Catching up - TTC After Miscarriage part 3

[BecsterG]

Hi Ladies, just setting up a new thread as we're almost at the end of the current one. Let's move over when it's full.

Xx

Hope you are feeling better today @MrsB16. I feel similar with other peoples births, it makes me paranoid that that means I am less likely to bring home a healthy baby! Its horrible the tricks your mind plays on you, but you are not alone.
@AlviesMam not had experience but I think they can develop/be made worse if you dont go to the loo very often. I had a few weeks of struggling but have started drinking prune juice now and things are a lot better!! Pregnancy is so glam.
Hope you went for the takeaway @BecsterG! 24 hour shifts sounds ridiculous - for you and him!! Hope you manage to arrange some time out for you somehow, it isn't easy at the minute.

Thanks @Whiffle77. Didn't get a take away but had fish cakes which were in the freezer so nice and easy. Take away tonight maybe ha ha

Unfortunately he has to do a big shift every 4 days. This is his weekend off but he only has 4 left before I'm due and then non until after paternity leave.

Hi all

Woken up feeling a little better today, had a big cry about it all yesterday as I needed to get it out of my system.

My friend had her baby and all is well. I’m struggling with what to do really, I want to be a good friend but since 5pm last night I’ve had over 20 videos and pictures of her with the baby and obviously it’s lovely to see but I feel it’s a bit too much and she’s rubbing it in my face. I don’t know whether I’m being too sensitive, my husband is asking me not to message her back so much as he thinks for my own well being seeing her with her baby is not helping me with my state of mind but I just don’t know really.

All I want is my baby here alive and I know I’m reality I will no longer be pregnant within the next 3 weeks but it’s true what they say in the last few weeks of pregnancy every day feels like a week! I just need my baby here now. I have an appointment with the midwife and the mental health team on Wednesday when I will be 39+3 and I’m going to ask whether they will already book my induction date because I feel for my anxiety levels I need to know when this is going to end. I don’t want to get to 42 weeks as I think my anxiety about the placenta failing will
Just be too much

@MrsB16 pleased you're feeling a little better.

Could you not say to your friend how lovely it is to see her pictures and video updates but it's giving you anxiety that everything is going to be ok with you? You're still there for your friend and I'm sure she'll understand that you are very anxious at this late stage?

@MrsB16 does she send them on WhatsApp? Could you mute the conversation and only look at them when you feel comfortable doing so? You could tell her that that's what you're doing, if you feel you need to.

@MrsB16 yes maybe actually go the full hog and block her on whatapp, if she asks say your phone is playing up. You can unblock her when you've had your baby and she'll never actually know. You can also say your phone is being funny about receiving videos/photos through messaging , be a bit vague and you'll literally not have to deal with it anymore. This is what I'd do 🥰

@MrsB16 Trust me she will be sending the videos and photos to more people then just you so she really won't require your response now anyway after the initial support you've offered and gushing I'm sure you've done already over her newborn so your work is done now, it's a liberating thing to do, might seem cowardly but I even do it with family/parents sometimes. I just block then for a few weeks and reinstate them and they are non the wiser. If I've missed messages they don't seem to care of if they mention it I just say my watsapp/phone has been playing up. The joys of technology that make you ever contactable can be reversed by this gem of knowledge that you can just lie! It's ok to do this and no one gets hurt and you don't have to actually deal with explaining 'oh I'm just really depressed at the moment' or 'oh I just can't deal with YOU currently' 🙏

@MrsB16
I would just ignore the messages.
I doubt she will chase a response. And if she does you can just be honest and say you are having a rough day and will get back to her when you can.
And just watch the pics/videos and reply when you feel better...

Wow! 20 photos and videos is a bit excessive! I don't think I even sent that many to my mum! Was too busy recovering from a csection and looking after my baby!

I agree with Champoo, time for your WhatsApp to develop issues!

I’m having to mute her now. I’ve tried to be a good friend but she keeps saying how disheartened she is that she isn’t home yet and I snapped and said I was disheartened that I still wasn’t holding my baby and know everything is alright yet. She then respond with a present of her push present. I’m done!

@MrsB16 good for you , I suggest a block rather then mute though as you'll still see those delivered messages whenever you go on whatapp for any thing else yourself, you want to be able to check it for your own support network too lovely. Even if it's just for a week, just do it for a breather!

Good for you @MrsB16. She's not listening at all. Way to caught up in her own worlds I agree what she's sent is excessive. I only sent two photos out when I had my son.

If muting doesn't work, defo block her for a bit. She's being really insensitive. X

Sorry to hear about your friend @MrsB16. Like all the other ladies have said, I'd just mute - I'd have thought you'd be in your own little bubble waiting for people to ask you for photos rather than sending 20 out to people. Sending you hugs 💖

Alsoooo, to update you lovely lot, I had my gender scan on Saturday and I'm having a BOY 💙💙

@mlax congratulations lovely 💜 a baby boy 👣 just another few weeks and you'll be going to your 20 week scan too. Can you put you gestation as of today and due date and I'll list you up tomorrow!

@MilsCookie only one more sleep until our next scans 😬🤞

@MrsB16 you poor thing it sounds like you are having such a rough time of it right now and your friend is really not helping. I would definitely block her too..you don't need this right now and you need to concentrate on you and staying positive. Xx

@mlax congratulations!! I remember your name from the earlier threads alright!

I literally feel like I've been to hell and back (just about) over the last week! Was at a communion last weekend and DH's niece had a cold (she's 7)..we were staying with them and her parents did nothing to keep her away from anyone and encouraged her to kiss and hug everyone. Of course I got it and added to morning sickness I just about thought I'd die..coughing so much I kept puking all weekend. I was looking forward to things easing at 12 weeks! Thank god im not working until Wednesday and feeling more human today. I'm really annoyed at DH's sister now and he just doesn't get it. I said we could have stayed elsewhere like a band b if I'd known she was sick but he said that would be weird..really bugs me that he doesn't seem to have any clue of the shit I've gone through over the last few days. Am I being unreasonable being annoyed at them?? Especially at the mo with covid and all the precautions we are supposed to be taking.

Congratulations on your little boy, @mlax.

@Leok83 not unreasonable at all! Even without a pandemic I would not want have wanted a poorly child sharing germs with me in early pregnancy! They clearly have no sense!!

Oh gosh @MrsB16 I'm sorry your friend is so incredibly insensitive! It seems odd she is so desperate to send you so many pictures, especially now you have said how you feel. You are doing the right thing by ignoring her for a bit, she will have her hands full anyway. It won't be long for you now until you meet your little one
Congrats @mlax
Absolutely not unreasonable @Leok83 I'm still distancing from everyone, even though most people I know are pretty lax at it. But even without a pandemic I would hope people would stay away from me when ill, I don't want to be ill on top of being pregnant! Not fun. If you have been coughing so much have you had a covid test? Hope you are feeling much better today!

@mlax congratulations. Welcome to the boy club! 💙

@Whiffle77 I was definitely going to call GP today based on how I was yesterday but have settled a lot today. Just have a normal productive cough now and not vomiting. It started with sore throat, sneezing and sinus congestion so has all the markers of a normal head cold..think just feels all the more severe being thrown in on top of morning sickness joy!

Thank you Ladies.
Of course @ChampooPapi I am now 15+5 and EDD 03/03/2021 xxx

@MrsB16 so sorry you’re having a rough time and your friend is adding to it! Sounds very excessive sending so many photos!
Congratulations @mlax a baby boy! How lovely
Hope you can have a restful couple of days @Leok83 and feel better soon!

@MrsB16 You poor thing! Your friend sounds like hard work 😐 I’d deffo be muting that conversation! You’re more important just now and you don’t need anything making you feel more anxious.

Ahh congrats @mlax! That’s lovely news! ❤️

@Leok83 Eurgh that sounds SO rotten! I’d have been the same as you, I’d have actively avoided trying to get a cold too. The early pregnancy sickness is bad enough without a stinking cold on top of it! Glad you’re starting to come out of it now though.

Congrats @mlax! 💙💙💙💙

@Leok83 i would be fuming too. I am already when DPs relative are not social distancing with me even if i am not sick!!! This is my worst nightmare currently.
That and DP constantly touching his face outside the house with not to clean hands 🥴
Hope you feel better soon x

So i made a post but will ask to you ladies as i know some of you already have kids!
Can i live in a flat with only one bedroom with a baby for a year? Or is it going to be nightmare?

@SunnySideUp2020 one bedroom wouldn’t bother me as I tend to keep my babies in with me for the first year anyway (much easier when up all need breastfeeding!) but I suppose depends on how big the rest of the flat is as babies come with so much stuff 🤣
My concern would be getting out and about with the baby, where would the pram be stored, is there a lift? If you had shopping bags and baby in a car seat for example would you be able to manage? Thats what I would be thinking about anyway xx