Catching up - TTC after miscarriage part 2

[BecsterG]

Hi Ladies, here is our part two for pregnancy after miscarriage. X

Yay! @TerribleImagination fantastic 🌈💗 you must be absolutely knackered after today but just so happy now! I'll update the list 🥰

Updated list 🌈🌈👣👣💖💖

@MrsB16 28 weeks due baby girl 21 September
@BecsterG 27 weeks 3 due baby boy 26 September
@Zoey36 26 weeks 4 due baby boy 03/10/2020
@BS9790 22 weeks 4 due baby boy 31/10/2020
@FireflyGirl 22 weeks 2 due baby girl 02/11/2020
@AlviesMam 22 weeks 2 due baby girl 02/11/2020
@ChampooPapi 18 weeks 6 due twin girls 24/11/2020
@kkr168 18 weeks 4 due baby boy 28/11/2020
@Whiffle77 17 weeks 6 due 02/12/2020
@MilsCookie 13 weeks due 07/01/2021
@TerribleImagination 12 weeks 1 due 10/01/2021
@Mammacooks 10 weeks 3 due 22/01/2021

Welcome @PippaLiz, you have been through such a time of it the last few years. Have you had a scan yet? Ten weeks is a pretty big landmark developmental wise for the baby. You have every chance this baby will work out, So let me know when you'd like me to add you to our list 🌈👣💞

YAAAAAAY @TerribleImagination 💞💫 🌈 amazing news!! Look at your little bean! Love that he/she was so wriggly 😍 what a relief!! Xx

Whoop @TerribleImagination great news about the scan.

@PippaLiz welcome. So sorry about your history but congratulations and as Champoo said, 10 weeks is a great milestone to reach. Have you had any scans so far? When's your dating scan?

Thanks everyone! Yeah I’m shattered now! Been feeling so so sick today too 🤢 We told family after the scan which was AMAZING!! Absolutely buzzing, but deffo getting me an early night 😃

@TerribleImagination the adenilene from the day goes doesn't it and you are just left feeling so queasy and shattered. Snooze now, tomorrow you may need a duvet day if poss too. The bloody sickness! Your getting there though now, couple more weeks and you'll be feeling so much better 😘

@MilsCookie when is your next scan?! I'm excited to see them again, I'm having my 20 week one in a week's time so will update my twin action soon. Will you get to find out the genders at the next scan? Or too soon? I'm starting to see that by about 25 weeks we are going to be quite large! I'm becoming slower already and by now I'm practically immobile 😆🤦

Lovely news @TerribleImagination.

@MilsCookie my consultant told me I'd have a 6 week scan to ease anxiety, and a 15/16 week one too. I've contacted her office, so I'm just waiting on an appointment now.

*by this time in the evening I'm immobile

I'm so out of breath doing things it's ridiculous, I have considered getting one of those grabbers in the later weeks, my partner is my human grabber currently but I'm getting tired of asking him to pick things up all the time

@ChampooPapi That’s exactly how I feel! Queasy and knackered! I’m definitely planning a chilled day tomorrow!

Eurgh I know, the sickness is ROUGH! 🤢 BUT seeing our little wriggly baby made it all so so worth it ❤️ although I know now all is safe and well in there, it can bugger off now please 😂

Great news @TerribleImagination xxxx

Ahhh that's brilliant news @TerribleImagination so pleased for you!

@TerribleImagination Ohhhh yes totally agree with Champoo - the day feels like an emotional rollercoaster and then by the evening you're absolutely shattered!! Make sure you rest up tonight and tomorrow lovely !

@ChampooPapi eeeeek I'm so excited for your 20 week scan! And can't believe how quick that seems to have come round? We're having a private one next week just so my DP can see the babies wriggling! But will prob be too early to see the gender as I'll only be 14+2. At my 16 week one with the consultant I'll see if they can tell me then - but as DP can't come in with me do you think they'll write it down? Or am I gonna have to pay for another private scan so we can find out together? Oh god... I'm beginning to feel a bit terrified about how big I'm going to get. I definitely feel like I've got the beginnings of a bump now! Will post a pic tomorrow! Haha I love that your partner is your human grabber! might invest in one of those pickers too haha.

@Ejb86 ahhh I see. Hopefully the appointments will come through soon.

Welcome @PippaLiz - sounds like you've been through a particularly rough time these last few years. Fingers crossed this is a sticky bean for you!! xx

@BecsterG @ChampooPapi Thank you so much for kind words. I had an early scan at 7 weeks (but measuring 6+3) after I started bleeding and was 100% convinced it was curtains but they had a heartbeat so it’s hanging in there! 12 week scan on 13th July (which is DH’s birthday so could really go one of two ways 😬). I might let myself get excited if it’s good news there though.

@MilsCookie thank you! I hope your scan next week goes well and your little one does lots of showing off for you and your DP 😊

@PippaLiz not too long to wait then although I know two weeks feels like a lifetime away when you're in it.

My next midwife appointment is on Monday when I'll be 28+3 I think and I'm going to ask about the babies size as my bump hasn't grown at all in about 8 weeks but I'm sure my fundal measurements will have grown I just won't be aware plus the baby is so active, it's just always at the back of my mind. I think maybe because I went pop and was big early on the baby has maybe had space but I take a picture of my bump every few weeks and it looks no different. It does mean however that I now look the right size for my gestation ha ha but I'm very tall (5'11) so can carry it well.

@MilsCookie it's worth asking if they'll write it down. I've seen from a Facebook group I'm in it seems to be hit and miss if they'll do that. We had decided to do a little gender reveal video for family when we found out as it was within the first month or so of lockdown and we wanted to do something. I had to find out what the sex was so I knew which colour cannon to use. Ha ha but my husband and 3 year old son didn't know.

@PippaLiz I had an early scan this time round too at 6 weeks after having a bit of spotting. Like you was fully expecting to be told there was nothing there but there were TWO heartbeats! Both are still doing well now and I'm just over 13 weeks. Hang on in there - you can relax a bit once you get to 12 weeks!! 💞

@BecsterG hmmm that's so frustrating that it's different policies at different hospitals. I suppose I can ask and see what they say. If not we'll have to go for a separate private one haha. I'm sure your baby is doing absolutely fine if you can feel him moving around! Definitely good to check with your midwife though 😊

I'm having a bit of a down day about my first miscarriage and don't know where to get it out other than here :(

The part I find so hard to deal with is what physically happened. I've come to accept that my due date went by and there was no baby etc. but the physical stuff is always in my mind. I'm good at ignoring it and I actively putting it to the back of my mind but then I'll read something and it all comes back. I can't talk to anyone about it because it's obviously physically disgusting and nobody wants to hear all that. Plus it's been that long now that people assume it's a thing of the past. And I'm not ready to hear anyone tell me that I should just be thankful that I'm pregnant now. My MIL told me when it happened that I'd get over it when I had another one. Being pregnant again has definitely helped me look to the future but it can't take away what I felt and saw but what do you even do?? I just keep hoping that eventually I won't care anymore but does that even happen? :(

Ahhh @zoey36 I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I must confess that I regularly feel similar, I dont feel the same gut wrenching sadness I did before, but the physical side of it regularly torments me. Sometimes I lie in bed trying to get to sleep and what happened rolls through my head like a film! Like you say, it's not something you can really discuss IRL and the only person I told it to in full was my DH which doesn't help. To me as well it was a surprise how awful it was, I had no idea that was what a MC was! I thought it was just like a heavy period.
Do you have anyone else in your close friends who have had a loss? As they will understand and maybe you could talk to them.
I haven't helped much but just wanted to say I think what you are feeling is normal. I think it is just like any other trauma and grief, it just takes time...I hope it will fade more. Alternatively there are miscarriage charities like Tommy's who are happy to talk to people who are struggling.

@MilsCookie I know but just at the back of my mind. Ill be happy if the fundal Measurement has gone up.

@Zoey36 bless you lovely. It's a horrendous, traumatic thing to experience and I don't think we'll ever fully 'get over' it - even when our current babies are born. It might be worth looking into a few sessions of private counselling? I started seeing a therapist in January to help me with my PTSD from it all, and I really think it's helped me. It's definitely important to acknowledge your grief and how you feel, and have a cry whenever you feel you need to. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this today, but please do vent whenever you need to. We all know how you feel and we're all here to support each other. Sending lots of love xxx

@MilsCookie my consultant was more than happy to write down my sex on a piece of paper so me and my husband could open it together so it's worth asking :) xx

Ahhh thank you @AlviesMam - that's good to know!! 😊 how are you doing?