Summer '20 Grads Part III

[SmileyT]

@Dipsy77 ❤️❤️ 15th September
@Mococo1 ❤️ 16th September EDD 27th March
@zippityzip ❤️ 18th September EDD 29th March
@mrsmummy1111 ❤️ 21st September EDD 3rd April
@Sausage1990 ❤️28th September EDD 20th April
@smileyT 💚 2nd October 🧡 26th October EDD 15th March
@mrsI2020 💚 2nd October EDD 22nd May
@cocoblue22 💚 3rd October EDD 12th March
@littleRa 🧡 14th October EDD 8th March

@noble89 EDD 25th March
@fairylights2 EDD 1st April
@eloise27 EDD 8th April
@Lettie365 - EDD 11th April
@Ltay2 EDD 11th April
@Madz123 - EDD 13th April
@blodyn91 - EDD 14th April
@samilicious EDD 16th April
@Mustbemad82 EDD 20th April
@MrsEmilyB EDD 30th April
@Catherinettc EDD 19th May
@Blondi3 EDD 25th May
@Sophi123 EDD 25th May

💚 extra scans ❤️ 12w scans 🧡 20w scans

@blodyn91 my sickness hasn’t been as bad today 10+5 and I’ve been worried all day
Been constantly touching my boobies to see if they hurt as I’m paranoid

Thanks for the kind words - still think I’ll be a worrier x

@Mococo1 @Mustbemad82 I don't feel very brave, I just don't want my experience to taint anyone else's. In reality I'm a mess, keep crying all the time and just feeling so many emotions.

Ladies I may dip out for a few days. I'm not going I just don't want to taint the chat with sadness when there is so much happy news because I am so happy for you all I really am. I just need to be sad and it's a consuming. I may change my mind by tomorrow and be commenting so take this with a pinch of salt lol but I will definitely be quieter while I process it all. I will be hanging around... I'm not quite ready to let this group go just yet - you guys have been my support these last few months and I hope you don't mind that I need you a little longer through this rough road. I don't even know what I've written or if it makes any sense but yeah. I'll be around but I think I just need a few days. Xx

@Sausage1990 omg I am gutted to read your news :( so devastated for you. And I admire your well wishes and support for @blodyn91 . You girls are lovely.

@sausage you’re in good company here. I am happy to read you’re going to see family and your dh can take time off. You can defo get through this altho it mightn’t seem like it now. All my love :( xxx

@blodyn your scan is lovely and I’m so glad to hear your news. Xxx

@Mustbemad82 I’m with you. I swear I get pregnancy anxiety. I don’t suffer any mental health or anxiety etc fortunately but I can’t shake it when I’m preg. We’re never guaranteed and that’s scary :( I have a scab tomorrow at 7 weeks but I’m just so aware it can go well and then badly in a few weeks so I’ll only be reassured temporarily. Hope you’re ok xxx

I think everyone has been in a funk this week and struggled. For various different reasons. Is it a full moon or something?!

So I just wanted to send a message to every single lady using this board (I can't tag you all I'm not as good as @SmileyT!)

We are all women - which by default makes us the strongest species. We work, run households, look after other children, take care of our spouses, we carry the stress of day to day life.

But, we are also all loved, and loved in return. We should be fucking proud of ourselves for our achievements and cut ourselves some slack, physically and emotionally we go through the ringer. This year hasn't helped anyone's mental state but yet we are here and carrying on.

Just wanted to say that I'm proud of each and every one of us. And as each new day comes there will be something in it to make us smile and be grateful for.

I'm so glad I found you lot as you've kept me sane and shared your experiences, been supportive and non-judgemental.

You're all incredible. Keep going ladies there are brighter days coming.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

@zippityzip next full moon os Thursday! Even my cat os acting weird!
Lovely words! It has been a tough year for everyone, and getting used to bad news all the time and living in fear really is shit. But what kind words to read this morning 💜💜

@Sausage1990 I believe it was @Bl0ndi3 who has returned to this thread, so you will be back with good news Im sure of that, but understand you need time to process and grieve. Thinking of you, even though I've never met you I feel like I know you so well! 💜

@zippityzip I was sold when you said we were the strongest species, I do believe were superior 😜

Lovely words: and very true! I say it all the time, I adore my dh but he only thinks of the task in hand whereas I’m planning the next twelve months all the time ! It’s so true, we are hard on ourselves. I defo am. It’s a hard habit to shake xxx

@zippityzip what a lovely thing to read 1st this morning 🌈 brighter days will come!

@blodyn91 I feel the same - we've never met but feels like friends. I will be back on the ttc bus and then onto another pregnancy thread... It may not be for a little while yet as my body & heart heals but we will have our rainbow baby. I will be keeping up to date as best I can with you guys when the time comes for me to go back to the ttc board but you're stuck with me for now.

This morning was hard because I got all my app notifications to say "your 11 weeks pregnant today" and all the updates on baby 💔 I can't quite face changing all the settings to "pregnancy loss/miscarriage"... Its just a button but I don't feel ready to do it yet. Baby is still inside me and it feels like I'm just dismissing her/his presence if I just cancel it all. God what a mix of emotions.

@Sausage1990 when I had my miscarriage what I needed was to delete everything, or most things at least. I unsubscribed from all emails baby related, I hid all pregnancy related ads on Facebook etc (you can do this via settings I think) I deleted most of my pregnancy apps or I hid them somewhere I wouldn't see them until I was ready but turned off notifications etc. I unfollowed anybody on social media who was pregnant or had newborns. I deleted any photos on my phone or "hid" them.

I had to leave this group because it was too hard for me to follow but I did keep watching it and saved the new threads so that when I was ready I could rejoin. I joined the TTC after MC thread on here though which was a help.

I cried at Everything baby related even strangers walking in the street with prams or adverts for nappies. It's ROUGH and the most horrible thing, but you will get through it, I promise you that.

Just don't force yourself to feel any particular way except how you want to feel in every moment and eventually you will go a day without crying then two days etc and you'll feel better. Me and OH sat and watched tv and films for like 3 days straight when it first happened - we watched the Eurovision movie the first night and we laughed and enjoyed that film so now that's like a fond memory because we love that film and my birthday card off him was related to it etc haha. I had family visit once and I just cried A LOT sometimes out of nowhere. I asked for space from anybody but my parents because I just couldn't Face the questions and I hate being coddled, my dad would just need me ❤️❤️❤️❤️ to let me know he was thinking of me but didn't message to say how are you because I'm not a big talker with my family so that was perfect for me... oh and I had 2.5 weeks off work but take off as long as you want to you will get given however long you ask for so don't be shy.

I felt a lot better by the time I was physically ready to start TTC again and focusing on TTC again helped me loads. Me and OH actually got so much closer after it. I am very lucky that I got to come back here so quickly but don't rush it you need to heal first ❤️ just know that you will be back here and hopefully soon xx

I, like the others, are here for you 100%, anytime so either message in here or private message any of us if you want time away from this thread / I do recommend that you do for a little while not because I want you to go but because I think you need it right now, it's hard to see other people pregnant - we're not going anywhere though lovely X

Sorry for the big rambling message I hope it helps somewhat ❤️

@Sausage1990 we understand if you need to take a break, we just hope you feel okay soon ❤️ xxx

@zippityzip what lovely words to wake up to! Thank you really made my morning

@Mrsi2020 @Mustbemad82 it's horrible having pregnancy anxiety..the further along I get the better I become so I'm sure you will be the same xx

@zippityzip lovely words ❤❤

@Sausage1990 you do whatever it is that u need to do. U know that if u need to pop in for a virtual cuddle we are all here waiting to give it to u ❤❤ xxx

I just had a nice exercise at work (boss is a bit hippy). I think, given that we've all struggled with 2020 as it's been an utter bastard of a year....
she's asked us to email what we hope to be doing this time next year. Even if it's just fantasy.

Soooooo

Hopefully by this time next year I'll have a 6 month old, and the two older DDs. Still on maternity leave (hopefully) and halfway through my degree - with some idea of how I'm doing.
Hopefully breastfeeding and just getting to the fun part of weaning. Also hoping that all that walking to and from school would mean I've lost the baby weight and I'm looking half decent again - not spotty and chunky.
Older kids doing well at school and looking at (Jesus Christ 😭) secondary schools.
Pinning my hopes on at least having had a holiday so I've got somewhat of a tan.

If during that 6 months I win the postcode lottery at last then we can start looking at houses to move and settle eldest DD.

COVID doesn't exist anymore and taxes didn't increase that much. Everyone is healthy and my work have decided as normal practise to halve the standard workload, plus pay increase to make up for all the shit I had to do during WFH.

DH has decided that he likes ironing and his job has become less stressful so we can actually have an evening together without him offloading his shit onto me.

So, everyone. How does life look like for you this time next year.....

@bl0ndi3 thank you for you message. It was really helpful. Really really helpful. I'm going to take your advice about the adds and email / notifications. I think finding a miscarriage thread may be helpful too. I cant quite think about ttc again just yet but I know in time it will be helpful to have that support. Knowing other have got through this and are pregnant again gives me hope. Brighter days will come 🌈

@zippityzip loved that! giggled about your OH ironing!

This time next year I would like to be married, and managed to with all my friends and family present as well as a 2 month old baba. So yes Corona will no longer exist, vaccine approved by Christmas, and its a total success.
We also managed to find a house, preferably before baby arrived, so now have a few sheep, few chickens and a shed full of calves to care for. I would be back at work- but company decided that 6 weeks maternity is very poor so they have changed their policies and now allow us 26weeks fully paid. Im still in touch with my work colleagues and customers as they are also my friends.
OH has decided that he would love to live in Wales so the new house is closer to my family and he has a new job closer to home. This new job pays so well we have a cleaner so I never have to do house jobs again!
Will I also have completed an Ironman race 5 months post giving birth? Maybe thats asking too much 😆
Last weekend I would have been on my hen do (post wedding because thats the new thing by 2021). I'd be drinking pink gin and champagne with all my besties, probably skinny dipping in the welsh sea sat night and regretting the booze on Sunday when I have to return home to a crying baby, who I synchronise vomit with after lunch.

@zippityzip haha love it!

So this time next year I hope:

To have a healthy little 4 month old and be settled into a routine and life as a mum
To maybe be engaged (wishful thinking but I've always told OH I want the same surname as my child!!!!
To be on maternity leave with no job worries and financially secure and just enjoying being a mum!
To not need to lose any baby weight because I never gained any 😂😂 or more realistically on my way to losing some of the weight!
Covid has gone and life is back to normal

Really simple for me tbh ❤️

This time next year I will have an almost 17 year old a 15 year old a 3 month old
I will defo not be depressed to wander goodbye to my size 8 muscular physique and will instead love and worship my lumpy bumpy bigger
I won’t care that jumping on the trampoline makes me wee my pants or that instead of a baby shower I will have held a wake for my pelvic floor

I will be happy for my health , my family and friends, (including those friends who I have only met via a keyboard ) xx

Had my scan at EPU, scary experience, EPU is not somewhere I'd like to be again feel so sorry for the ladies there in a lot worse situations than myself. But all is well with me and baba, he/she was happy wiggling around waving their legs all over the place ☺️ now looking forward to my dating scan on Monday as wasn't allowed a photo today so nothing to show OH.

@Ltay2 so haply to hear that, big relief for you! Can definitely enjoy the next few days now.

@Mustbemad82 keyboard friends 🥰

@Ltay2 so happy it went well for you! Congrats.

@zippityzip what a lovely message. That really did brighten up my day - thank you ❤️

Hope all you lovely ladies are doing amazing! I feel a little run down at work, so trying to rest as much as I can x

Great news @Ltay2

I've just booked all my AL for the two weeks before my mat leave will start, so I didn't use it, and so I can see on the calendar how long I have left!

Thank you all! Yes such a relief. I just need to tell my dad now as he doesn't know anything yet! I'm probably going to have to tell him over the phone with the local lockdowns as I don't want him to be the last to know when we eventually can meet up but it doesn't feel as special as when we told OH parents and my mum a few weeks ago in person (didn't tell my dad then as knew he couldn't keep it a secret 😂) and I don't even know what to say.. 'hi dad I'm having a baby' seems odd, maybe over thinking it 🙈

@Ltay2 congrats on the scan glad all went well! I agree epu can be so daunting especially when you see a lot of women coming out of the scan rooms in tears. How exciting to tell your dad! I think Hi Dad I'm having a baby is perfect 👍🏽

@FairyLights2 sorry to hear you are run down hopefully you get some good rest in xx

@Mococo1 Yeah it was really daunting, as I was going in there was a lady being wheeled out for surgery it was all very scary. I've just told my dad he's so excited to be a grandad! He was chatting away about other things so had to basically say 'dad I was ringing coz I had something to tell you... me and (OH) are having a baby, you're going to be a grandad' and he was saying how much he's always wanted to be a grandad etc etc he's very excited now 😂 I've just told my brother and my best friends too so everyone important in my life now knows which is nice!

@Sausage1990 so sad to hear your heartbreaking news 💔 thinking of you look after yourself x

@Ltay2 ahh that's great news ❤️

Yeah EPU isn't a nice place to be at all but so glad you came out with good news 😍