SI Graduates - From pots to bumps

[eloiseislost]

@AdriannaP
@ComebackQueen

I think it's just us at the moment (sorry if I forgot anyone) but hoping that more and more of us will be joining soon!
I figured it would be nice to stay in touch here too, throughout the exciting yet nerve-wracking next stages! 💞

How are you getting on? 🙂

@eloiseislost what an amazing post !
Your right on every single point x when we first got our positive test I kept saying to myself ' I'll relax when I get to 12 weeks' but that means I'm bit celebrating or enjoying the first few months so it makes total sense !

I think I'm just wayyyy over thinking things. I need to learn to relax x it's hard but I'm going to try my best to keep as busy as possible x not like I don't have an absolute shit load to do !!

@Carol1980 sorry it's been a tough day but I echo what the others say! I'm trying to focus on the fact that the statistics are in my favour... it's much more likely to be a positive outcome than a negative one. I think it's also normal for symptoms to fluctuate... or not get any at all, you still hear about people who manage to give birth without realising they're pregnant, although I have no idea how! Sending lots of love to you and your little miracle xx

@Carol1980 so sorry to hear you're having a stressful day. God those early days and weeks are so bloody nervewracking.
I echo everything eloise said- nothing you've done or not done will change the outcome of what is going to happen. Easier said than done but try to avoid POAS for 48 hours if you can. I know though that I was an absolute POAS addict in those early weeks. Am keeping everything crossed for you and this tiny little bean xx

@ejefferinton I keep convincing myself that I'm just not that lucky ! I honestly wish I could just zen out and go with the flow ! It's good to hear that the symptoms come and go, I don't remember from the last time to be honest 😬

@Makingnumber2 yep and I'm still a testing junkie !
So I decided that I would have very little to drink this afternoon, from 1330-1900. Took a weeks test and it's came back up as 2-3 weeks ! I fucking hate how my body is messing with me.
I'm going to try and relax as much as I can and just keep as busy as I can. My biggest hope is that I just chill and enjoy the fact that I am pregnant !!

Waayyyyy too much tmi but anyone else get itchy vag at 5 weeks ? I literally want to claw my vulva off just now 🤦🏼‍♀️🤮

@eloiseislost thanks I didn’t notice the PayPal option when I first checked, my MIL ended up ordering it for us, she’s that type that you casually mention something you’re looking at and she buys it before you can blink. So, if anything goes wrong, it’s her that has to have the stress, bless her, she did use the PayPal options so there’s always that.

I think that’s officially our first baby purchase although, we didn’t purchase it!

Meeting my cousins this weekend for a reunion so we are officially announcing the news to the extended family on my side, I’m nervous because even though I’m not too many weeks of 7th month, I’m just a nervous Nancy.

@Carol1980 sorry you’re feeling so anxious and nervous, I know how you feel but all the other ladies have given such great advice, I know it’s hard but what’s meant to be has already been written, so please don’t stress too much.

@Carol1980 keeping everything crossed for you and thinking about you - early pregnancy is so nerve wracking especially if you've experienced loss before. At 6 weeks I briefly had a period of stabbing one sided pain that sent me into crying fits I was that convinced it was over. My week indicator tests were sooo slow too. Whatever happens, you'll have a great suppory network here, keep us posted ❤️

@ComebackQueen you are a parient saint for being able to wait until third trimester before telling some people - I wanted to scream it from the mountains after we made it to 12 weeks 😂 Especially since it took soooo long to get there. Exciting about your first purchase even if you didnt make it - I got a gift from a friend yday, our first baby bodysuit - it's so small and so cute, every time I look at it I melt 🥺

I had my consultant appointment today to discuss birthing options given my vaginismus. She said that vaginal labour itself is probably not the biggest problem but rather the concept of induction or examinations in general which tend to be painful for ladies in my situation and cant be done under epidural in early stages. She did say that I can opt for an elective c-section but I really want to give vaginal birth a chance if I can. She said I might want to opt for midwife led unit to begin with as they tend to be less invasive/do fewer examinations, and then ask to be moved on the ward if I want to opt for epidural for any later exams. For now, I am just going to go back to my dilators and pelvic floor exams and try to use the next 5 months to work on my muscles and relax them as much as possible 🙌🏼

@ComebackQueen All the big purchases for the baby so far were from my in-laws: the travel system, extra car seat, the cot and the mattress, the moses basket, the carrier. They always have this approach where they transfer a chunk of money to our bank account and tell us to just buy whatever we want, so we did! 🙈🙉🙊

@eloiseislost wow that’s so lovely of your in laws, it’s nice when you have a support system to take the burden off as well.

My mums getting me the baby brezza and cosi co-sleeper so I think all our big purchases came from our respective parent(s) too.

It’ll mean we will have more money to actually spend on the little things which all add up.

Plus, I’ve been on SSP since being signed off work so we have taken a bit financially even before I go off for maternity leave which again will only be paid at SMP rates.

@primrosechill
i know what you mean about wanting to shout the good news but we were always planning to get the 20 weeks scam out the way but when various things were flagged up, I retreated back into a shell so only my immediate family and husbands were told. He told a few close friends but I only really have/had one close friend but she hid her entire pregnancy from me, so I was never going to tell her.

Me telling my cousins on the weekend is like my going to AA and admitting im an alcoholic, once it’s out there it’ll actually be real.

I just hope the last trimester can go smoothly and little man grows big and strong and we can finally get our happy ending.

Hey ladies x I'm weirdly calm today....

Purchase wise I waited so long the last time before I bought anything !

Recommendation wise ....

I got the Concord Neo pram, absolutely amazing pram and plan on using it again this time. The brake for the wheels is on the handle bar and the sleeper bit of the pram can be used as a car seat too !

My hummy is a life saver ! My daughter ( now 3) still uses hers !

If your thinking of Breast feeding , the Nuby breast pump is fab

We use the angel care monitor, with sensor pad, no camera ( didn't appeal to me)

Start buying nappies now ! Get a supply.

Lansinoah nipple cream is the best one for cracked nipples and you can still feed with it lathered on.

If you struggle breast feeding buy the nipple guards, medela silicone is ones are the best !

If I think of anything else and you would like more recommendations let me know x

@Carol1980 wow so helpful, about the nipple cream, I’m not going to breastfeed but my nipples are so cracked and sore. Can I use that cream even if not breast feeding? I’ve tried to use coca butter but it gives barely any relief.

The nipples are so unsightly atm worry, TMI

@ComebackQueen yep you can use it anytime 😁

It's really thick and if you put on a thick layer your nipples will feel better by the next day. I used it loads when I first started breastfeeding and it's honestly a life saver !

Keeping my fingers firmly crossed for you @Carol1980! What a rollercoaster of a 24h for you you poor thing.
@primrosechill so pleased your appointment went well and was so informative. I think it’s great you still want to pursue vaginal birth route and agree with what your consultant has said re midwife led unit would mean less internal exams etc. I only had one actually in the birth centre and that was to check I had progressed enough to get in the pool. I did also have one in the triage area on first arrival so they knew whether to send me home or let me through to birth centre. At all times though an internal exam is only permissible with your consent and it would be noted in your birth plan presumably about vaginismus so staff could be aware of importance of keeping any exams to a total minimum. I used hypnobirthing to help me relax and keep me from tensing up in general during labour and found it really helpful. I did the K Greaves hypnobirthing audio book and would recommend it.

General recommendations-
Totally agree with myhummy! Best white noise machine on market by a long stretch in my opinion. My DD still uses it now at 3yo!

Also a gro blind blackout blind is fab to help encourage daytime naps in crib. Again we still use it in DDs room. In fact we have 3... one for home, one for holidays and one for my mums house. (Guess I just outed myself as that mum who was obsessed with getting baby to sleep 😂)

I recommend the huckleberry app for tracking naps and feeds once baby is old enough to start getting into a loose routine.

A sleepyhead was also a great purchase for us- when a newborn it was the only thing she would sleep in aside from on us and after 2 weeks of tag teaming shifts through the night of holding her so she slept between feeds it saved our sanity.

Mam glow in dark dummies newborn size if you are open to trying dummies. Nothing worse than not being able to find any in middle of night cos they’ve migrated to corner of bassinet/crib etc

Angel bath seat- made me so much less nervous about bathing her as was worried i would drop her when she was slippy.

Also little hooded towels were great for keeping them snuggly after bath.

We borrowed a baby swing from my friend- it was a battery one wiTh a few diff speeds and played a few times and she loved it.

We used a camera monitor cos I liked being able to see her. Although it did become a bit unhealthily addictive to sit and watch Her on it instead of enjoying the hour of quiet whilst she slept!

@Carol1980 thank you I just ordered that, my nipples will be so grateful lol!

Sorry, sounds silly by this myhummy is it this you?

myhummy.co.uk/?utm_campaign=1672679933&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=396568842903&utm_term=hummy&adgroupid=67068021564&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIx-mcm-CD8gIVisLtCh34wgRnEAAYASAAEgL2wPD_BwE

I’m planning to rely on any gadget that will make my life easier!

@ComebackQueen yeah that's the site. We originally got the original ( prior to them bringing out the Bluetooth one) but contacted them once they had brought out the Bluetooth unit and asked them just for the unit alone ( since we already had the teddy) and they let me buy it seperate. The Bluetooth is fab !
We started using it for every nap, bedtime etc when my daughter was 3 months old, and we've been using it since. It's pretty much part of get bedtime routine so she knows it's def time to sleep etc

I'm going to ask a silly question... what do you do about bras?! I'm only 7w but struggling already with my bras. Not planning to get any new ones yet but when I do, do I keep having to get new ones as I get bigger? I know you get ones with extendable backs but what about the cup sizes? And do you have to get measured every time? Advice please!

@ejefferinton I bought back extenders from amazon- got like a mega multipack for £8 and this meant I didn't have to buy new 'maternity' bras until closer to 16 weeks. This pregnancy my boobs are only just getting bigger so I will start to use back extenders first and then once my cups runneth over so to speak I'll upgrade to some new maternity bras.

Oh and I didn't bother getting measured until I went for totally new bras once back extenders were no longer doing the job.

I must be the only one who’s boobs didn’t really get bigger, my nipples did but I could get away with wearing the bra on the last cusp, maybe I was wearing bras to big for me to begin with .

Is anyone thinking when to start their Mat Leave?

I’ve used most of my AL allowance to cushion the blow when I was put on sick leave for months due to HG.

I guess I’ll be working until week 39 lol.
My HR told me that if I was to go off sick in the next few weeks, as my HG is being awful due to the weather and chronic constipation, she will have no choice to start my maternity leave. Apparently once you get to the last trimester, an employer can place you on maternity leave.

So, I need to make sure even if I’m struggling, not to get a doctors sick note otherwise I’ll lose almost three months of maternity leave.
Also, if I do take the odd sick day if I’m bad, she’s told me off the record to claim something non pregnancy related. Now, I’m in two minds because I’ve never taken a day off at my current employers besides pregnancy related. Pregnancy related time off gives me protection against it being used against me for absences, so why is she telling me not to use pregnancy if I genuinely need to a day off if I end up back in hospital?

Ugh, maybe I’m over thinking this!

@ComebackQueen mine are noticeably bigger and really uncomfortable already and I'm only 7w!
Sounds stressful about work, not sure why they would tell you to take it off as not maternity related, unless it's to protect your maternity leave? Quite a few of my colleagues seem to keep going right up until the end but I'm in a school so no idea how they do it!

@ComebackQueen I actually think it's my back/ribs which expand more than my actual boobs which is why back expanders worked so well for so long for me I think.

So re: your mat leave/sick days. HR are right- your employer can trigger an early start to mat leave if you are off with pregnancy related illness within 4 weeks of your expected due date. So HR person is good to tell you OTR not to give pregnancy related reason if you do need to go off sick from week 36.
A good choice would be to ask doc to sign you off with general anxiety if you do need a lengthier sick note- you will then had protection under mental health act. Just ensure they don't make any comments around the anxiety being linked to pregnancy. I know it doesn't feel nice to be dishonest/ use the system in this way so you decide to just bite the bullet and lose the 4 weeks mat leave by beginning early.
Maternity action is a fab website with info on this type of thing and also pregnantthenscrewed is another organisation which has an advice line for women around matters linked to pregnancy/maternity leave and work.
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/#:~:text=after%20the%20birth.-,If%20you%20are%20off%20sick%20with%20a%20pregnancy%2Drelated%20illness,leave%2Fpay%20earlier%20than%20this.

Gosh my typos are horrendous! Sorry- it should read: 'so you may just decide to bite the bullet'

@ejefferinton if you're a teacher then I really, really recommend this website for advice and guidance on using a combo of maternity leave and split parental leave to give you pay through the longer holiday periods. I am so gutted I didn't know about it with my first child and mat leave!
www.teachersspl.co.uk/

@Carol1980 @Makingnumber2 thank you for all super useful tips for baby stuff purchases! And Making, thanks for your feedback on giving birth in maternity led unit - you are absolutely right, I just need to be quite clear with my midwives that I was the examinations to be kept to the absolutely necessary minimum.

@ComebackQueen that does indeed sound stressful witb the mat leave - although I bet you're counting down the days with the HG you've been experiencing! I'm only in week 17 now so still loads of time to think about it but as the baby is due in early Jan, I think I will sign off a week before Christmas or so, so 2-3 weeks before she's due

[quote Makingnumber2]@ComebackQueen I actually think it's my back/ribs which expand more than my actual boobs which is why back expanders worked so well for so long for me I think.

So re: your mat leave/sick days. HR are right- your employer can trigger an early start to mat leave if you are off with pregnancy related illness within 4 weeks of your expected due date. So HR person is good to tell you OTR not to give pregnancy related reason if you do need to go off sick from week 36.
A good choice would be to ask doc to sign you off with general anxiety if you do need a lengthier sick note- you will then had protection under mental health act. Just ensure they don't make any comments around the anxiety being linked to pregnancy. I know it doesn't feel nice to be dishonest/ use the system in this way so you decide to just bite the bullet and lose the 4 weeks mat leave by beginning early.
Maternity action is a fab website with info on this type of thing and also pregnantthenscrewed is another organisation which has an advice line for women around matters linked to pregnancy/maternity leave and work.
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/#:~:text=after%20the%20birth.-,If%20you%20are%20off%20sick%20with%20a%20pregnancy%2Drelated%20illness,leave%2Fpay%20earlier%20than%20this.[/quote]
Wow thank you, so helpful, I’ll that link out too, as I am so constipated, the sickness is really bad even with tablets.

Struggled more so after lunch today as when it doesn’t come out that end I’m on the toilet seat vomiting up a storm.

I’ll bear in mind if I do need to be signed off which is looking likely, I’ll not mention any pregnancy related anxiety etc.

Hey ladies x hope you are all well and the little beans are cooking well ❤️

So it's been an interesting few days, my hcg seems to be dropping, weeks test came back as 1-2 weeks again, and I took a IC this morning and the line was fainter than the day before.

I still have sore boobs, and yesterday I was peeing for Britain and even today I'm still getting creamy CM 🤷‍♀️

I'm pretty sure that this pregnancy isn't viable, that's my gut feeling, but my heart has been saying maybe it's the hook effect...who am I kidding 🤣🤣 it's totally rare and I'm literally clutching at straws. Weirdly I don't feel anything right now, I'm gutted, and the rational part of my brain is thinking it will only be a matter of days before I start bleeding etc. But the hopeful part of my brain is like 'dude you have no cramping, no bleeding, and sore boobs', what a cruel body I have 😬🙄

Please don't worry about me though, I'm just seeing what happens now 🤷‍♀️ I'm worried my hubby will be really disappointed in me, not that I have control over it, but I just hate letting him down x