Absolutely effing HATE being pregnant

[BertieBoo88]

There.. I said it. I'm sorry for people who long to be pregnant and don't want to sound ungrateful.
But I fucking HATE being pregnant. I'm only 14 weeks and I feel constantly on the brink of vomiting so I can't even go to Tesco without having a panic attack.. all I can do is lay in bed or on the sofa. 6 months sounds like a lifetime away. I feel like I'm on the worst rollercoaster and all I want to do is get off. How is this meant to be the most natural thing in the world!? What a joke. I think it's triggered some underlying depression and I just feel like my life has stopped. Everyone is going to work or living their lives the best they can in the circumstance and this pregnancy has put my life on pause. Seriously wondering if it's too late to do something about it to be honest.
Sorry I just needed a rant.

It's quite shit and I don't even have HG. I'm only 24 weeks and I'm pissed off with sore legs, sore hips and can't be arsed doing anything. I need to remember how completely shite this is in case I lose it after the birth and think about wanting a third.

GP wanted me to be checked over today. Blood pressure low, iron levels borderline and I've got a bloody urine infection so I have to take amoxicillin 3 x a day for 7 days.
Spoke to a different GP though who was lovely, I've now been given ondansetron as she said the antibiotics might make me feel worse and I obviously need to be able to take them.
Just fed up of not being able to do much more than lie on the sofa all day x

@BertieBoo88 how are you feeling today,?

@BertieBoo88, I feel the same way. I am 8+2 and despite this being a very much wanted pregnancy (took 11 months to get a BFP) and really looking forward to the end result, I have hated everything about being pregnant so far:

• I am lucky enough not to have vomited, but since six weeks I have had all day nausea and stomach churning.

• The lethargy is insane. I am having to nap in my lunch break just to survive a standard work day, whereas, pre-pregnancy, I would happily work until the small hous if a deadline demanded it. I also used to run frequently, but it's now an achievement if I even have the energy to go for a walk.

• We're now allowed to meet outside in groups of six, but I have found social events where I am the only person who can't drink both isolating and boring.

-I used to spend my evenings chatting with my DH over dinner, now I just can't wait for him to stop talking so that the dinner will be over and I can go to bed.

*small hours

I’m really sorry you are having such an awful time, I can’t even begin to imagine how terrible it must be.
I know others have said similar things but I just want to put my point of view on here. Many years ago I decided to have an abortion, I was young, not in a stable relationship, hadn’t started a career etc. I have forever regretted that decision, I became suicidal and felt I didn’t deserve to live, to me it felt like I had murdered my own baby and I couldn’t forgive myself for that. I still suffer now and anything to do with pregnancies / abortions will set me off. I think about it all the time I hate myself for it.

You say that you can’t imagine 7 more months of this, who knows how you would feel after an abortion, I’m sure relief but also remember that you may also go through many years of psychological trauma lasting a lot longer than 7 months. On the other hand you may just feel relief and that is all. It’s hard to know right now, I certainly didn’t imagine I would feel how I did before my abortion.
Your hormones are all over the place right now, making you feel things which aren’t rational.
You also say you aren’t maternal. You don’t need to be maternal to be a good mother. Your child just needs someone to love them. Not all mothers are the same and that’s absolutely fine! Don’t compare yourself and think you aren’t good enough because that’s absolutely not true! As long as your child is safe and loved that’s all that matters. I strongly believe hormones make you believe and feel things which aren’t true. It really messes with your head.
Only you know what is the right decision. I really hope you feel better soon.
This is all just my perspective based on what has happened to me but I have no judgement towards you whatever you do decide.

@bertieboo88
I was told by my dr, not to take cyclizine regularly and just take it as and when required, I didnt think it was supposed to be taken regularly. the label on mine even says take 3 tablet a day as needed?
might explain why it's not working for me if I'm meant to take it regularly 🤔 xxx

If someone offered to knock me out or put me in a coma until this bloody baby is born I would happily oblige..

Yes, I felt like this with all 3. Severe sickness/nausea, that lasted for 5/6 months and then SPD kicked in and I couldn't walk.

I threw up on school runs, and was out with crutches. Felt like hell all the time. With the 3rd, I literally stayed in for 9 months.

The nausea is a killer. Things that helped a tiny bit, eating porridge before I went to bed, waking up every 1-2 hours and eating a cracker, taking high dose of b6 (supposed to be good for hormone balance) but really what helps the most is having someone understand how shit it is.

Pregnancy isn't an illness, but it sure as hell can feel like one.

It will pass

@gluteustothemaximus I'm so sorry you went through this. Everyone says it's not forever and it's self inflicted but it really feels never ending doesn't it. Part of me thinks that the desire to want to feel better and have my body/health and my life back overrides my desire to have this baby. It's awful x

@vixey how often have you been taking it? My doctor said exactly the same as and when needed up to 3 times a day. So I was only taken them if I hadn't been able to eat for a few days. when I started taking then 2/3 times a day the nausea did seem to ease a bit and I was able to eat a bit more but the headache is terrible x

@Mctm Thank you for your input. I suppose that's partly why I've booked abortions twice and gotten to 15 weeks now.. the worry that I'll regret it. My mums words "once it's done it's done" echoing. But it's just so hard to see any other option on days when I'm feeling so bad and just want my life back when 6 months seems to far away x

So here is my weekly update!

Painful haemorrhoids that are bleeding very very heavily every time I go to the loo. Can't walk far else it makes them hurt more.

Low blood pressure - I've seen the doctor 3 times this week and each time I go my BP gets lower, this morning it was 90/60 I think

Leukocytes in my urine which they think is infection so I'm now on antibiotics 3 x a day for a week.

Nausea is even worse even though I'm now taking ondaseteron which is meant for chemo patients.

What the hell else is going to come and join this party!! x

Oh @BertieBoo88 I’m sorry you’re still having such a rough ride. I’m 15 weeks too and nausea is now just mornings and evenings rather than all day so that’s progress right there. Still hating life though. I also struggle with low blood pressure. The advice I received in previous pregnancies was to drink lots of water and avoid standing up too quickly or standing for too long. But generally brushed off as it’s better than having high blood pressure.

Sounds like you’ve hit the jackpot with pregnancy complaints - no doubt that will mean as easy birth and well behaved baby? Seems only fair...

You're not the first and certainly not the last to say this!
I was the same, absolutely HATED being pregnant.. the sickness, sheer exhaustion, nausea every time I moved, swollen feet that I could barely fit into flip flops.. the list goes on! I had a stressful pregnancy as I nearly lost my mum, and our house purchase fell through 3 months before I was due, was in such a depression and almost denial that there was going to be a baby arriving.
The only thing I can say is the old adage of 'it's worth it'. It really is. Even with the hemorrhoids, painful scar, wobbly belly, and mental hormones the last 4 months since my son was born have been the happiest of my life!

Not sure I'd do pregnancy again though __

God, it's awful. I totally understand. It will feel so long (and then the first year of their babyhood goes by in the blink of an eye)

I couldn't tell anyone this at the time, but I wanted an abortion with number 2 pregnancy. I would never judge anyone who did/has, it is truly awful to feel so ill all of the time. My midwife had just gone through cancer treatment and she said bad pregnancy nausea was as bad as her chemo nausea. Unbearable.

Oh god, you've reminded me of the piles. The pregnancy gods aren't always fair. Some of us get everything going.

@bertieboo88
maybe once a day, but only if I feel sick and feel like I can't eat, otherwise I try and manage without. maybe I need to have it more often then 🤔 might be worth a try anyway xxx

15+3 today and still struggling massively. On top of that playschool rang as DS must've overheard a conversation and he's been telling his teachers "the baby is making mummy sick and she wants the baby to die and I think she wants me to die too" 😢 how bloody awful.
I wish I'd just gone ahead at 6-8 weeks and took the bloody tablet when it would've just been like a bad period.

OP can you get a referral to the perinatal team? Is your DS ok?