BFP through IVF. Thread to calm the nerves!

[BeHereNowx32]

Hi!
I very recently got my positive result after a FET. (This is my second child. First one conceived through a fresh cycle). Just wondered anyone in a similar position wanted to join, and help keep us calm until scan day!

I am only 4+2 weeks. Still so, so early. Can’t wait for my 7 week scan!

@ivfbeenbusy I'm so sorry you're back in hospital but its good to know they don't think it will mean delivering earlier. It must be so stressful though. Was your partner at home when it happened?

Also, thanks for the hospital bag list, I've ordered loads of stuff now so just waiting for it to arrive. The main things I still think I need are for the babies: more hats (I only ordered two for some reason), coats, cardigans (I'm struggling to find those in the early baby size so may have to go bigger), socks (not sure if I need as they'll be in babygros and under blankets most of the time), and potentially two bouncy chairs. So I'm getting there slowly!

I will think of some snacks the next time I do a food order!

How is everyone finding stress levels at the moment with all the covid stuff in the news? I'm finding it quite tough, particularly everything about how much hospitals are struggling. I keep telling myself maternity services seem to be quite separate, I've had amazing care on the NHS so far, and there's been no sign of that changing. I still don't think this is an easy time to be pregnant!

@RosettaR
Thanks! Yes DH was home but he was in more of a panic than me 🤣 - big wait on ambulance times so I just called myself an Uber! Really thought it was my waters breaking there was that much of it. 34 weeks tomorrow and I really just want them out now.

With the hospital part - I suppose I've had more insight than most since I've spent most of the week here and as no pre natal beds available I'm actually on post natal with all the newborn babies at the moment so not getting much sleep 😬. Most maternity units are physically separate to a&e and the covid wards. There was one bad night earlier in the week when I counted about 15 ambulances waiting outside obviously full of covid patients and that went on for about 12 hours but it's well away from maternity

Anyway I've been really encouraged by what I've seen - this is a big city hospital - it's calm and well organised. On arrival I've always been seen in Delivery - again calm and plenty of staff and consultants on shift - partners allowed in for active labour and if it's quiet although only allowed to stay an hour afterwards they aren't hurrying women up to the ward. Whilst there is no visiting hours at all up on the ward it's calm and quiet. Again plenty of staff around and checking in on babies, women etc very regularly. Talking to a midwife she said 60% of maternity staff have been vaccinated and they wear a badge to say they are.
Covid positive mothers are all on a ward by themselves with separate staff so kept well away to avoid transmission.
Midwife said for some odd reason they've had loads of babies born early this week (maybe stress on mother's due to covid?) And they have loads in SCBU/NICU. But plenty of visiting for parents allowed down there. Was told though if the mother subsequently gets covid then not allowed to visit so I guess something to bear in mind with your twins to try and isolate as much as you can whilst vetoing daily visits to the hospital?

I haven't bothered with socks as babies will be living in baby grows for a while.
With premature babies you'll really struggle to find cardigans and coats so I'd just go with a couple of pram suits and instead of the cardigan just long sleeve vests under a baby grow. Premature baby clothes are really lacking I found - probably because whilst in NICU they don't really wear clothes as they are in the incubators and by the time they leave they'll be closer to "normal" baby size and should fit into the usual tiny baby/newborn sizes

I think the only thing I need to order is a twin nursing pillow but I'm not sure about feeding both at the same time so might just get a single baby one x

@ivfbeenbusy sorry to hear you have been back in hospital.

Am 20 weeks tomorrow with 20 week scan on Monday.

Starting to feel movement but not consistently.

I am feeling quite low and anxious at the moment. I’m very scared about the scan. I am so anxious it’s affecting my sleep and dreams . Night after night of nightmares.

I just worry about stupid things like getting to scan and bean is dead or there is a major problem.

I just can’t shake it.

@thefishthatcouldwish

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious. Feeling movement is a good sign though and you should feel reassured that the majority of issue are identified well before now at the 12 week scan so the odds are hugely in your favour that everything will be completely perfect with your baby xx

@ivfbeenbusy that must have been so stressful having to rush to hospital in an uber! That was definitely the right choice though rather than waiting for an ambulance so well done for thinking straight enough to do it!

That is very encouraging that the maternity wards seemed OK despite the situation we're in! It's worrying lots of babies are coming early though. I'm concerned about that because I feel really stressed out by it at the moment! So far though the babies don't seem to be planning on going anywhere so I've got to hope it stays that way! It is also a worry about testing positive while the babies are in NICU and not being able to see them for 2 weeks. I guess at least in that scenario you'd know they were safe but I can't imagine how awful it would be.

Congratulations on getting to 34 weeks! You must be in with a chance of avoiding NICU altogether if you can last another couple of weeks.

I've found this pramsuit in tiny baby size which i may buy www.vertbaudet.co.uk/pramsuit-with-full-length-double-opening-for-babies-blue-dark-solid.htm?ProductId=700120071&FiltreCouleur=6399&t=1 I've bought baby gros and vests in early baby size so far but I'm thinking I may buy a load in tiny baby too on the basis they will need them at some stage.

I do have a twin breastfeeding pillow. Feeding together sounds hard but I did a twins Trust antenatal course and they said if you feed one at a time that can take 16 hours a day in the early weeks!

@thefishthatcouldwish I'm sorry you're feeling anxious. There's a line somewhere on the NHS website that feeling movements is a good sign your baby is well, I keep repeating that when I'm anxious as they're moving a lot now (28 weeks)! It means not only is the baby alive but it has a good amount of energy too! I don't think consistency is something to worry about, its normal for there not to be much of a pattern at least until 24 weeks. If the anxiety is constant could you speak to your midwife?

Uber is the way forward although he did look at me funny putting a towel down on his seats to sit on 🤣🙈

Which twin nursing pillow did you go for?

I think my twins will be well over 4lbs now and the bigger one closer to 5lbs so another 2 weeks and if I can get to 36 weeks should avoid NICU and just need SCBU 🤞🤞

@ivfbeenbusy I got the peanut & piglet pillow, its literally like a table to put them on more than a pillow! I chose that one because I'm quite tall and my boobs are on the smaller side, so my main concern was I needed one to get the babies high enough to reach my boobs! And I'd read that one is good for taller women. Obviously I haven't tried to use it yet so I can't advise whether it was a good buy! Everyone online raves about the twin-z pillow but I couldn't find anywhere to get it easily in the UK.

Ah that must be so good to know they are already over 4 lb! I can't wait to get there! I am hoping for a short NICU/SCBU stay even at 34 weeks, I'm in a Facebook group for monochorionic twins and 1-2 weeks seems to be common for that gestation - that is what I'm aiming for. Its a lot longer if they are born any earlier!

@ivfbeenbusy that’s super news about baby size. Fingers crossed you get you your 36 weeks.

@RosettaR how far along are you now?

Scan went well baby looks like ET 😂.

All measurements etc look normal.

@thefishthatcouldwish

Great news on your scan! 🥳🥳

I'm back in hospital after another massive bleed. Don't think I can take much more! Plus been told my hospital has no spare NICU/SCBU places so babies would have to be moved to another hospital if they come today/in the next few days.....which could be anywhere in the country!!!!!

OMG @ivfbeenbusy that sounds horrific.

How horrible too about babies being potentially anywhere in country.

Hope you are ok and the babies are ok.

@thefishthstcouldwish I'm 29 weeks today, so glad to have made it this far, when we had it TTTS scare i honestly didn't think we'd get past 25! Now trying to hold out to 34 weeks. I'm really glad your scan went well. Babies do look like aliens if you see them front on, its funny because in profile they look so cute!

@ivfbeenbusy I'm so sorry to hear that, how stressful for you! Have they said anything this time about why it keeps happening or how much longer they think you'll last?

That's been worrying me about NICU running out of beds, particularly after what you said about there being lots of early births recently. It would be horrible to have them moved to a different hospital, particularly while we'd be still recovering from a c section. Hopefully yours can stay in until 36 weeks and then maybe they can stay with you without needing SCBU even, that does happen with 36 weekers. And hopefully my local hospital has space as mine will certainly need NICU or SCBU! I might ask about that at my scan tomorrow.

@RosettaR

No still no answers which is what makes it worse - I'm one of these people that has to have the answers to everything! They still won't get them out early though as they've said they seem happy enough in there 🤔 but I just can't face coming in every couple of days - it's making it really difficult for DH to work and DD getting upset that she keeps waking up and I'm
Not there 😢

I'm hoping that demand for baby beds will settle down soon - seems like they've had 2 sets of triplets and a lot more twins in all at the same time needing early delivery which hasn't helped. Or maybe this is the start of the lockdown baby boom?? Which is why I think they want to keep mine in as long as possible while they seem to be ok - it's just me I'm starting to get worried about now - in case all this bleeding is a sign I could haemorrhage during delivery?

@ivfbeenbusy oh no! so sorry to hear you have been back and forth to hospital so much and still no answers, that must be really difficult. You sound like you are handling it really well though. Hopefully the NICU/SCBU beds situation is fluid and however full it is today is not necessarily going to be the case in a few days time.

Morning everyone!

So after a very dramatic/traumatic turn of events my twins were born this morning by emergency c section.

I was actually due to go home but first twin waters broke and then started having contractions then second twin waters broke.....and then had a complete placental abruptly and haemorrhaged. They had the babies out within 20 mins! Very frightening and no time to get DH in so had to do it alone. Can't fault the hospital team they have been absolutely amazing.

Big twin is much bigger than they estimated him to be and little twin smaller. But both needed minimal oxygen support and hoping they'll move from NICU to SCBU today so I can be with them. Not sure when I can take them home though depends how quick they pick up feeding

C section was fine and didn't feel anything other than them trying to pull big twin out as he was refusing to budge🤣. Minimal pain at the moment and hoping to be on my feet within 6 hours so I can go and see them as only saw them briefly before they were whisked away

@ivfbeenbusy that does sound dramatic, and it must have been scary though particularly with it all happening on your own. It sounds like you were in the right place when it all happened so they could get you straight in for the emergency c section. I'm glad both babies are safely out and getting the best care!

Thats great they didn't need much oxygen, it sounds like they are doing really well. You must have been nearly 35 weeks were you? I lose track a bit.

It makes me feel really sad thinking about the fact that I won't get to see them much when they're born. Hopefully you can get up and about and go and visit them. I'll be thinking of you

@ivfbeenbusy Oh goodness! Congratulations! and also wow that must have been so scary for you without your DH. I hope you can both see them and enjoy them lots soon

Hey @RosettaR yes just under 35 weeks - it was little twin that drove it all - think she'd had enough in there as she's much more awake and lively than her brother. Think he would been happy to stay in the bump getting fatter! 🤣

I was upset about NICU at first as literally they just held them up to me and then took them away and then it was 6 hours or so before I could see them. It didn't feel like I'd had any babies plus not having DH here meant being on my own in the ward but it gave me time to come to terms with what happened!

Don't underestimate your maternal drive though - I was adamant I was going down to see them this evening so found the strength to get up on feet etc and into a wheelchair (my hospital you have to be able bear weight on your feet to be able to get out of bed) whereas the other c section mums who have their babies with them haven't moved all day 🤣

I'm going to go back down tonight to see if I can hold them. I think I'll have the incentive to recover quicker as then can go see when I like rather than wait for a wheelchair. Hospital said no rush to discharge me so at least can spend a few days here

Trying to establish breastfeeding by getting milk to come through is bloody hard though - have to hand express every 2 hours and then a midwife takes it over. They aren't allowed out of special care until they are feeding either by breastfeed or formula x

@ivfbeenbusy wow 🤩 huge huge congratulations 🥳. Must have a been so scary without DH.

Hope you recover from c section. Woo for standing and getting to see your babies.

Hope they feed soon.

@thefishthatcouldwish hello i am 17 weeks baby due in June. I have my 20 week scan in about 3 weeks and i am anxious too with similar thoughts. I am trying my hardest to remain postive. I am sure your scan will be absolutely fine x

@thefishthatcouldwish just seen your later message, so pleased your scan went well

I haven't posted on this thread in ages but just happened to check in today and seen your good news @ivfbeenbusy congratulations! Sending love to you! Hope you get to hold your babies soon!

Congratulations @ivfbeenbusy I have read lots of your posts on here and followed your journey...you now have a lovely complete family...perfect! Sending love xxx

@SantoPalo thanks think it’s called scanxiety

Hope you’re scan goes well. Been trying to get hold of midwife for 25 week appointment but with no luck yet.

@thefishthatcouldwish thank you. scanxiety sums it up in 1 word. Hope you get hold of midwife soon

@ivfdreaming how are you this evening? Did you get to spend some more time with your babies today?

I imagine hand expressing is hard! You inspired me to look at some videos in preparation. They do all say you will only get a few ml initially and that's how it's meant to be, but it must feel like you're getting nothing. Good luck getting the babies to feed.

@SantoPalo good luck with your scan! I found the weeks between 12 and 20 weeks went pretty quickly. There is always the fear before scans though, I've been having them weekly and get so bmnervous before each one!