4 weeks today!

[AnxiousAnnie86]

Hi ladies! New to this board just moved over from conception! Cannot quite believe it! I'm panicking as it's been a year (exactly!!) Since my miscarriage, and now I have backache and light cramps! Is that normal at four weeks can anyone put my mind at ease? X

Yeahhh.. @AnxiousAnnie86 I've just ordered a pillow so hope this may help a little bit. It's not painful just feels really uncomfortable and then making me tired through the day as I'm not getting a good night sleep.

@SenoraSurf yeah I'm due in July so I wouldn't make an October thread. They are easy to make so I'm sure you can just do one, and then you can comment in it when you like.

@TheOrangeMonster I'm 14+4 so still got a few weeks till the half way Mark. I had this with the food, I didn't have any sickness, but totally didn't know what I fancied to eat- still have this now tbf. End up making random bits of food haha.

@AnxiousAnnie86 due date would be 10th/11th September by my reckoning. They'll probably tell me mid-end of August at my booking appointment next week because they can't cope with irregular cycles but ho-hum.

Yeah it's seriously problematic because DH wants to eat with me but I can't eat the same food, I'm literally thinking I may have to go to the chip van later and just eat chips, because none of the food we have in is going to be ok. I'm also knackered - on the weekend I had to have naps but today I haven't been able to because of work and I think my last batch of students are going to get some pretty zoned-out lessons.

You've already bought stuff? Wow, you're very organised!
I think we will most likely leave it all until 30 weeks at least, neither of us want to tempt fate so we are not even discussing that stuff until 13 weeks at the earliest, let alone buying it 😅

I'm really keen to tell our families - my parents know because they're medical and I needed the support but nobody else does, I think it'll feel better when they do - but we aren't doing that until we've had the dating scan.

Most of the time now I'm flicking between nervous about not getting a heartbeat and scared I won't be able to look after a baby properly, or won't bond with it properly, or something. I guess that's pretty normal.

Aaaaaargh why is the time going so SLoOoOoWly.....

@TheOrangeMonster I didn't want to buy anything! But the pram was in the sale and had like 75 pound off so husband bought it! I'm half way there and want everything done and sorted by 34 weeks.... So it's really not that far away 😱 I was so worried about tempting fate but I'm so not enjoying this pregnancy as every day seems ruined by fear so just doing what I can to try take some happiness from it and I'm pretty sure whatever will be will be!

Your early symptoms sound just like mine!! Just eat whatever you fancy!!

Doh!!! Ignore me, I'm on another 4 weeks today thread and obviously posted in the wrong one. What a lemon!!

@Blossom428 I just bought the what to expect first year book it's 13 pound on amazon or sooo cheap on world of books

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/heidi-murkoff/what-to-expect-the-1st-year-rev-edition/9781847379740?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpofX3PW37gIVnAUGAB2EQAuYEAQYASABEgIfbPD_BwE

@AnxiousAnnie86 I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time with this one. I hear you completely!
Although remember you really are in the good patch now, statistics wise!

Absolutely fair enough not to want the stress of a last minute scramble - and also £75 off is so good it's not worth missing is it!

I'm just bumbling along doing everything last minute - it's what I'm like haha! I guess being even 12 weeks in seems like a literal age to me right now 😂

We'll all get there in the end, it'll be ok. 😊

@TheOrangeMonster it goes so so slow doesn't it!! Not helped by January lasting a year!!!! I just wish there was some normality! Normal work, going for dinner with friends, shopping for baby bits 😩😩 it's so sad x

God your telling me... January is the longgestttt month ever @AnxiousAnnie86 @TheOrangeMonster

I'm sad too... I really hope shops will open, it's just not the same online. Plus I feel I look at clothes and all newborn and first month are sold out!! I'm just going to pick up a few bits as the months go on, to try spread the cost. Then buy bigger items after 20week scan.

Thanks for that link @AnxiousAnnie86 I've just ordered that book too ☺️

@AnxiousAnnie86 definitely more stressful in a pandemic. I've been trying to figure out what to do about my work in schools - I really really don't want to go back into schools when they reopen because of the unknown risks of Covid to pregnant women and unborn babies - there's even some evidence of a link between Covid and preterm birth, and when kids aren't wearing face masks in schools, teenagers are all over each other not social distancing I just don't want to take the risk. So I am wondering about resigning that particular job (it's a very tiny portion of my income anyway).
Only issue is that I can't tell them yet because it's too early, and I'm concerned they're going to send the schools back before I get out of the "danger zone". It's been a source of a lot of worry recently.

I'm also worried because I don't want people to think I'm being unreasonable or overly worried about catching the virus, but even though I might be totally fine if I caught it I might also end up on a ventilator, it's so random. And with immune system down because of pregnancy....argh! 😱 I feel bad because pregnant nurses still have to put themselves at risk and everything, it's a nightmare.

@TheOrangeMonster could you request furlough?

@Blossom428 I just noticed it's second edition there's been an updated one since then?! But babies are still babies surely 😂

Also @TheOrangeMonster I'm sure there was something on the gov website about pregnancy and being at risk. But I think it was after 28weeks. Surely they must have to put some procedures in place to ensure you are safe!! But I guess it's soemthing to think about, like you say, if it's only a small amount of your income.

@AnxiousAnnie86 ohh is it... yeah I'm sure they will be pretty much the same. And if anything we question we can always use dr google haha.

@Blossom428 yeah, it's barely 5% of my income and I'll lose it in September anyway when the baby is born because I won't be able to go schlepping around schools as and when. I know that technically the advice is after 28 weeks, but given I've been told I need to minimise stress as much as possible I think that it might fall into that category.

The only thing that would make me feel safe is if the children (all secondary school age) were wearing masks, and the windows were open, but there's a problem there as schools are not currently enforcing mask wearing, I doubt they'd allow me to insist on it - and I have to go where I'm told based on what room they have available - often it's a tiny broom cupboard thing with no Windows! So not safe at all, basically.

@AnxiousAnnie86 I can't request furlough as I am Self Employed - so technically I have the right to ditch them whenever I want and for whatever reason. I'm wondering if it'll be helpful for them anyway as I'll not be in from September anyway - they can just get someone else in from now rather than from then.

@TheOrangeMonster I completely get your worries on the covid side of things. I am now a month post covid (caught when I was 5-6 weeks) and I'm still suffering which is a worry

Were you eligible for the SEISS grants? (I'm an accountant)

@SS123456 yes, thankfully. Not so great as in 2016/17 tax year I became self employed for the last few months so the grants have been a lot lower than my actual income, but really it's been fine as I haven't had the costs of fuel (£300-400 a month normally) to pay.
I'll still be continuing with private tuition which is 95% of my present income (present income is at 60% of usual as I can't perform - I'm a musician) and when I'm allowed to teach at home again I will, I can control the environment - big front room, windows open, air purification machine running all the time, big floor-to-ceiling screens up, mask wearing....
Just thinking that it may be simpler to drop the tiny amount of peri teaching I would be doing early, save myself the stress and generally just feel safer. I'd spend nearly as much driving between schools as I'd make from teaching in them anyway tbh as the nearest school I teach at is an hour away in a different county! It's never been the easiest setup, just a sort of hangover from a previous stage of my life I kept on for a bit.

@SS123456 PS I am so sorry to hear you're still suffering! I hope everything has been ok with baby at the checkups!

@TheOrangeMonster that's good news that you have been able to claim at least something. The rules for the schemes have been very restrictive though which is frustrating when you should have got more. I agree that it is worth dropping that small bit of work for the sake of the small income, the limited time you have left until it ends in September anyway, and for your own peace of mind and well being. It doesn't sound worth keeping it on fo any reasons really

Thank you! I'm 10 weeks on Thursday so I've only had the one private scan at 7 and a half weeks so far and at that point things looked ok. I have a 10 week scan this week at the fertility clinic so fingers crossed that is ok too as it is quite worrying

I'm self employed myself and I've lost so many clients/work to covid but because I work through a limited company I can't claim any of the grants or furlough, it's super frustrating

@SS123456 it is infuriating - some of my colleagues have been really screwed - you might have read the new article interviewing one of them - Roisin Walters. She's been doing an amazing job bringing the issues with the SEISS to light.

My in-laws are both self employed accountants (FDs) but they seem to have had more work (from their existing clients as opposed to new ones) in the pandemic - I guess because businesses and charities are struggling and need help? It must vary hugely depending on what sort of work you do: they don't do tax accountancy, for example. I'm sorry about the loss of income - I've lost a few students due to lack of motivation or parents struggling to pay their own bills etc. Do have a look at the Statutory Maternity Allowance (I think you can get up to £150/week from 6 months pregnant depending on how much in Class 2 NICS you pay).

DH is all stressed because he's going for a new job interview on Thursday and he's putting a lot on himself because I'm going to take a further income hit in September. In reality he is probably a shoe-in (asked to apply by his boss for his boss' own job) but the poor thing is going around in circles over it and I don't know how to reassure him.

Goodness me, I'll be glad when this week will be over, not least because then I'll have had a (private) 8 week scan!

@TheOrangeMonster the whole support system has just been a shambles, so many people have been excluded from any help at all. It's shocking really

I've been really busy furloughing for clients but it felt bad taste to charge extra for it so annoyingly I'm really down on income as client businesses fail. My OH is a civil servant and will get 6 months full pay parental leave so he is going to take a year off instead of me. I work from home anyway so won't miss out on being with the baby and as I'm sure you know yourself, it's hard to step away from work when you are self employed

@TheOrangeMonster let us know how the scan goes 😊

How we all doing ladies?? Xxx

Good thank you @AnxiousAnnie86 , how are you?? I got to see a punching and kicking baby today 😁❤️

@SS123456 awww hello baby!!!!! It's so lovely to see isn't it! It's like the one day you can relax afterwards!

I'm doing okay baby's been quiet for a couple of days but the midwife listened in and heard her heartbeat so all must be ok in there!

Husband and I can't agree on any names driving me mad! He doesn't suggest any just says no to any I do!! We think we are at three?!

@AnxiousAnnie86 it's mad to see them moving about when you can't feel them at all!

Lol just saying no is not helpful is it! I think we have our girls name now so I just know it will now be a boy! 🙈

@SS123456 we had our boys!!! And I was in love literally decided the morning of the gender scan and was so dead set on it! Then she turned out to be a girl!!! I thought girls names were easier but apparently not!!! The three we have are

Mallory
Heidi
Eleanor

Husband likes all of them but I've suggested so many more and he just goes no, and has not suggested on single name!! X

@AnxiousAnnie86 how typical! We don't have any boys names at all 🙈. I like Heidi the best 😊. For a girl we have Jessie (my nans name) or Leila