November 2020 Babies - Thread 4

[Sakura54]

Another new thread for the Nov mums to continue our discussion. It’s nearly time for our dating scans!

@Jen1311, insist that they don’t just dip it but send it off to the lab too. I had a uti when I was 6 weeks pregnant which came back fine on a dip but when cultured turned out to be a uti.

With how much time I'm spending sitting or lying down, genuinely think I'm going to need to physio to be able to stand for more than 1 hour after all this lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hi ladies,

I am also attached to the couch and really still struggling with Morning sickness. The medication I'm on doesn't seem to be working.
OH has decided he won't be doing any cleaning around the house because in his words "then he will have to do it all"
I've had to move a family member into our home to help me with cooking and cleaning, but obviously this is not a sustainable long term solution.
I'm now worrying about what will happen when We have a newborn.

Can anyone give me any advise on what to do in this situation?

Sorry but in my opinion your OH has to change his attitude! You are growing a child! He needs to step up and do his bit while you do yours. He is going to be a dad. He will need to help a lot once the baby comes. No woman can do everything alone. Cleaning and doing whatever needs doing is now his job in this 'having a baby' thing.

I don't know about anyone else but I'm finding today really difficult and emotional. Been crying most of the day because I can't leave and I can't see my parents and I'm worried about the pregnancy. Everything just seems to have got on top of me today. Went back to bed about an hour ago and haven't moved since. X

@futuredreams that was me yesterday. Today is a much better day, we are literally just having to take each day in our stride. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for you x
@Clove20 sounds very similar to my ex husband when I was pregnant all those years ago, I never nipped it in the bud so it never improved. If I were you I would take a stand.

@clove20

Do you usually do all the cleaning/housework?

Imo everything should be shared. Dh and I have always shared everything and when I'm growing a human being/recovering from birth or feeding a baby he does more housework because I'm doing things he can't, so he bears more of the load.

@Clove20 I think your husbands attitude is unacceptable. I'm afraid you have married a man-child. Sorry to be so blunt but you are clearly really struggling with sickness and this attitude will not help you. It will also not improve with a newborn.

@Clove20 my husband and I share all of the housework. We even take it in turns to clean the bathroom as we both dislike it 😂 I do most of the cooking, but that’s because I enjoy it and also I meal plan for diet reasons so it’s easier if I do it. You need to nip this in the bud as it is not acceptable.

Thanks to everyone who responded.

I've never done all the housework/cooking myself, but there have been times I'd have to encourage him to do his bit.

I'm going to put my foot down (was planning on doing so anyway) but just wanted to confirm that I'm not being ruled by hormones and this is really an unacceptable situation.

When ever my husband kicks up a fuss for doing extra work whilst I'm doing 'nothing' I offer we can swap and he grows the baby ... seems to work 😂👍🏼

Best of luck @clove20

I usually say something like 'ok. The next time you have a vomiting bug, you can make dinner and clean the bathroom. Fair enough?'. In fairness to my husband, he wasnt great on DC1. It took him a long time to adjust to the idea that there was always things that needed doing, and I did A LOT while I was pregnant and especially after I had DD. But, i ended up with PND and psychosis and I was a broken woman. This time around, I am sitting down and, fair play to him, he has done it all.

Having a baby with someone is a partnership. There will be times he needs you, and this is a time you need him. The men need to step up at this time. It's a hard job growing a baby and giving birth.

@Clove20 sorry but I think your husbands attitude is awful - stern words and reality check I think. Not dealing with it now will give you a real uphill struggle once baby arrives. Good luck x

The 1950’s just called and want Mr @Clove20 back!

He absolutely should be stepping up now, and certainly when the baby arrives. My sickness has been appalling this time round and my OH has been stellar in keeping house and looking after the 3 year old.

On the subject of sickness, I’m struggling today. It’s the fluid intake. I’m trying, I really am, but the effect of the drugs seem to be waning a little and I’m terrified of ending up back in hospital. Will keep at it and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Hey!! All was fine at scan. Measured 8+6 today!
My bubs has tiny arm and leg buds!!! 🥰🥰🥰

@Fouryearslater that made me giggle 🤭

He is acting like we are in the 1950's.

I will be having words and hoping for change because I will be in the same position when I give birth with not being able to do much round the house. & if he wants any more kids he will have to pull his socks up Cos I can't imagine doing this in this way

Wish me luck!

@Clove20 my DH has been fairly good but I still don’t think he understands how we are feeling. I ended up reading some of the messages on here to him to try get him to understand it’s not just me feeling this way and it’s completely normal. I think he understood a bit more after that

@clove20 the ladies here are right and tbh with you, they are being nice with their choice of words. If you had started a thread about this, posters would be attacking him and his appalling attitude. Having a home and a baby takes some serious teamwork. I hope you will be able to talk some sense into him and do keep us updated.

@Pippop21 yay so pleased for you!! Congratulations

I'm also finding it hard today. Credit to my DH he has totally stepped up and is doing a lot more than usual but I've been really dizzy and short of breath and he's done a great job of making sure I'm ok and not doing too much. But his grandma unexpectedly died last week, they were fairly close and it's really tough not being able to see family, only 8 people allowed at funeral etc. He has been so tense and upset - the death was really unexpected though in her own bed at home so not awful I suppose. He was coping alright but this morning a call from his sister who had been speaking to grandad who is now alone, saying he just 'wants this virus to get it all over with and be gone too' and is now adamant he is leaving his house and going out whenever so he can catch it. So of course DH has been upset and not himself all day, on a day I'm also feeling crap with dizziness and general exhaustion. Things would be so much better if we could just see our families having good days and bad days but really getting sick of it now. I know we all are and no one predicted this but my god it's not nice x

@Pippop21 congratulations!! So glad it went well today

@Pippop21 congratulations on the scan 😀
@Clove20 glad to hear that you'll have words with your OH. Being a family really does mean teamwork!

@Pippop21 So glad to hear the scan went okay!! Was thinking about you today and hoping for good news. X

@Pippop21yayy I am so pleased for you! Congratulations xx

Thanks all, i'll apologise now for in a weeks time when the reassurance of this scan runs out and im back panicking like yest 😅 haha