November 2020 babies - thread 8!

[wannabebump]

New thread xx

Yep, I’m also discriminated against because “I only work 4 days”. And whilst my colleague who is favoured is far from proving himself (he’s awful, and they know it), me going on another maternity leave has probably put the nail in my own coffin 😬

@FilthyforFirth I agree - I wouldn’t say anything. Legally they shouldn’t hold it against you but if they know they might (consciously or unconsciously). You are under no obligation to tell them. If you get the job perhaps you could deal with it head on with your new line manager and tell them that you wanted to be up front about it but were advised not to, that you’re so pleased to have got the job, that you’d like to discuss with them how best to manage your mat leave/KIT days etc...basically be really keen and helpful and proactive?

Congrats @BuffaloCauliflower!

How does everyone/anyone feel about NCT classes going online? I’m FTM so don’t have the comparison? Zoom should be fine but wasn’t excited to on meet people in person. Due 29th Nov, scan in 2 weeks!

Thanks @harrietm87. I think that is what I am leaning towards. DH is very keen to do shared parental leave so I could explain that I will only take 9 months off not the whole year. It is so annoying that this job was recruited to in Jan when it was advertised.

I work in a male dominated industry and I think I might as well not do the interview if I decide to disclose as there is no way they would give me the job.

My HG does bloody complicate things further. But my current job involves so much travel and this one is locally based and better suited to family life. So I am desperate to get out before I have 2 kids.

Just go for it @FilthyforFirth and don’t tell them. Maternity leave is a tiny proportion of your working life and even if you get the job and your line manager is really unprofessional and it doesn’t work out (big ifs, it would probably all be fine), you’d be in a better position to look for a similar role than if you hadn’t applied.

Congrats @BuffaloCauliflower I found out I was having a boy a few weeks ago too.

@FilthyforFirth absolutely go for it! I wouldn't disclose pregnancy if you think it would have any influence on their decision in giving you the role.
Your pregnancy has nothing to do with your skills and ability to do the job in the future, the law protects you and you seem to have a great balance worked out with shared leave, plus KIT days will allow you to keep your head in the game. Good luck!

For those who are wanting antenatal classes we did one of the free 2 hour Zoom classes with The Honest Midwife booked on Let's Talk About Birth and Baby and thought it was really good (if not a little long to sit there for 2 hours straight - sit on the sofa not on a dining chair like me!) Found her really funny and straight to the point. Made me feel more prepared and chilled for the birth. Definitely worth checking out if you're interested in that sort of thing.

@FilthyforFirth my advice would be don't say anything. They will take it into account whether they mean to or not. We recently employed a pregnant woman who disclosed this fact to me but I purposely didn't tell the hiring manager for this reason - she got the job. Now the manager thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread. The head of service is a bit miffed but there's nothing she can do that wouldn't be totally discriminatory. It really grinds my gears the amount of discrimination in the workplace that's still present for pregnant women and the blatantly sexist assumptions that are made 😡. Being that it's the same organisation I would say this works in your favour also. Don't feel obliged to say anything.

My pushchair bundle and snuzpod bundle arrived today 😃 it's like Christmas!

Also thanks ladies just seen the comments further down about the rescan I'll definitely speak to my midwife!

@LozEliza I was also told they’d have me back if they couldn’t properly get any of the measurements, I’d definitely push

Thanks for commenting everyone. You have confirmed what I was thinking. Just one more, one of the standard questions is do you have any holiday coming up we should be aware of? What should my answer be here?!

The interview is next week so I'll let you know how I get on!

@FilthyforFirth I would say none if I had no holidays planned. Although you would potentially need cover for maternity it wouldn't be the same sort of cover required for holidays.

@BuffaloCauliflower welcome to the baby boy club 🥰

@FilthyforFirth I would tell the truth and say no unless you've actually got some booked

@FilthyforFirth

lighthearted “Hah, no, no holidays booked, covid put paid to any ideas of that” 👌😉

Hah that is a correct answer. I dont have any holidays booked sadly. Though I do have 28 days holiday currently so will be starting mat leave quite early... God this is such a mess

I need milk advice for reasons I would rather not go into I wont be bf little one when she arrives and was wandering in terms of formulas if there is a difference between cow and gate and aldi? I've heard good things about both but was wondering on your opinions and experiences of these?

@BuffaloCauliflower congrats!! You articulated how I feel about having a baby boy perfectly, thank you. I never thought about it in the context of DH, who is wonderful.

Thanks @Wise0wl

@Sweetpea1985 nor should you feel you have to, after all, it's your body!

We had success with both, simply making the switch to aldi because it was cheaper 😀

@FilthyforFirth you can carry forward the holiday to take at the end of mat leave as well you don't have to take it at the start

I'm glad your scan went well @BuffaloCauliflower!! Ours went well too and it feels like a lovely weight lifted! Although we were told at a private scan two weeks ago that we were having a girl and they said it was a boy today so that was a bit of a surprise!! But very happy all the same ☺️

@Beccarans89 that is surprising! I’ve heard of private gender scans being wrong quite often, and more likely to wrongly say girl than boy (positioning) the sonographer was absolutely sure this time!

@BuffaloCauliflower yes that's what I've heard too and the nurse who did my whooping cough jab after my scan said it happens more often than you think! We are very happy that baby is healthy so makes no difference, but was a bit of a surprise!

Wow @Beccarans89 that must have been a surprise! Good job you checked! Does the private scan give you your money back?!

@Sweetpea1985 as I think you’ve seen (😉😉) have a look at this - has all the info about different formulas you’ll ever need: www.firststepsnutrition.org/parents-carers). In short, supermarket brands are just as good as the “branded” ones as they all have to conform to the same standards.