Catching up - TTC After Miscarriage part 3

[BecsterG]

Hi Ladies, just setting up a new thread as we're almost at the end of the current one. Let's move over when it's full.

Xx

@TerribleImagination I don't have social media other then this but I saw what had happened to her this morning, it was in the guardian online and BBC news. Its devastating to see that photo of her isn't it?

Poor woman, what she's been through is so horrible. I personally thought all power to her and John for sharing the photos of her, I wouldn't be strong enough to have my photograph taken in their circumstances. I think it's brave and very unusual for making their loss public and sharing their pain. I know it will upset many people, and I feel sad that I suspect a lot of those people will be women who have been through the same heartache and loss, I hope we can unite over this as women, we each need to do grief and pain in our own way, no way is wrong, I hope she is not judged but I know she will be. We are so used to hiding this part of our journeys of being women.

I know it will remind us of our losses, especially the women who have had to give birth like she did to their babies. But we are aloud to grieve again, it is ok to feel triggered and have a really bloody lousy day or week, whenever we need. Re visiting the grief over and over is torture I won't disagree with that! But it's ok to feel sad about this and to have a duvet day @TerribleImagination and not continue with your nursery bits, it's healthy to down tools sometimes and just be. Rest, feel your baby, and make yourself a cup of tea. We don't have to be strong all the time 💜

@ChampooPapi Yeah she’s getting bashed from people saying she shouldn’t be taking photos and sharing them. What nasty people 😔 I agree with you that I think it’s really brave of her to do that. I think we all agree that baby and pregnancy loss needs to be not such a taboo subject, and this will hopefully help people to feel they can open up more about it.

I took a break for lunch and baby girl is having a good old wriggle! So I’m gonna crack on and get her nursery looking lovely for her ❤️ I’m back at work off furlough next week (finally), so getting it done so I can have some chill days again before going back 😍

Oh balls your back at work @TerribleImagination next week. I keep thinking everyone is not working and living in a state of half pupation like myself! I hope to emerge a butterfly but finding it increasingly unlikely.

Sometimes just posting here and speaking the loss aloud again helps a lot. Keeping it inside is very difficult at the best of times but at moments where we are totally transformed to that place again, that place where we found out, or that place where we came home from the hospital.... It's really good for us to talk again and to share.

@ChampooPapi @TerribleImagination i wanted to say this today but was worried it would trigger some ladies here.
Literally my heart broke when i read her update.
I felt so so sad and i got so super scared for my pregnancy but i got over it.
But i honestly admire the woman for sharing this. Because this is the reality. It fucking hurts and it's not pretty. It's not all unicorns and rainbows or whatever that saying is and whatever social media like to portray.

Very brave of them to expose themselves.
But i hope it won't be too much of a trigger for ladies here 💕💕

I hadn't heard about what happened but just looked her up. How awful 😢.

I'm still at the hospital. The twins are being absolute madams and wriggling so much that they didn't meet the criteria within the hour on the ecg readings/monitor. So they sent me for a walk and now I'm back waiting to be hooked up for another hour - joys! They also did an internal examination of my cervix and luckily there was no fluid and my cervix is still closed. I'm just hoping they can then give me an explanation for the period pain/back ache and send me home SOON!!

Today has been a bit manic so hadn’t read the thread before I posted my scan update! @MilsCookie so pleased you went to get checked and sounds positive, hopefully they’ll let you go soon!
@Babyghirl I’m not sure what’s happened (just about to catch up on the other thread) but sounds like you’re going through a tough time, I’m so sorry xx

@SunnySideUp2020 no we’ll have a surprise I think unless my children pester me so much to find out (which I imagine they will!). I found out with my first as was desperate to know and had a surprise with the other 2 which I loved so I think both ways are amazing! We will see 🙂

Lots to catch up on! I have to admit I turned the TV off when it came on earlier about their loss, I'm more anxious now in these last few weeks than previously, I can't shift the feeling that something is going to go wrong so I couldn't watch the report about it! I'm glad they are raising awareness etc as it feels like such a taboo subject, and my heart broke for them, the photos 💔

@scrumdiddly123, wonderful news!

@MilsCookie, hope everything is OK and you're soon home.

I was sent to hospital by my community midwife again today as babys heart rate was tachycardic again 😩 3rd time!

4 weeks to go, 4 weeks to go....

@ChampooPapi I'm good thanks although still struggling with morning sickness, just not as bad! Was hoping that would be gone by now! I've my appointment on Monday with consultant, it will be face to face so really hoping they let me hear a heartbeat as it seems so long to wait until next scan! Harmony results were good and opening the gender letter next week too. they are just in the kitchen..it's so hard not to look but it's something to look forward to😊Hope you are feeling a bit more comfortable, carrying twins sounds absolutely exhausting!!

@Babyghirl I'm so sorry to read you are having cramps and bleeding, I really hope it's not what you think it is. Thinking of you.xx

@scrumdiddly123 aw that's a gorgeous scan pic!! Onto the second trimester now..yay!!

@SunnySideUp2020 aw a girl💕! Such great news! I'm the same, think it will all seem more real to me once we know the gender!

@MilsCookie glad to hear things going on at the hospital, hope they get to the bottom of the cramps and you get to go home soon.xx

Finally allowed to go home after 6 hours 🤦🏼‍♀️ luckily everything is fine, cervix is closed and babies passed the criteria on the ctg tests. Frustrating to have been in so long but glad I got checked for my own peace of mind.

Hope you're okay @BS9790 and not in for as long as I was! These babies like to keep us on our toes! X

@MilsCookie good! But what happened? What were those cramps?

@milsCookie, glad you're home.
We're home too... Until next week I'm sure 🤣

Did they say what caused the cramps? I've had cramps all pregnancy and still get them now, so scary aren't they x x

@SunnySideUp2020 @BS9790 they said the cramps must just be my uterus expanding and stretching again (so hopefully that means the girls are having another growth spurt!) I've had cramps on and off throughout but they just felt particularly bad last night. They said the sharp stabbing feeling I was getting was round ligament pain and they don't worry about that. They said if I experience a tightening sensation (Braxton Hicks) and it's also painful then to call again to be seen as that could signify pre-term labour. So stressful! Glad you're home BS9790 and I really hope you're not back there now until you're giving birth!! x

Glad youre both OK @MilsCookie and @BS9790, sorry you are feeling anxious @bs9790 - if you break it down into days rather than weeks it should trick your brain into feeling like its less time too. Either way you are on the home straight, there really isn't too much to go!
Hope you are feeling less sick soon @Leok83
My heart broke for Chrissy too, she had been so open about her pregnancy and problems. Its left me feeling anxious and sad but thats OK and normal - I'm pleased more people in the media are discussing their losses as its such a big part of so many peoples lives.

Glad everything was okay @MilsCookie and @BS9790. These last weeks are turning out to be as difficult as the first ones, aren't they?

I woke up in agony with pain across the top of my bump yesterday, to the point where I struggled to breathe. Called the midwife, and she said to take codeine and call back if it didn't settle.

Thankfully by about 11 it was not as painful. I think it was muscle strain from overdoing it at the beginning of the week, and I need to take it a bit easier now.

That, combined with being exhausted, and seeing about Chrissy Teigan, meant that I was panicking all yesterday. Despite lots of movement, I convinced myself that baby wasn't going to make it through the night

She is happily wriggling away this morning, and my bump only hurts if I am stood up, so I'm going to spend today resting, finish packing my hospital bag and try to catch up on some sleep.

Just caught up and really relieved everything was okay @MilsCookie and @BS9790, you have both actually had your fair share of worry, you just need to have your babies here safe, obviously not too soon but a crystal ball to know the future and that everything works out well wouldn't go amiss!

@Leok83 the sickness is so debilitating, even when it's eased off a lot since the actual days of death, it's still so horrible, especially as you are expected to do more and yet you feel just so crap, it does drag on often and did for me too, it does get increasing better but other things like tiredness do kick in too, just take every opportunity to rest and do things for you.

I'll update the list when you find out the sex of your little one so I can add it 🥰

Back in hospital after wiping red blood about an hour and a half ago 😣😞

Oh @MilsCookie what a worry for you! Hope things are looking ok, keep us updated x

Oh @MilsCookie sending you lots of positive thoughts! What a rubbish week for you. Every day done is another day down though 💞 really hope all ok with your little madams.

@FireflyGirl sorry you have had a rubbish few days too - bump pain can be so awful, hope it has eased a lot now.

I'm also finding things a bit tough at the min, I think my hormones are ramped up plus I'm exhausted, plus a lot of focus on baby loss in the media. There's been a lot of tears this week for someone who rarely cries. Finding the pandemic a bit overwhelming now, im still trying to distance whereas most of my friends and family aren't (tho they are generally following the guidelines - you can't distance when you go out for dinner!). So i feel a bit isolated but unsure if im being OTT. Restrictions still very much in place at my hospital too which is making me feel very anxious about birth and afterwards. What a year this has been!!!

Sending you lots of love, @MilsCookie 💕❤💕

@Whiffle77 I'm in the same situation - avoiding all unnecessary contact with everyone. I haven't seen my friends since February, they've gone out tonight to celebrate two of their birthdays (socially distanced), and I'm sat at home feeling sorry for myself.

I wonder about being ott too, but I remember DM looked after DS while I had a viability scan and I thought the same thing then when I insisted it was outside at the park, but 2 days later the country went into lockdown and a week later DM started with symptoms. She was never formally diagnosed, but had all the symptoms that they have since identified so we're pretty sure she had it.

I'm trying not to think about giving birth - it's not pushing a baby out that worries me, it's if DH can't be there to advocate for me if needed! I hope to stay at home as long as possible and escape as soon as we've both been checked afterward.

On a different note, has anyone who has had the flu jab found they've been really light headed and nauseous since? It's been 2 days and I thought it would have gone off by now!

@MilsCookie
Sending hugs x
Hope you and your girlies are doing alright 💕💕

Oh @MilsCookie I hope you’re ok lovey ❤️ Sending you loads of love

Thanks ladies. I'm having to stay overnight 😔 they had pretty much told me everything was fine. Ctg monitoring was fine on both babies, they're both active, they checked my cervix and no bleeding coming from the womb. They saw a bit of thrush (which I did think I might have) and the doctor said the bleeding was probably irritation from that. So they said they had to just double check with a senior doctor before sending me home. Next thing I know the senior doctor wants me to stay!! I sobbed 😭 I felt so ridiculous for crying but I just didn't feel prepared and my DP had been waiting in the car for me all afternoon and I had to tell him to go home without me. The senior doctor said a bit of bleeding can sometimes be a sign of TTTS so they have to keep me in and check me again and then they'll scan me in the morning.

This pregnancy is so bloody stressful! I just want my babies to be okay 😔. Sorry for moaning a lot on here recently!

@Whiffle77 I'm sorry you're having a tough week too lovely. These really are strange times we're living in, and being pregnant just heightens the anxiety!! You're definitely not being OTT (or you @FireflyGirl) it's always best to be on the safe side. Sending you a big hug 🤗 xxx