Positive stories after a MMC?

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

I suffered a MMC yesterday at 9+5 and really feel like I need some positive stories to get me through this time. It was my first pregnancy and I fell first cycle trying. I'm waiting on next steps but hoping to have either surgery or medical management in the next week and would then be keen to start trying again. I know the advice to wait for a fresh cycle but i don't believe there is any evidence it is higher risk not to, and it is more to help time the pregnancy. Obviously we won't start trying until I get negative tests.

Does anyone has any positive stories after a MMC and falling again successfully and quickly?

Sorry appreciate this is a highly selfish post! Just feel I need something positive to focus on...

Xx

@AMS19

Update from me:

I've spoken to EPU. I have to go for a scan and blood tests tomorrow then can either pick up with medical management drugs at the same time or have surgery Tuesday.

@SkyBlue20 @TobysMum16 @readyforroundtwo @Riggles78 @Mummyof2Terrors @Foundmyfeet @Jennygentle would you all reccomend waiting for surgery from your experience?

Definitely! The medical didn’t work for me at all but it was an awful experience mainly due to the codeine which apparently doesn’t agree with me - I was cramping like mad and throwing up loads, had to have an anti-nausea injection and was really out of it, yet didn’t pass any blood or anything at all. At my follow up scan the sac had actually grown. At that point they agreed to give me the MVA and that was a much better experience. I was so scared going in but it wasn’t painful, it was really quick (the actual MVA only took 10-15mins, it was the waiting around i hospital beforehand that took ages but that was fine), I felt fine afterwards, was home within a couple of hours and I hardly bled or anything afterwards. The complete opposite to the medical.

I did actually want it doing under general but my MMC was the first week of lockdown in March so I didn’t have a say - I was made to try expectant management then medical when that didn’t work and then had to have an MVA rather than having it done under general but I 100% would choose that again if, god forbid, I had to.

Good luck with it, I hope you can enjoy Christmas despite having this hanging over you. I had my birthday the day before one of my appointments and though it was tough, it was quite a nice distraction. Sending lots of strength, I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this xx

@Rtmhwales I'm so sorry!! How are you? I hope you are dealing with it best you can. Hopefully you can negative tests soon and you very very quickly fall with your rainbow baby 🤞

@SkyBlue20 thanks so much lovely. And massive congratulations on your pregnancy! People like you give me hope and I'm so grateful for that. I think I've definitely made the right decision on surgery. I'm actually quite crampy so maybe my body will end up doing it itself, but at least I can have surgery booked ready. Mine is under general apparently.
Honestly I'm so grateful for you taking the time to respond and share your story.

@Fizzl thank you so much for sharing. Yours sounds so similar to my experience. Sorry the recovery took longer than expected but so pleased you've now got a little rainbow baby growing. I have everything crossed for you!! Xx

I had surgical management 21 weeks & 2 days ago.

I’m currently 20+4...

I obviously didn’t have a period in between the loss, falling pregnant on first try.

What I will say is mentally it made this pregnancy harder. I never quite knew how far along I was even though I used opk’s. Every little twinge terrified me and I ended up in EPU 3 times in the first trimester due to pain/bleeding/anxiety. It’s only now I’ve started feeling less anxious, & realise as of now everything is okay.

For me personally, waiting one cycle would probably have helped me, but then we wouldn’t have this particular baby girl inside me growing, & I wouldn’t want to swap her for the world.

I attempted the medical management twice and nothing happened. I begged for general anaesthetic for the surgery which was agreed upon as I couldn’t bare to be awake. I woke up with minimal pain, & bleeding, and one those pregnancy hormones started clearing I felt so much better.

Finally, I’m so, so sorry for your loss

@Sansa87 thsnk you so much for sharing. I'm so so sorry you had such a late loss, I cant even begin to imagine. I totally see why wating a cycle would help. We have agreed to NTNP until I get my first proper period, if it happens it happens. Mentally I'm not sure I could prevent now. But will start again with OPK/BBT tracking after my first proper period.

I have absolutely no idea how I'll deal with the anxiety, this pregnancy was hard enough. But I'll cross that bridge when we are lucky enough to come to it I guess.

My surgery will be under general so at least I will be asleep. I agree, would hate to be awake.

Huge congratulations on your current pregnancy. I have everything crossed it will all be absolutely perfect xx

@Sansa87 ah sorry just re read now realise your surgery was that long ago now the baby! Oh wow yes you really did fall quickly. Ahhh that gives me SO much hope. THANK YOU!!

@AMS19 thank you so much for your kind words and although it’s such a horrible experience for anyone to go through it’s also comforting knowing that I’m not the only one if that sounds right?

I eco what you say about being on a rollercoaster of emotions, numb, accepting, anger, sad....the list goes on. It’s the not knowing what is going to happen and having something that isn’t alive still inside me.

I read the miscarriage leaflet on management last night after you said so thank you. I think it was on their main page I read that surgical management wasn’t an option during Covid however I cannot find anything on my trusts website about what they offer at the moment and like you we are in Tier 4. I have an appointment today at EPU (2.40) so will see what they say. If you are also in Tier 4 and have been offered surgical management then it maybe on the cards for me (fingers crossed)
After reading the leaflet on the miscarriage website I think this option is still my preference as medical management most go on to have surgery afterwards because of retained products so it seems silly to go through both when I could have one and it all be over with.

Would love to stay in contact to offer each other support.

Thank you to all the others on here who have commented and given their advice and experiences as it has really helped with not only positive stories following a miscarriage but also helped with what route to go down with regards to management. Thank you

Hi, I'm so sorry OP and all on this thread for what you've all been through. Earlier this week after a bleed I found at 7+3 that I've also had a MMC. Going through a whole heap of emotions and feeling very sad. I currently have 2 weeks to see if my body will let nature take its course of if I'll need intervention. Its been really helpful to read all the stories and advice and medical management now sounds preferable to me if I get that far.

For something that is, horribly, relatively common it's still so devastating. It's so helpful to hear about other people's stories and feel the solidarity.

It's been lovely to read about successful pregnancies some have gone on to experience. Sending love and positive vibes to all.

Typo, I meant I'd opt for surgical management, not medical, thanks to all the advice. Brain is a bit of a fuzz atm

@AMS19

Update from me:

I've spoken to EPU. I have to go for a scan and blood tests tomorrow then can either pick up with medical management drugs at the same time or have surgery Tuesday.

@SkyBlue20 @TobysMum16 @readyforroundtwo @Riggles78 @Mummyof2Terrors @Foundmyfeet @Jennygentle would you all reccomend waiting for surgery from your experience?

I wouldn't have any reservations about having it again if I needed it and would personally wait to have it rather than the medical management. Risks of scarring are very low and for me the most important part was that it meant that I knew after the surgery that it was done and I wouldn't be hanging around at home waiting to fully miscarry and hoping that I didn't have any excessive bleeding that would require a trip to A&E. As others have said, actual procedure was about 10-15 mins and a hour or so either side for checking in to EPU and to check that I was ok afterwards. I had some bleeding not unlike a light period afterwards then had a normal period almost exactly 4 weeks later so straight back to "normal" for me. This pregnancy after having the MMC was quite stressful for the first 20 weeks or so, especially any time we had a scan after we got the MMC diagnosis at my routine 12 week scan. I've felt much more confident now that I can feel her rolling around inside me now that I'm nearly 32 weeks though! Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you OP, and best of luck for the future

@DMT1982 it's so tough. Im on my way to EPU now to get my surgery booked in for next week. Yeah I'm in London in tier 4 and it was still an option, I just have to have a covid test before which isn't ideal but so be it. I think I'm more worried about the covid test than the surgery 😂😂😭😭
Definitely let me know how it goes later. Veey happy to stay in touch and support each other through it. There is a MMC board so we could always start a little thread there. I hope today goes as smoothly as possible and they let you have surgery.

@Seasalt1984 I'm so sorry! It is so tough isn't it. I think I lost my weeks ago given the baby has been absorbed so must have been pretty small still. It was only 4mm at the scan when I saw the heartbeat, so can't have been long after. The sac has continued to grow though. I just want to stop feeling sick! I resent the nausea so much now. It is a lit better but comes in waves. I havent eaten for 48 hours so feel so dizzy too. Again, if you want to stay in touch with me and @DMT1982 for support let me know. I'm happy to start a separate thread, pregnancy boards probably aren't the place

Thanks SO much @Riggles78 I'm honestly so happy to hear your little baby is wriggling. My absolute dream!! Hopefully I'll still get my 2021 baby!

Lots of love to everyone xx

@AMS19 and @Seasalt1984

Just to update you both. I went to EPU this afternoon and they were great. Had a scan to show I had miscarried and baby had only shrunk slightly since the private scan the week before. They usually scan twice, two weeks apart however due to Covid and the fact I had already had a scan the week before they were happy to crack on with the next step. All three options were open to me and all the pros and cons of all options were explained. I opted for the surgical option and have been booked in next Wednesday. I have a Covid test and bloods on Monday morning the self isolate until the operation. Am so relieved there is light at the end of the tunnel and I’ll be able to go into 2021 leaving this horrible year behind me. I know that next week won’t be easy however it’s the best of the choices I think. I hope that your visit to EPU went as well as it could do @AMS19.

I have been reading some of the lovely stories on here and how ladies have gone on to have successful pregnancies after miscarriages. I am keeping everything crossed that it’ll be our turn next year to have our rainbow babies xxx

Hi @dmt1982 that is great. I'm also having surgery on Wednesday too! Crazy how we are going through it at exactly the same time ❤ how are you feeling? I had bloods today and have my covid test Sunday. I'm just so glad the worst will be over in 2020 and we can start the new year with a fresh start

@AMS19. I’m really pleased you’ve also been booked in for next week as like we’ve both said it’ll just mean closure for what we are going through and we can start 2021 with a positive outlook.
I feel better knowing you’re also having the procedure on the same day, how mad is that, so pleased I found this thread as don’t feel so alone.

Feelings why’s I feel better mentally now I know next week will be the end of a horrible few weeks. Physically I still feel pregnant which is a strange feeling as I know I’m not but I guess the pregnancy hormones are still very much in our systems.

It was strange being in EPU with everyone with masks as no one really wanted to make eye contact as you can’t tell if someone is smiling or just staring. One lady came out with a scan photo and was happy and another lady sat there like me staring at her phone not making eye contact.

Once this is all over I’m going to give myself a few months to recover emotionally and physically as pregnancy and loss has been all consuming since we started trying in September. We have been very lucky to fall pregnant both times however neither pregnancy stuck. Maybe once this procedure is done it will be a good thing and anything that’s been stuck inside causing these losses will be gone. Xx

@AMS19 sorry also meant to say that had we not had the loss before this one I would be the same mind set as you and want to try straight away as soon as you can so please don’t let me put you off trying straight away again. Many ladies do fall pregnant straight away and the gynaecologist I saw for my early scan said pregnancy straight after a MC is very common and you ovulate sooner than normal first time round xx

Sorry to hear about your loss OP I had a mmc in 2016 at 9 weeks, picked up on a scan at 12 weeks. I was pregnant again 3 months later and had a lovely healthy DD (we already had a DS).

All the best to you for 2021

I am so sorry OP. miscarriages are so hard! I have had two. First on was in 2011. MMC baby died at 9 weeks but I found out at the 12 week scan. Got pregnant with my DD now 8, 2 months later.

I had another MMC at 11 weeks this July, baby had died at 7 weeks. This time it took a little longer but I am 6 weeks now and hoping!

Best of luck. It is a very hard time but things get better x

@dmt1982 yes I'm so sad we have this in common but so glad we can support each other through it! Don't worry it is totally an individual choice. I think taking a break is healthy and makes sense. I just feel for me I need to crack on. I'm reading It Starts with the Egg to try and do everything I can to get prepared. My husband is in despair at me throwing out all the plastic in our kitchen 😂😂😂 I'm on a mission!
We will both yet through this! Let's focus on making Christmas the best we can (which in tier 4 is pretty shitty anyway) and then get through next week and move onwards and upwards. And hopefully we will very soon have our rainbow babies and all this will make sense xx

@IRememberMySpaceBabe @Dogsandbabies thank you both so much! I'm so glad you've both had some positivity following your experiences. It honestly helps so much hearing these success stories at such a dark time ❤

Just another to say thank you ladies for this post it’s been the most useful I’ve come across on here. I’m in the same boat. First time trying. Had a private scan last Saturday at what should have been 7-8 weeks. They found bean at max of 6+2 with no heartbeat . Had hospital scan yesterday who confirmed the same and have been sent home with miscarriage leaflet and just waiting to have it confirmed next Thursday. Although I know .
This post has been lovely to read to give me hope and how to deal with it on the practical sense of what happens next as like the other ladies my body doesn’t seem to want to let go of it.
I seem to be holding up ok, I’ve had my cry when I left the hospital. Partner seems to be handling it worse .
I wasn’t overly maternal but now it’s happened I’ve become used to the idea so thank you for the confirmations that it will. I also count myself lucky in that at least I now know I can get pregnant.
Hope everyone on here is coping and what a rubbish time of year for it to happen... but then I suppose it sums up this year!!

I had a MMC at 9+5 too. Though not picked up until the 12 week scan.

I really advise against taking the pills - I did this and it prolonged the pain and bleeding. If you can, go for the surgery. Many friends did and had a much 'better' experience.

The recovery can be tough in terms of emotions so do give yourself some space to grieve. Take time off work, lie in bed and cry, talk.. It's very sad.

I fell first go with the baby I lost but it took me 4 cycles to conceive my rainbow baby. I know this still isn't long but it felt like an eternity at the time. I think my body just needed time to recover. You'll get your babe in arms, I'm sorry you'll never enjoy that ignorance of a first pregnancy BUT this will all be worth it. Best of luck and take care xx

Sorry to hear this, it’s so hard. I had a MMC with my first pregnancy which we found out at the 12 week scan. I got pregnant again quickly but had an early MC at about 7 weeks. But the next pregnancy stuck, and the next one. DS just turned 18 and DD16! Wishing you all the best xx

@Pixieandpip I'm so sorry! It is so tough isn't it. I'm feeling more positive today but have thrown everything into researching how I can make my body the best it can be for next time. I'm booked in for surgery on Wednesday morning, so will be glad when it is all over and I can move on. Again, if you want to would be great to form a little group and stay in touch. Reslly praying this goes as smoothly as possible for you xx

@HariboBrenshnio thanks so much for your kind words and huge congratulations on your rainbow baby. I just pray I'm pregnant or have my baby by next Christmas. Yes I've opted for surgery, everyone on here was so helpful with me making that decision! Annoying it is the otherside of Christmas but at least it is this year!

@Theraindropontherose amazing!!! Thanks so much for sharing

Had a MMC in December of 2018. Got pregnant with DS1 in June of 2020 had DS1 in March 2020 he’s perfect and am having DS2 in May 2021 x

@AMS19 I'm so
Sorry to hear this, I haven't read the whole thread but can see
You've opted for surgery. With my mmc, which was my third Mc, I was so scared of surgery so went for medical. It hurt and didn't work for me so I needed surgical anyway,
Knowing what I know now, I would recommend surgical.
I had to wait some time after my mmc due to other things (not Mc related) but I fell pregnant the second cycle of trying afterwards and my rainbow baby is shortly about to turn 1. Wishing you all the luck you get your rainbow baby also.

@RosieGirl27 @ineedanotherholiday ladies thank you both SO much. I have been struggling today with it being Christmas and all the pictures of children and babies fearing I'm never going to be a mummy and it will never be my turn. So satires like these keep me going. I'm so so happy you both got your rainbow babies and am praying so hard I'll follow. Merry Christmas xx