👣 November/December babies 2020! 👣

[danielasummer]

Can't keep track of who has had their babies! - but here is a new thread for those who have had ours and those still waiting x

Feeling very down today. Baby slept well last night but she’s just had an hour meltdown and I went into the bathroom and cried. Just feels like Groundhog Day every single day. Stuck inside all day trying to entertain her and then maybe a walk if it isn’t totally shit weather outside.

Hi ladies, I've been lurking on this (and the previous one) thread since pre-babies time but only just plucked up the courage to join in.

I had my baby boy end of November (he's 10 weeks now) at nearly 37 weeks after a crazy 60 hour long labour and I'm not gonna lie, it's been a very rocky ride since. We've battled lots of allergies with a nasty reflux and are only just starting to come out the other side. Unfortunately it means I'm now on a diet of chicken, rice and veggies as he's EBF, but at least we can get some sort of sleep now, although he won't sleep more than 3 hours still, so am very jealous of you all getting longer stretches.

Anyway, the reason I've been following along for so long here is because during those tough days, it's been so helpful seeing there's others struggling too, so I just wanted to say thank you to all of you sharing your experiences, it has been so reassuring. I hope you don't mind me joining in now!

@peachypetite I feel you, I totally lost it over the weekend after another day of horrid reflux and constant crying, so hang in there. I find it helpful sometimes, if LO allows, to just get on with my day but take him with me in the carrier/on my shoulder. He's reasonably entertained watching me do day to day tasks, at least for a while.

@peachypetite sorry you are having a hard morning. It is tough... I hope things improve later on. Yes, I have done classes online but make sure that they are for my area so that once lockdown is lifted I will actually met the other mums I’m talking to (and for me I have found lots of people in the same position!) for me, it is worth it also just to talk about exactly the sort of thing you’ve just posted about and have others say they have been through the same. We are all going through lockdown at the same time with babies and it sucks for everyone. X

Hi @Yellowbeansontoast! I had a 60 hour labour too (well, from the start of contractions) so I feel your pain 😣
Glad to hear your little boy is doing better. My cousin's little man is similar and it's been horrible.

@peachypetite sorry to hear you're feeling crap today 😔 sometimes the crying just cuts right through you and there's nothing you can do other than walk away. I completely agree about Groundhog day, it's just so desperately dull with no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so jealous of my husband being able to work just spend the evening entertaining baby.
I've now been diagnosed with PND and starting meds so hoping the days start to feel better soon.

I finally called the drs last Friday and asked for help as really struggling, been diagnosed with pnd. It's difficult as I was already on antidepressants from previous pnd so they have referred me to talk to the mental health nurse. DH has taken the week off which has helped massively. I just hate being on my own with the baby, I love him so much I just feel so overwhelmed when it's just me and him and anxious that if he cries then it's only me there to help him. Sounds ridiculous I know! Hope all those who are also struggling feel better soon, I just want to enjoy my children xx

To all of you with PND please know it does get better, but it can take time for the meds to kick in, and for me I felt worse before I felt better (about 1-2 weeks after starting them). I had it really bad with my first 5 years ago, and caught it much earlier this time which means I can actually enjoy some of the days with my new lo. For me the insomnia is the absolute worst, the only thing that gets me through it is knowing it will pass, eventually!

@Yellowbeansontoast Welcome! I've only had a couple of 3+ hour stretches with my 9 week old: he tends to wake up after 2.5 - 3 hours for a snack and (often) a poo ;-)

@jellycat2020 @lc86 - very glad to hear you're both getting some help/support: hopefully that'll help you get on the mend and feeling better.
@lc86 It doesn't sound remotely ridiculous

I just feel kind of empty. I’m lonely even though my husband works upstairs which sohnds ridiculous but today he couldn’t take a lunch break and that usually gives me some respite. Baby has been so grizzly today and sick loads. I can’t believe it but I miss work.

@peachypetite same! My husband is working from home and I find I'm resenting him for being able to pop and see the baby and then go and have time to himself when working! He gets to talk to people all day on calls etc and meanwhile I'm 'stuck' feeding or changing the baby. I have so much support and he does so much for us, which makes it really frustrating that I feel so alone and down. Sometimes I think it'd be better if he was in the office as then I wouldn't see that he can have a cup of tea in peace etc 🤦🏼‍♀️

@lc86 I also feel like I shouldn’t be finding it this hard. I have really good practical family support in the sense of dinners and washing and feel like some people have it so much worse and manage.

@peachypetite other people definitely have it much worse than I do, but dr said that doesn't make my reality any more manageable, which makes sense really. I feel guilty for feeling how I do when I've got it so good, which doesn't help at all! I know that I've got past pnd before and I know I'll do it again, it's just so hard at the moment. I really don't think covid rules help as we can't wait to be able to meet friends, and have a good cry/rant to them over a nice coffee. I don't find it the same at all over FaceTime. Also homeschooling is stressing me right out! I'm so glad this group is here for me to vent to!! I do think admitting we are struggling is a big step, so hopefully we won't feel like it much longer! And it's nice to know it's normal and other people are feeling the same in a way xx

@lc86 @peachypetite same here too - hubby working upstairs and I completely agree with the resentment of the fact he can pop in and out for a cuddle with baby when he wants and go back to being sociable and eating/drinking in peace.... 😢
We don't have any family support as all too far away and no friends close enough to 'bubble' with so we're on our own (apart from you lovely lot!).

This thread is helpful and makes you realise it’s not just you! I went for a long walk and listened to a podcast just now and it did make a huge difference getting some time completely alone. Even if husband kind of takes over the main entertaining, changing etc in the evening I’m still there in the living room, or if I go upstairs I can still hear her crying etc so it’s not like you ever switch off. It’s not healthy and I do wonder if there are more women struggling post birth than there would be usually because of how we are having to live at the moment.

@Yellowbeansontoast welcome to the thread.

I can totally sympathise with those of you struggling this week, I am too!

Having really struggled the first 8 weeks and being diagnosed with pnd things really did feel great for a few weeks, Quinn's colic went away, I felt like I was coping great with things and she was sleeping amazing. The last two weeks tho have been really tough, she's not been well so she's been crying loads, the doctors can't work out what's wrong with her and the days are soooo repetitive and boring! I burst into tears last night because she wouldn't stop crying and I felt like I couldn't cope and I've not done that for weeks!

I hope it's just a blip and I start to feel more positive soon. This lockdown just feels so long because all we can do is stay in the house really! I miss my family, my parents haven't seen my baby girl for 2 months and I just feel so sad that she is missing out so much by not getting to interact with other babies or family.

Hang in there everyone I really hope things start to feel better soon for everyone who is feeling down and finding things really tough just now xx

@peachypetite I totally get that I tell my partner every week that I'm going to do the food shop on my own (that's the only 'me' time I get!) and it makes the world of difference just having an hour or two to myself to get a proper break and recharge (even tho I have to getting the shopping) xx

@NaomiB79 haha, I bagsy the weekly shop too - sad isn't it?!

I've had an awful day. Not neccaserialy baby related but I needed to share somewhere. My DH dropped baby and I off at my parents on the weekend to get some support, he stayed a couple of days and headed home today leaving us here for the next two weeks. He was involved in an awful car accident on the motorway on the drive home. He was hit by a truck. Whilst the car looks like it needs to be written off, by some miracle of God my husband is ok and has escaped with somewhat minor injuries.

I've been tearful all day and just can't stop thinking 'what if?'. The truck hit the car where the baby's child seat is, I hate to think what could have happened had we been with him. Obviously I'm just grateful he is ok but my mind keeps playing both the alternative scenarios over and over. My best friend lost her fiance in a horrific car accident last December and that has made me a bit panicky every time DH does a long drive and it's like it all started to unfold today. I've been so upset and I think my baby can sense it as he has been so unsettled, I think he is missing his daddy too. I feel like I never want me and DH to be parted like this again which is ridiculous as I'm incredibly independent. I also feel like I've given up any hope of having any type of normal maternity leave. Covid, car accidents, everything just feels so bleak.

Oh @Pinktruffle that sounds so terrifying.

Easier said than done, but try a few grounding techniques when you start getting those intrusive thoughts, and try some CBT techniques too.

I know what you mean about feeling bleak. This just feels never ending, but things always seem worse at night.

DS and I both have thrush. I really feel for him, his bum is completely red raw and I feel awful. I’m not too bad, just feel a bit “off” more than anything.

@Jellycat2020 sorry to hearabout your labour and that your cousin was struggling too! If you don't mind me asking, have they managed to get their LO completely symptom-free? It seems no matter how careful I am with my food, he still has one or two bad days a week :/

@EithneBlue thank you, that's reassuring. We also have a night time pooper, his favourite time to go is at 4am!

To everyone struggling with PND, I hope you're getting all the help you need and remember, there's no harder or easier, everyone's situation is difficult in different ways.

@Pinktruffle that sounds so scary, I'm so sorry! Glad your OH is okay, with everything else going on this is the last thing you need.

Oh god @Pinktruffle that is terrifying and not surprised you are shaken up. Are you feeling any better today? X

@Yellowbeansontoast last I spoke to her, no, not yet. Think they still use Infacol and Gripe water occasionally.

Thank you for the sympathy ladies.
I've been quite tearful all day to be honest @peachypetite, trying to hold it together for my LO though. I don't know if its hormones but it really has hit me hard. I really miss DH and want to be with him but he some injuries from the accident and needs to rest so I'm best staying with my parents, at least for the next few days.

I’m glad you’re with your family @Pinktruffle so that they can help you with your son! Has anyone else started looking into nursery or childcare? I’m not planning to go back to work until a year off but I’m in London and nursery places are competitive. But it’s all just a bit weird not knowing what will happen with the virus!

Morning all @Pinktruffle sorry to hear about your husband I do hope he is ok .lo slept a whole 6 hours last night was fantastic I dont know if I'll get that tonight so I am taking every day as it comes got my letter through he is now registered at the doctors not that we will be there for long .next week we finally are getting him registered so he will be paper official lol he will be 2 months & 1 week will be nice to get out for a bit tbh aswell as this lock down is really now starting to get to me and I miss my family alot especially my mum be glad when we can start to see family friends again even if it is socially distanced again and be nice if this poxy weather gets better to lol