Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

@knotemma
Time not on my side unfortunately I'm 37 now took me a long time to find my best friend I think in myself I have left it to late to be a mum and I think that's wats killing me more thank you for the kind words. 💚🍀

Wow what a mixture of updates.

@babyghirl I'm so sorry if this pregnancy has indeed ended, it's so incredibly hard. The only piece of advice I'd give is not to make any decisions about the future straight away. Take this time to look after yourself and grieve this pregnancy, before deciding what you want to do next. True story - a friend of mine had 6 losses before her perfect rainbow baby girl. I know it doesn't work that way for everyone, but equally having multiple losses doesn't mean it can't work out. Thinking of you.

@SunStruck huge congratulations, this is wonderful news, I'm so excited for you. What a beautiful baby, and it's so nice to see all of these 'graduates' - fingers crossed I'll join you soon!

Thanks all for your excitement and well wishes, I'm excited and nervous in equal measure. This is the slowest week ever! 😬 @tmc14 thank you, I've actually been told I might still be able to be on the MLU and have a water birth, if the initial tablet works and I don't need the drip 🤞🤞. I'm hoping I still get close to the birth I want. And if I don't, the thing I want most is for my rainbow baby to finally be delivered safely into harbour, so I'll just have to adapt to whatever comes up!

@sunstruck Congratulations! Gorgeous photos. Hope you're recovering well and enjoying the snuggles xxx

@Babyghirl I'm so sorry it's not looking good. Definitely call your fertility Dr, can you also visit EPU today to confirm? I had my first when I was nearly 38 and am due soon at almost 41, you're definitely not too old. As Hagster said, take some time, don't rush into any long term thoughts. Just sit with your current situation, look after yourself and allow yourself to be looked after xx

@Hagster keeping everything crossed the tablet works. That's what I'm hoping too! I won't get to use the MLU, but I'm really hoping to get things going before the drip... but yes, I'm trying to also just go with the flow and see what happens, it's hard to be like that though! Only a few days left xxx

@SunStruck congrats he's gorgeous! Sounds similar to me on the labour front haha! Enjoy 💕

@MOGMOGMOG85 honestly it was managed so efficiently, and 2/3 of my friends who have given birth recently gave had similar blood loss and all was fine. It's a bit alarming as they have to treat it as an emergency so pull the buzzer etc etc but they explained everything to me as it was being done and I felt safe all the way through. Worst thing was the dr who stitched me up was wearing glasses so if I looked directly at her I could see everything 😑

@tmc14
Thank you for the kind words I'm just processing everything and trying not to go back to the dark place I was in last 2 times. Doc getting in the phone to the fertility clinic so hopefully hear something in a couple off weeks xx

Wow I’ve missed a lot. Huge congratulations @SunStruck and @TunnocksTCake, your babies are absolutely gorgeous. You are a warrior @TunnocksTCake, what a story.

I also had a second degree tear with Isla and lost a fair amount of blood. We already had a doctor in with us so she stitched me up but it took forever as they couldn’t find the source of the bleeding. She was rummaging around for ages! Anyway just to reassure others, once the stitches were done it was all fine. I didn’t have any problems going to the loo afterwards and they healed really well. Almost a year later I have no problems at all down there.

@Babyghirl I’m so sorry it looks like another loss for you. Sorry if I missed it but are you going in for a scan to check what is happening? I really hope the worst hasn’t happened. But you are definitely not too old at 37. I’m 36, 37 in December and there are plenty of ladies on this forum having babies in their 40s. Try not to lose heart.

As for me I have now finished work yippee! Next week we’ll get cracking on sorting out all the baby stuff, washing, cleaning, batch cooking and all that jazz. Fingers crossed this will keep me busy enough to hold the anxiety at bay until the end of the month.

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm
So jealous of you finishing work. I'm going to try and take leave very soon as it's getting harder and harder to sit at a desk all day. Swollen feet and growing belly.

I had a bit of crap news at my last scan. My major placenta praevia has moved (which they weren't expecting) but it's moved into a low lying posterior position .... covering my c section incision site. So it's risky for me to have a section and also not possible for me to have a natural labour... I was then told I may have to have general anaesthetic for the section so I will miss my baby being born. Then on top of that I was told my husband can be there for the day but once he leaves for the day he will not be allowed back into the hospital and I could be in for 5+days. They even said usually he's only allowed in for one hour (due to corona virus and reduced visiting) but they are allowing partners to stay for the day baby is born. It's absolutely shocking. I had no idea they weren't allowed to visit. I'm truly upset about all of this. I feel numb. It's a long shot but has anyone here ever had a section under general? Last time I was put under general it was for my missed miscarriage and it was awful waking up from that. I felt sick all day and slept most of it. Also the memory from that is also not a great thing to be reminded of at what's suppose to be such a happy time and to not have my husband there after I recover from it properly is devastating.

It's a lot to process. I need a holiday

@futuredreams That's terrible situation for you. I have read a little about giving birth under general anaesthetic and there's still some things you are allowed to have a say in, so be sure to include them in your birth preferences. For example, on mine, I've stipulated if I need to give birth under General anaesthetic the baby must be immediately handed to my DH. I can't recall if it was on NCT class or elsewhere but I heard of another woman recently who gave birth under General anaesthetic and her partner made sure to place the baby immediately on her chest. Despite being a little groggy coming around, baby got that skin to skin and she awoke to her beautiful baby lying on her chest. Talk it through with your partner so they know exactly what you'd like to happen and are fully advocating what you want. xx

@futuredreams god how difficult for you. I'm afraid I don't have any experience, but just wanted to offer my sympathy as that's so hard. The only thing I'd wonder about is (depending on how long you have) writing to the chief exec of the hospital or your MP? My friend did this recently, similar experience to ours (pregnant after loss) and has subsequently been allowed to have exceptions made for her regarding having her partner present. Hopefully it also makes them question their 'rules'. I appreciate you may not want to complain so just a thought. It's so important you have as much control over this as you can. I am just so angry that some Trusts still don't consider the mental health impact of all of this. Thinking of you x

@Babyghirl - I’m so sorry to hear your news. Any woman who has had three miscarriages can ask their GP to refer them to one of the three recurrent miscarriage clinics run by the Tommy’s National Centre for Miscarriage Research. They’re in London, Birmingham and Coventry - www.tommys.org/our-organisation/help-and-support/clinical-trials. The referral takes a while (unless you can afford to go private) but it’s well worth it because they’re really good and test you for absolutely everything. I went to the London one (after loads of tests/treatments at another hospital and a private miscarriage clinic) and they recommended surgery to fix a small septum in my uterus and heparin injections for a mild clotting issue. I didn’t end up having the surgery because it was cancelled due to COVID but I’m taking heparin and, after six miscarriages, have now got to 22 weeks with my seventh pregnancy. The GP won’t automatically refer you to one of these recurrent miscarriage clinics but you can insist. I had to ask my GP twice because the first time they tried to refer me to a random fertility clinic that didn’t specialise in recurrent miscarriage.

@Shefliesonherownwings Congratulations on finishing work! Exciting times.

@futuredreams Ah, I'm sorry it's looking like you won't get the birth you would like. I think the rules about visitors are crazy. I would say fair enough if you're out next day, but those needing to be in longer should be allowed a daily visit. It should be down to individual circumstances. I've had a few friends to have GA for their section, but they've all been emergency ones. So I think for them the recovery was more about dealing with the emergency aspect, not the actual GA. I would think your DH can have skin to skin and all the time with baby until you come round, which is lovely for him and baby (my DH loved this with DS when I had surgery straight after giving birth, even though I was gutted). If you have had a GA I don't see how they would make him leave after an hour if you are still waking up? I would definitely push for him to stay with the baby until you are capable of holding them.

We had our own wildcard played yesterday. I went in for reduced movements, hadn't been able to get her to move all morning, and found out she's transverse again. She was at 30 weeks, but was head down at 34 weeks. I had thought she wasn't in the right position but the midwife was adamant all was ok. But when I arrived at triage and they had a feel and the midwife there was really confused by her position, so they got the scanner and her head is up in my ribs and her bum in my left hip What followed was then a flurry of activity as it's too late to try and turn her, not just because she's too big but also because of various risks of trying to turn her and causing my waters to go, which could result in a cord prolapse. I was allowed home as I'm fairly close to the hospital, but my section is booked for Thursday (they wanted sooner but are fully booked for planned sections!) I also had four other midwives and Drs come in to have a feel as they don't often get transverse babies so late... Felt a little over poked! So DH and I had a fairly shell shocked evening getting our heads around it, but we have several days to get used to the idea. This weekend is now about making sure everything is ready (we're almost there anyway) and I need to rest up a bit and really hope nothing happens between now and then, or I need to be blue lighted in... Trying not to think about that though. It does explain why I've been in quite a lot of discomfort and pain though, I thought I was just being whingey. But she's stretching my uterus the wrong way, and is squashing my lungs/diaphragm more than she would in a 'normal' position.

Anyway, that was very long and rambling! I haven't told anyone else yet so feels good to actually write it down! And exciting/terrifying to know I'm meeting baby in 5 days.

Hope everyone has nice weekends planned, using the rain as an excuse to not do too much!

@tmc14, sounds like you had quite the day of it! At least you can get those last few jobs done before baby arrives, though it sounds like you should just be directing DH! Everything crossed she behaves until Thursday and you can have a nice chilled out c section x

@tmc14 wow what a change, not at all surprised you're needing a minute to get your head around things. Glad they've discovered it and have a good plan for you. I speak from current experience when I say do lots of nice things for yourself now and distract yourself, this waiting time drags! Although one positive is that you get to plan everything more. How are you feeling?

@tmc14 thank goodness you went in to be checked. That's a lesson to all of us! Lots of rest time now for you in these last few calm days.

@tmc14 wow what a rollercoaster for you!!! It sounds like you've handled the news extremely well - sending so much good thoughts for Thursday!! 💕

Still here - 41 weeks! Am I the longest over out of everyone so far?! 🙈

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 41wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 39wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@SunStruck 40wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@tmc14 38wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 38wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 34wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 30wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 30wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 24wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby* 23wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@Knotemma @Hagster @footprintsintheslow @didslysquiddlydoo Thank you ladies yeah it was a bit of a day. I do actually feel ok about it. A section was my least favourite option, but in some ways, when it's all taken out of your hands and told there's only one way to do it, it's quite a relief. I no longer have to make any decisions and just have to pass everything over to the medical team to sort out. Which is kind of ok. If anyone has any sections recovery tips then please let me know! I felt shattered today, but managed a nice nap this afternoon while DS watched some tv, so feeling quite good about things. DH is busy finishing off little jobs, and I've got a list of last minute things to sort out, but all minor and easy so all ok. Just need to spend a few days giving DS loads of extra cuddles, reading our Big Brother book and trying to get my head around meeting our baby!

@hagster - hope waiting for Monday isn't too stressful! I'm finding it very weird to have a definite date, it's not really what labour/birth is in my head, so it's messing with me a little! Can't believe you'll be meeting your little one very soon. It's really exciting. Is your partner allowed in for the whole induction? I know some places are doing that now. My hospital is still not allowing visitors, or very much at all, which is a bit of a pain, but I'm keeping everything crossed there are no issues and then I'll be out after just one night.

@didslysquiddlydoo - ah, I do understand your pain! I went into labour with DS at 41+3, had him at 42 weeks. Everyone from my antenatal group had already given birth, and I just spent every day waddling round the park and bouncing on the ball trying to get him going (his head didn't even engage until half way through labour). I was massive and fairly grumpy. She's obviously very comfy in there! Fingers crossed everything kicks off soon. Waiting is such a strange feeling, especially as you go over 41 weeks and know it has to happen at some point! Hope you're doing ok.

@futuredreams I’ve no experience of a c section under general but just wanted to offer a hand hold. Surely your DH has to be allowed in for visiting, they can’t not let him see you for 5 days. Hopefully they can make some exception for you.

@tmc14 your girl clearly knows her own mind about wanting to be transverse. Sorry having c section is not what you’re wanted but as you say now the decision is made, hopefully you can get used to it and only a few days now until you meet your baby!

@didslysquiddlydoo I was 41 weeks when I had Isla last year and was so uncomfortable by then. I had a sweep which got things going, are you being offered a sweep at all? Fingers crossed it’s not too much longer.

DH and I have been sorting clothes today, a friend of ours gave us a load of boy stuff. We have so much now I’m not sure we’ll need to do any washing for weeks!

Girls I don't know wat my body doing. I still feel a 100% pregnant I just seen what looked like to me brown on tissue when wiping but still peeing for Ireland boobs still sore and I'm only after eatting my fav Chinese and by god I feel ill 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 hoping that on Thursday when I go for my scan everything is OK I still feel bloated to. 🍀🤞🙏💚

@Babyghirl it is possible that the blood you are seeing is just old blood from your womb with it being brown rather than pink or bright red. I know I had some brown blood loss a few times at the start of my pregnancy and everything was fine. I believe there have been a few others on the group who had the same too. You mentioned you have a scan on Thursday. Is that your 12 week scan? I know it's scary but I would try not to worry too much until you have had your scan and know for certain. Fingers crossed for you. Try to relax and take it easy for the next few days if you can xx

@Shefliesonherownwings unfortunately not. I asked. The rules in Northern Ireland at the moment are once baby is born partner must go home that day and will not be allowed back. I did more reading about visiting etc in general and everywhere else such as medial wards, people are only allowed one nominated visitor for one hour, once a week. It's awful.

@sammilou2312
It's a 7 week scan just because off my history I just seen it and thought the worst cause off my history. I'm trying to stay positive for Thursday never felt sick like this on my other pregnancy's hoping its a good sign 🙏🤞🍀💚

@babyghirl I'd a day of brown spotting and what felt like regular period pain at 6+2 on this pregnancy. Cramping in stomach and pains in my thighs (which I always get with periods). But the general rule of thumb is unless it gets heavier (filling a pad) and bright red then it doesn't automatically indicate something sinister. Brown blood, particularly at this stage of the pregnancy is considered to be old blood and most likely leftover implantation bleeding. Wishing you well for the scan Thursday. I waited a week and a half for a scan after my episode and I was a nervous wreck but all was fine. xx

@AnxiousLady1
Thank you I will hope and pray that things turn out well that's all I can do. Thursday can't come quick enough.

@Babyghirl time goes so slowly doesn't it. Hopefully you can fill your time so it comes quickly.

@footprintsintheslow
Awful slow lol I love cleaning and cooking so filling my days in with that. I walked out off work on Thursday in a state thinking the worst so told them I won't be back next week I need time to myself to relax and that's deffo not in work lol. Time goes so slow when your counting them down. Wish it was not this hard but for us ladies I think it's tough for war we been through. 🍀💚