Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

@Shefliesonherownwings Thanks. They were supposed to get back to me today. I called them three times, but every time the admin staff said they'd escalated it to the clinical team to call me but no-one has got back to me. I'm so so mad, and really lost as to what to do. Plus, really my parents need to come the day before to look after DS, but I feel like they're going to just call me and it will be immediate. I don't know. I feel really unhappy about the whole situation. Literally on Friday the Dr said if I go into spontaneous labour then there's a chance the cord prolapses and the baby could die, then they just ignore me, say they're fully booked and don't let me know what's going on. In terms of bringing the section forward, how do you feel about the 38 weeks appointment? I don't know much about the steroid injections. Is there any evidence for long term effects? The only study I saw with a quick google was about behaviour disorders but it was a really small number of children so didn't show anything. I wouldn't choose jeopardising your own mental health because of worry over the steroid injections if I was in your shoes. Plus he's a good size so I'm sure will be fine health wise. Are you able to sit with the option for a few days to see what situation makes you feel less anxious? These decisions are so hard!

@Shefliesonherownwings sorry there were paragraphs in there when I wrote it! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh @tmc14 I am so sorry, this is absolutely not what you need at this stage!! What absolutely shoddy care you are receiving, have you thought about contacting PALS to complain? That may help get you a resolution too, though they may not work that quick.
You must feel at a loss as to what else to do - can you try calling again and insisting that you will not hang up the line until it is sorted and you are given a date? They can't just hang up on you! Alternatively how far away is your hospital/maternity unit - can you just go down there and speak to them? If someone is stood in front of you, it is very hard to ignore them. If you can't do that, I would be persistently ringing every half an hour until they can tell you - regardless of health, you need to know when it is so you can make plans. In terms of babies health, the risks they have mentioned will likely be worst case - i know its still really worrying but hopefully still unlikely. But either way they need to sort their shit out. Is there any other maternity numbers you could call?
@Shefliesonherownwings doing something for your anxiety and mental health is not very selfish! Mums mental health is crucial for the baby. Please dont think that. If you feel you can last another week then put it off, but if you can't then you can't. Don't forget that 37 weeks is full term, there are babies on this thread which have been born then and been fine - its not like you are asking for them to get him out really early. Your consultant wouldn't agree to it if they thought it was putting him at risk 💞 you have to consider what is best for both of you

@tmc oh god I hated reading that. So stressful for you and bloody annoying. More than annoying of course and very worrying for you. Also they could still ring now I suppose as they don't operate normal working hours. I'd be sat by the phone fuming.

@Shefliesonherownwings self care is very important too. Talk this through with your practitioners as see what they would advise if you can.

As for me I'm upstairs hiding from my MIL. Also I have a scan tomorrow afternoon so hopefully that will be positive.

@tmc14 I'm really sorry you're having additional stress over this. It is not needed! I'm in a similar position in that if they delay my section it is really dangerous for baby and me so I completely understand how stressful this must be! Keep phoning. They can't ignore you. And also yes I agree with others saying to go in person. I think that's what I would do in the end!

I wonder how I go about putting my name on the list? I always wondered but never asked! I'm 36 weeks with a baby girl on the way.

Thanks all, I appreciate the chance to rant! It is definitely worst case, and because DS was so overdue I don't realistically think I will go into labour before 40 weeks. I just feel really ignored, and time is running out. Do I just have a word with her to stay in until 45 weeks when it should be quieter in the department?! I do understand what they say about being fully booked for electives, but that isn't my fault and they can't put my child at risk because they don't have space?! I have to go in for a pre surgery blood test and covid swab tomorrow, so will stay until I find out what is going on. I'm sat by the phone as I know shift changes all happen at 8, so there should be people around still. I did try calling my midwife team all day as well but with no luck. I will try and phone PALS tomorrow as well. Crazily, I'm already half way through an official complaint about their procedures, since I was getting phone calls about missed appointments 3 months after I miscarried at that unit. It was awful and I don't want anyone else to go through that. On the day, I know the staff will be great (they were when DS's birth turned into an emergency) but everything else is chaotic and hard. But then I don't think it's any better at any of the other hospitals near me!! Argh, ok, need to stop stressing, do my knitting, drink my tea, go to bed.

@footprintsintheslow That made me laugh, how long do you have to hide from MIL for?! Is she hard work? My ILs are really full on, so I back right away and leave DH has to sort them out.

@futuredreams Just copy and paste the list and add yourself in! I have to do it on my laptop as I can't figure out how to copy and paste it on my phone (I'm sure that's me being an idiot though).

@tmc14 I just put the toddler to bed and pretended she was hard work going to sleep whereas in reality she was asleep as her head hit the pillow.
We don't have the best relationship. Basically I'm not keen and can manage very short bursts only.

Thanks @tmc14
Hopefully I do it right 😂

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@didslysquiddlydoo 41wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 39wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 38wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 31wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 31wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 26wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL

Still having a rubbish time here. Managed to get midwife to chase hospital, they’re saying I have to wait until my pre op assessment tomorrow where they’ll give me more info. I just don’t feel like that’s good enough. Why can’t they give me any update now as to what is likely to likely?! Barely slept, have already cried about 3 times this morning, feel they’re ruining my last few days of just being with DS, can’t imagine what my blood pressure is doing and no one seems to care. Will make a fuss when I go for my tests later but running out of energy. Just feel like I accepted the new situation, only for them to screw me over again. Did call PALS but waiting for them as well. Sorry for the negativity, just want to go back to bed and hide tbh. Currently have no trust in the hospital at all.

@tmc14 I bet it'll feel like waiting for forever waiting for tomorrow. Try and put these stresses in a box now and leave it till tomorrow. Have a nice evening with toddler and partner and don't let them ruin your last few precious days as a family of 3.

As for me, scan went well. Baby is absolutely massive still and now my anterior high placenta is an anterior low placenta and blocking the exit. So c section is now on cards. Can it move does anyone know?

@footprintsintheslow The midwife I saw today for a pre op covid swab and bloods was lovely. She was the one who saw me last Friday, and was really shocked by the change. I don't know much more info, but it felt so nice to just be listened to and respected and treated properly. They are basically trying to fit me in on Thursday, but it's down to random complex hospital admin. Who knows. I find out a definite time tomorrow, but it's still likely to be Thursday, either as a booked in planned section, or a category 3 emergency, later in the day. Concentrating now on just having a nice time with DS and DH and sorting food etc.

In terms of your placenta... they don't tend to move down. This is exactly what happened to me between 20 and 30 week scans. Turns out, the 30 week scan was an error and the placenta had never been anywhere near my cervix (that's what they think anyway). Placentas move up as the uterus stretches. So I would think one of two things... if it is low, it has loads of time to move from 26 weeks, and by the time you get to 34 weeks it is most likely to be clear (I think 80% move out of the way). if your 20 week scan showed it to be high, that is likely to be more accurate, as that is such a detailed scan (that's what I was told when mine apparently moved lower). I am learning these things are definitely sent to try us! I can't help with not letting it get to you, as my last couple of posts have shows :-)

@Shefliesonherownwings you are definitely not being selfish, and as others have said your wellbeing is an important part of this - you and baby are in this together and you are both important to each other. Also they would not be recommending anything that is dangerous to your baby xxx

@tmc14 I can't believe what you've gone through, so so stressful and unnecessary all because what has happened with your babies position didn't fit into their neat timeline! I'm furious! You should definitely put in a complaint about all this when it's over, it seems like you are being put in danger because the service is not flexible and of course not everyones body or baby will be completely predictable and reliable!!!

Ugh it gives me the horrors, I'm so sorry for you!

@footprintsintheslow I'm alarmed at how many placentas are moving down!!! I have a high anterior and assumed I was fine but it seems people keep being told it's moved down. As tmc said i was sure the uterus moves up, so I don't understand?!! Sorry you have a c-section on the cards, how do you feel about it?

I've started feeling movement on my right hand side now (before it was all low down basically bladder and cervix) and can even see my belly moving along the side - a space has obviously opened up at the edge of my placenta :) It makes it feel so much more real again, and also is making me freak out at how little time I have left and how much I'm trying to juggle atm trying to move house... I have completely stalled on preparing baby stuff... I guess I will still have time after I finish work in 4 weeks when hopefully the house stuff will be quieter for a while before we complete (well if we get that far)... just trying to focus on my beautiful garden and mature apple tree that I'm aiming for which would be such a lovely house for Errol to be born into.

Definitely feeling some panicky vibes today - I think all you ladies nearing your birth dates now are so much closer in weeks to me than the ones who were giving birth 6 weeks ago. As though it hadn't actually dawned on me that I will have a baby and give birth to him, until now when I'm less than 9 weeks away...

Did @Hagster get induced today? Or was it yesterday? I'm losing track! I hope we get some positive updates on here soon. All of you in your last few days try to stay calm if at all possible, it seems that it's very common to have your birth plan completely turned upside down at the last minute and I know you're all strong enough to ride it out! xxx

I've been checking in all day to hear how @Hagster is.

I feel ok about everything at the moment as it's a long time off. My friend's placenta shifted up out of the any in time and in all honesty if this baby is as big as they say it is (currently off the scale) then maybe I'll be glad of a c section!?

I've attached a picture of the scales and where me they've plotted baby. I love getting these notes which I didn't get at my previous hospital at all even though it's the same health board.

Thanks all, I think I was just having a big panic about it all after we talked about moving the date forward. Even though I had a date already, talking about moving it forward made it all so real again that I started freaking out a bit.

My midwife called me on Monday afternoon and said we are now looking at c section when I will be 37+4 instead of 38+2 so moved forward 5 days. She said I may not need the steroids after all as it wasn’t moved forward as much as we thought. I also just gave myself a reality check and said that the benefits of steroid injections for the baby far outweigh any of my stupid irrational fears so I’ll suck it up if they need to be done. My consultant is definitely doing the op and I will be first in so that made me feel a bit better. We are now in full on prep mode as we only have 2 and a bit weeks to go. I’m seeing my midwife on Friday and have a list of things to ask her now about c sections!

@tmc14 I’m glad you got some answers and were listened to finally. As others have said to me and it is very true, it makes such a difference when someone hears you and really gets it. At least you know it will be on Thursday whatever so you can enjoy tomorrow with your family.

Hoping we get an update from @Hagster too, fingers crossed all is going well.

@footprintsintheslow I've been battling this question since my 20 week scan now. Will it move. Mine was low at 20 weeks. Then at 32 weeks it was classed as a major placenta previa. Completely covering ... so that means it did move down. Then at 35 weeks last week it moved again and is now a minor placenta previa. I think the consultant was very surprised tbh it had moved. It could be that it was scanned wrong but he wasn't going to admit that as he did the last scan. Basically the internal one got a better view but for me it's still too close and they've booked my section and he also said I may have to have general to control bleeding. .. I am contesting this though. And I am having a scan one week before planned section to be absolutely sure that section is the only way. ... it's a horrid thing to come to terms with but would be dangerous to me and baby unless section was done. Did they do an internal scan for you? X

Hi ladies, have been trying to catch up on everything and am excited that it won't be long until we have more babies arrive.

Re those of you contemplating / potentially facing c sections, feel free to ask me any questions! I ended up having a category 3 emergency section, this meant that whilst it wasn't planned it wasn't a rushed experience (neither of us was in immediate danger but my body and baby had both decided that vaginal birth wasn't going to happen) so probably closer to an elective in terms of the process and recovery. I really only have positives to say about my section though the long painful labour prior to it may have tinted my vision somewhat.....

Haha @footprintsintheslow that is one big baby! I think I might be hoping for a caesarian if mine was measuring like that - just to give myself a break! xx

@futuredreams that is very odd about placenta moving... I guess it goes to show they must get things wrong with the scans all the time! I know it's not an exact science, but if it's something big (like a diagnosis of major placenta praaevia) I wish they would double check!!!

Hope you are well today @tmc14 and good luck for tomorrow xxx

After a major day of baby wrestling about in my belly yesterday today I am feeling very little and worrying about it... ugh every day seems to bring something to worry about!!! I'm sure he's just moved behind my massive all consuming placenta again, but if he doesn't start going by the late afternoon I'm going to have to call in again at the hospital...

only 8 1/2 weeks to go and a sense of major panic started dawning on me yesterday! I made the mums buy me a crib the other day and a baby sleeping bag is next on my list (the mums have been desperate to buy stuff!)

Hope everyone doing well today - wish it was the weekend already! xx

Panic over - he is kicking me, hard, in the cervix. So I guess he's gone breech again - hope he still has time to turn I'm almost 32 weeks now!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I was talking with a group of expectant mums recently and every single one in the group (myself included) have had those days where they seem to go wild and then almost tire themselves out and seem more subdued the next day. I definitely attribute changes in force to portion baby is in at that point. My go to for reassurance is lying on my side at night when I go to bed. That's always certain to get baby going, regardless of whether they've had a slightly quieter day than one before. So that's where I've set the bar for whether or not to panic. It's hard to know as we are obviously told to call them for any changes, but equally we get told they still have a bit of room to move around in 🤷‍♀️

Glad all ok with his movements, I think the same with movements - they have busier and quieter days. As a naturally neurotic person, it is difficult to know whether to ignore my worries as im being OTT or whether to call them! Its a real balancing act...often I can feel them but just "less" than normal so I would feel daft calling.
Having a particularly active day today anyway, mine is also breech - midwife felt them yesterday and said so, plus I can clearly feel their bum sticking out so I can tell myself!!! Some of this later movements are very strange indeed.
@tmc14 hope today is a better day for you.
@MOGMOGMOG85 I had a panic in the last few weeks too, and have gone on a huge spending spree! Think I've got everything now, could just do with washing it all and probably going to make a start and get my bag packed. Early but igs playing on my mind, and my DH's which is unusual! I guess it would be him panic packing if anything happened too early so makes sense
Thanks @Avocuddles, c section is likely for me (should know more after a scan next week) so its reassuring to hear you had a good experience!

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@didslysquiddlydoo 41wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 39wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 38wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 31wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 26wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Updating weeks. @futuredreams I just moved you up into date order

@MOGMOGMOG85 re baby sleeping bags this has been an absolute godsend and I would definitely recommend one

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Designer-Collection-2-2kg-3-8kg-Celestial/dp/B081FHLXKC/ref=sr117?dchild=1&keywords=love+to+dream+swaddle+newborn&qid=1601189569&refinements=p76%3A419158031&rnid=419157031&rps=1&s=baby&sr=1-7

We really struggled with getting her to sleep at all during her first few nights at home, but things have been so much better since we bought this. The newborn size is suitable from birth unlike a lot of sleeping bags, I'll be investing in the next size up as soon as she outgrows it....

@footprintsintheslow I love looking at the charts!! Mine are all over the place, I’m hoping it’s inaccurate rather than a weirdly proportioned baby 🤣

@Shefliesonherownwings really pleased you’re happier with the earlier date. It makes a lot of sense for you and baby will be absolutely fine. Not long to wait now!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I think pleased is the wrong word for getting kicked in the cervix but glad baby is moving more! Such a stress... because mine has been transverse a lot I’ve had loads of days with very little movement & it’s been hard not to stress.

It’s still chaotic here but me and DH are to go to hospital at 7am and I should be having the section tomorrow! They prioritise on the day and because of my position & dates the midwife is almost certain it will happen tomorrow. I’m excited & terrified and it feels very strange. Will hopefully update at some point later tomorrow when it’s all over/the next bit is just beginning! @Avocuddles I’m the same, down as a category 3, so any advice on recovery welcome! I at least don’t have the long labour ahead of me. I’m glad you had an overall positive experience x

Hi all, so sorry to be so tardy and cause you worry! Our beautiful baby boy was born today at 3pm after what was on the whole a really positive birth following the induction.

In brief, I was induced as planned and it worked quickly, but they had delays to move to the labour ward as they're massively oversubscribed at the moment so there was a priority queue and I was low on it. Therefore I was just on a tens machine, waiting in slowly increasing labour all of Monday and Tuesday, until I was 7cm dilated this morning(!) (last night was hard, not gonna lie) and they moved me as I finally reached the top of the queue. The midwives on the labour ward were amazing and after that it was really positive. I didn't get a water birth but totally don't feel I missed out as I got to use the ball and they really listened to me in loads of ways. He was then backwards which noone realised until he was born, which explained why the last bit was rather hard! Anyway I can't stop staring and it feels totally surreal that I have a baby.

I feel rather emotional writing this but you ladies have just been amazing. I joined this group when I wasn't even 4 weeks, you've been so supportive for such a long time, through some real ups and downs. I really really hope you all get your rainbows too, I will be hanging around to hear all about it! Will update the list when I'm on a device where I can. ❤️