Catching up - TTC after miscarriage part 2

[BecsterG]

Hi Ladies, here is our part two for pregnancy after miscarriage. X

@ChampooPapi gotta love Baz!! At first I thought it was a sun cream advert haha! Yeah I assume mine will all be on Wednesdays now as that's when they run their multiple births clinics. So from now I'm every other weds!! I'm just so convinced something is not right because at the private 14 week scan one twin was measuring a week behind... so I think I'm just expecting bad news 😞 we will see xx

Gosh lots of scans this week, hoping for good news for everyone Good luck to you @MilsCookie I'm sure all is fine!
I'm just back from my twenty week scan, all OK with baby phew! Got two extra scans after 30 weeks due to my fibroid which is an extra worry but it could be a lot worse so overall I am pleased. Was very nice to see them again!

Thanks @MilsCookie and @Champoopapi.

@Ejb86 I think we are exactly the same as I'll be 8 weeks on Saturday. Aww that's a shame that you'll have to go alone 😞 xxx

@Ljm0101 @Ejb86 How are you guys feeling? Sending all the love for your scans and I’m sure there’ll be perfect little beans in there growing nicely 🥰

@MilsCookie Haha here’s my bump! ❤️

@TerribleImagination what a lovely bump!

I'm actually feeling really anxious. Worried they're going to tell me it's all gone wrong already. My last scan was finding out the girls were gone. Also worried they'll tell me there's 2 again. Having bad dreams every night. I just need Friday to come soon!

@Ljm0101 we are in sync! At least until they put us forward/back. I'm half expecting them to put me back by a few days so that my due date matches the twins' due date from last year.

Good luck with all your scans ladies. So many this week.

I've just booked a 4D scan for next week as my husband wasn't able to come with me for the other scans. We didn't do a 4D scan with our son so thought we'd do it with this one as likely to be our last. I'm excited but nervous about it.

Thanks lovey @Ejb86 ❤️ I totally get the anxiety. I hope to all that’s good in the world that your bad luck is behind you and this scan is a beautiful experience for you and DP ❤️ Fingers crossed the next few days fly by!

Ahhhh @TerribleImagination 😍😍😍 what a cute bump!! I love seeing bump photos haha. How's the sickness?

I'm not surprised you're feeling anxious @Ejb86 - the first scan after the one where we were told bad news is always the hardest. The chances are that everything is going to be fine this time round. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻 and @Ljm0101 xx

Ooh @BecsterG a 4D scan will be amazing! 😍

Thanks lovey @MilsCookie! The sickness is the same, still there mildly but much much better. I definitely feel more sick when I’m more tired, so I’m finding that I can’t do more than a few busy / social days in a row, without needing a sofa day to recover!

@Whiffle77 so pleased to see your twenty week scan update 🙌 it will be lovely to see the baby a few more times with the extra scans too, I know they are for a medical reason but your little one will look very cute at thirty weeks 🥰

@TerribleImagination oh my goodness amazing bump 🙌 It is such a good feeling once you have a bit of one isn't it 🥰. You look fantastic ☺️

Not going to lie, some days are amazing and some days are pretty God dam awful on the worry scale after a loss, even at 22 weeks I have some very dodgy days where i am incredibly anxious. But it is usually alway followed by a day where I am free of that worry because I don't want to repeat another god awful day of mopping and kind of navel gazing gloom that sucks all the joy out of being pregnant, so I dust myself off and say 'today will be a good day, I am pregnant and I am so happy about that so I'm going to embrace being pregnant today and try at least, to project my joy in that'.

It's usually one day on and one day off 😬

Hope everyone is doing ok this morning, Wednesdays are always a funny one sent they, neither her nor there!

I feel like I'm still going to be surprised when there's a baby in 3 months.

Madam seems to have moved position, so I'm feeling much more comfortable generally, but my bump is really noticeable whenever I'm trying to do anything. I can't sit close to the table to eat, or get close to the worktop in the kitchen, and when I try to hug DH it feels like there's a bowling ball between us!

It's funny, because it's really hard at the top but the bottom jiggles

I'd also forgotten that the bump means any crumbs that I drop down my cleavage sit on top of the bump until I get undressed for bed...

A 4D scan will be amazing @BecsterG!

Lovely bump @TerribleImagination!

Thanks @ChampooPapi I feel a lot better. And yes two extra occasions to see them will be very welcomed! Seems a long way away but so did 20 weeks at 12 weeks. I am the same with worry levels, some days much better than others, but like @FireflyGirl I really can't imagine the wriggler in my tummh being a baby that I take home!
Great bump @TerribleImagination!
Enjoy your scan @BecsterG I bet your other half can't wait to see them again!
I know what you mean about bump being in the way @fireflygirl, a couple of times I've bent over to do my shoes and thought why is that hurting?! Its so odd, I never really thought about the mechanics of it - its so different to just being a bit fatter than normal!

Hi ladies. Had some difficult news today so not sure what to think. My head is all over the place.

Basically, twin 1 is still measuring a week behind but they said that’s really common and it will probably remain that way for the rest of the pregnancy. They ruled out TTTS at this stage. However, twin 1 has a single umbilical artery (should have two) and also an ‘absent ductus velous’ - it’s not something that’s part of their body but something to do with the blood flow and it’s something that closes up after birth. So like we don’t have umbilical cords after birth we also don’t have this ductus velous. So it’s not a structural abnormality. But they said these two things can suggest a 1/10 chance that there is a genetic abnormality. As they are identical twins, it would affect them both if there was something wrong. So they have said we can have amniocentesis 🤯 to check their dna, but it involves putting a needle into the amniotic fluid and has a 1-2% risk of miscarriage (which at this point would be early labour). They said they’ll do the full anomaly scan at 20 weeks which will give them more answers, and we can still opt for the amniocentesis then if they discover something else is wrong. Or we can have it now for peace of mind, but we have the miscarriage risk. So our heads have been a bit fucked all day. I think we’re going to wait until 20 weeks to get clearer answers but until then I’m going to be pretty anxious. We’ve already decided that if they had a severe genetic disorder we would terminate, which would be horrendous at 20+ weeks. We’re really hoping that’s not going to be the case but we just have to wait and see.

And after the long, upsetting conversation, the consultant (who also got two other doctors to scan and check what they'd found so I was being scanned for an hour in total) told us we are having girls. It was a bittersweet moment 💗💗

Oh god @MilsCookie that's such a horrible position to be put in and I can only imagine how terrible you are feeling. I think it's one of those things where there's no right or wrong answer as to what to do and if you are being swayed towards waiting for the anomaly scan then maybe go with your gut. Does the NIPT blood test work for anything like this? I don't know a huge amount about it but know it can be used to screen for chromosomal abnormalities. I am hoping so so much for you that your two little baby girls will be ok. Massive hugs.xxx

Oh no @MilsCookie you poor thing! Your head must be all over the shop. I know 1 in 10 sounds a really high risk, but remember that means there is a 90% chance that there isn't an abnormality! And that everything is ok with your lovely girls. That's a very high probability but that doesn't mean I don't understand how worried you are. I did do some research around amnio which said the actual risk of miscarriage was far lower than 2%, so when you feel like your head is a bit less mangled then have a look into it (or I am happy to do so for you)
Sending you and your partner lots of lo e this evening, look after each other and try not to worry about making big decisions right now xxx

@MilsCookie Girls! That's amazing news!

I definitely think waiting until 20 weeks is a good idea. It gives the doctors a better chance of seeing exactly what is going on and you have time to think about the amnio.

I know this is horrible news and hard to take in. Try to enjoy having those little troublemakers in there. You'll be feeling them more and more as the days go by. I'm saying this as a person who spent their whole twin pregnancy worried and anxious and didn't enjoy it and I now regret it. Big hugs to you. You know I'm here if you want to rant about anything. X

@MilsCookie sorry to hear you didn't hear the news you'd been hoping for at your appointment. I agree that a 1 in 10 chance sounds high but a 90% chance there's no abnormality is also quite high. I can't imagine what you and your husband are going through. I think waiting until the 20 weeks scan when they can see more sounds really sensible. I have everything crossed for you.

I hope you managed to get some rest last night after your appointment. You and your baby girls need lots of rest.

Sending hugs xx

Thank you @Leok83 @Whiffle77 @Ejb86 @BecsterG it's just so crap that nothing with this pregnancy has been straight forward so far. It's just one worry after another!! I have so many questions I want to ask so probably going to call Fetal Medicine again today and see if I can either email them over to the consultant or speak to him on the phone.

But yes... girls 😍💗 although just don't feel like I can get excited yet! 😔

@MilsCookie sorry to hear this but like the others have said it's still in your favour that it will be okay. I personally would wait until the 20 week scan where they can view everything a lot clearer. Amazing news it's girls!! You've been so strong keep it up. When is your 20 week scan? Xxx

@TerribleImagination awwwww love the bump pic

Can I ask when did you all or when are you starting to buy things? When is the best time to get a cot and a pram etc? I need to write a list and don't know when to start buying.

Thanks @AlviesMam and @ChampooPapi! ❤️

Sending all the love to you and DP @MilsCookie ❤️❤️❤️ As hard as it is, try and keep as positive as you can. In this awful interim period before you know conclusively either way, there is hope, and hope is very powerful. I’m sending all the positive vibes out into the universe for the 4 of you 😘

@AlviesMam I’m going to wait until my 20 week scan and then start buying the big bits! I’ve already got some clothes though, just a few bits so far, but will get more when we know what the sex is after our private scan on Sunday!

@MilsCookie just logged on so only just caught up with your news. I am really really gutted to read about your news, I am obviously incredibly happy there is so sign of twin to twin transfer though, that is very very bad at this early stage. So that is a big plus that you definitely need to focus on, the other twin would be more then a week behind by now if ttts was occurring. A lady on my other thread had this so I understand more about it now. The other news is very scary, confusing, and frankly devastating because of everything you've already been through. But I would say that the wait till twenty weeks is an absolute no surly for amio? This is why I had the nipt at ten weeks because I didn't want those syndromes or anomalies at least to be flagged at twenty weeks and have to terminate at that stage. However that wouldn't have helped you obviously as what's been flagged is somthing else entirely, it is apparent from what you've said that it is not one of the 'three' they screen for so you made the complete right call previously.

Personally I'd have the amio as soon as possible. That miscarriage rate is very low and actually some surgeons have a 100 percent success rate but those stats are built from all the amios that have been performed over like the last twenty years I think (this is from other threads that have come up over the years) which skews the results slightly as the last few years they have got so good at performing them and so precise that actually there really is a minute chance.

However there is still a chance of course so it is a very personal choice for you.

What are you thinking generally Mils? How are you and your partner coping?