If you aren’t married who’s surname will your baby have?

[lululocks]

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and I don’t know if I want to marry my DP so should I give our baby my surname?

I hate the idea of not having the same surname as my own child. But I don’t think he would be happy about this.

Are others who aren’t married planning on giving the baby your DPs surname?

I am giving my son his dad's last name because we are in a secure,loving relationship,we live together,and we want to marry in the future. I never have understood the hype with last names,but I do know that my son would have my last name if I was single and the father wasn't involved or if he was moving onto somebody new that would have his last name. My partner is a lovely man and will be the best father ever,so I really want to give my boy his name. Also,his last name is Lithuanian and I want my boy to have the Lithuanian culture in his name. My last name wouldn't suit his name,either.

Shaming other women about their choices certainly isnt a kind of Feminism that I would support.

@EveningReflection I agree. Nobody should say that someone else must do this or has to do that.

It's 2020, we have choices.

Each individual can decide what works best for them and their family. There is no right or wrong answer...certainly not on an anonymous forum where people have no idea about other posters or their circumstances.

I'm all for people giving their own opinions and explaining the reasons behind their choice as that is what the OP asked for but the level of judgement on here sometimes and the inability to appreciate different views/opinions is very toxic indeed.

@EveningReflection I agree (although using the term militant feminism was brave/foolish 😂). I don't like it when people tell women they "should" do XYZ.. You "should" do whatever is right for you and your family, just make sure that's a free choice.

I agreed baby could have his name because I have a brother with two males who will carry on my family name. His family name on the other hand would die out as his mum was an only child and so was he. Double barrelled was not an option as I have a very long name and it would have been ridiculous. My name is the best so I'm a bit pissed that they didn't get the benefit of my name.

It's wise to give the baby your surname. You can change it if you get married and want to. But once the baby has his name, you'll never be able to legally change it.

If your names sound good together you could double barrel.

We've double barrelled (I know I know eyerolls), and plan to keep them that way when we marry as I'm not changing my name either.