Jan/Feb 2021 fertility treatment BFP ladies

[cher1981]

Just making a new thread so we can keep chatting :)

@cher1981 definitely not just you. We haven’t had sex since around Christmas time 🙈. I’m going to talk to the midwife about it at my appointment tomorrow. The pessaries don’t help but also I feel so sick and tired most of the time that I really can’t think of anything I want to do less!

I feel like I can only talk to you guys about this but does anyone else just feel really low? I feel like I want to just stay in bed. I feel so sick most of the time and have no energy but then I feel guilty for not doing anything and it makes me feel worse. I cleaned out a couple of kitchen cupboards yesterday and was pooped after! I can’t face food prep so my OH is doing it all. Luckily he enjoys cooking so I don’t think he minds but he also cleaned the bathrooms yesterday and mopped the floors bless him. I actually feel like I’m almost bordering on depression. This is not the picture everyone paints of pregnancy and I actually feel a little lonely.

@cher1981 I have to be very honest.. I would LOVE to have sex 🤭😅 but one time we did it at 5wks I had a bleed so it's a no no atm especially with my cervix issues.
@MF1981 I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way. From experience after 12 weeks your energy levels should pick up, lockdown will be over ( fingers crossed!) and hopefully you'll start to feel less lonely. My husband is also doing EVERYTHING atm including working and looking after our 5 year old who thanks heaven goes to school tomorrow.
When you don't feel well with sickness and other issues it's difficult to keep the spirits up I completely understand... don't feel guilty, do whatever your body makes you feel good and if that is being in bed all the time- well enjoy it whilst you can!! I find it that binge watching Netlix series sometimes help to forget everyting!

Thanks you've made me feel less prissy about the sexual sitch.

@MF1981 I'm right there with you. I can't remember the last day I didn't cry or feel emotional and a bit down. I feel nauseous a lot and keep trying to do bits, but have to sit down inbetween. Plus, I'm being awful with OH, everything he says or does just makes me snap and I know I'm being horrid.. ugh! I was going to discuss it with the maternity support team but it does seem like this is 'normal'. And if one person tells me to 'just relax'

@cher1981 it’s not just you! I’m like @Doremifasol and would actually like to because it’s been so long, but on the other hand my nausea puts me off and I’m too scared of causing any problems (I’m sure it would be fine but I’m over cautious about everything just now). Luckily my DH isn’t that bothered about waiting as he’s nervous about it too- also he’s scared that if he does then he’ll absorb some of the progesterone I’m taking and end up with female hormones, I did say I don’t think it works like that 🤣

@MF1981 I don’t think it’s just you, although it sounds like you’re having a particularly hard time. Try not to feel guilty, it’s not that you’re not doing anything, you’re growing 2 humans! Does exercise help at all? A walk today and some fresh air was helpful for me. And the rest of the time I watch a lot of tv to keep my mind off things. If it’s not a working day and staying in bed helps you then I say do it, and if it gets too much to cope with work then you could probably get signed off as well. I think Doremifasol makes a good point that things should be a bit better after 12 weeks, hang in there. And post here any time you want to talk through your feelings if it helps.

I feel pretty low at times and have had some weird thoughts, I was really down yesterday but that was after more issues with my mum that is a big uninteresting story I won’t derail the thread with. I love food and especially in lockdown when there’s so little to do having food treats used to cheer me up, so the nausea gets me down as there’s so little that I can bear to eat. We got a takeaway last night and I tried a taste of everything but then mostly just ate the plain white rice. But on the other hand I’m happy to have symptoms because it is a sign things could still be going OK in there. It’s an emotionally confusing time!

@MF1981, @Folklore9074 & @kikisparks thanks for your replies.

Had my blood test for HCG this morning and am now anxiously waiting for the result. This is madness, I am a lunatic, the home tests have been getting progressively darker since 9dp5dt and todays test line was darker than the control, in any other circumstance I would feel secure in this but us IVF ladies get to have the blood test result too. Then his mother with her weekly "when are you going back to Harley St?" question in her phone call. I want to tell her that we will tell her when we have news and to stop asking as it is adding pressure but OH wont let me, nor will he say anything to her. We have agreed not to tell anyone until after the scan which is in 2 weeks, will be hard not to tell my mum though, but she wont directly ask either. The clinic wont let him come due to covid which he is really disappointed about and I feel this is the first thing he is actively missing out on. now debating whether is it better to go alone or together and he waits in the car or if they might let me video call him from the scan room. so worry 1 is the blood result- i think i can rule out a chemical pregnancy now, given the lines darkening on the tests,, worry 2 is ectopic, but
the nurse said they can tell from the blood test too. The a brief period of calm and happiness until the nerves set in on the wait for the scan. Will we ever enjoy this process?

The meds situation is ok now too, Pharmasure have my prescription and will call me to arrange delivery later. They haven't called me yet so I will call them about 4.30 to ask. I couldn't be bothered with Asda, the only think they were cheaper on before was human growth hormone, £300 cheaper too! But most of my meds are pills now and we have spent so much money, we also moved house, that I have given up. I feel like I might as well drive along the road throwing money at people.

@Sunbird24 i understand what you mean, anything makes me feel panicky right now. But the Spermicide back did make me chuckle.

@calmcat Interesting that you had an HCG test, my clinic didn't offer that. But I got a strong positive and then consistent strong tests up until last Wednesday when I decided I'd found out as much as I could by peeing on sticks!

I emailed my clinic this morning to ask if my partner could come to the scan later this week and was told he couldn't be in the room but could wait close by. I'm so scared its going to be bad news and if so I'll need him to be close by for support. There is also a fair chance it won't be bad news and in that case he is missing out. Its really tough isn't it? Maybe get your OH to wait in the car? Just thinking that if its not good news then you don't want to be going home on your own.

I think we might start telling family after the scan, if everything is okay. Feels like such a big if. I know symptoms can fluctuate and I'm probably reading too much into everything. Felt a touch sick last night and today which has relaxed me a bit. My big worry is that there is nothing there and everything I think I've felt is just in my head. IVF really does send you crazy doesn't it?

@folklore9074 yes I think he is going to wait in the car, although we just had a row about it. I agree completely it is worst case that he is simply missing out if all is well but if all is not well I will be in central London in an unfit state to drive home.
I agree about waiting for the scan to tell people, at least then we are over the first few hurdles at least.
I am not counting the progesterone related symptoms because we are taking it not producing it, so things like swollen sore boobs, but i am taking note of HCG related ones like feeling a bit sick when i start feeling hungry and weeing a lot. So your nausea sounds positive if you see what i mean.
I'm still waiting for this call from the clinic........ i bet its tomorrow i get the call now.

I’ve not had a blood test either - good job that’s not something we can self-test otherwise we’d all be doing that daily too! 😂

@Folklore9074 that’s odd. I had a scan today and the fertility clinic allowed my partner in because the rules have changed? Must be varying interpretations.

Thankfully my scan went well and baby is measuring to the day again. I got a plan to slowly taper off my hormones after 10 weeks and have been discharged to ‘big school’. Oh it’s so strange. Also had a vets appointment for my oldest cat whose been struggling with oral cancer for a while, and found out he will likely need putting to sleep in a couple of weeks time. The highs and the lows of life eh.

Glad to hear baby is measuring right again @cher1981, bet that’s a relief!

Sorry to hear about DCat though

@calmcat good luck for your HCG result. A line darker than control sounds like a really good sign. They don’t do blood tests at my clinic but I was a bit obsessed with the testing and line progression for over a week. I feel less of a need to test now as I’m so nauseous every day. Glad you got your meds.

@Folklore9074 good luck for your scan later in the week! I can do empathise with worrying it’s all in your head, I do that too. It’s a bit different but I was so worried it was all in my head before my laparoscopy for endometriosis and it was actually such a relief that they found it.

@cher1981 great news about your scan! But sorry about your cat

That’s really a shame for those whose partners can’t come to the scan, the pandemic has a lot to answer for. My letter said DH can come but I’m worried it’s wrong or will change as he hasn’t been able to come to anything else. If he can’t come I’d just have him wait in the car so that’s what I’d suggest..

Hi all. Can I join?
I've just had my scan a few days ago measuring one day behind at 7+2. I've now officially been discharged to NHS maternity. We got lucky in our first fresh cycle early February after ten years TTC.
I'm feeling pretty nauseous the last few days. Sweet things (chocolate, ice cream) seem to make me quite ill and I'm just very tired. How are you all feeling?

I just had total mind melt, followed by huge panic think I forgot my 8pm Ultrogestan progesterone tablets, it was literally 8.30pm and I couldn't remember if I took them 30 mins before. Ended up calling the emergency number for my clinic, felt so stupid but they were kind. Im on 3 types of progesterone (crinone gel 2x a day, lentogest IM injections every other day and 6 ultrogestan tablets ( 2 at 8am, 2pm, 8pm). Nurse said im covered by the other progesterones and not to take the missed ones in case im doubling up, but im still panicking. OH just ordered me a pill box with days on. We used to have an app where you could mark youd taken a dose but they stopped it last week, its screwed me. Im going to bed with my relaxation app now, so stressed.
Whats most alarming is that I couldn't remember 30 mins before. Is this the start of baby brain?
Also think I missed a progynova estrogen at same time ,but thats only 1 oso im not so worried about that. I took the vaginal one, thats hard to forget but not the oral one, well maybe I did. Oh god im losing my mind.

@calmcat it’s not just you, the other day I took my morning pessary and went back to sleep, my DH came in later and said did you take your pessary? And I genuinely couldn’t remember and started panicking that I hadn’t. The reason I now know I did was that once I got up all the wax came back out as usual! It’s harder if it’s tablets, you’re right. My tablets have days of the week on the pack so I take them in that order so I’ll know if I miss one. I also have reminders set on my phone and DH set it up so the echo devices in my house do an announcement as well, I need all of this as I’m very easily distracted and forgetful. I’m sure the nurse will be right and your one missed tablet won’t make one iota of difference with all the other progesterone you’re on (sounds like a lot!) hope you got to sleep ok with your relaxation app.

@kikisparks thank you, yeah my clinic are known for a belt and braces approach on the progesterone, thank god though. I have a smart watch and alarms on my phone but still cocked it up. I didn't sleep well, worrying, OH was snoring and moving about alot too. I woke at 5am and took my crinone pessary early then the tablets at the normal time, i relaxed a bit after that knowing there was progesterone in my system. They called me at 8.45am with the HCG result, it is over 2000, which is good apparently and i have a the scan on 22nd, 2 weeks of trying to chill now. They also said my proesterone was good at 100 (not sure what the unit of measurement is) so i feel less stressed about the missed dose as its not like i had a low result and then forgot a dose, Now i know my blood level i am not so worried about POAS every day. I think i might treat myself to a night in the spare bed with the cat tonight, less snoring! Just the 6am prod in the face with a paw for a cuddle but that's cute.

@lilomum welcome, i am really new too, this chat thread is really good and the comments are helpful. Congratulations on being 7+2 that is lovely to hear.

@cher1981 so sorry to hear about your cat - I know how upsetting that can be. What have the clinic said re weaning off your drugs? Mine just have said stop when I run out but no plan to taper off which I find weird as I had to slowly increase them in the first place. I had my first midwife appointment and she said I needed to speak to my clinic about it.

@lilomum Hello, welcome and congratulations :) We were ttc for 10 years too so it's a lot to get our heads around finally being here! How are you coping with the emotional aspect of it all? I've gone off chocolate too which is shocking for me ha.

@MF1981 The plan is from week 10 to reduce to 1 pessary a night for a week, to 1 every other night and then stop completely at week 12. While for oestrogen at 10 weeks take 3 tablets for 4 days, then 2 tablets for 4 days and finally 1 tablet for 6 days. I would definitely speak with the clinic about it for reassurance.

@calmcat Sounds like things are more positive and that's an excellent beta result!

Thank you all for your thoughts about my Frank (cat), he's 15 now and has been the best boy we could have asked for. It's going to be hard but it's definitely time for him to say goodbye

@cher1981 sending love to you and Frank, its so sad but take some comfort that you can do this final kindness for him, I completely understand how you feel x

@lilomum that’s amazing after 10 years TTC, congrats! I’m pretty nauseous every day at the moment, trying to eat a plain diet with ice lollies and boiled sweets to curb it but I’ve had lots of other gastrointestinal issues maybe due to my diet being now pretty crap! Any strong smelling foods really set me off, but I quite like tangy flavours like tomatoes and oranges.

Has/ did anyone set up their midwife booking appointment before their viability scan at the clinic? I was just going to wait until after my scan in case it’s not good news, but I also don’t want to delay too much in case it’s something I should be arranging now? My clinic hasn’t said anything about it.

@cher1981 I called my clinic this morning and they just said once I get to 10 weeks to just stop all medication. No tapering off. Nothing. Just stop. Seems strange to me.

@kikisparks my clinic advised me to inform my GP once I got a positive test result which I did and they said the midwife booking in appt usually takes place around 8 weeks so they booked me an appt. I had the booking in appt on Monday at 8+2.

@kikisparks I phoned the midwives on my OTD as I wanted something to plan towards/focus on/try and make the time pass faster (that didn't work!). I had my viability scan last week, after which they said to now call the midwives...
My booking in appointment is on Friday (I'll be 8+1), and I'd be worried they'd be busy so I would have to wait longer if I didn't call them early.
Realistically, from what I remember from last time the booking appointment is just a lot of paperwork so I don't think having it a couple of weeks earlier or later makes any difference.

I'm having quite a lot of nausea, eating plain rice crackers which taste like cardboard but seem to momentarily help. Not that I'm wishing time away or anything, but I'm really looking forward to reaching the second trimester. It's still ages away though!

Last time I booked my midwife call for a couple of days after my scan, and then had to cancel it at short notice, so this time I’m waiting til I’ve seen the bean - especially as there may be two! Figured that may be useful for the midwife to know.

@Sunbird24 we got quite a way through my appointment before I remembered and said oh I should probably have told you I’m having 2! Baby brain already!

@MF1981 haha you've made me giggle! Just a minor thing to forget- I'm having two😂

I had my booking appointment on Monday but ended up not 'booking' in due to my diagnosis of threatening miscarriage. I've told midwife I would rather do it once I know more, she was lovely and arranged for another scan on Monday. I hope to know more. From what I've read there is a chance I could have cervical cerclage at 12weeks. Whatever it takes!!!
Other than that... anyone else starving hungry? I mean this is insane, I am constantly in the fridge, I feel so big and I was slightly overweight before ( lockdown!!!). Wish I could exercise or at least go for a walk, atm I was told to remain at home, lots of relaxing time etc...