Jan/Feb 2021 fertility treatment BFP ladies

[cher1981]

Just making a new thread so we can keep chatting :)

@kikisparks @MF1981 @cher1981

We've not told family yet (I'm 6+1 today) its just too soon and I feel like anything could happen. Its kind of good to see that you are all feeling the same (ie not jinxing it!) and that its not just me being overly anxious.

I've not had any previously bad experiences but after the whole 2.5 year drama of infertility and IVF it seems sensible to keep it to ourselves for a bit. My partner wants to wait till 12 weeks, I'd be happy at 8 or 10 for family, 12 weeks for friends. He is being really supportive but also cautious, we are just holding out breath for the scan next Thursday.

I'm on x3 progynova and x3 lutigest until week 12. Do you not have to be on them until week 12 as well @cher1981? Not sure if it is doing anything to my mood, when I first started on lutigest it made me really drowsey with very vivid dreams but since the BFP that has eased off and my sleep has been a bit rubbish with needing to pee twice a night.

I'm still a bit worried about not feeling much in the way of symptoms today compared to previous days but also trying to "relax" and not to drive myself crazy going down google holes!

@kikisparks I keep adding the words 'if everything goes okay' onto the end of every sentence pregnancy related! We've told parents and a small group of close friends who were absolutely chuffed for us. I just want to get to 12 weeks so bad, it feels like an absolute age away! How do people cope waiting for scans that long?!

@kikisparks Also, my partner was initially freaked but now is quite relaxed about it but has gone off on one saying we must buy a tumble dryer asap?!

@Folklore9074 My fertility clinic said at the last scan (6 week one day) that all being well next time they could take me off the meds as everything looked fine. Naturally one part of my brain is now thinking, no it's too soon and you will be doomed!

It’s official test day today, and this is the strongest one yet! I think I’m starting to get a little bit excited, and that scares me...

Super strong @Sunbird24 !!!

That’s a great line @Sunbird24! Sorry to hear what happened last time, I can understand why you don’t want to tell anyone yet.

@cher1981 haha that’s funny about a tumble dryer, I guess he’s thinking about all the baby clothes? I know what you mean about waiting for scans, such a long wait. Do you get a midwife booking appointment before 12 weeks?

@Folklore9074 my DH doesn’t want to tell anyone until 12 weeks either. My parents already know, but I was speaking to them for support throughout the whole process and will tell them if things don’t work out anyway. They know about my 2 miscarriages so they get that I’m really nervous. Probably won’t tell anyone else til 12 weeks assuming we get that far.

I’m so tired today, just really could go back to bed, even though I’m going to bed early every night and sleeping a long time as well. So glad it’s Friday. I’m waking up every day with cramps which is so scary but TMI it seems to be my digestion as after I go to the loo they go away, I’m always thinking the worst though.

@sunbird24 Wow! I can't remember the last time I saw a line as strong as that.

@kikisparks I actually had a phone call from the community midwife team asking me to go to hospital next Friday for a maternity support worker appointment? I think they will run through my obs and take a history. I'll be 8 week 5 days then.

I had some more brown spotting yesterday after going for a brisk walk which unnerved me. I've noticed it tends to happen after energetic walks (whispers... and having a poo) and am going to mention it to the fertility team on Monday.

@cher1981 thank you! I had them that strong with the previous attempt, but it is possible this is twins... Sounds like you’ve still got some old blood left in there and a bit of it manages to escape when you do anything that gives your cervix a nudge. It’s good that the team are looking out for you!

When do we ever get to just relax and enjoy this... 🤦‍♀️

@Sunbird24 I know, right? I thought that when I got pregnant I'd be running through fields with panpipe music playing and the world would be a beautiful, relaxing place - instead a whole other world of worries has appeared! I have the 12 week mark in my head as a point I can just let myself go and enjoy it more. Eeesh!

Brilliant lines @Sunbird24! Congratulations!
I seem to be in the minority- I've told all my on my side of the family and parents in law right after OTD 🙈 we're just so excited. We're planning on telling the rest of the family after tomorrow's scan at 7+3. I feel I'm happy to tell happy news to those people early that I'd be telling if I had a loss anyway. Outside of family we're planning on not saying anything until at least 12 weeks.
Looking at what everyone else is saying, we seem to definitely be in the minority with that though

Hi All, is it ok if I join, I have been lurking but too scared to post. I am 42 and currently 10dp5dt since FET with donor eggs with a BFP since day 8. It has really helped me to read your posts.

I haven't posted as last time, when we unexpectedly conceived naturally when I was 40 we lost it very soon after so I am being overly superstitious this time.

In the 18 months since then we have been through 2 rounds of IVF, all our embryos were genetically abnormal. So we joined a donor list and found a match, we now have 4 blastocysts left in the freezer.

I don't have anyone who understands this IVF world, my partner is basically terrified we will lose it and if I talk to him about any symptoms he just wont listen and says any symptom is not real because i know I'm pregnant as if it were a natural cycle i wouldn't know and would therefore not feel anything, which really p*sses me off. I have some symptoms and they are real. Not to mention his mum constantly asking "when are you going back to Harley St" our clinic is not even at Harley st...... We haven't told anyone yet and i don't want to until we get past the first early scan. My mum knows we have been through FET but rightly or wrongly I feel it is different that i have told my mum, its not the same as telling his mum. He is not close to his mum either. It my mums i go to for support.

My official test date from the clinic is Tuesday 9th (14dp5dt), my meds all run out on the 10th which is making me anxious. I know Pharmasure can courier them next day but leaving it all until the 9th feels too risky, what if something is out of stock due to brexit import laws or something. I now have a work commitment I cannot move on the 9th- we are a company of 5 people so there really is nobody to delegate to. So I called the clinic to see if I could book my blood test in at 8am monday (the round trip/blood test in london is about 2.5 hours if i can get a early appointment) because a) I am testing positive - no question, 3 tests at 2 different sensitivities and all clearly positive I've tested FMU and then in the daytime with like 90 mins between wees, b) panic about the medicines running out as I need the progesterone.

Clinic said my BFP at 10dp5dt is too early but I can test again monday and call on monday for a same day blood test if it is positive - but an appointment any later than first thing means traffic and hours away from my desk- its all so stressful. Plus telling me its early has sent me into a spin that my BFP might suddenly disappear and my other half is hassling me to not do any tests until monday- he has no idea how hard this is. I thought i was being controlled by not testing today and planning to on saturday- so it is every other day, testing is the only thing that calms me.

I just needed to get all that off my chest. Sorry if i sound moany, i am thrilled about the BFP and feel so lucky, I cant believe it, but my other half is bringing me down, it is hard to feel elated when the person you are sharing it with is ignoring it all, and the call with the clinic has just pushed me over the edge, especially as I am also terrified we will lose this one too like last time.

Hi @calmcat, congratulations on your bfp! It is understandably an anxious time, and I really don't have any advice on how to make it any easier.
Regarding your symptoms and your partner saying you wouldn't know under normal circumstances - I had a natural FET so no medication, and I remain 100% convinced that I felt pregnant 2 days after transfer (sore breasts in a way that I've only ever had when I was pregnant with DD). I tested every day and got my bfp at 6dp5dt, so well done for holding out until today! I'm now 7+1, had the first scan and all good, but I think time will continue to tick by really slowly until the 12 week scan

@calmcat Hello there lovely! You don't sound moany at all. We all get it. These early days are nervous times when we all have wanted to be pregnant for so long, it's hard.

Congratulations on your BFP! I think most of us on this thread tested daily or every other day to begin with to reassure ourselves. Seeing that red line is such a boost and I found saying to myself 'Today, I am pregnant' helped me calm my busy mind.

It sounds like your OH's fear is making him act in a way that doesn't feel very supportive. I had days when I felt underwhelmed with my bloke's reaction, I think he was terrified too. He will come round and I'm sorry he's not being there as you'd like him to be :(

What are your symptoms? I know I initially had a feeling of fullness which made me think hmm!

Also, did you explain to the clinic about needing an early appointment due to your personal circumstances? If they know they might be able to accommodate it.

Glad to meet you and please do talk to us whenever you're feeling wobbly x

@cher1981 & @somethingfunny thank you for your replies, don't know why but they made me cry, I'm so emotional, i think its just because its lovely that you are nice and positive. I think we know our bodies don't we, unlike men.

My OH is utterly terrified, he had a MC with his ex at 9 weeks, then we had one at 7 weeks> He was so negative, from fear of losing it last time, that i was quite shocked, then we lost it. Our doc looked at OHs sperm and we ended up with IMSI after 3 months of no alcohol, cycling, hot baths and loads of vitamins, so that has hopefully fixed that. Combined with my old eggs were had a double issue. Our lovely donor is only 27 so that's good, i cant believe someone could be so kind and selfless. This morning in bed i rolled over and gasped in pain from a bruised injection site that i squashed- OH panicked, it is the only time i felt he really is involved.

I just want to enjoy it right now, I never thought I would see another BFP and I have and I want to feel special and happy whatever happens.

I kept a diary of my days post transfer and tried to ignore the progesterone related symptoms but i did have that fullness feeling. I am jacked up on prog pills, pessaries and injections. So my enlarged veiny boobs, crying, constipation, bloated-ness and mild crampy feelings I ignored. The ones i took notice of from about 4dp5dt were ones that hCG can cause like sense of smell increasing, in Morrisons i couldn't pack my shopping because of the aftershave the checkout guy had on, my other half did it all, plus weeing a lot and feeling really cold, plus fluttery feelings in my uterus and occasional mild nausea just enough to put me off eating, and i love eating! The thing that made me think i might be pregnant was a killer headache on 5dp5dt, like nothing I've had before, it was round my right eye socket and forehead and all down my face, i had to go to bed qt 4pm and i fell asleep for an hour, then the next day i felt sick eating my cheese toastie, i had to squeeze out the cheese and force the bread down. Plus the dog has been following me round and stopping the cat from sitting on me! I cant even wee without supervision.

I kind of gave up with the guy on the phone at the clinic, he was just being all "oh well its too early" and it made me feel panicked that i wasn't really pregnant and so i got off the phone quick. I naively expected him to say congratulations or something positive, I even asked to book Wednesday morning but that got the same response, they obviously don't let you book an appt til you get a PFP on their set day.

I held out from testing until the stress of not knowing overtook the fear of doing a test. I am going to test when i want to as its my body and i have to live in my own head and be able to focus on work- we are making a covid medicine so its all systems go. Tuesday cant be moved though.

Hi @calmcat to be honest I think you sound like most of us so you’re in good company! Not moany at all. And even if you were then you’re in the right place and you’re more than welcome to offload to us. In terms of your medication, I don’t know what you’re on but have the clinic already given you a prescription ready for a BFP? Mine did and I found that when I was ready for the medication my local Boots, Lloyds and Asda pharmacy all had them in stock so no waiting required. Hopefully that gives you a bit of reassurance.

@Sunbird24 Congrats! That is such a clear positive!

@calmcat Welcome to the group! Just on your meds, your clinic might actually have some in that you could pick up at the same time as your scan? Mine keep some in that you can go down and pick up if you happen to run out.

I am freaking out today. Massively.

After having all the symptoms in the world earlier this week I'm just feeling really bloody normal. I spent this morning lost in a google rabbit hole crying on the couch. My partner has sensibly made me promise to stop googling things.

I still have a few twinges, probably going to the toilet a bit more than normal but the difference between now and earlier in the week is massive and sending me off kilter.

I keep thinking maybe it's a missed miscarriage? Maybe a blighted ovum. Maybe everything I've felt is just the medication, even though I've done a lot of positive positive pregnancy tests at this point.

Logically I know that I can't know anything more really until next Thursday's viability scan. Planning to try and hold onto my sanity until then watching Friends, Mean Girls, Bridgerton - basically anything light and distracting!!

Rant over. Hope you are all having good days x

@Folklore9074 it’s so hard not to analyse everything isn’t it? I woke up feeling pretty normal yesterday and by lunchtime was feeling great! But then the nausea hit again big time and I felt awful again. I think it’s pretty normal for symptoms to come and go - Wednesday I had loads of energy but last night was asleep by 8pm.

@calmcat congrats on your BFP! All your concerns sound totally normal to me. I had the same reaction from my clinic when I told them I tested early, well she did say congratulations but also that they couldn’t consider it a positive until official test day. Hope you can get your medication easily enough.

@Folklore9074 sorry you’ve been worried about loss of symptoms, I did read it’s normal for them to come and go but it’s natural for us to get anxious too. Distracting yourself if you can is the way to go!

A bit of a funny story from today, my DH went to the shops and I asked him to get me some pantyliners as I’m trying to save my pants a bit from the pessary wax. He called me from the shop and I told him it’ll be the small, light packet. Well, guess what he came home with- a massive pack of nighttime incontinence pads! He said that’s all there was but it’s a reasonable size supermarket and I know he’s probably just been bamboozled and grabbed something, a minor frustration as I’ll need to go to the shops tomorrow but also I have to laugh!

I’m getting unreasonably frustrated with my mum, as I said before I told my parents and since then she has texted me every day (as opposed to the usual 1-2 times a week) and today I decided not to reply as I’m tired and want some breathing space, so she has called twice and sent me another text asking if I’m ok. Now I know that must sound awful of me, here is someone looking out for me and how lucky I am to have a mum around and who cares, and I’m sure she’s just worried about me, but it’s stressing me out because if she expects a text every day then if things don’t work out I’ll have to tell her straight away and we might want to sit with that privately for a while. Also the first time I miscarried she came and sat with me for a while and it was fine because I wanted that, but last time she insisted that her and my dad had to come over (this was when we were allowed in people’s houses but distanced), I asked them not to because I just wanted to be alone but she said please it would mean a lot to us so I let them come, but I feel kind of angry even now that she didn’t respect my feelings and what I wanted to do with my grief. There’s also more back story of controlling and suffocating behaviour but also I love her and get a lot of support from her. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t tell them this time around until 12 weeks as it’s just extra pressure I could do without. Sorry for the rant and sorry if I sound really mean and ungrateful. DH thinks I have real problems setting boundaries and I probably do as well.

@kikisparks your DH is funny! I know in my local supermarket the incontinence pads and the pantyliners are on neighbouring aisles for some reason, so he may never even have seen what you were after!

Now is a good time to start practicing setting boundaries with your mum, as she’ll only get worse...

@kikisparks oh dear my partner would probably do the same if i sent him! To be fair I don't think they keep panty liners and incontinence pads together in our local supermarket so it's probably easy to get confused.

On your mum... Are you able just to explain all this to her? Maybe if she understands that the constantness of her messages are getting to you she might back off a little? It sounds like its coming from a well meaning place but it's just a bit much.

I’ve just reported my pregnancy on my profile with the spermicide bank. Logically I know it makes no difference whatsoever to the outcome, but it still makes me feel panicky

Thank you autocarrot - that’s a sperm bank, not the other thing!! 🤦‍♀️

Question, is it just me that is worried about having sex right now? I haven’t put out (😂) since embryo transfer day and I think my fear is that it will cause more bleeding. It’s driving OH mad and I wondered if I’m being irrational 😩