BFP through IVF. Thread to calm the nerves!

[BeHereNowx32]

Hi!
I very recently got my positive result after a FET. (This is my second child. First one conceived through a fresh cycle). Just wondered anyone in a similar position wanted to join, and help keep us calm until scan day!

I am only 4+2 weeks. Still so, so early. Can’t wait for my 7 week scan!

Yay @Lemongrass1 congratulations 🥳 hope all is ok with you. That’s a good weight for twins. 😀

I’m ok fed up and want baby now.

Just lost my shit with DH. The kitchen needs tidying from yesterday and I said should I leave it until after midwife appointment or do it now. He said leave it until tomorrow (when he is working). We didn’t do it last night as had to take things to MIL who is in hospital which is a 2 and a half hour round trip.

I said I can’t do that to which he replied that it’s coz I want him to do everything like always. That was it that lit the fuse for me.

He knows I am struggling standing and bending over sink as it hurts my back but still wants me to do it.

We need to have a serious chat later when I have seen midwife as I’m not putting up with this. I think he has this notion that when baby comes and I’m on maternity leave that I will be in a holiday and do all in the house and look after baby.

Sorry for vent am very hormonal and seriously ( quite rightly) pissed off. He is normally lovely but we have different upbringings especially around male roles in the home.

@thefishthatcouldwish

Honestly just to warn you If I thought I hated my DH when I was pregnant I really hated him once the twins arrived! Throwing sleep deprivation and especially sleep envy into the mix is a deadly and explosive combination

I had a very traditional Upbringing in terms of male roles in the house (my mother was a STAHM) but I'm the total opposite.....I do all the decorating, DIY, gardening and the main earner as well as 99% of the child raising. I realised with my DH that if I want something doing (and to my standard) I have to do it myself

Today whilst the twins have napped Ive put up this shelving system thing and built a timber boxing around some plumbing 🤣

But it also means my DH has become very lazy and complacent and I blame myself 🤦‍♀️

Don't be afraid to bloody tell him if you need help - if he says no send him home to his mothers - I've also done that in the past 🙈

Thanks @andivfmakes3 I think sleep envy will give me rage. Have told him in no uncertain terms that when baby arrives he has got to help me.

Hope you and twins are doing ok.

Quick question about IVF pregnancy.

Did your DM tell all and sundry about IVF? My mum has which has got to me. I dunno why because it’s not a secret as such. Not sure how I’m feeling about it.

@thefishthatcouldwish

Quick question about IVF pregnancy.

Did your DM tell all and sundry about IVF? My mum has which has got to me. I dunno why because it’s not a secret as such. Not sure how I’m feeling about it.

I think my mother was the opposite to be honest - she almost seemed embarrassed by it (although I lost both tubes to ectopics so had no choice) - she is very much of the generation that "accepted your lot" and doesn't agree with the science of it all (she once suggested if I had gone to church more maybe I wouldn't have had so many miscarriages 😡)

Obviously with having twins everyone asks if twins are in the family and I'm very open about IVF and I tell everyone! In fact lots of strangers have then admitted they had IVF or their children have (men especially) and it's been good to talk about it

Jesus the church thing would get to me!! I mean If a simple prayer did the trick there would be no need for Fertility clinics would there?!

I think coz it’s male factor and sperm donor I’m thinking more about my DH. The woman in question said ‘well x who is my cousin had a baby through that ivf and you wouldn’t know by looking she looks just like he dad really.’

Maybe it’s the comment. Have never said not to say if you see what I mean.

@thefishthatcouldwish

Yup my mother is one of the most insensitive people I know!

Does your mum tell people about using a donor!? Christ I wouldn't be happy if she went around telling everyone that! I'm all for being open about the process but there's definitely some part of it that needs to stay a bit private

Well based on the comment yes I would say she has.

Thing is with my mother she will deny it so going to have to work out how to say something. It’s something that we will tell little one but on our terms.

@thefishthatcouldwish

My Mother would deny it too - I tend to have to deal with it by saying "just to be clear if you discuss x at any point I don't want you saying y"

Huge congratulations @Lemongrass1 sounds like they're doing really well, wishing you a speedy recovery

Youre so close @thefishthatcouldwish! not suprised your OH is annoying you, late pregnancy is bloody tough.

We had our first post birth row today, I hadn't acknowledged his cold sufficiently infected csection wound and exclusively breastfeeding can't possibly compare to such horrors I'm sure...

DD is 3 weeks now and just lovely, think we are slowly finding our feet but it has been hard. Lots of emotions certainly. I found the video of her as an embryo earlier which blew my mind that she's now a real person.

Time is flying @andivfmakes3 hope the weather perks up for you to enjoy some time before returning to work

@Parkandride

My husband had his covid vaccine the other day and took to his bed for 2 days to "Pre empt" any symptoms 🤔 - whilst I ran around looking after 3 children under 5! On a plus note I've been watching lots of documentaries about women who kill their husbands and feel confident I'd get away with it and even if I did get caught they most likely give me a sainthood for putting up with him!

Aww @Parkandride how could you not acknowledge his suffering 🙄. I think that’s a man thing. The other man thing I notice is if I say oh I have a headache for example then DH will say oh I have one too. Like it’s a game of top trumps.

Currently sat at home. Am board out of my brain. Got soaked walking dog. Am feeling fed up and a bit anxious. I worry about something going wrong with baby if I go over due date. I know that some nhs trusts won’t let IVF pregnancies go over .

The other thing I have noticed is my blood pressure is creeping up. I feel silly coz I know I’m just being anxious.

From 100/60 at 33 weeks then 110/64 at 35 weeks to 128/80 at 37 weeks and 6 days.