Positive stories after a MMC?

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

I suffered a MMC yesterday at 9+5 and really feel like I need some positive stories to get me through this time. It was my first pregnancy and I fell first cycle trying. I'm waiting on next steps but hoping to have either surgery or medical management in the next week and would then be keen to start trying again. I know the advice to wait for a fresh cycle but i don't believe there is any evidence it is higher risk not to, and it is more to help time the pregnancy. Obviously we won't start trying until I get negative tests.

Does anyone has any positive stories after a MMC and falling again successfully and quickly?

Sorry appreciate this is a highly selfish post! Just feel I need something positive to focus on...

Xx

*stories

Hey girls. Thanks for all posting messages and giving us all hope after what you’ve been through.

I’m pleased that Christmas is over with now and as much as I tried to put what was going on to the back on my mind it creeps in at every opportunity. I’m actually thankful for Tier 4 lockdown this year as didn’t need to put a brave face on around people. I’ve been of you all as know you’ll also be full of mixed emotions.

I’ve been for my Covid test and bloods this morning so now have to self isolate until the operation on Wednesday.

I spoke to my mum after my appointment at EPU last week and didn’t realise she used to work in Gynae years ago. She said that ladies used to come in all the time for D&Cs as they were known back then and it used to do the body good to have a clean sweep so that made me feel better that I’m doing the right thing.

Sending you all lots of love and positive thoughts for 2021 xxx

Ps is it normal to feel fine one minute and totally wiped out the next? Xx

Hey @DMT1982 I'm SO glad Christmas is over. And totally agree on tier 4, did me wonders not having to socialise F2F. I had my covid test and more bloods yesterday for Wednesday. I'm so ready to get this done! It is really good what your mum said. A couple of ladies on here said the same about having a good clear out.
I've spent the whole day today in my PJs. I feel absolutely drained! It is like my body knows something is wrong now but just not what. Emotionally I can't stop thinking about it. I honestly think 80% of it is the fear there is something seriously wrong, 20% is grief. I've put all my energy into all the reccomendations from It Starts With The Egg...swapping plastic for glass, ordered thyroid and Celleac blood tests, started taking ubiquinol CoQ10...my husband thinks I've actually gone mad. But I just feel like I need to do something if that makes sense?
This time in 2 days it will be over and we can start to move forward and get that rainbow baby ❤

Blimey sounds like we are going through the same as I echo what you say about feeling absolutely drained which is totally not like me as usually can pick myself up and rustle up some energy but I just can’t :0(

I think you’re right our bodies are trying to work out what the hell is going on and we have no idea what is going on inside ourselves. I have also eaten so much rubbish over Christmas and can’t imagine there is much goodness in cheese and biscuits plus cheesecake lol!! I have also tried to have some wine but that’s really made me feel rubbish so I’ve knocked that on the head for now!

This book sounds brilliant and all blokes think everything we do is mad so why should we do anything different haha!

I stopped heating food up in plastic a couple of years ago so can understand why that would help. I’m intrigued about this book so will buy it and have a read.

I am currently under the doctor for possible coeliacs and have been referred to a gastroenterologist. That’s the other reason for waiting before we TTC again as I want to get my health sorted out first. I’ve never had anything wrong with me and never go to the doctors but I pretty much since September it’s been all consuming, just want to feel normal again and get this all sorted out.

I think it’s a good thing to be proactive about things especially health because at least then next time we are both pregnant we will know health whys we are ok. I’m sure that will not stop us from being anxious but it will certainly help knowing we’ve had certain conditions checked out.

Like you I just want Wednesday to be over and done with. Have you had much bleeding at all? I’ve had what I would describe as a period type bleed over 3/4 days but not consecutive days then the rest of the days just brown type old blood. I feel even better about electing for the surgical management now as it’s been over 2 weeks since I first began to bleed so know my body would not have miscarried on its own.

Sending you lots of love xxx

Thoughts are with you for Wednesday ladies. I didn’t realise avoiding plastic was a thing??

@pixieandpip yes apparently BPA and plastic that replaxes BPA (so could say BPA free but have other forms that closely resemble BPA) can be bad for egg quality. There have been various studies. It is impossible to avoid completely but I've switched to glass storage containers, replaced my plastic water bottle with aluminium. Only small changes but I guess every little helps!

@dmt1982 yes would highly reccomend the book. If you have Celleac (and obviously I very much hope you don't) then it just means following a strict gluten free diet. Then you shouldn't have any issues TTC, so although an absolute pain, one you can control 🙂 I'm sure it was just a bad egg but I struggle mentally to do nothing. I'm planning to TTC straight away so wanted to get cracking on everything I can do unless any of the tests show something wrong. In which case I'll change my diet or get any required drugs before starting to try again.
So I havent had ANY bleeding. Literallt zero. My body has no idea there isn't a baby, the sac keeps growing even though the embryo isn't there anymore and has been reabsorbed. Really frustrating! I'm still getting nausea etc. I just can't wait to start feeling normal again. I totally hear you on the exhaustion, I have no energy at all and am so grumpy! Once the surgery is done I'm going to start exercising again and try and get back some energy. Being stuck in 24/7 doesn't help I don't think! Xxx

@ams19 and @dmt1982, I agree re getting a chance to chill out and not socialise because of tier 4, it's been nice (I'm usually more sociable!).

Wishing you both all the best with your procedures on weds. I've got another week before I go back for additional scan and next steps. I'm the same, just want it to be sorted so we can try to draw a line under it and move forward.

My OH had been so supportive but I'm not sure he gets how consuming it's been for me. He seemed a bit surprised yesterday when I said it's all I can think about. But I guess when it's happening to our bodies and hormones are all over the place it's bound to hit a bit harder. I'm still struggling a bit with nausea as well which is a pain.

Thoughts with you both for weds @ams19 would be great if you do set up another thread like you mentioned, I'd be keen to join, but totally get it if it's something you decide to move away from as well x

Sorry to hear of your loss. I had a MMC in June this year for which I had surgical management in the end because the medical management didn't work (we couldn't start trying again until a couple of weeks after the 24th July). I'm now currently 18 weeks pregnant and all is going well. I had 1 period before catching again but it was a really light one that only lasted a couple of days. We did start trying again before then though I just made sure I had a negative test first.

Good luck I wish you all the best 😊

@Seasalt1984 you poor thing!! The waiting is the absolute worst! At least when you do come to be able to start the process there won't be bank holidays getting in the way. They usually can get you in for surgery within 3 days if that is the route you choose. I'm so so sorry you're going through this!

I dont think men can understand. Carrying it inside me, still feeling nausea all the time, resenting looking at my nipples that have changed so much, it is all emotionally draining, let alone grieving the actual loss too. The only people who truly understand are those who have been or are going through it.

I'll definitely set up a little thread. I think having the support during this is SO important and all the other threads I've seen are those actively TTC after a MMC and emotionally I'm just in a different place right now.
Funny how we are all in tier 4, but I guess half the bloody country is now.
Sending you so much love xxx

@ThirdTimeLuckyIHope ohmy goodness thank you so much! I love stories like this (obviously not what you've been through which is awful). They help me so much. I've been looking at IVF packages all day - I've had one loss! I'm losing my mind with fear that I'm never going to be able to conceive. I know I sound ridiculous and stories like help so much ❤

@ThirdTimeLuckyIHope also HUGE congratulations on your rainbow baby xx

So sorry for your loss, it's so heartbreaking! I had the MVA under general on 16th after my scan discovering our baby stopped developing 8 weeks 3 days. We went to a private scan at 8 weeks and the heartbeat was so reassuring. Very, very sad but I feel better already, I think because it was all dealt with in such a dignified manner at the hospital and the procedure was not as bad as expected -it helped me to move on. I am still sad and anxious about the next time but will not give up. It was our first pregnancy, very much planned and wanted. It's hard to let go but nature knows best, I try not to ask why me and so many of my friends reached out to me saying 'me too'. I knew miscarriages were common but missed miscarriage is such a shock. Goodbye wonderful summer plans, hello hope- that's my mantra that helped me survive Xmas. Lots of love and baby dust to you. You are not alone!

I had a MMC July 2019, ended up falling pregnant again in the October (after one month of trying) and had my son July 2020 almost exactly a year to the date! He's 5 months old now and is absolutely amazing

Sending all best wishes for Wednesday ladies ❤️ it’s such a difficult thing to go through and you both seem to be coping well. Give yourselves time to grieve and to heal.

Just to add my story, I had 2 MMC last year, both around 11 weeks. The first was in April 2019 and I fell pregnant again in June, then sadly lost the second pregnancy in August. I then got a positive test mid October and baby DS was born June 2020 and turns 6 months old tomorrow! Definitely found it was pretty quick to get pregnant again following both mc but I did wait until I’d had a period first, as was advised to so we could be sure of dating the pregnancy correctly.

All the best and really hope you have a positive outcome in 2021 🤞🌈

@mia2201 I'm so sorry! It is just awful and I'm sorry you're going through it. I'm glad you're already starting to heal. We have to believe this happened for a reason and I'm sure when we hold our baby it will all make sense. I'm just praying I am at very least pregnant past 12 weeks if not holding my baby by next Christmas. I wanted a baby before and our baby was tried for, but my god now I really want one. My heart aches to have a baby inside me again. Sending you so much love and healing. Please also join us on a chat if you want to. I'll post the thread details on here xx

@Csx99 @YessicaHaircut thanks so much for sharing, it means so much. I'm sorry you both went through it but so so so happy you got your little rainbow babies!! ❤

Yes AMS, we have to keep hoping and trying! I forgot to mention I have a close friend who had a MMC and is pregnant again, all going very well! it's very reassuring seeing her with a lovely bump :) look after yourself- I said to my husband I know I will repeat and say the same things about the experience over and over again but bear with me, this is how women heal. He smiled and said he'll listen. Cry and talk and be very gentle with yourself and don't get upset when people don't say what you want to hear- everyone really means well and tries their best to be there for you.

@mia2201 ❤❤❤

@AMS19 sorry to hear of your loss.

I fell pregnant last august at first try, but also suffered a MMC. I went for the surgical management in October; I was back home the same day and just had s couple days on the sofa chilling.

We tried again straight away, unfortunately I had to Chemical losses in December and then March this year, however then fell pregnant again in April and am now sitting with my baby girl in my arms.

I have an underactive thyroid and definitely feel this was a factor in it all, I managed to get my meds increased and also followed a gluten free diet whilst TTC.

I hope everything goes as well as it can, and wish you all tbe luck for TTC in the future xxx

Wishing you ladies all the best for Wednesday

I had surgical option after a MMC, found out at 12 week scan

I did catch again straight away but chemical pregnancy and lost 5 days later

Caught 4 months later and ds is now 12!

Fingers crossed for all of you who are waiting and hoping

@ceebee21 thanks so much for sharing and I'm so sorry you had to experience all those losses. I've actually ordered a full thyroid blood works from Lets Get Checked to see if there are any issues as I've heard this can be a factor. I've no reason to think I do have an issue, but wanted to do everything in my control to see if there is something underlying. I'm so so happy you got your little rainbow girl 🥰🥰🥰 praying I follow suit xx

@jackstini thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for what you went through but SO happy you got your happy ending ❤❤

MMC in June 2012, was absolutely horrific seeing it on the ultrasound screen. I was not with DH and had popped into hospital for scan on my lunch break and had to go back to work to present at a hearing straight after getting the news. Don’t know how I did that. Had surgical removal, was pretty painless. Fast forward November 2012, pregnant again, severe cramps here we go again, down to hospital for a scan by myself on lunch break. Same nurse who had comforted me the first time. Ultrasound screen showed up 2 little dots and 7 years later my lovely twin girls are the light of my life. Keep hopeful however dark the bad times feel xxx

@AMS19 I had a lot of support around me which really helped and when we did start trying again I gave up using OPKs I just used my Fitbit to track my cycle but it was a bit all over the place still. I think I ovulated later than usual 😊

@keepingmindful oh wow twins is amazing!! That is such a perfect ending, thank you for sharing