Pregnant after loss thread- November 2021

[Sallyjo27]

Hi all, I’m currently 4 weeks pregnant after 4 previous miscarriages. I don’t really have any symptoms other than boobs a bit sore and nipples sensitive. I’m on clexane injections, cyclogest and aspirin as all the tests they’ve run have found nothing wrong. Is anyone else due in November after loss? I thought it would be a nice idea to have a thread where we can all chat and share our journeys x

Hello all! Hope everyone is having a great day, we certainly enjoyed the sunshine today and had a lovely afternoon in the garden with some friends- snacks galore and now I'm in the bath trying to relax my racing mind. Basically I'm having zero symptoms and it was the same last time and I'm finding it so hard believing this will work, i look at myself from a friend's perspective song know i should be more positive and symptoms don't guarantee anything but isn't morning sickness proved to be a sign of healthy pregnancy. I developed an unhealthy habit of googling all day long, reading stories on forum and it's getting me down. I know I'm in a good position - good recent scan, only one miscarriage, no pain, no bleeding but with the missed miscarriage experience i was so blindsided I'm absolutely petrified it's happening again in the background. First trimester is so hard... My husband is getting excited and I think it made me hide in my shell a little today. He's the sweetest future dad 💝

Just noticed purpleraven is going through the same today! I hear you sister xx

@Tweaker yes you're right it's definitely better to just focus on the present. I'm a lot better at that than I used to be but sometimes slip back to old habits and it feels tiring constantly redirecting my brain!

@mia2201 Glad you had a nice day in the sun. The weather here was glorious! While there are some links that indicate morning sickness gives you a better probability of a good outcome, I think it's only significant about week 9 or so. Even then it's still only a probability and plenty people with little to no sickness go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies. I'd concentrate more on the fact that your little bean had a good heartbeat on your scan - that fact alone decreases your risks a fair chunk. By 8wks you're down to less than 5% risk of miscarriage, which means over 95% chance of having a successful pregnancy (I may also be an over-researcher, lol!)

Thank you honey! I'm over researcher here too haha, thank you for reminding me the stats 😘 i think I'm particularly scared this week as the last baby stopped developing at 8wks 3d and I'm 8 weeks one day today. It had such a strong heartbeat too, I'm still so sad we lost it. Like I came to terms with it but this week is bringing up a lot of emotions. Deep breaths and deep baths it is. This thread is so valuable. I think of our little tribe so often and rooting for you all from the bottom of my heart! X

I've also seen a post on instagram the other day saying 'remember this is where you wanted to be'. Reminded me to be grateful for being pregnant, that's all I wanted from the beginning of the year and i got another chance so I'm trying to pull myself together and think happy thoughts!

@mia2201 totally get it. Our second pregnancy ended around 9wks and I'd had a good scan at 8w4d. That was the time I came down with chickenpox though so I'm hoping not to have that for a third time! Knowing my luck it'll be fricking covid - face-palm! I've given myself 'permission' to book another scan in a couple of weeks and I'm trying to chill until then.

Such a shock what you think everything's going well and then you find out it all ended so soon after. I walked about not knowing for full 4 weeks being so proud how well it's all going. Weirdly i developed a full blown pityriasis rosea which is an acute rash straight after my miscarriage but i had the 'herald patch' around when the baby died. They're not quite sure what starts the infection but i was so terribly stressed at work that time and i think my immune system must have been weak. I'll never know whether it was all connected but there's a small study claiming women suffering from pityriasis rosea in the first trimester are more likely to miscarry. Who knows! We all react differently to infections...

This is exactly why part of me resists the idea of an early scan - it doesn't guarantee anything. I think sadly, for me, an early scan is so that I find out any bad news sooner rather than later. I'm mc was at 9 weeks so an early scan wouldn't have made any difference. Sorry, that sounds so negative
Today I've had on and off nausea but nothing else, although my injuries are kind of masking everything else! It's hard to distract yourself don't you find? No matter what I do, the pregnancy is always at the back of my mind.

Hi everyone hope it's ok if I join in! I'm 37 & pregnant for the third time after a ruptured ectopic in 2017 & a mc at home last May.

I'm 7 weeks today & had a scan at EPU on Thursday which showed the heartbeat, never felt so relieved in my life! I know there's a long way to go but I will say this pregnancy is so different from my last 2 already.

I have alllll the symptoms, aching boobs, weeing every 5 minutes, constant nausea & vomited a few times, just want to sleep. But I'm enjoying every second of it!

I had already booked a private scan for this Sunday coming before I had my scan at the hospital so I'm debating whether to push it back a couple of weeks. My partner couldn't come into hospital so I'd really like him to get a chance to see a scan for himself.

Wishing everyone a happy & healthy journey

@mia2201 I've never even heard of that one! Well fingers crossed we all stay healthy toys time. I might have to start bathing my toddler in disinfectant ;) We call him "the petri dish"... 🤣

@Tweaker negative or not, there's definitely an element of that in having early scans. For me, the not knowing is almost harder than bad news. I'd still like to book another scan after the 9wk mark so I know we made it past that milestone but I'm hoping I can make it to more like 11 before I go too crazy!

@JackJack84 Hi and congrats! One of my best friends had a ruptured ectopic - it sounded really rough. Glad early scan went well. Wish I shared your enjoyment of the constant nausea 🤣

@PurpleRaven777 thank you! Yeah the ectopic was hard, especially as the hospital misdiagnosed it as a mc for 3 days. They scanned me prior to discharge & that's when they saw a huge haemorrhage in my pelvis & I was in emergency surgery within an hour. What made it worse was I actually worked in that hospital! I ended up leaving the following year due to how I was treated. But onwards & upwards!

Yeah I'm totally weird for loving it but to me it means good things are happening. Ask me again in a few weeks & I might be feeling differently

Hi all. Hope you are all OK. I've been quietly reading for the past few days. I'm 35 and currently 6w6d. The odd bit of nausea and sore boobs but nothing huge. I was really quite sick with my little boy (now 3) but can't quite remember when it kicked off.

Weve been trying for about a year for this baby. I had a MMC last July followed by an early loss in October. With my MMC we had an early scan at 8 weeks, they saw a heartbeat but baby was only measuring at 6 weeks. We went back two weeks later and the heart had stopped and baby was still only measuring 6 weeks. I ended up having two lots of medical management a week later, so when I would have been about 11 weeks. Those 3 weeks were awful of just not knowing. Well you guys know how it is.

I think like an early scan but not sure when to have one. I was thinking maybe 7.5 weeks then at least we'll see if there's been growth after 6 weeks. Maybe I should wait a bit later though so its definitely long enough to show a heartbeat 🤷‍♀️ I have so much anxiety though just just at the thought of a scan, I can just feel panic at the thought of it. On the other hand though because my body hung on so long before after there was no heartbeat I'd rather just now about it sooner rather than later of its going end up down that route.

Does anyone have any advice/thoughts of the best time, whether I should just hold out or anything really. If I book one I think it'll have to be a last minute thing so I don't work myself up too much x

@JackJack84 that's so rubbish. Surely a scan is always part of the diagnosis?! How on earth did they miss it? My friend is a nurse and I think she avoided going in until it got serious. Did you have to have a blood transfusion? I had one after my first miscarriage, as I had a haemorrhage, and now apparently I have weird blood antibodies I am finding the nausea easier to cope with now I know it's definitely a baby and not some mean trick my body was playing!

@KG1145 Welcome! For scan timings I went entirely by budget - sorry know that sounds cold! Our local place drops the prices at 8wks, which seems to be about the earliest you can do a TA ultrasound (thru the tummy) rather than TV (up the whatsits!). That seemed a good decider for me. I guess the other question is, assuming the scan is good news, would you feel more reassured to be past the point you were scanned before? If not, would you feel able to pay out for more scans? If not, then I always think on the later side is better as it feels slightly more manageable waiting for the NHS dating scan. I was super anxious before my scan at the weekend. I had to go on my own and had a bit of a panic attack and a cry while waiting - thankfully face mask covered most of my look of terror! 😂

Hi All 🙋‍♀️ I hope it’s okay to join? Currently 6 weeks pregnant after a MMC in January at 12 weeks. I’m absolutely petrified that it’s going to happen again! How on earth do you stop worrying?! X

@Fayezp1210 hiya, if you find out how to stop worrying, please let us all know! 😂

I'm now officially as far along as I was when we had our first MC so that's feeling a bit raw this morning. Probably watch my scan video several times today 🙈

@PurpleRaven777 Oh isn’t it awful! I’ve been trying to ignore it as horrible as that sounds! I don’t want to let myself get carried away with the idea!

I had a few early scans last time and everything was brilliant, so I just couldn’t believe that we had a loss! I’m going to sit tight (try) this time and not have any! X

@Fayezp1210 I admire your restraint! I just got the appointment letter through for my "12" week scan when I'll be 13w2d - 30 days to fret through so think I'll book another scan 🙈

Also rest of the "gang", I yesterday found you can hire your own ultrasound machine - thankfully it's expensive enough to discourage this new level of crazy 🤣🤣🤣

@PurpleRaven777 It feels like forever waiting for that 12 week one! I haven’t even called the midwife yet ha!
I have a follow up appointment with the gynaecologist tomorrow about the last loss, so I’m going to tell him and see what he says!

If I had the money I’d get that machine 😂

@PurpleRaven777 my first 2 scans weren't done by a sonographer & she only looked at my uterus. The last scan was done by a sonographer & she picked up the bleed. Yeah I had a transfusion but luckily no ill effects from it.

It's funny all this talk about scans, we have an ultrasound machine at work as we scan arteries in the neck, I've been so tempted to scan myself but that would open a whole can of worms so I daren't

@Fayezp1210 I've self-referred to midwife team for the last 2 pregnancies but last time didn't even get as far as making an appointment. I'm due to have blood taken this weekend and the first appointment on 23rd, but it's by phone. It feels hard to plan all these things, not knowing if I'll even get that far!

@JackJack84 Hahaha I can only imagine your colleagues' reactions if they walked in! Ultrasound is pretty cool as a technique - my son has had to have his veins hunted for a few times and he has regular echos too. I didn't have any bad effects from the transfusion, they just said I'd be a git to crossmatch now. I think they're hoping it'll disappear with time - who knows! I'm bummed I can't give blood or be an organ donor now :(

@PurpleRaven777 At my booking appointment with the Midwife last time, she was asking all sorts! How I would like to give birth etc, I truly got carried away with it all so this time I’m going to politely ask her not to talk about that yet!

Let’s keep absolutely everything crossed that this time we will make it! 🤞

Morning all, I'm in the pits of anxiety again. On Monday i had some bright pink discharge only on wiping, yesterday it turned milky pink and now its brown. Never on underwear just when wiping. I've spoken to gp and epu who said they don't need to see me as it's common. So disheartening not getting reassurance, they say it's common at 8 weeks. I just wanted to scream so is miscarriage :( anyway it's not getting any worse or red so I'm keeping everything crossed and booked myself at the private ultrasound place for Friday. Today I'm officially where my last baby stopped growing. I knew this week would be hard but this is something else. We did have sex that morning so i hope the afternoon spotting was caused by that - sensitive cervix hopefully. Praying the heartbeat will still be there, i know it could go either way and it should be fine. Hope you're all well xxx

@mia2201 argh that's so annoying that they won't see you. I know it can be totally normal but it's not entirely reassuring after a loss. I will keep everything crossed that it's just from sensitive cervix as you suggest. Glad you've managed to get a private scan for Friday - not too long to wait at least. Sending big hugs xx

@mia2201

Morning all, I'm in the pits of anxiety again. On Monday i had some bright pink discharge only on wiping, yesterday it turned milky pink and now its brown. Never on underwear just when wiping. I've spoken to gp and epu who said they don't need to see me as it's common. So disheartening not getting reassurance, they say it's common at 8 weeks. I just wanted to scream so is miscarriage :( anyway it's not getting any worse or red so I'm keeping everything crossed and booked myself at the private ultrasound place for Friday. Today I'm officially where my last baby stopped growing. I knew this week would be hard but this is something else. We did have sex that morning so i hope the afternoon spotting was caused by that - sensitive cervix hopefully. Praying the heartbeat will still be there, i know it could go either way and it should be fine. Hope you're all well xxx

Oh lovely I'm sure is nothing at all to be worried about and if it was they would I have asked you to go straight in for check up. Totally understand any spotting is anxiety provoking especially after previous losses. Hope this spotting has stopped now and you are ok? Sending big hugs xx

@mia2201 I'm not surprised you're feeling incredibly anxious. One more day then you'll know for sure. Until then, there's nothing you can do - you have done everything you possibly can so now we just wait. I know how hard it is. I don't think a single second passes without me thinking about it and hoping for the best/worrying something's about to go wrong. I hope everyone's doing ok today. I feel very nauseous still but I'm not complaining. I'll take symptoms any day! I'm thinking of you all. We are in it together.