No Baby Shower thanks!

[kidsareok]

Hi! Just wondering if there's anyone out there the same as me!! I'll start by saying - I have nothing against baby showers, I've been to a few and they were very pleasant. However, I do not want one at all! People keep asking me about it and I've categorically said no - my partner doesn't understand (he's very much one of these people who likes to do what other people do 🙄) but I'm just not up for it. I've never liked being the centre of attention, I don't like the idea of mixing families and friends in one room (I have some judgemental family members and also, dare I say it, some bratty children in my in laws family who will be judged 🙄), I don't like forced fun so the games and stuff will just be a bit cringe and I don't want everyone to feel like they have to get me stuff. I also have strong views on 'pink for girls/blue for boys' and I just don't want any kind of stereotypical gender reveal or baby shower banter. I also think sitting in a room talking about baby related things is a bit boring 🙈. I'm looking forward to having my little one but I am also really adamant that I retain my own interests and personality - and for me baby showers just seems a bit too 'Mumsy'. Do I sound selfish? I don't mean to - for me it would be a situation where I spent the whole time wishing it was over! I would much rather see people when the baby is born and then go out for some cocktails with my mates after the baby arrives!

Thank you for this post. I don't want one and my friends seem shocked and it's hard to say no, especially when they have all had them and I went! I have never really enjoyed baby showers, and started to very much not enjoy them while I was going through infertility and IVF. Obviously if I say that they will know I didn't enjoy theirs so I can't really be completely honest about my reasons why. I don't want people to buy me things, and I hate the thought of anyone feeling like they have to come then feel utterly shit like I did, and most importantly I don't want to celebrate until my baby is here safely.

I’m pregnant with my first baby & not keen either!
I’ve got lots of individual friends rather than a big group & that suits me so everyone coming together feels weird. I feel the same way about organised fun too...no thank you!
Plus I totally get what you’re saying about pink & blue too, I feel the same way.

I'm American and I didn't have a baby shower. My sisters and friends offered, but I don't like being the center of attention. I'm also not a big fan of babies. I mean, I'm obviously a fan of my own now that he's here, but the idea of gathering with a group of women and talking about babies and baby things for a whole afternoon sounded (and still sounds) very boring to me.

Now, that said, I don't think baby showers are grabby if done correctly as a PP said, they should not organized by the mother-to-be, they should only be for a first baby. The purpose is to celebrate not only the new arrival but also the woman's transition to motherhood. The gifts shouldn't be extravagant they're simply to help offset the expenses that come with having a baby and to help the mother-to-be with upcoming challenges.

I also see the logic in celebrating before the birth. Maybe this is a cultural thing, but no one I know has wanted to host visitor after visitor shortly after giving birth. Everyone has either accidentally or purposefully done "the month". The mother needs time to recover and rest and get to know her baby, and the baby needs time to become a little more comfortable with the outside world.

I was very lucky, I absolutely didn't want any kind of baby shower at all so my lovely friend arranged a surprise spa weekend break away for loads of my friends. We all jacuzzi'd and I bobbed about like a beached whale 🐋 and then had a lovely meal. It was great as I got to see everyone as "me" not "new mum" and they all loved it as they got a spa day and left their kids at home!

I avoided having one although lovely American DSil was keen to throw me one. I just don’t like them or gender reveals. Why not wait until you have had your baby and then let people know whether you are now the proud parents of a girl/boy.