Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

Hi all, plucked up the courage and spoke to my gp. I’m 8+2 and booked in for ante natal video consultation next weds. They said scans are no partners and there’s a long wait so I’ve booked a private as well for in two weeks time to get tests etc at 10+3. Private clinic offered a scan this weds but I don’t see the point if I may miscarry in the next two weeks anyway..... so onwards we go 😬 meanwhile there is a national marmite shortage which is stressing me the f out! I need marmite.... I demand marmite

@onlyreadingneverposting8 yes, prescribed. Ime pharmacists are massively risk averse re pregnancy medication but gps are more broadminded (or maybe more confident that they know what they're talking about?)

Thanks @AliasGrape & @PregnantPorcupine will try and sort it out. I'm also on aspirin I send DH if they get iffy about selling me it over the counter. He had problems getting 75mg tablets last time though so I may get the GP to put it on repeat when I sort out my clexane repeat prescription with them.

@Celibacydidntwork well done on the GP front. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 for you everything will be fine. I sympathise with your GP issue. I don't like my surgery at all. I loved our old one but annoyingly when we moved 0.7 miles down the road the surgery manager made us move. We only have a choice of one now and it's dreadful. The receptionists are difficult and we almost made a complaint to them for negligence back in January over our 17yr old ds only we are emigrating this year so didn't bother and as I said we have no choice to go anywhere else! Cutting a long story very very short - the GP left our ds with an urgent referral to gastroenterologist but said it would take 3 months when his symptoms were so bad that advice from a medical consultant friend I have was to take him to A&E immediately- he was admitted via A&E that day and had a 5 day stay - IV fluids, iron infusions and IV steroids for severe colitis.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I sent DH once and he came back with the 300mg ones despite my detailed instructions . Which was fine as I just halved them. Last time I managed to buy them in boots, along with some own brand piriton for the dog - was expecting to be refused both but the lad behind the counter was only young and he either didn’t spot the bump or didn’t realise it made a difference.

I love my GP surgery and my sister works there which is handy, although I can’t ask her to book me an appointment or just check results or anything anymore due to GDPR.

Problem is I’m hugely out of zone - I moved briefly into my sister’s before moving house a while back and changed my address with the gp to hers. Then I never bothered changing it as I barely needed the gp and when I did I preferred to drive to that one. I’ve was going to change after my 16 week appointment but then lockdown happened. Definitely on my list for this week to do - the one near us isn’t that great apparently (DH uses it) but I’ll need to be registered there once the baby arrives.

Just a quickie hello from me as working and having a quick read through.

@Frazzlerock I was meant to be in Prague this weekend seeing Guns n Rose's as a 40th day pressie for DP 😭😭

Instead ds and I watched Space Camp on Friday night. Rock and Roll! 😂

We were also meant to go to Warsaw in October to see Alanis Morissette but it is so close to my due date. Got an email this morning saying it is now November 2021. What are the chances of this bubba being ok to be left with grandparents for a weekend at a year old? Has potential or am I dreaming?

@Sheera1 1 year old? Yes definitely! I have bought tickets to see John Cooper-Clarke at our local venue and baby will be 10 weeks old! DP is not comfortable with it, but I figured I'd buy the tickets anyway as his birthday present (Dec birthday). We can always pass the tickets on if we don't feel comfortable. Granted, that is only for one night, but a year old for the weekend? God, yes! I'd love to see Alanis

Yay! I was so looking forward to it. Here's to sweet talking the grandparents!

Gun n Rose's don't have a new date but unless it is way after that I might be taking the Mickey! 😂. I have all my money back from that trip at least from the hotel and flights refund should come eventually! Warsaw Alanis trip I was going to have to get a GP letter but hopefully I can change the flights for a wee fee and the hotel for free. It is Ryanair though 🙈

@Sheera1 I've kept buying gig tickets with the idea I'll leave my daughter by then. She's two now and I still can't leave her. She'd be left but I can't bare it!

Yes I think an overnight was all I could bear till ds was 2. X

Hi everyone so my 13 week scan is in 11 days or so, with my other two I just went and that was that but with my daughter last time came back as high risk and I was so stressed so wondering should I be asking what the nuchal measurements etc should be ? Any quotations? I want to have a private nipt or harmony but I can't see anywhere in Glasgow? 😩

Hey @Clarkel1 they should tell you there and then what the nuchal measurements are. They may even look for the nasal bone. Our Harmony consultant did but when I mentioned that at the NHS NT scan the sonographer said they don't pay any attention to it as some babies have a a nasal bone and some don't.

Re Harmony, what about this one. They appear to have a clinic in Glasgow abc4d.co.uk/harmony-test/
This one too www.gcrm.co.uk/treatments/harmony-prenatal-test/

@Clarkel1 Sonographer at my 13 week scan told me the nuchal fold measurement. I have declined anymore testing than just the fold measurement and scans. Cant remember exactly what it was now but she said it was totally normal.

Great I will ask. Yeah I know I'm in two minds I don't know what to do regarding private screening, it's quite expensive as well and my husband thinks I'm putting pressure on myself. 😞 I had high risk at 29 and it was very stressful so hopefully ok this time.

@AncientandPregnant how are you today? X

Hi Clarke1 . I am in Glasgow too! I went to Ultrsound Direct in Berkeley Street in Glasgow. It was £400 for NIPT and scan. They are really lovely. My sample has failed three times but it is not their fault. I think all places prob use the same lab in London.

My Nuchal measurement was 1.7mm at 12+6 days. They didn't tell me but ti was written on a bit of paper I then took to my clinic appointment following it.

Google says that is bang in normal range but without other factors thrown in it is meaningless apparently. I think anything over 3mm is quite high and something liem 6mm would indicate there was high probability of downs.

I was convinced I would get high risk from the NHS test but came back low at 1 in 2653.

@Sheera1 I will ask when I go, so did they refund you for the failed tests? I'm probably just panicking because my daughters was high risk and all the worry etc and then she was perfectly fine. I was only 29 at the time so so she was on my side 🙈 even though I know age isn't always a factor I feel I'm worrying more now as I'm 39 x

Yes they did. I only paid for a scan at £70 and I actually got three scans in the e d each time I went for a redraw. My BMI seems to be the main factor it kept failing as didn5get enough fetal DNA in my blood sample. Plus I am a weirdo and these things never work for me. My labour with DS was very interesting. None of the machines worked. I did tell them is advanced and the scoffed. I was serious. 😁🙈. Their faces when all the electrical equipment kept failing 😂🙈.

Quick question for you ladies. After Friday’s scan I have pretty clearly written this pregnancy off in my head as 7+4 and no measurable heartbeat seems definitive to me . However I have to wait for confirmation From another scan.

Today is my booking in appointment for maternity services. Do I go? I can’t get through to anyone at the hospital to ask. I suppose in the 1% chance this pregnancy is viable I need to be booked in but it seems a cruel process given I will have to discuss birth options and stuff.

@AncientandPregnant Its so tricky, you'd need to speak to the hospital really. Maybe it can be postponed. What time is your appointment? I would try ringing after 9am unless your appointment is earlier. I honestly don't know what I'd do without speaking to them first.

How are you doing this morning?

Thanks @Frazzlerock. I kept calling yesterday to no avail but will try again today. My appointment is late morning.

I’m OK. I was destroyed on Saturday but calmer now. I have to control myself to stop googling miracle stories of which there are some out there but they are the 1% and I need to remember that. It’s also cruel that I am so bloated this week that I have to hide my “bump”.

@AncientandPregnant really feeling for you. I didn't get booked until 12 weeks and that only happened because I had some light bleeding and ended up at the epu at 10 weeks 2 days and they made me go down to antenatal and register. I didn't want to go through the process if I was just going to have another mc (had 3 consecutive before this pregnancy). If it helps I was booked at 12+3 having registered at 10+2 and had my scan at 13 weeks exactly. So if you don't want to get booked in today I think that's totally reasonable. Xxx sending love xxx

@AncientandPregnant I remember the feeling so well so can empathise. I did the same as you, desperate for some hope when I went through something similar a couple of pregnancies ago. But at the same time, I knew it was hopeless. But strange things happen, you know. The past 4 years have given us nothing but bad luck and utter shite chucked at us. It's different to what you're going through right now but when I had my first massive bleed/haemorrhage with this pregnancy I was 100% certain the baby had gone. Several people were trying to give me some hope, even my bereavement midwife said there is some hope and I couldn't understand why they would be so cruel as to try to raise my hopes when it really was hopeless. But lo and behold, several days later, we saw a little life in there. Good things have not happened to us for such a long time and then we get this stroke of luck finally. All I'm saying is, that 'miracles' (for want of a better word) do happen when you least expect them to. I so hope it happens for you. That's probably not at all helpful if you're trying to admit defeat, which is totally understandable. I will be holding onto all hope for you x

On a completely different side (& this is meant to be light hearted) - there's a mn thread running on whether a woman should try for a second baby at 43. From reading this and other similar threads on mn I have concluded that in mn world there is a small window of approximately age 30 - 34 when it is acceptable to have children. Before you're too young, inexperienced and should be building your career and financial security; any later and your definitely going to have a disabled child, ruin everybody's life and won't be around long enough for the child! Oh and only have 1 or 2 otherwise you're the reason the environment is doomed and he total cause of over population. As I pointed out it my DH assuming I live to the average age for a woman (hoping ill live longer than that) this baby will be nearly 40....how long is long enough to be around for a child??