Pregnant after loss thread- November 2021

[Sallyjo27]

Hi all, I’m currently 4 weeks pregnant after 4 previous miscarriages. I don’t really have any symptoms other than boobs a bit sore and nipples sensitive. I’m on clexane injections, cyclogest and aspirin as all the tests they’ve run have found nothing wrong. Is anyone else due in November after loss? I thought it would be a nice idea to have a thread where we can all chat and share our journeys x

Hi @PurpleRaven777 and @Sp1odge . Yes it's so emotionally draining 😔but as you said we are pregnant til proven otherwise! I think I will book an early scan, I was thinking 7 weeks. I'm in two minds though as for me, that would make it harder if it went wrong. I don't know. I might ask the midwife when I register on Monday. On the brighter side, I just did a cheap test and it was a v strong BfP, always good to see. Boobs are really tender today too. How is everyone doing this evening?

It really seems to be the luck of the draw when it comes to healthcare. I saw a brilliant GP after my mc. But I know how pressured they are and how common mcs are but it's very hard when it's something so important to us. I want nothing more in the world than to have a healthy baby in 8 months but I remind myself, there is v little that anyone can actually do. I feel like I'm just willing it to be ok . Much like when I fly and I will the plane to remain airborne!!

@Tweaker I'd had a scan at 8wks with my second pregnancy and then had the bad luck to come down with chickenpox, even though I've already had to add a child. They dated the loss a 9 weeks. With the third pregnancy, I started bleeding a couple of days before the scan so cancelled it. The place near is, the prices drop a lot at 8 weeks but I've booked closer to 9 in the hopes of feeling more reassured. I could really do with the boost to get through feeling so rubbish.

GP is lovely lady and I asked to speak to her specifically. She very much sounded like her hands were tied. I think if I'd rung back and said I'd had bleeding she wouldn't have asked me too many questions and referred straight away. I just didn't want to tempt fate!

I think i it's so hard to remain positive when you've had previous losses it's hard to shift the mindset that something is going to happen. I'm trying to remain positive even though symptoms are aren't strong . I want to feel very sick and exhausted but only getting mild nausea and tender boobs at the minute- only at night time when I'm sleeping are my boobs killing me! May invest in a wee bra to wear at bedtime I think.
That's me six weeks today- how far along is everyone else now? Anyone had any good early scan pics at 6 weeks? Xxxx

Every day that passes is a win. I got my 2-3 weeks this morning on a digital so hoping for 3+ next weekend. Impossible after a loss not to worry and I think we should be really kind to ourselves at the moment. What can you see on a scan pic at 7/8 weeks? Can you hear a heartbeat?

Hi all, I hope I am able to join too.

I had a mc in December 2020 at 7+3. I'm now 4+3 and although absolutely over the moon I'm also so terrified of losing this baby too. I've been poas since 9dpo when I found out, and have booked an early scan for 8 weeks, but feels like time is really dragging. I've decided I'm going to stop poas from today and will just do another clear blue weeks next week to check it has gone up to 3+ weeks.

Since finding out I've been overanalyzing everything I do, before this BFP I used to go running a few times a week and do 3-4 yoga classes a week, but I've cut down to only 2 yoga classes where both teacher know I'm pregnant and am too frightened to go running. I've been completed worried about making sure I'm eating the right things/not having the 'wrong' things. And every time I go to the bathroom I've been expecting blood. I had a tiny brown spotting at 10dpo which I think was implantation, but I had the smallest bit of dark red with it, so I've convinced myself that I mc at that point and my body hasn't caught up.

I'm usually quite a relaxed person, and do daily meditation but I'm really finding it hard to believe that this pregnancy could/will work out well.

Just wondering how everyone else is doing and the techniques they've been using to help themselves relax through this?

@PurpleRaven777 how awful for you to have had the chickenpox - pregnancy can just feel so unfair. I was so focused on getting a BfP but of course, that's just the beginning of the worry.

@PlantMummy87 welcome I could have written your post almost word for word - I'm just a few days ahead. I just cannot believe it will work out. However, I remind myself that there's nothing I can do. It's in nature's hands and my one cup of coffee, run or piece of chocolate cake isn't going to be the thing that makes or breaks it. We can only do so much. I just come back to the moment and try to keep busy - time drags when we just want to race ahead. I have stopped poas and just did a digital today one week after the first one to see it go from 1-2 to 2-3. I'll do another in a week then that's it. I'm glad we have this thread, I feel less alone.

@Geyser33 My boobs are really sore. I recommend the h+m nursing vests! They have inbuilt support and I found them super useful underneath other clothes later in pregnancy and when nursing.

I'll be 8wks Tuesday and that's when I started bleeding with the last MC so I think it might be a tough week but I have my scan next Saturday to look forward to. You can't see much on the scan at that stage but there should be a heartbeat. The place I go to, you can't listen and they don't measure it but you can see it flickering on screen.

@PlantMummy87 If you don't mind me saying, it sounds like you are still at the stage of grief where you're blaming yourself subconsciously. Please remember it's nothing that you did wrong. I'm not the most active person but I know it feels you should wrap yourself in cotton wool! Tweaker is right though and you have to try and keep living in the moment. Mild exercise is actually supposed to be really good for pregnancy and, if it keeps your stress levels lower, that can only be a good thing

Really hope the week goes fast for you and that once out the others side can relax a bit more. Thais for the heads up on H&M will have a look online later

Hi everyone!

It is a strange feeling reading all your comments - it is nice to feel that others get how worrisome this time is but I’m so sorry about the losses you’ve suffered to bring you to this point.

I still can’t believe that more isn’t known and understood about MC and pregnancy loss given how many people it seems to effect.

Congrats @Tweaker for your 2-3 test, great news.

@PlantMummy87 I’m in the same boat re exercise. I guilt-tripped myself over a big workout last weekend, but I agree with other advice - if you enjoy it, and it’s important to you, then keep doing your runs/yoga. Exercise is healthy and your hobbies are part of who you are. And it’s more important than ever to protect mental health as much as possible right now.

This week was when my last preg was due so it’s been a bit rubbish, particularly with symptoms now fully gone and highly suspecting that the same has happened again. @Geyser33 I think you are doing such a great job at staying zen and positive, I am trying to channel you!

If you all don’t mind me asking - are your early scans through the NHS or are you booking them privately?

Love to all xxxxx

Anniversaries will always be hard, you have to allow yourself to feel sad and angry. We are all human and can only take so much. I agree I thin is crazy how many of us have suffered so many losses yet so little help or support available except on chats like this.
Not sure about being zen but definitely trying to be as positive as I can be whilst not getting my hopes up too much either. Is an almost impossible balancing act it's exhausting!
My scan is with NHS up at the EPU in Antrim hospital- I was referred by my GP as she has been great in supporting last loss and this pregnancy so far. Really does seem to be pot luck ok terms of what GP will do. Fingers crossed for everyone these next few days and weeks 🤞🤞🤞🌈🌈🌈

@Sp1odge hiya, hugs for the anniversary. Our first loss was due on our wedding anniversary - doh! We took holiday for the week and tried to stay busy with outings. Hard to do with lockdown.

My gp said she wasn't able to refer to EPU unless I had pain or bleeding so I booked a private scan. Prices drop to £45 at 8wks so I don't feel too guilty about the cost.

@Geyser33 agree about the balancing act being exhausting!

Morning
Just wondering if any of you are telling close family or friends
I'm 6 weeks tomorrow and lost my last pregnancy at 7+4
My husband knows but not sure about telling my mum as feel I dont want to jinx it somehow

@ElmtreeMama I'm a terrible over-sharer in everyday life. With each of my pregnancies, I've told my best mate the same day I found out. With our first pregnancy we ended up telling work at 7 weeks (after an early scan) because it affected my role at work. We told family at that point too. 2nd pregnancy we decided to wait until 12 weeks to tell family, although a couple of people at work had to be told. We had a scan at 8wks and all looked OK but then lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks (dated as 9wks). We told family about the loss as unfortunately I was quite ill and it was hard as they hadn't even known we were expecting. I also never showed them the scan, which felt strange. Last time I planned to tell them after 8wk scan but started bleeding a couple of days before. Same weird scenario - told them I had been pregnant but wasn't now. This time I told family about a week after we found out. Its tricky because, if things go wrong, having to go and individually tell each person is really tough so the more people there are then the more of that there is. However, I'd also hate to feel like I was going through my losses in secret - I think that would break me. Only one person at work knew until last week but I'm now under pressure to tell my line manager. We'll see what scan at weekend shows.

@PurpleRaven777 I'm exactly the same - a total over sharer! Three friends know and my brother. The way I see it is if it goes wrong I would be telling them what had happened anyway. I'm starting a new job soon and I think I'll have to tell them as my job has some risks associated with it. I might have an 8 week scan for that reason.

Hi everyone, hope you're all well.
I'm 4+5 today and over the moon. I had an early miscarriage in 2018 and split from my husband as a result (he didn't want the baby). I'm now with an amazing partner and we are over the moon at our news. I'm just terrified something will go wrong due to my previous pregnancy however and I'm finding this whole experience really tough and emotional when I feel I should be enjoying it!
Has anyone else felt this way? I keep panicking that I'll start bleeding with it being so early.
I'm guessing hormones are really playing with my emotions but it's been a rollercoaster already!

Welcome @Mayleigh89 you're in good company! I think we all feel that way on this thread. I constantly feel that I'm about to start bleeding, I can totally relate. A combination of hormones and worry is making me a right grumpy cow. Have been ignoring dh - raging with him one minute, feel like crying the next! It certainly is a rollercoaster.... it's a waiting game really.

What helps me is knowing I'm doing everything I can and the rest isn't up to me. I try and just take it one day at a time otherwise I am overwhelmed by fear.

Can I please join too? I'm 6 weeks 5 days, after loss discovered at 12 week scan (baby stopped growing just after our 8 week scan where we heard 170bpm heartbeat). Ugh christmas was bleak... I'm very happy to be expecting again! I'm 35 and very ready for a baba. I have a scan tomorrow, private, internal and literally cannot wait. I know it won't guarantee anything even if it's super positive but i will be scanning every 2 weeks to make the wait more manageable. Our miscarriage was a complete surprise- zero pain, zero bleeding. I had minimal symptoms and similar this time round but my mum was the same and a lot of women online say symptoms don't equal security. I will definitely update you tomorrow how the scan went. Mumsnet saved my sanity in December after my surgical procedure. We're in it together and understand how challenging the journey is! Baby dust yo all x

So sorry to hear that really hoping scan goes well tomorrow keep us posted xxxx

@mia2201good luck today, let us know how it goes. Apparently my main symptom is waking at 3am! Thank god for mumsnet!

@mia2201 Good luck with your scan today! I'm jealous you're planning to scan every 2wks - think hubby might divorce me if I suggested that He thinks I'm a bit nuts getting one at 8wks when it doesn't change the outcome.

@Mayleigh89 I'm still checking for blood with every toilet visit - think it's never going to be easy getting over that fear that it might happen again.

@Tweaker I woke up at half 2 and had to pee but the night before I woke up at 430am for no reason. I'd forgotten the random night waking until then - man I hate that!

I should be 8 wks today and that's when I started bleeding last time so I'm not sure how I'm going to get any work done today. I had a bit of a wobble on Sunday when my symptoms disappeared for a bit but they seem to be back now so I'm trying to stay positive. Pregnant until proven otherwise!

Bit nervous today. I feel like my symptoms have gone.... boobs feel fine,maybe a bit bigger, no nausea, feeling pretty good. I want to be feeling awful! I really hope it's not a bad sign.

@Tweaker Oh I hate the doubt! It's still pretty early for symptoms though right?

The midwives rang earlier to book my first appointments and scan. I wish it got my as excited as it used to but these days I just wonder if I'll even make it to the appointment. Ah well, I've mostly made it through today without being too crazy..... 🤣