Is anyone else due on the 22nd may 2021?

[lenny12345]

Looking for someone to chat too? I'm due on 22nd of may by the online calculators.

Just wanted to speak with someone who's just found out their expecting too?

Feeling very anxious due to previously having misscarriages

Hi @Catisa oh I know how worrying it is. With my son 3 years ago I had a 1 in 21 chance. I then opted for the NIPT.

It's just screening, it's just a guess based off your age, nuchleal fold (my sons was 3.3mm) and your bloods.

Your risk is actually just 0.16%. Which means your chance of it not being downs is 99.84%!

@bloomety thank you so much for your message! It's true that when you look at it that way it seems a low risk!

Glad you aren't feeling too nauseous anymore @catisa! Same here - I am feel a lot more human now.

I don't think I'd be worried by those numbers, as @bloomety says, it's such a tiny risk! Appreciate why it's so scary though. Would getting a NIPT help put your mind at ease? I hear the NHs screening results aren't super reliable (and over estimate risk a lot of the time).

On another note, AIBU fellow mums-to-be? My PIL have said they're planning to book accommodation nearby us around my due date. They are so sweet but also not following Covid restrictions (which produces anxiety in me about then seeing our newborn baby come May if they are still not following guidelines then - most likely will not be) and also I'm not sure I want my in laws right there for the first few days and week? Aibu in my pregnancy hormomal state. DH just thinks it's nice they want to book that time near us, and it is, but I feel like we can't opt out of no early visitors and it will all be a bit overwhelming? Covid adds so many question marks, guidance is for babies to practice social distancing i.e. not being held by people other than parents, and my gut feeling atm is that I would like to stick to that to keep baby as safe as can be, at least for the first couple of weeks.

I know this is 6 months away so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

@CharlieD2020 I'd tell them to hold off booking, it's so far away you don't know covid restrictions, or if the baby will even be here then! They could book it for the week before it even arrives and miss the chance to see the baby completely.
I agree it's best to have some personal time as a family immediately after the baby arrives and I think it's perfectly reasonable to say to them you'd rather wait before booking anything like that.

Thanks @lucymagoo, that's true. Maybe I'll say that now and hope they haven't already booked. They're only an hour and a half's drive away anyway so again suggests they're wanting to be around a lot in the first week

@CharlieD2020 I understand completely. My in laws came to visit for a week when my son was just just 2 weeks old!! I pleaded with my husband to ask them to wait a few weeks but he didn't like to. It was fine actually when they were here, but I just thought it was a bit selfish. We needed that time and space as a family.

Also @CharlieD2020 when I did my hypnobirthing course, they told me it was normal for women not to want to let anyone hold the baby for a couple of weeks. It was a natural thing. That those first couple of weeks was about the family bonding with each other, and all the oxytocin (hormone) bonding us together. She told the men in the group that they had to be their partners advocate by saying no visitors in those first 2 weeks. See if you can find some backup material on google.

@CharlieD2020 oh that difficult. It really depends on what they are like and how comfortable you feel around them. When I had DD I was in hospital for a few days (emergency C section) so only had short visits from close family on those days. Then other visitors were fine as long as a) they were happy to help with providing food, tea etc b)it was someone I didn’t mind watching me breastfeeding and in my pyjamas c)they understood that I might need to nap and could take a hint of when to leave! - I was breastfeeding so nobody could hog the baby for any length of time and in all honesty when someone else was holding her and she was happy and settled I quite liked having the use of my arms/being able to give DH a cuddle etc.

In terms of COVID, who knows what will be happening at that time so try not to stress about it. You can make sure they know that you will be strictly sticking to any rules there are and you can also ask them to self isolate for 2 weeks before if they want to hold the baby if you are very worried- although early research doesn’t show any massive risk of a newborn suffering complications from COVID.

My advice would be to gently suggest that you might not be up to a lot of visits in the first week or 2 but suggest a date (maybe when DH goes back to work) that they can come and spend some quality time with the baby and you.

Considering they only live an hour and a half away I also think it seems like they are planning on being there a lot! When first reading I thought they lived in another country. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I won't be pre booking anyone in for visits. They will get pictures and will have to wait until I tell them I am happy for visitors. This is one of those times in your life when you get to put your self first. Your partner should definitely be supportive of that. If they wanted to come straight away for a quick visit I could understand that but coming to stay for a week! That's too much in my opinion and they aren't considering your needs as a family to have your time together to adjust and to bond.

I totally agree with all your comments, first it is normal to you want some alone time with your baby and father of the baby, getting to know each other a bit! Secondly with Covid you can never be 100% sure that is safe. It's better to minimize contacts.
I would speak with my husband and explain my concerns, get to an agreement together.

Thanks everyone! It's really helpful to get your thoughts and reassuring to know I'm not just overreacting majorly. Have chatted to DH so we will make a plan of action together :)

Feels so weird to think in 6 months time we will be having babies?!

Good luck!!
Yes, totally, super weird! I think I am still trying to process it and believe it...it's difficult when you don't feel much

@CharlieD2020 I totally agree. My sister when she had my nephew didn't let anyone come and see him until he was nearly 3 months!! That was killer but it was her choice and she didn't want anyone there until she said they could so we respected that.

This was nearly 4 years ago so well before covid.

It feels so weird that we will have babies in 6 months time 😂 I can't even fully comprehend that it's real, I now it is I've seen them but it still feels I'm going to wake up and it was all a dream.

Yeah I've had 3 scans now and it still feels unreal! I don't think it will seem real until I have a proper bump and can feel baby move.

On that note is anyone looking to get a kicks count band?? It's a wristband with numbers on it and a plastic slider so you can keep track of your baby's movements

Anybody tempted to buy things in the Black Friday sales? It seems WAY too early but also tempted to?

If its a good enough bargain and you've got room to store it why not

I'm tempted too but also want to go and try prams and things out before I buy and all the shops are shut.
Also hoping to move before baby arrives so depending on if we do/don't sell our flat we will need a different sleep set up and will have different pram priorities

Luckily a local pram shop has remained open but you had to book a time slot. So we went and tried them out and found the perfect one so we are going to order it after our 20 week scan.
Can totally understand you being hesitant with sleep set ups if you are looking to move, although will a pram priority change that much??
The pram is the only thing we've decided on when to get as we are going to wait for Christmas and a baby shower (hopefully we can have one) for most of the other stuff

@Serz88 yes we are currently in an upstairs flat with zero storage so the priority if we stay will be light/fold away small. We are hoping to move to a house where none of that would be an issue. But yes very tempting to make use of the Black Friday/January sales if you can!

Omg I'm so glad it's not just me! We are in a first floor flat and literally no storage room. So we are looking at moving to a house. Really tempted to buy things when I see a bargain but as others have said I want to try out some prams first and see what's suitable for the twins and me!

Also in an upstairs flat! Luckily we have a private entrance and can leave a folded up buggy in the downstairs hall rather than lugging it up the stairs.
Not blessed with loads of storage but we have some. Can’t afford a house in London just yet!!

Wanted to join in, also due May and also in an upstairs flat! Hope everyone’s doing ok. My morn f sickness is finally easing and way more energy this week – almost feel back to myself!

I'm also in a first floor flat with no storage 🙈 we'd love to move but won't be able to upgrade to a house for a while. My priority at the moment is saving to change my car as I have a small 3 door which is going to be a nightmare for me with a baby!

We live at the top of a hill with nowhere very good to walk nearby so I expect the pram will live in the car as we will rarely use it to walk anywhere too and from the house. My toddler will be 3 when the baby comes so I am hoping I can just get her a buggy board to move them both around together.

Morning! On my side I think we'll definitely go for one of these foldable prams, as we will travel regularly to visit our families in France and Spain. I think I want the Yoyo