Absolutely effing HATE being pregnant

[BertieBoo88]

There.. I said it. I'm sorry for people who long to be pregnant and don't want to sound ungrateful.
But I fucking HATE being pregnant. I'm only 14 weeks and I feel constantly on the brink of vomiting so I can't even go to Tesco without having a panic attack.. all I can do is lay in bed or on the sofa. 6 months sounds like a lifetime away. I feel like I'm on the worst rollercoaster and all I want to do is get off. How is this meant to be the most natural thing in the world!? What a joke. I think it's triggered some underlying depression and I just feel like my life has stopped. Everyone is going to work or living their lives the best they can in the circumstance and this pregnancy has put my life on pause. Seriously wondering if it's too late to do something about it to be honest.
Sorry I just needed a rant.

OP an abortion at this stage isn't a big operation. You have to take a pessary and a few hours later you would be under GA for around 20 mins for a D&E. I had one after 14 weeks a few years ago (didn't know I was pregnant) and I recovered well. You would be there most of the day and would need transport to and from the clinic as you're not allowed to drive. Good luck with whatever you decide .
I'm not trying to persuade you either way, just thought you should be fully informed.

@Runkle oh really? Well at least that's some reassurance. I'm 14 weeks tomorrow so providing they had appointments next week I would be between 14-15 weeks.
Did you find it very painful at all? How did you feel in yourself? x

Whilst it isn't painful at that stage it is mentally a lot to deal with. Even if it's what you want and understandably so it is not a quick fix as PP have said.

@Wrigleys123

Whilst it isn't painful at that stage it is mentally a lot to deal with. Even if it's what you want and understandably so it is not a quick fix as PP have said.

No I can understand that. I'm just wondering what the process is like and the recovery time physically. I'm suffering mentally at the moment anyway, albeit an abortion will have a different kind of affect on my mental health.. at least I'd have my body back x

I'm so glad I found this thread, I was TTC for almost a year and a half, this is a much wanted baby but I have HATED pregnancy so far, and then I get upset and feel guilty for feeling this way because "I wanted this". I truly believe its not talked about enough that pregnancy isn't a beautiful miracle for everyone, even if it's the most wanted baby in the world you can end up feeling miserable. I've spent most of this pregnancy crying about how I hate how i feel, how I feel guilty for feeling that way etc.

For me the sickness is finally starting to ease, started to lift at 20 weeks. I still get the odd day here and there but it's not constant anymore, I wouldn't say I fully have my life back because I don't feel 100% healthy (probably lack of sleep due to insomnia and the pelvic pain etc) but I do feel a little less miserable.

You absolutely do not need to continue with the pregnancy if you don't want to OP, I can absolutely relate to the thoughts of just wanting to feel normal again. If you do decide to continue with the pregnancy though absolutely speak to a midwife about your feelings, they could get you some help etc just to talk stuff through which can be helpful!

Good luck whatever you decide OP

I loved pregnancy with my first- Mother Nature herself wafting around stroking my bump 🙄

Second pregnancy I fucking detested every single minute of. I have anxiety disorder and pregnancy just rockets it to a whole new level. I had severe sickness that wasn’t actually HG, but an effect of the constant anxiety I was experiencing. I ended up paying for private therapy and so so glad I did. My sickness went at 21 weeks after the anomaly scan as that was giving me insane levels of anxiety (had a full panic attack during the scan).

Baby boy was born 10 days ago and he’s the best thing ever 😍

Still would never ever do pregnancy again though and DH ain’t coming anywhere near me until he’s had the snip (seeing as I fell pregnant on the pill that had worked for years!)

Not painful at all.l physically. Mentally, yes, but it was my choice so I felt relief mostly. I was physically fine, went to supermarket on the way home to get something for tea. Felt sleepy (probably the GA), bled for around 1-2 weeks just like a normal period. One thing I wasn't prepared for was that I was leaking 'milk' for a day or so - that was upsetting I must admit and a hard reminder. No cramps, no pain down below. Had it done on a Thursday and was back in work the Monday.

I hear you. I had hyperemesis and felt awful for months. It does get better though (or perhaps you get used to it) and the big benefit was that when the baby was born, I felt AMAZING - better than I'd done throughout my entire pregnancy. While everyone else feels like they've been hit by a bus coping with a newborn, it was a doddle for me as just being able to get out and about without constantly feeling like I was about to barf was fab!

@BertieBoo88 I don't think you're doing enough to sort out the sickness so I don't believe that's really the issue. You'd be 100% on it medication wise otherwise.

Sounds like you have hyperemesis. There's lots of different meds you can try, that GPs don't necessarily prescribe if they're not used to dealing with it.

Get in touch with Pregnancy Sickness Support charity for advice before making any drastic decisions. Many clinics don't do medical terminations past 14 weeks, you may need surgery.

I had a termination at 15+6 many years ago when I was quite young, as mentions by PP they give you a pessary ( I have a very low pain threshold unfortunately and the cramping was quite painful for me) and then a few hours your under G/A As soon as your awake it’s not long before your sent home I wasn’t in any pain afterwards but wasn’t expecting to feel so mentally shite afterwards especially knowing that a termination was the right decision, mine was a Monday and back at collage on the Wednesday. the milk leaking was also a massive shock as nobody had told me this would happen and I did get upset as it was a reminder of being pregnant, you need to do what’s best for you OP and shouldnt feel any guilt in whatever you decide to do I’ve struggled in this pregnancy so far myself and have thought is this really the right thing to do you are definitely not alone in this

I'm 22 weeks tomorrow and taking medication 3 times a day ( tried a few different types and found metoclopramide helped most) I'm still feeling nauseous at certain points in the day and occasionally vomit still BUT it's definitely improved, I was you before it was so bad I used to say like you that I want to be put in a coma , that I can't carry on like that, I wanted to wake up and it to just not have happened , I had no joy in life I couldn't enjoy my toddler , couldn't enjoy a simple cup of tea but now despite still have some nausea and not being myself completely it's better enough that getting to the end of the pregnancy no longer scares me , I can have a cup of coffee once a day , watch a film and actually enjoy it , I definitely had to lower my standards around housework etc but I manage now which is the main thing , even bought baby some bits and can think about looking forward now.

Except for the fact it is wonderful to be "pregnant" and having a baby being pregnant SUCKS! I'm over the nausea (about 13-14 weeks) and was in quite a good place then the pelvic gridle pain kicked in and now I would give anything just to feel nausea again instead of this! Meant to rest to see if it settles, can't rest with 2 small children. SO many other crap things that you can get in pregnancy, I'm happy for those that bounce through it with a smile but I also wish people would understand it can be tough going! Hope you are feeling better soon!

I felt so so depressed in the first trimester of my first pregnancy, I like you expected the "morning" sickness to be done by 12 weeks and when it wasn't I thought I couldn't carry on, I cried every day, force fed myself because I knew that was the only thing that helped a bit even though I gagged on every bite of food, thought it would never end and then at about 16/17 weeks I literally woke up one morning and it was gone. I was expecting it to go gradually like an illness I'd slowly get better from but no it was like a switch. X

Op this was me this time last year, in fact I spent most of Easter weekend in bed as I couldn’t move without being sick.

Constant nausea, daily sickness and severe food aversions are awful and absolutely affected my mental health. It was impossible to enjoy anything and I completely felt like I was failing my 5 year old as even providing basic care was honestly a struggle. I desperately didn’t want to be pregnant anymore even though the pregnancy was tried for and very much wanted.

Gradually I started to feel better, I think the nausea peaked somewhere between 11 and 15 weeks and then slowly started to reduce. By about 25 weeks I felt almost normal and the end of pregnancy was so, so much easier than those first awful weeks even though my bump was huge & very heavy (9lb baby at 39 weeks)

I now have a beautiful 5 month old and wouldn’t change it for the world, I am so very relieved that I persevered and got through it.

When deciding whether to continue or not try to think about the end result, if the pregnancy was planned and baby wanted then please seek all help possible to try to reduce the sickness and access more support. Talk to your midwife, hassle your gp, ask to see another gp if yours isn’t supportive.

I have no experience of termination so can’t help with that but it looks as though you have already received some really good advice above about what would be involved if you go down this route.

Not sure if you have seen already but there is also a hyperemesis support thread here on mumsnet full of ladies suffering awful pregnancy sickness. Definitely worth a read as following this when I felt so awful last year made me feel just that bit less alone, even though I was never brave enough to post.

It is truly awful when you are in the thick of it and you have my full sympathy.

Good luck with whatever you decide, really hope you start to feel better soon.

BertieBoo: "When did you start to feel better by? "
....
Twice you've said that! There is no need for the 'by'.

Everyone feels better at different times. If you are constantly nauseous and vomiting you must consult your doctor because that is not right. However it may pass in a week or so and you can return to work.

It must be rough to have a difficult pregnancy and you didn't expect to have such a bad time after a reasonable one with your first. You have my sympathy.

Pamper yourself as much as you can, take any medical advice available and hope the time passes quickly.

Good luck.

@Jurassiclover Thank you. I'm so glad it's not just me that has ever felt this way. I was beginning to feel like I was.
I spoke to my midwife as early as my booking appointment and I just got the standard "speak to your GP" I'm on the 3rd attempt at medication.. the first lot (Phenergan) gave me terrible headache, metoclopramide didn't make a difference I might as well have been popping smarties and cyclizine does occasionally take the edge off but makes me very tired.
I feel like this week is the last week I really have any time left to make a decision. I think once I get to the 15-16 week mark it's then getting too far in my own mind.
I just want my life back and to be able to just feel normal again! So at 20 weeks did you feel better quite quickly? If I'd have known that the magic 12 weeks was a load of rubbish I think I would've probably ended it as soon as I found out to be honest. I wish I hadn't let it drag out this long x

I hate pregnancy with a passion, how anyone has 10 children I’m in awe!

First pregnancy I was sick and felt awful till they were born, second pregnancy stopped being sick around 30 weeks but still didn’t have a good appetite.

I would say if you want the baby but struggling with the pregnancy look at other antisickness meds and pre natal depression / counselling.

However if it’s not for you, an abortion is total acceptable. I was offered one by the doctors around 16 weeks when I was so distraught about the sickness etc. And ended up in hospital.

I did struggle to bond with my children, I hated what they did to me and how I felt so rubbish all the time. I didn’t have that rush of love, it came slowly, just to prepare you if you continue with the pregnancy. Xx

Also the midwifes were pretty useless on the sickness front, I remember one saying probably not much point getting sickness meds as you will probably just throw it up anyway. GPS are definitely your best route x

Hi @BertieBoo88 I could've written your post when I was at the same stage!

I had low BP, low iron and was so sick. They (half) sorted out my iron and BP which did help slightly with the sickness. I managed to find goods that made me feel slightly better; I also started taking gaviscon and sickness tablets - all the symptoms eased by 20 weeks; I'm now 28 weeks and only take the gaviscon every so often - maybe 3 x a week.

Speak to your GP again; my midwife wasn't very helpful - I've only seen her twice during the pregnancy but my GP seemed to listen to what I was saying and prescribed a few options at a time for me to try & if I didn't get on with them then I could switch without needing to call them back again

Hope you begin to feel better soon

OP speak to your GP about getting ondansetron. You can take it in addition to cyclizine and it could really help you feel better. Sorry you are going through this, but bear in mind HCG levels peak around week 12ish, and after week 16 drop off very quickly so there is plenty of hope that you are in the home stretch.

@Flappityflippers1 Exactly like me! I suffer from terrible anxiety also and I stopped my meds at the start of this pregnancy which I think has made it worse. Sometimes if I do wonder whether I'm in a vicious circle of I feel sick so I get anxious and then because I'm anxious I feel even more sick. I mean I know I can't prove if that's the case or not but it's crossed my mind.
20 weeks just seems a lifetime away doesn't it when you've already spend from week 5 counting down to week 12! x

@pbdr Thank you. I've just scared myself stupid with stories of it lasting all the way through and I just think if it does I will not be able to handle it mentally, especially once the option of abortion is taken off the table.
I've heard Ondestaron mentioned a lot.. they call it Zofran in the US don't they? Were you able to get hold of it quite easily? I've heard it's expensive so it's one they give you as a last resort

If you're that sick you'd be doing more to sort it. Been there got the t-shirt. Sort your meds out.

[quote BertieBoo88]@pbdr Thank you. I've just scared myself stupid with stories of it lasting all the way through and I just think if it does I will not be able to handle it mentally, especially once the option of abortion is taken off the table.
I've heard Ondestaron mentioned a lot.. they call it Zofran in the US don't they? Were you able to get hold of it quite easily? I've heard it's expensive so it's one they give you as a last resort [/quote]
Really recommend speaking to Pregnancy Sickness Support charity, as i said in previous message, there are different meds that you haven't tried yet AND that can be taken in combinations. There are also IV steroids and IV fluids that you can get as a day case in hospital, which make a dramatic difference. Don't expect your GP or midwife to necessarily be best informed, find out all the options from the charity and be informed