Positive stories after a MMC?

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

I suffered a MMC yesterday at 9+5 and really feel like I need some positive stories to get me through this time. It was my first pregnancy and I fell first cycle trying. I'm waiting on next steps but hoping to have either surgery or medical management in the next week and would then be keen to start trying again. I know the advice to wait for a fresh cycle but i don't believe there is any evidence it is higher risk not to, and it is more to help time the pregnancy. Obviously we won't start trying until I get negative tests.

Does anyone has any positive stories after a MMC and falling again successfully and quickly?

Sorry appreciate this is a highly selfish post! Just feel I need something positive to focus on...

Xx

@AMS19 - I'm so sorry to hear that you are part of the club that no one wants to be in. I too suffered an MMC in Nov 2019. It was devastating. DH and I had been trying for 2 years at that point. I did go on to conceive again in April 2020 but I had an MC. I decided to take a few months break to deal with the emotional stuff and we have been TTC since last month. Even though I don't have my success story yet, I can tell you of many others who do go onto having babies! I know a woman who managed to conceive at the age of 46 with just one ovary and fallopian tube! She'd actually had 3 out of her 6 children post 40 years old. She's my inspiration for sure! Sending you lots of baby dust and look after yourself. xx

I had a miscarriage in August 2017, by the November I was pregnant again. My first son arrived June 2018. We started trying for a sibling late summer of 2019 and our second son arrived September this year to complete our family.

Don’t give up hope. One miscarriage doesn’t mean there is anything wrong. It can just be one of those things.

I would urge you to give yourself a break before trying again. Firstly to come to terms and grieve the loss. Secondly, if you don’t have a period in between it could make it harder to date the pregnancy. This then might make the first trimester even more stressful as you could end up having more scans / worrying about viability etc.

Good luck

Sorry, it's an awful thing to happen.

I had a MMC, had medical then surgical. If you have the option, I strongly recommend surgical - medical (for me) was incredibly painful and didn't work so I had to have surgical anyway. Within an hour of surgery I felt physically ok other than a bit of bleeding and was home within 3 hours.

I fell pregnant 7 weeks after my surgical and have a 1 year old DS. Take care of yourself, it's bloody hard.

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s a devastating thing to happen.
I also had a MMC from our first cycle of trying for our first baby. I found out the first week of lockdown in March so took a long time to get the right treatments etc (about six weeks in total) but then I got a negative test three weeks after my MVA, decided to wait for my next period (two weeks later) and got pregnant again that cycle. I’m now 28 weeks. The reason I waited for my period was that I knew I wouldn’t cope well at all with any uncertainty around dates so wanted to be extra sure and although it felt long, it was only a couple of extra weeks.
I’m not going to lie, the pregnancy has been difficult in terms of the anxiety around it - especially the first trimester - but although I still have worries now, it is easing off as I get past every milestone.
Good luck with your treatment and good luck whenever you are ready to try again, it’s a brave thing to do after so much heartbreak but the odds are that you’ll be ok. Xx

I had one which was discovered the day before my wedding! We postponed.
My next pregnancy is sitting on the sofa playing a computer game in between arguing he doesn’t need a haircut.

@Mummyof2Terrors

Sorry, it's an awful thing to happen.

I had a MMC, had medical then surgical. If you have the option, I strongly recommend surgical - medical (for me) was incredibly painful and didn't work so I had to have surgical anyway. Within an hour of surgery I felt physically ok other than a bit of bleeding and was home within 3 hours.

I fell pregnant 7 weeks after my surgical and have a 1 year old DS. Take care of yourself, it's bloody hard.

I agree 100% with this - medical failed for me, too, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. My MVA was quick, easy, a LOT less painless than I anticipated and I was home, on the couch with a glass of wine within a couple of hours.

*a lot less painful

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I had a MMC in 2014 which wasn't picked up until the 12 week scan (baby stopped developing at 10 weeks). I also opted for surgical management as for me it was the best option and I felt would be less traumatic.
The year after I went on to have a healthy DS who is now 5 and I'm now 15 weeks pregnant with my second, due in June.

Going through a MMC or any type of loss is such a dark and lonely time, but believe me you will get through it and chances are you will go on to have a successful pregnancy

Sorry to hear this has happened to you
Had a MMC at 12 weeks in January this year, had the MVA surgical option and as others have said above would recommend it, wasn't as painful as I thought it would be and I was home within a couple of hours, not much bleeding afterwards.
I sadly had another MC in April, earlier that time at 5 weeks but then conceived the next cycle with no gap between and am currently 31 weeks!
Fingers crossed for you

Just to add...I agree with the other ladies in taking the surgical option. I chose the medically managed route and the pain was immense! I ended up having to have a D&C a month later anyway because the medically managed way failed. I could've saved myself time and trauma had I gone the surgical route from the outset. X

Ladies thank you all SO much for your messages. It is such a sad situation and I'm so sad so many people experience it. I'm not sure surgery is even an option given I'm in tier 4 and covid cases are extremely high in my local hospital, but I'll definitely see if it is an option.

Praying I get my little rainbow baby soon ❤

Update from me:

I've spoken to EPU. I have to go for a scan and blood tests tomorrow then can either pick up with medical management drugs at the same time or have surgery Tuesday.

@SkyBlue20 @TobysMum16 @readyforroundtwo @Riggles78 @Mummyof2Terrors @Foundmyfeet @Jennygentle would you all reccomend waiting for surgery from your experience?

@AmS19 I've had both medical management and surgical. The surgery was by far a much better experience (as good as it can be).

I hear so many stories about medical management either not working properly, which has ultimately resulted in surgery anyway, or it taking ages and with it already being a traumatic experience you just want it over and done with. Surgery I had virtually no pain and was really looked after in hospital.

That's just my experience, others may feel differently.

Thank you so much @readyforroundtwo I really appreciate you responded. I realise it is a very personal choice but so helpful to get others perspective

100% surgery. No question about it. I would never ever go through medical again - sounds dramatic but I just wouldn't.

Medical, for me, was more painful than my eventual labour. Surgery was really straight forward.

Thanks so much @Mummyof2Terrors the only reservation I have is around scarring and it impacting fertility after. Assume you didn't have any issues?

Zero. I had exactly the same fears as you. It was actually my second miscarriage and maybe this is me stretching a bit, but I actually think the ERPC was good for me in my situation - completely cleared after two miscarriages in a row, and 3rd pregnancy had no issues whatsoever.

@Mummyof2Terrors thank you SO much! You've been so kind to share your story. So happy it ended happy for you

Thank you for writing this post and I’m so sorry you’re going through this as I am as well and it’s horrible.
I was 9 + 1 and this is my second miscarriage (one before was 5 weeks so very early)
Like you I am unsure what to opt for as the first miscarriage was just like a period and we fell pregnant straight afterwards so counted out blessings.
I have an appointment at the EPU tomorrow having paid for a private scan last Friday when I suspected I was miscarrying and EPU could not see me. I also read on the hospital trust page that surgical intervention is not an option now we are in tier 4 so I was expecting medical management to be the only option, the option I least wanted.
There is no good time to miscarry but before Christmas in the middle of a pandemic is about as rubbish as you can get!
Thinking of you and please keep us updated on how you get on xx

After TTC for 14 months I had a MMC that was picked up at 10.5 weeks. Had to have ERPC. Sending you much love, OP - it's so cruel to discover your body has been tricking you... but I eventually thought of it as my body determined to hold on to that baby, even when it was hopeless... When my period hadn't returned after 8 weeks, I took another pregnancy test. I don't even know why, really. The twins turn 16 next month...

Hi @dmt1982 I'm so so sorry. Honestly I mean it when I say I know how you feel. I go from feeling numb, to sad, to angry, to confused. It is absolutely heartbreaking. I'm really sorry your choices are restricted. Do you have an option of another Trust? I've decided to go with the surgery. The Miscarriage Associate have a leaflet section and there is one around Miscarriage management that is worth a read. Let me know if you can't find it and I'll send you a link. It is going to be awful having to go through Christmas still "pregnant" but that is the luck of the drawer. Luckily I'm in tier 4 so all our plans got cancelled and it is just my husband and I. How are you feeling? I'm happy to stay in touch if you want someone going through the same thing at the same time!

@multivac so sorry to read your story but so glad to hear your happy ending. Thank you so much for sharing

Xx

@AMS19 and @DMT1982 sending you both lots of love. X

Thank you @Foundmyfeet ❤❤

I had the surgery a week ago today. Everyone I know who had medical had a horrific experience. The surgical option was easy in terms of recovery and I feel confident trying again. Just waiting for the spotting to stop and hcg to drop to zero. Fingers crossed for both of us.

@AMS19 sorry you're going through this. I also went through similar nov/dec last year. Baby had stopped developing just over 9 weeks and I was encouraged to have the surgery. I had the same reservations as you re scarring and I was reassured several times that this is extremely rare and the consultant I spoke with had only seen something like 2 cases in 5 years of this procedure being done daily. Eventually I figured if I could end up needing surgery anyway I'd rather just get it over and done with. The surgery itself was fine, over and done with really quickly. I did bleed quite heavily initially afterwards but nothing major and it settled fairly quickly. I also bled lightly on and off for over 3 weeks after which was a bit of a bummer and extra worry as I expected it to stop after a few days. Turns out it was all normal and my period arrived 6 weeks after the surgery - I never got a negative pregnancy test (another worry at the time) so must have ovulated with some hcg still lingering in my system.

I did take a couple of months off from ttc but fell pregnant again in sept and all looking good so far with this pregnancy.

It's a miserable, worrying time, especially near Christmas 💐