Rainbow Babies - New Mums Support Thread 1

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Wonderfully supportive thread for anyone pregnant after previous loss

[title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

@Avocuddles glad I could make you smile. I think because I've got a sub 7lb baby I just looked at her and thought... No way! He fits newborn clothes length wise just about, but they're like sacks on him 😂

Bit of a random question... Hope are you all dealing with nursing bras when breast feeding? I've tried rolling the side down under my boob, folding it out of the way and just letting it flap down but it either gets in the way of Amelia feeding or is super uncomfortable for me. I end up resorting to taking it off at home but can't really do this if I'm out with her and need to feed... Anyone know what you are meant to do?

@SammiLou2312 I've been rolling mine super tight with the reusable breast pad inside it and tucking it under my boob for a bit of support 🤷‍♀️ I'd rather not wear one at home, but I keep dripping milk everywhere.

My midwife has been for Samuel's heel stick and to weigh him. I was mid meltdown and trying to feed, so have had a good cry to her. I've talked through all the challenging parts of my labor with her as well as my feeding worries and feel a lot better. Then she weighed him and he's lost 100grams... Less than 3.5% of his birth weight, so basically I've stressed myself to bits for nothing for the last day and a half. Going to just try to trust my instincts from now on and just feed him when he's hungry.

@Knotemma these are 'first size' trousers and she looks like MC Hammer 😆

@SammiLou2312 I've been wondering the same re nursing bras! Now my boobs are getting big and heavy I'm trying to guess what size I need - i had enormous boobs to start with but the enormous size bras i have at the moment feel so tight! I suspect I might need a J or K cup now which is frankly horrifying.....

With the picture!

@Avocuddles id be inclined to agree and say sub 7lb at birth. Henry is still in some newborn and 1st size stuff and he's nearly 5 weeks old, 0-3 months still looks really big on him. He was 7lb at birth and 8lb8oz at 3 weeks, getting weighed again tomorrow

Any advice anyone?
I've had 2 hours sleep since my waters broke Monday 4am. Baby will only sleep on us, mainly me. We had this with ds1 but not overnight. He managed little stretches at least. She won't do more than 5 mins in her cot.
Im thinking cosleeping but feeding is also a bit of an issue. I've given her formula a couple of times today because breastfeeding is hard going and I'm not awake enough really to manage.
So sorry to jump on with a big rant im just struggling to keep awake.

Should say as well, DH isn't just doing nothing. In the day he's been looking after ds and he's holding her for an hour and then we swap. Just those hours have been hard to find. He's only had a couple more hours than me.

@Treaclepie19 didn’t want leave you with no replies in the middle the night... with my son we co slept. Worked really well for us, although I know it’s not right for lots of people.
I don’t want to comment too much on feeding as I had to mix feed last time and it wasn’t what I wanted... we we’re on a relentless 2 hour schedule for 8 weeks that nearly killed me... but if you are adding in formula, would it make more sense for your husband to do say 8pm to midnight with the baby, feeding & sleeping, then you do midnight to 5am (milk production hormones are stronger over night), then he take baby again 5 until 9, so you’re both getting chunks of sleep? Timings obviously can be changed depending on what you need. Those first few days are relentless. Also talk to your midwife maybe for advice? Good luck, it’s so hard xxx

Thank you @tmc14 :)
Yeah now we're adding formula in and ds1 will be at school i think we should be able to split things better.
I've given her more formula tonight. Ds1 was formula fed after initially wanting to breastfeed and I'd completely been fine with it. Not sure why all the guilt this time.
Anyway, thank you. Hopefully tomorrow is a new day and we can get a rhythm going.

@Treaclepie19 Amelia is exactly the same with regards to sleeping on a night. While she is happy to snooze in her moses basket during day, she refuses to sleep anywhere but with her on a night. I've had to resort to co sleeping for now but hope this will get better as she gets a bit bigger. As for feeding, I found that by using a Hakka when I'm feeding her I collect so much milk from my other boob that I am able to make up a couple bottles of expressed milk which I can use on a night to top her up if needed. If your husband is still off work, could he maybe take baby for a shift and just cuddle them so you can get a bit of sleep? When I was on strict feeding regime due to Amelia's weight loss I would feed her at midnight then leave her with hubby until around 3am even she was due next feed so I could try get a bit of shut eye.. He'd then go to bed and I'd stay up with her if needed (quite often fall asleep with her in my arms on my recliner surrounded by pillows etc to make sure she didn't fall). Hope you can work something out that works for you. Sorry if this message is a bit ask over the place, in doing 3am feed still and haven't had much sleep as hubby is working tomorrow so couldn't take her for early morning shift like he normally would x

Hope you're all getting on a little better and settling into the feeding routines. Had the breast feeding NCT class this week. Definitely a minefield!!

I've a general question for those of you that have already gone through the labour side of things. How much baby clothing did you pack in your hospital bag, and did you bring all newborn sizing? Hoping to make a start this weekend.

@Treaclepie19 sorry you're struggling with sleep. A couple of things you could try:

Put a t-shirt you have worn over the bedsheet( well tucked in) so she can smell you in bed.

Before you put her in the cot use a warm hot water bottle to take the chill off the blankets ( just use hot water from the tap)

I've noticed you've said cot...has she gone straight into a full size cot? It might feel too big and open to her, you might have more success with a moses basket or a co- sleeper ( hauck do one that's cheap enough and gets foot reviews)

I definitely agree to give DH certain feeds

Brb .. Samuel has just weed on me....

Thanks both. We're getting there slowly she's in a chicco next2me at night but doesn't like it too much. She's started doing 1hr or so in there though so we're managing 😊
Just going 1 day at a time. I'm still so amazed she's here and safe ❤

@AnxiousLady1 my tip re clothing would be there's no harm in overpacking! As India and I ended up staying for five nights we had to have more outfits brought in for us, she often goes through several a day due to nappy accidents so even if you anticipate a short stay I'd still pack at least 3 or 4 vests, 3-4 long sleeve outfits (preferably babygros with scratch mitts built in), a hat and a blanket plus a minimum of 20 size 1 nappies. Most newborn stuff still swamps India, if you think you have a huge baby on the way by all means pack something bigger but newborn / first size will probably do fine. Other baby stuff that came in helpful in hospital was a fold up changing mat, wipes and nipple cream, and for me big pants, loose nightwear, leggings, baggy T-shirt's and snacks!

Had another cluster feeding night last night and finally got her down in her cot at 3am. The sleep deprivation is tough, definitely need to try to start taking daytime naps to make up for it. Our area has gone into lockdown as of today, I'm gutted because it means it may be some time until my family and family get to meet her but on the plus side a lack of visitors might give us a bit of time to catch up on sleep.....

Sorry about that... Emergency nappy change during a skin to skin feed🙈

Definitely give DH certain feeds, ideally when you can aim for 3 hours sleep... Having 2 linked sleep cycles makes all the difference.

During the day maybe try side lying in the middle of the bed and doing skin to skin while you feed. As soon as Samuel starts to get fussy I believe Ng him to bed we both get our clothes off and under the blanket for skin to skin and a feed and it makes a massive difference.

Sorry that I've been quiet a few days, I just needed to step back and focus on our breastfeeding. I got myself so wound up about him getting enough when I was engorged that I ignored things like a poor latch as long as he was eating, which resulted in a bit of nipple trauma. So I had to go and buy a hand pump so I could feed on one side and pump the sore one🙈. Pretty much back on track now, though I am still quite sore. I have to recommend the multi-mam compresses if anyone is struggling with their nipples. They aren't cheap but wow so they help! Between those, laninsoh cream and cabbage leaves I'm definitely feeling better!

I hope everyone is doing ok and all our babies are thriving. Picture of my little goblin right now ... Butter wouldn't melt!

@AnxiousLady1 I packed 2 full outfits including cardigans and hats in ifirst size/tiny baby ( after all they scanned him 4 hours before he was born and said he'd be 8lb4.... My tiny 6lb12 goblin!), And three of each for newborn and 0-3. One thing to be aware of though is sizing difference. Samuel is in tiny baby from some stores and up to 1 month in others 🤷‍♀️. However he's had the outfit he came home from the hospital in on today and it's now too small.

We've had loads of fun trying to find a pram suit... My parents have been looking and can't seem to understand that he needs newborn at the biggest... They've bought him 2 that are gorgeous but are 0-3 months, so up to 14 lb.... Double his current weight 🤦

Loving all these baby pictures and seeing what you graduates are up to. Thanks for asking that question @Anon20something as I was thinking the same. I think definitely yes to the varying sizes @Knotemma When I saw the question I looked up photos of my son as a newborn. He was 9lb 4oz, and was still swamped by his newborn clothes... But I got a couple of newborn bits for this one and it says they're only good up to 7.5lbs... So I think I should probably pack in some slightly bigger ones just in case.

Hope the feeding is improving for everyone, whichever method you end up using... in a few weeks I will be on here looking for your advice as you'll all be absolute pros by then. With my son I was so upset that I couldn't fully breastfeed him. My mum understood my sadness, but just said isn't it wonderful that science has created something that nurtures your child and does such a good job that by the time you wean them no-one knows who had what. Thought that was a nice way of looking at it. Enjoy all your lovely squidgy baby cuddles and I look forward to joining you in a few weeks! xxx

@tmc14 the biggest issue I'm finding is the range of sizing... Everywhere has there own version of newborn... Tesco and Sainsbury's are an ok fit on Samuel... Marks and Spencers he could hula hoop with the neckline and I could tie knots in the legs 🤦 s o it's not just the "size" but also the fit you have to look out for.

An update on the pram suit situation... I've bought and up to 1 month fleecey sleep suit from Sainsbury's that's Peter rabbit. He has some other stuff from their in that size that's nice and roomy, so I'm just going to put him in a well fitting sleeper under the fleecey one and then bundle him up in blankets. We will get out for a walk!!!

Photo of the "small" pram suit that dad bought and was determined would fit for giggles

So, I found these YouTube videos for laid-back breastfeeding and they've really helped me with getting him latched well and in a good position where I'm not having nipple pain, so thought I'd share. I started with the what adjustments can I make video and went from there. Hopefully it will be useful to some of you other lovely mamas xx

www.youtube.com/c/NancyMohrbacher

@Knotemma loving the pic of Samuel's "small" pram suit... We had a similar issue with the 0-3 jacket we had bought for Amelia before she was born (when we were expecting a large baby not the 6lb10oz tiny thing she was lol) - pic attached for giggles...I was literally crying from laughing when we tried it on her 😂.

Feeding send to have improved since we changed to the new recommended nipple shields. Amelia has officially graduated from size 0 tiny baby nappies into size 1 newborn ones and is starting to fit into some of her newborn clothes. Weirdly certain ones still hang off of her and some of the tiny baby clothes still fit where others are getting too small... Guess its like womens clothing, different shops and styles have different sizes/fits. Unfortunately it seems she might be suffering from colic... Last couple of nights have been a nightmare. She was completely inconsolable last night and had me awake until half 4 when my DH took over cos she had woken him up (we had gone downstairs to try let him sleep as it's his first day back after paternity leave today). Is anyone else stressing out about being alone once dad goes back to work? My area is in local lockdown so I can't get help from friends and family and it's leaving me feeling a little isolated if I'm honest.
Hope everyone else is doing ok x

@SammiLou2312 I seem to think you're in the north east like me? If so you can form a childcare bubble with one set of grandparents , I'll attach a screenshot of the info for gov.uk for you. I'm in a similar situation as DH goes back to work Sunday and is going to be in Newquay next week... Literally at the opposite end of the country. My dad has actually spoken to our local police officer to check that it covers our situation and they said yes.

I'm glad you have all mentioned this stuff about the clothing as I ordered a lot of newborn stuff from M&S and Next, and I looked at it and thought that looks really big! I got some 0-1 month bits from H&M and they are tiny by comparison. I've no tiny baby clothing at all yet and won't have an idea on sizing until my growth scan in 3 weeks. Imagine I could be panic buying things. 🙈

I do feel for you on the worry about DHs returning to work. This has genuinely been in back of my mind for some time already and I'm still weeks away from giving birth. We've no family at all anywhere near us. Visions of myself calling NCT support having a meltdown 🙈

Hi ladies, copying this from the pregnancy after loss to place mark on here!
baby Francesca Lily Jane arrived at 03:45 on Monday 28th September. 💕 she is just perfect, feeding well and if anything sleeping a little too much though I'm sure that will change soon!

Labour was intense, my waters went at 12:45 am Sunday, went to hospital to have it confirmed but it was a literal flood, I woke up in a pool of warm liquid and said to dh 'I've either wet myself or my waters have gone'! 😂
After that we returned home, contractions started slowly and intermittently at around 3am, and never really got off the ground til 5pm. We had a nice set up with Harry Potter audiobook playing in the background, I was on all fours leaning over the birthing ball and standing for each contraction, hanging off dh and swaying my hips. I was having 2 every ten mins or so when I went in to hospital at midnight Sunday to be told I was 2cm. Sent home with codeine to carry on labouring.
Then things really ramped up, contractions got much stronger and abdominal cramping bled into back cramps and I found it really difficult to identify individual contractions, but I was in ALOT of pain by 2am when dh rang the hospital who heard me in the background and told him to bring me in. We got there and to my surprise I was 8cm! No time to bring any of our bags in, they wheeled me into a delivery room where they started to fill a birthing pool for me but I got on the bed and leant against the back of it just using gas and air. Pretty soon I wanted to push and they confirmed I was 10cm... pool was not even half full at this point!
Pushing was a bit of a relief weirdly, felt good to be making progress! They talked about making a cut and gave me a local anaesthetic because baby's heart rate had slowed but then 2 strong pushes later she was born at 03:45 weighing an impressive 8lb 6 oz. The midwives were all a bit shocked it was my first!!
I had a second degree tear and was losing a lot of blood so all the drs came in and I was stitched up pretty quick which controlled the bleed. Lost just under 1litre total so had a drip of fluids put in my hand. We were then finally left alone and had some lovely cuddles in the birthing room. I was able to get in the bath after my drip which was lovely! We were in the birthing room until 9:30 when they took me up to the ward and dh had to leave for an hour and a half til visiting time. He came back and we stayed in until 4:00pm after all newborn checks and my blood tests had returned.
All in all I wish I'd gone in sooner for some pain relief but not being able to time the contractions properly I thought I was just being a wimp and I couldn't possibly be that far along after just 2 hours!
Will be back soon to catch up with you all soon, hope you are all doing well 💕

@TunnocksTCake she's absolutely beautiful and I love her name!
I was exactly the same thinking there was no way I could have progressed that quickly. Glad all went reasonably well for you and that you're doing ok after having the bleed. I also know the feeling on sleeping a bit too much... Give it a week 😂.

Samuel seems to have gone through his first growth spurt and has basically been attached to me for three days, but we seem to be coming out the other side now which is good. He's still a very content little boy, even if we did go through spewmagedon this morning... We both had to be bathed and he went through 4 changes of clothes 🙈

I hope everyone is keeping well and having a good week so far x