Gender disappointment

[HelloSunshine64]

Hey

I know I’m being stupid but I just need to talk. I’ve just had my scan and I don’t know want to know gender. The lady doing the scan said we won’t go down there because it was flashing earlier - surely this means a boy? X

I really didn't see any unnecessary meanness until the post calling others bitches. Telling women to be kind is emotionally manipulative drivel.

And it's quite ridiculous (not to mention hypocritical) to compare trivial gender disappointment with post natal depression which can be severely disabling and detrimental to new mothers. Not to mention potentially dangerous to the wellbeing and safety of her and her child. Says more about that poster than the "bitches" she was on about.

I've had a lot of negativity about having 2 girls "oh your poor husband" etc

I really wanted boys to be honest and glad i didn't find out beforehand as was perfectly happy each time!

I was disappointed when I found out my first was a boy.. I was adamant I was having a girl and I actually cried when they told me it was a boy.. everyone thought it was happy tears; it wasn't, I was gutted! It didn't last long.. and now he's here I obviously wouldn't even consider swapping him for a girl! I'm pregnant again and I'm having another boy, I was worried I'd feel the same as last time but I didn't.. I was happy to hear it was another healthy boy!

Don't beat yourself up.. the way I see it... it's no different to the complete meltdown I had this morning because someone put the cheese grater in the dishwasher.. I cried, I shouted at people.. I was fuming. Completely irrational.. your hormones are all over the place.. stupid things upset you.. you react in ways you wouldn't react normally.. that's all it is.

You know you'll love him/her when they're here whatever sex they are! X

@WhatwouldLangdo

Not fair on The baby. If being pregnant with a boy is too much of an inconvenience, don't have a baby then.

I'd call that pretty nasty.

@EarlGreyT off the point but what does BD stand for?

@roarfeckingroar

"Baby dance" which is the most cringe one of all

@ivfgottostaypositive 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

That is potentially the most cringy thing I've ever read. Nobody who uses that is mature enough to have children.

@Fedhimtotigers

Yup! And trust me after 5 years of infertility and timed sex I wouldn't call it a bloody "dance" - that's for the blissfully happy and fertile people

Why does every on of these feeds result in a gender Vs sex debate. Everyone gets it. Everyone knows what it's supposed to be. But OPs mind is probably elsewhere dealing with hormones and emotions. Making the post about a crusade to educate the masses about gender Vs sex detracts from the posters original intention for some reassurance. Take the terminology crusade up with private scan clinics instead 🙄

Also, titling the thread, 'Sex disappointment' would put a wholly different spin on it!

@FirstTimeBumps how else are they meant to get their superior concept fed? And how will all us peasants know that they are in fact better than us?!

That is potentially the most cringy thing I've ever read. Nobody who uses that is mature enough to have children.

I totally agree.

@roarfeckingroar
Yep it really is a cringeworthy and revolting term.

Wait until they're born - you won't care. I felt the same btw. Once you have a baby it's so mad you kind of forget the sex.

Also you still have a surprise so that's exciting.

And as always the discussion reverts to:

1. It's sex, not gender!
2. You are a terrible person who doesn't deserve children.

Dont worry op, you're pregnant and hormonal, you think the surprise has been ruined, you are NOT upset about having a boy, more mourning the idea of never having a daughter.

Heaven forbid you have feelings!

But seriously, I don't think the sonographer would have said it if he/she meant it like that. Girls can look pretty obvious too!

As in if they're waving their legs and you see girl genitals it's almost more obvious I think.

I recently found out I’m having a boy and felt the same OP. I was sure it was a girl, could only imagine myself with a girl, everyone else thought I was having a girl (all the old wives tales) and even the nub theory prediction I paid for said girl.

I was truly gutted and felt like I had lost something I longed for so badly. And I’ve had miscarriages and fertility issues before getting pregnant this time so don’t listen anyone saying ‘you should just be grateful you are pregnant’ it’s rude and wrong to dismiss anyone’s feelings.

Gender disappointment is a real thing and I will never feel ashamed of how I felt because it’s just how I felt at the time. I’m fine now and just looking forward to my little boy arriving :) But it isn’t wrong to have a preference and be upset if it doesn’t happen.

I dont consider myself to be a bitch as a previous poster put it but I have just read a thread on here about someone who lost their baby today - a baby boy. it has had me in tears. to then read someone being disappointed about the gender makes me feel a certain kind of way. I'm not going to apologise for that - I think if you are pregnant you need to accept the 50/50 chance of either sex, otherwise like a PP alluded to, you probably need to grow up a bit before you have a child.

Come on, Tartan. I'm also following that thread, it's very sad. Don't use that poor woman's pain as point scoring material here.

@FourPlasticRings it's not point scoring at all, it's a real life example of why I find these threads absolutely abhorrent. have also experience loss myself so I wouldnt be throwing accusations of point scoring around lightly

@tartanbow easy fix for you. Don't click on them. I stand by my opinion of the type of person you are.

I don’t think it’s fair at all to throw someone’s loss at another woman, whose experiences and feelings have no bearing on the loss the other has endured.
We don’t do this to women who have pnd

I'm not going to either go there with what i think is fair right now.

@Fedhimtotigers I find it interesting that you would rather call me a bitch then acknowledge why this sort of thing might be incredibly hurtful towards someone who has experienced loss who I personally consider more of a victim - myself included. I think that says a lot more about yourself :)

I'm not saying you cant be disappointed in gender but I think it's a bit of a joke in all honesty

even*

I don’t think OP is asking for counselling just asking if these are unique feelings. Women are too quick to pit one another against eachother, allow people to have their feelings.