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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

👣 Due Late Nov/Early Dec it's bump time! 👣

999 replies

ChampooPapi · 30/05/2020 09:06

Thread three 🙌

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Snowwhite2020 · 17/06/2020 14:33

Hi guys, wondering on your opinion regarding sleeping arrangements... I have read on here about the next2me cribs and I think they sound fantastic. Lack of sleep and dealing with a newborn through the night is my number 1 post birth concern (beyond simply that the baby is well!) My husband’s family have a crib that they have used for generations and it is being forced on me a bit.... what do you think about a traditional crib versus a next2me? Husband says we can’t have both tho not sure why tbh x

Pinktruffle · 17/06/2020 14:37

Thinking of you today @RunnerGirl123 xx

Awkes · 17/06/2020 14:38

@Snowwhite2020 ftm so not sure I’m very helpful but we’ve got a normal bedside crib. Surely the only difference is having to lean over a bit more to get baby up? I didn’t like the idea of nothing separating me from baby, I worry id roll over and hurt them

chubbyhotchoc · 17/06/2020 14:40

@Snowwhite2020 what's it like ? if it's an old crib it probably doesn't fit current safety standards. Some of them have lead paint on them and the bars are a hazard. The new cribs are breathable and designed to become an extension of your own bed if that's what you want. You'd have to have a new mattress for it anyway

RestorationInsanity · 17/06/2020 14:41

@Snowwhite2020 obviously I've never done this before so this input is purely what we've decided to do rather than it being a good way!

We'll be using a next to me to start with (it's only suitable for up to 6 months) then moving into a normal cot. I have a bad back so don't fancy reaching low down into a cot for a tiny baby, and a standard cot with variable mattress height won't fit beside our bed on my side, so the next to me is the best option purely from those practicalities.

Downstairs we will have a Moses basket just because I like them and want somewhere set up for the baby to nap downstairs.

The one thing I would say with the cot if you decide to use it, is to check that the space between the bars etc meets up to date safety requirements, particularly if it has been in use for many many years.

RestorationInsanity · 17/06/2020 14:43

Oops sorry, others best me to it!

@Awkes most of the next to me cribs have a fabric side that rolls up and down so that you can sleep separated but roll down when awake/to feed.

chubbyhotchoc · 17/06/2020 14:43

Personally I don't want the side down and attach to my bed option because I'll be using a breathing monitor which won't work with a crib that's attached to the bed but I'll still probably get a next to me type one because they're comfy for baby.

ChampooPapi · 17/06/2020 14:45

@Kj1010 it's very unlikely not to be picked up at the 20 week scan so please don't worry about your results. But at the same time the NHS test does NOT test dna so it really is just age plus the nucal measurement and pap a. It produces many many false positives, as well as false negatives, but those are obviously incredibly rare and much rarer then false positives. But yes, there have been babies born to women who have had 1 in ten thousand chance of a baby with down sydrome on their nhs test. As well as babies born to women who have had 1/100. It is all about what you would personally do so if you would continue with the pregnancy then to be honest I would ignore the NHS results. Neck folds can be huge and the baby fine, or tiny and then at the 20 week scan something is picked up. The nipt is the only DNA test that gives you a yes or no answer with a 0.01 percent error margin. But still that is not diagnostic like the amio or CVS.

The NHS were supposed to be exchange the tri screening for the nipt because of its accuracy and it creating so much worry for women who's babies are absolutely fine. Equally , though in very tiny numbers admittedly, there is always going to be a few women who are given very low risks who get to twenty weeks to be told actually your baby does or may have Edwards or downsydrome and they need to do tests then.

Then there are the few where it is never picked up due to the spectrum of down sydrome as some cases are far more severe then others and less likely to be spotted on the anomonly at 20 weeks. But those chances are like one in hundreds of thousands!

If you are worried you can have the nipt, but it will cost you 400 pounds so it's a lot to no doubt confirm your baby does not carry any abnormalities or chromosomal issues

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 17/06/2020 14:48

@EithneBlue 👣👣

OP posts:
Aereon91 · 17/06/2020 14:50

Wow @confused107 I really feel for you in what must be a very anxious time. But as @ChampooPapi the risk is still very low and I'm sure further testing will give you more reassuring news 💕 my thoughts are with you and I'm glad that your hospital is letting you husband attend as well

@EithneBlue On the weather front we've had nothing but thunderstorms for the last 2 days! It's calmed down a bit now but it felt like a sigh of relief for the Earth watching the rain last night. Thunder was crazy, felt like our house was under the Niagra Falls :P

Snowwhite2020 · 17/06/2020 14:53

Thanks everyone. My SIL has used the crib with her two children (the last of which is 6 months old just now) and everyone has said we would get a new mattress. They are quite safety conscious so I doubt there are paint problems or bar problems... but good to flag this up! I will check.

Maybe I just feel put out because it’s a decision I feel is being taken away and it will be me at the end of the day getting up multiple times a night... DH will be at work and in laws no where to be seen! X

Snowwhite2020 · 17/06/2020 14:56

*DH doesn’t work through the night but will be up at 7am...

RestorationInsanity · 17/06/2020 15:03

Honestly I'd just put my foot down. It's not a "parenting" decision. It's a functionality decision. If you're going to be the one doing night waking and feeding etc then you need to decide what you're comfortable with. If it keeps the peace accept the crib and just put it in whatever will be the baby's room.

peachypetite · 17/06/2020 15:04

Sorry to hear your news @confused107.
I’ve finally started feeling better with no nausea for several days now!
@Snowwhite2020 if there is really something else you want I say put your foot down and don’t conform to the family pressure. I’ll be going for this I think which can be zipped down or up.

www.snuz.co.uk/snuzpod3-bedside-crib/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIv5yE6YGJ6gIVRLTtCh3eCgnlEAAYASAAEgLYgvD_BwE

Aereon91 · 17/06/2020 15:04

@Snowwhite2020 I can understand that must be frustrating as buying stuff for your baby is quite a personal thing, especially the first time round. If my partner's family kept offering it to me I'd feel rude to say no so that must be very annoying to be in that position

Personally we're looking at going for one of the Snuzpods for the first 6 months and then one of the bigger cribs that can convert in future from then, so it's a shame your husband seems against just having both :( as you said, you're the one who will be getting up the majority of the time... I think you need to talk to him and make him see it your way :)

EithneBlue · 17/06/2020 15:07

I'm using a friend's next to me crib (with new mattress obviously) but likely to put it slightly away from the bed (side zipped up). I am an extremely fidgety sleeper and would worry that I would kick the baby or something...

chubbyhotchoc · 17/06/2020 15:13

It's very annoying when you have forceful family input. The crib is not the biggest deal in the world as long as it's not low down and pretty safe. You can't really yank a baby towards you from the bed anyway so 9/10 you have to get up. They usually want feeding or changing which you have to get up for anyway. When you're a ftm especially though it is part of the experience choosing things. This will be my second and I'm slightly less fussy but only slightly 😂

confused107 · 17/06/2020 15:25

Thanks everyone. I have been to the hospital. She couldn't really explain why the results were high. She said it was a combination of factors including my age and the fact it is an IVF pregnancy. As I'm 16 weeks tomorrow they can only of an Amnio on the NHS. She could also not recommend anywhere for the NIPT but I've found a place locally that can do it on Friday for £399 so I'm booked in. They said I would hopefully have the results by the next Friday. I think if the results still come back high risk we will go for the Amnio, which is the only 100% yes/no way to find out as we feel for our own mental health and to prepare ourselves and our families we will need to know

She also told me that as they hadn't been able to test for Edwards or the other one (sorry I keep forgetting what that's called) as they couldn't measure the neck, so I feel like the NIPT will be the best way to get piece of mind that it isn't more serious than Down's syndrome. I asked about being re-measured and she said that it wasn't possible after 14 weeks. Something about the neck fluid only being clear until then.

Thank you for all of the support and best wishes, I guess it's a bit of a waiting game for the next couple of weeks now. The way we have decided to look at it though is until we know any different, we are 98% going to be ok

peachypetite · 17/06/2020 15:30

Exactly, once I’m further along I know I’ll really enjoy choosing my own things and won’t want people foisting things onto me!

Snowwhite2020 · 17/06/2020 15:46

Sorry to hear of your news @confused107. Hopefully you’ll be able to get a bit more certainty soon xx

nearlyamummyof3 · 17/06/2020 15:50

Hi all sorry I haven't been around.
I just had a scan and one of my babies doesn't have a heart beat.
I'm devastated.
Not sure how to take to all in.
You get so used to the idea of twins and suddenly one is gone.
The other baby is healthy and well so trying to concentrate on that 💙

peachypetite · 17/06/2020 15:59

Oh @nearlyamummyof3 Flowers
There is nothing any of us can say to bring you comfort. That’s so shocking and sad to hear, I hope you can take some time to process it and grieve, hope you have good real life support, hugs.

EithneBlue · 17/06/2020 16:00

@nearlyamummyof3 I'm so so sorry to hear that :-( Have the hospital got support in place for you?

lionsmum · 17/06/2020 16:01

@confused107 I'm sorry about your screening results, but great they got to see you so soon. It seems you and your husband are looking at it really positively and being proactive about the whole situation and plenty of women on here to give you great advice. Wishing you all the very best with your NIPT on Friday💖

With re to the sleeping arrangements we have a next2me which I'm looking forward to using. I plan on BF so seems to be the simplest way for us to work it. Totally personal choice though and lots of ways to work it!

Oh @nearlyamummyof3 I am devastated to read your news, truly heartbroken for you. It's such a trying time and no one can advise you on how best to get through it, grief and loss is so different for everyone. Wonderful that your other baby is healthy and like you said gives you something to concentrate on. You'll come up against a whole host of emotions which you will find your own way to battle through. May you and your partner lean on each other as much as needed during this difficult time💖

chubbyhotchoc · 17/06/2020 16:01

@nearlyamummyof3 I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you xxx