Due end Nov/early Dec - Hello third trimester!

[MummyShark97]

Just making a new thread before we fill the other one up !

Horrible midwife day today 😭
There's a chance I lost some of mucus plug earlier in the week, so I'd phoned up and spoke to a lovely midwife who was reassuring but said they'd check me today. This midwife just said 'it wouldn't have been your plug, there's nothing we can do here, no point checking you with no other symptoms....'
Then she decided actually they'd send a vaginal swab off so I did one there and noticed blood so I told her and she just said 'oh, OK, well just keep an eye on it'.
THEN I explained that I'd been put on long term antibiotics now for repeat UTIs, by the doctor at the hospital and this midwife couldn't understand why, thought it was very unusual, she'd never heard of that before and made me feel like it was my fault! Now I don't know what to do 🙄
She was very dismissive, condescending and 'tick box'.
I just burst into tears when I got home and husband was ready to march down there and tell her what he thought!
I ended up phoning the maternity triage at the hospital who were much nicer and reassuring. That midwife was not what us emotional wrecks need right now!

Honestly.....some of these midwives are definitely in the wrong job.

I’ve had a crap experience today, too. Was supposed to have a face to face consultation with an anaesthetists (booked at my ‘booking in’ appointment) because I have a slight curve in my spine.

Got a call yesterday that it would be over the phone (how on earth they thought they could assess my spine over the phone?)

Anyway they basically said because they haven’t physically examined me I have to wait until I’m in labour for them to assess whether I will have difficulty with spinal injection.

I’m having a homebirth - so if I end up going to hospital it will be due to some sort of complication or medical need-in which case how will they know to examine my spine and have the time to do so?

I came off the phone processed it and realised that this is a very worrying plan. I called triage, who made me feel like a complete burden and said they will call back once they have spoken to consultant. No call back yet.

Total waste of time that has only resulted in worry.

@Jellycat2020 and @PipTed so sorry you e both had crap days. I was like that when I met my new consultant and just cried for ages when I got home.

I saw a totally different consultant today who was amazing and made me feel a million times better.

Hopefully neither of you need to run into those awful ones again. I don’t understand how people in a caring profession can often be so rude.

People with little kids already (mine is 13 months) how are you finding pregnancy with a little one? I’m exhausted, he’s just so busy! I’m out of breath so quickly now, and frankly I’m a bit afraid of throwing him around too much in case I hurt myself so I’ve become the boring mum who just reads books and sings and not all the fun stuff like daddy does. And I think he doesn’t find my body that comfortable anymore so even cuddles don’t last long. Really hope he’s going to be ok when he actually has a little sibling!

Sorry you ladies are having a crap time. Honestly my midwife was very disinterested. I've mentioned a few times about how worried I am about labouring so fast last time but it's just been brushed off so I've given up. I also noticed that she's ticked all these things on my notes she's apparently discussed with me like breastfeeding etc, In reality she's done no such thing.

Thanks guys, just needed to get it all out. You know when you just feel like you’re completely unheard?! I felt that big time today.

I’ve noticed my notes embellish reality a lot, and in other places they’ve forgotten to include kind of vital information. Like, blood group 😆 I’m like a broken record with that one I know!

I wonder when our midwives will start showing interest? Maybe when we start our birth plans?!

What’s everyone else using for heartburn?? Mine has been bad the last few days. I have a few good days then it comes back so bad 😩

@PipTed- I’m sorry about your day- that does sound rubbish. How many weeks are you? That’s interesting that they booked your consultation in at the booking in.

I had surgery for a curvature of the spine when I was younger and I’ve kept asking what’s going to happen re. pain relief/birth options from the booking in onwards and they just keep saying I should hear from a consultant/ anaesthetist soon. I’m now 30 weeks and haven’t heard a thing- getting a bit panicky.

I can’t stand the thought of them saying the same thing- having a last minute look or even worse jabbing away at my back trying unsuccessfully to get anything in there. Getting through labour is scary enough!

Hope your backaches haven’t been too bad. Mine have suddenly got unbearable!

@Babyhope98 rennies when I’m out and about, and I have a massive bottle of gaviscon in the kitchen and by the bed. I’m just swigging from the bottle at this point!

I’ve also noticed things in my notes that don’t make any sense/have appeared out of nowhere!

@BG1234 I’m 29 weeks.

It was only spotted a year or so ago and was awaiting referral before I fell pregnant. So we don’t know it’s severity, not sure it’s a major issue as it has only been noticed in adult life. But the reason it was, is due to the backaches!

Yes I understand your worry, I would keep pestering your midwife. It was
Good that they’d booked the appointment, I agree, but it just felt today that they couldn’t be arsed and used covid as an excuse.

What’s the point in an appointment if they’re not going to do anything until
Labour anyway? It was booked as a precautionary measure. I’m not standing for it and will raise my concerns at the next midwife appointment.

Backaches haven’t been too bad, I have about one day a week where I feel like my back is broken though. I think I would have felt worse if I was working full time - the pandemic has its pros!

Sorry to hear yours aren’t so good! How are you going about relieving backache?

@PipTed- yes, I’d be annoyed with that too- seems like a complete waste of your and their time and all it does is create more anxiety.

I was lucky I got away with very little backache until about a week ago. I thought maybe I wouldn’t be too badly affected after all until it hit! Now it seems I’ve had it pretty much every day and it’s really strong like I’d usually get after the busiest day ever, even though I’m just sitting around wfh. So far I’ve tried a birthing ball and various stretches, yoga stretches, hot water bottle on it all the time, and I’ve ordered a support belt which should be arriving tomorrow. Hope that will help!
Like you I’ve no idea how I’d be managing if I was back at work full-time!!!

@PipTed also I’ve got my partner to rub tiger balm into my back- that does help but I know you’re not supposed to use too much in pregnancy.

More embellishments over here! 😂 She also said today 'You're all fine emotionally? Good' Tick ✅ barely waiting for an answer...
Heartburn - Gaviscon, liquid at home, tablets when out. I'm also drinking it straight from the bottle when I need to!
Backache - yep, I got it regularly before pregnancy and it is slightly worse now but I was told not to use heat packs or hot water bottle 😔 so just been relying on massage and plenty of pillows at night.

I know exactly what you mean about ticking boxes!!

Up until she had the concern about the heartbeat at my appointment on Monday I felt like the midwife was rushing sooooo much!!

At the very end of the day I did see an absolutely lovely midwife though which made up for it.

Midwifery is such a lovely job I think it just doesn't fit when they're unkind 😳! Hope everyone is okay.

Thinking of you @nearlyamummyof2boys

They seem completely stretched and it’s always a rush but it’s not nice to be made to feel like you’re not being listened to. My experience is minor compared to what I’ve just read above!

@BG1234 Definitely. It’s just caused worry - that’s possibly unnecessary. 🙈

Glad it’s not been troubling you too much! Just ten more weeks to cope 😊 and it’ll definitely be worth it.

Ahh yes husband massages are really helping too, as well as the ball. I’d never heard that about tiger balm, usually I just use stretch mark body butter. 🤣

Agree with others that when you get a good midwife you feel so safe and have a lovely experience, it’s such a shame that they can’t all be the same. They are under a lot of pressure, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of their patients.

Has anyone been finding it difficult to sleep on their left side all night? I'm usually a back sleeper and was just getting used to sleeping on left and right sides but now I've been told to sleep on my left and I'm up half the night with leg cramps and a blocked left ear 😫

@danielasummer

Has anyone been finding it difficult to sleep on their left side all night? I'm usually a back sleeper and was just getting used to sleeping on left and right sides but now I've been told to sleep on my left and I'm up half the night with leg cramps and a blocked left ear 😫

Yes! It's impossible to get comfy enough to sleep at the moment. My back really aches and I usually sleep on my back with a pillow under my knees.

Trying to sleep on my left is really uncomfortable and I keep waking for a wee or a pillow reshuffle.

@MrsSmith2020 it's so hard isn't it! I keep waking up with really bad leg pain and having to stand up and do some stretches, which then wake me up even more so I'm awake loads during the night. Have you tried a pregnancy pillow? I have one but I still get the pain.

[quote danielasummer]@MrsSmith2020 it's so hard isn't it! I keep waking up with really bad leg pain and having to stand up and do some stretches, which then wake me up even more so I'm awake loads during the night. Have you tried a pregnancy pillow? I have one but I still get the pain. [/quote]
Sleep deprivation is the worst!

I have a pregnancy pillow but most nights I throw it out of the bed in a rage

I think I might book a pregnancy massage for next week- anything to help
Ease the back ache.

@danielasummer yes every night I wake up so much. But I try to stay on my left side most of the night but if I wake up with the pain in my leg I switch to the right for a bit I think as long as you are on the side better than back, it’s impossible to stay there all night my legs agony x

NHS website says it's best to sleep on your side but doesn't say left is better over right.

I know there is information out there about left being superior for blood flow etc but personally found it reassuring that NHS advice is just for side sleeping. ❤️

Thanks @MummyShark97 🥰 I just find it amazing and absolutely infuriating reading about the bad care you guys have all received I'm angry for all of us and all pregnant ladies out there!
I know it's the virus and the NHS is stressed but seriously why would you go into being a midwife just to tick boxes!

It's annoying cause some of them (like my new one finally) are actually amazing and almost life changing when someone understands so the other ones bring them down!

I'm really going to look into it when my babies are older cause I feel like I can maybe put my bad experiences to good?!

@excitednerves I know exactly what you mean - I'm terrified of hurting myself when I play with my son - he's 12 months and am so tired making me scared of how I'll be when I have two! We're also still in PILs house have asked our vendors to move into temp. accommodation now while their purchase finally catches up!

I've been booked in for my inducement (is that the right word? Lol) on November 4th it sounds super scary apparently the contractions are more intense? Has anyone been induced? I think I'm glad I'm having it so I'm not waiting around for contractions!

I hope everyone is doing ok today - my midwife said something lovely to me she said we don't want our pregnancies to be all about the negative - we want to just enjoy it and remember the joy it will end with. I know it's so hard with all of this going on! But we will all have lovely cuddly babies soon 😘🥰😍