Bus Graduates: Tickets for Oct/Nov/Dec

[professorastrocat]

Here we go!

I’ve booked a private scan for 13th June so DH can come along. He’s really excited so I’m glad I’ve got it booked in!

@BooMamaBear 😆 I'm sure the 5 weeks will pass quickly!

That's good @Wise0wl my other half is just leaving it to me! Though I have two scans later in the pregnancy and as they are probably September, you never know by that point, hopefully he'll be able to come. Not the same as him not being there this week though. He even says just find out the sex and tell me when you get home!! I was going to get them to write it down or summat 🤣

He said he had a dream last night there was a little blond girl in our house throwing crisps around. Not sure if that's a sign 😂

@professorastrocat maybe that is a sign??! I keep referring to bump as ‘he’ (just feels right) so we’ll find out in a couple of weeks! After that scan we’re going to tell family and friends (just two friends know at the mo).

@Wise0wl you've done so well keeping things a secret! I told some friends at 8 weeks as I needed to explain why I was so grumpy and fed up!

Yeah I keep referring to the baby as he just on autopilot. Not long now till will know for sure (presuming they're able to tell)

@professorastrocat I haven’t seen anyone, so it’s easy to keep it quiet (and feel v stressed about telling work so have slightly been in denial...)

When will you find out what you’re having?

Is it people at work or taking mat leave that's stressing you out?My scan is on
Thursday 😊 @Wise0wl

Ah good luck for Thurs @professorastrocat!

I’ve asked for a salary review but nobody at my company has taken mat leave during the time I’ve been there so I feel v stressed about it. I absolutely deserve a pay rise based on my performance (without being big headed) but don’t want them to be pissed off I’ve asked for one and then told them about the baby!

More generally I don’t like being the centre of attention so I think that’s why we’ve kept the pregnancy quiet. Plus I feel like something might go wrong (based on no actual evidence!)

Wow you have done well to keep quiet @wise0wl! I told my closest friends the day i found out, work the next day (coz of corona), my sister the day after that, my mum at about 6 weeks, my brother about 2 weeks ago oh and my oldest daughter has known since we found out too! Gonna tell the younger two boys wed and i think he'll tell his family then too 😂 so yeah, everyone already knows lol

I understand the concern @Wise0wl is it a small company? They would have no right to be pissed off and if they were its their weird problem! You can be the first to make use of their lovely maternity leave policy - it's your right and don't let it stop you getting whatever pay you deserve 😊

@Hatepickinganame that’s so nice everyone knows!
@professorastrocat yeah it is small company, you’re right I need to just be brave!!

Haha yeah @Wise0wl or as Mumsnet would say you'll need to 'put your big girl pants on' 🙄😆🤔

Right this might be a bit of a ramble. but i just need to offload a bit!

So the referral from the private scan at the weekend has been received by my local hospital and I been contacted by a specialist screening midwife co-ordinator to talk me through the next steps. I need to attend a different hospital which has a more specialist foetal medicine department and really high tech scanner. I'm now waiting on news hopefully today about another scan appointment with a consultant cardiologist at the end of the week.

The logistics are a bit of a nightmare as I don't actually drive and this particular hospital is about 40mins away by car and very difficult to get to via public transport (not that I would want to use that at the moment anyway) DH cant actually attend the specialist scan part either which i've been warned probably take 1h+ because they will look at every aspect of baby not just the heart where they think there could be a problem. I will be immediately debriefed with any results/findings by the consultant after the scan which DH will be able to be part of BUT then what do we do with DD?? She cant come to the hospital for any of it obviously. We have no appropriate local support who could assist but My DP's who live about 4hr drive away and are not vulnerable etc have said they will come as long as there is physically enough notice to arrive have already packed a bag so can leave with minutes notice if needed but there is no way they could do this without an over night or physically coming in to house - which even with the relaxed rules isn't 'allowed'
Gosh this is such a mess! I just don't know what to do for the best my head is all over the place.

Gosh that sounds really stressful, logistics are a nightmare at the moment aren't they!

I totally get why you'd need DH there for the debrief bit. I think it depends in this circumstance on how you feel about your DPs being in the house. Would you feel you were putting them at risk etc.

As awful as the dilemma is I think I would personally lean towards DH and DD being in the car/having a little walk about and having to do it on my own. You could ask if you could record the debrief ? That's really tough on you and your DH though.

As with so much at the moment, things are a personal decision that only you can make. Big hugs x

@Talcott2007 what a tough situation. I agree with @professorastrocat but also if the whole Dominic Cummings saga has taught us anything it’s that we all need to make our own decisions. If it was me, I’d want DH at the hospital so would have parents to stay, if they’re low risk.

On the previous @professorastrocat - you’re right! Big girl pants prepped for telling work in the next couple of weeks.

I'd be Ok if i had to attend alone - I mean if the hospital had said that no one else could attend I'd cope because i'd need to (logistics of still needing to be driven there aside) However DH is amendment about attending as well and I get that - this is his DD too and if roles were reversed I'd want to know what was happening 1st hand direct from the specialists. My DP are not old - early and mid 60's, have no underlying heath issues that would put them at higher risk of complications and both households have been following all the guidance on appropriate isolating up until now. Still so torn. Have an appointment arranged at last for Friday morning so still have a day or so to make a final decision.

All the best with your decision @Talcott2007

@Wise0wl apologies, it's such a silly saying 😂 good luck with work!

I'm officially excited now for my scan, only 2 more sleeps!

Ha not at all @professorastrocat - it made me laugh because I’ve just bought myself giant pants and they’re really comfy!

How exciting RE your scan!!

Oh wow @Talcott2007 that’s such a tough decision. Great that your parents are happy to support. Is your DD1 in nursery or school? Mine is going back to nursery tomorrow, with no social distancing (obviously) and so I suppose in your situation I would maybe ask a nursery worker to babysit, or the parent of one of her friends who she would be seeing anyway. But if that didn’t work out my view is your parents visiting would be fine. What does your DH think??

It’s my 20 week scan tomorrow and I’m back in the place of ‘there’s no baby in there any more’. Love my very illogical thought processes at the moment!!

Good luck for you'd can tomorrow @Needallthesleep and gorcypurs the day after @professorastrocat
Itvusxreallyvtough @Talcott2007 -my DH should really have been with me when u had the CVS the consultant said it wasn't ideal that he wasn't with me but he had to look after DD we were in full on lockdown then!
The friends might be a good idea one of my DDs friend and mum is coming over to our back garden and we figure as they aren't going back to pre-school (they're closed) this is still a smaller 'bubble' than she'd be with at pre-school!! Xx

All the best for today @Needallthesleep and @Hatepickinganame

Good luck @needallthesleep and @Hatepickinganame!! Hope they go well 🙂

Thanks guys, just in waiting room now. Nervous!! Good luck @needallthesleep

Good luck for today guys!

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time @Talcott2007. Hopefully the scan will give you some reassurance

Thanks so much. All looks well, they confirmed we are definitely having another girl, I was an emotional wreck and sobbed throughout but the midwife was very lovely.

Good news @Needallthesleep a good luck @Hatepickinganame and for tomorrow good luck @professorastrocat!

I think I've pooped again girls this was this morning and I've still got 18.5 weeks to go and I already feel like a house!!