3 binge occasions early pregnancy

[Mrsdt15655]

I know this topic has been posted on before but I'm going out of my mind with worry. I have anxiety anyway but it's getting much much worse in the last week. I found out I was pregnant but before that I had three occasions when I drank a huge amount of wine (no other drinking besides that). My distress is such that I have booked a termination for tomorrow. This was a wanted child and I am so distraught that I have messed this up so badly. I drank heavily at 3+4 weeks, 4+4 and 4+5 weeks. I am desperate to hear from anyone who has done this. The other complication is that I have a fatty liver and therefore my body doesn't metabolise alcohol very well - a reason I haven't been drinking but I assumed I couldn't get pregnant as have been trying for a year.

When I was pregnant with my first son, I had no idea. I binge drank and even used cocaine on one occasion.

He's a bright and happy 7 year old, currently arguing about the decimal point.

If this is a wanted pregnancy, don't terminate purely because you unknowingly did something that is advised against.

How much wine is a lot to you?

My understanding is that alcohol taken in the first few weeks of pregnancy does not affect the development of the foetus. At less than 5 weeks pregnant there is not even a beating heart just a yolk sac.

I’m surprised that your clinic is allowing you to proceed with a termination without exploring at all your reasons for wanting to terminate a wanted pregnancy. Please do speak to the doctors about your concerns before you make this decision.

This will have had very very little effect on your baby. The baby's blood supply isn't coming via the placenta yet so your blood alcohol won't be affecting it much at all.

I wouldn't terminate due to this. It won't have hurt the baby. Are you worried about your drinking in the future? Can you contact your gp or talk to anyone else about it?

I was drunk a few times before I knew I was pregnant, both children absolutely fine.

It is not advisable or something you would do knowingly. But I wouldn't worry too much or have a termination for that reason.

With #1 I went out clubbing the entire weekend, found out I was pregnant on the Monday. With this one I was drinking pretty much every night because of lockdown stress (1-3 drinks per night) before finding out.

They are in their own little sac to start with so it won't harm them. Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (which I guess is what your scared of) is from sustained drinking throughout pregnancy. A couple of nights out in the very early days won't cause it.

Thank you for your replies. I should also add I'm a bit older - 39 - and this has made me even more worried. I'm not worried about drinking in the future. I will never drink again. This has actually given me a phobia of alcohol. I had a consultation with BPAS and the midwife was very reassuring but I can't seem to shift the thought that something might be wrong. It was the amount I drank in a short period of time and how long it was probably in my system. My partner is worried about my mental health but I think whichever way I go I am going to have extreme anxiety/depression. I'm so sad that I could have harmed my child.

If it makes you feel better between conception and pregnancy test o have Christmas, new year, hen party and my wedding party plus some other casual drinking. My midwife was completely okay about it and told me to relax and not to stress as the chances of any damage to my baby was lower than exceptionally low.

I'm ashamed to say I had up to three bottles on two occasions, which is a huge amount. It's strange as I can't remember the last time I drank like this. It's been years. I tend to avoid alcohol as it doesn't agree with me and due to my liver issues. That's 27 units of alcohol and to put it in context, it's like 20 shots of vodka. I am completely in shock that I did this. I could blame the lockdown and the chatting with friends over Zoom etc. and all of the stress at the moment but nobody forced me to drink like that. It's so upsetting and such bad timing.

Stop beating yourself up.

Your baby is going to be fine in regards to the alcohol.

I've had more than that to drink on a school night before now. There's no need to be ashamed. You know that you won't be doing it again. Put it down to a mistake and leave it alone.

Your partner is right to be concerned about your mental health. You're Letting your anxiety get the better of you.

You are letting your anxiety take control here. You've not harmed your baby so relax and think about if you really want this baby because anxiety shouldn't be making the decisions for you.
The main thing for the baby is you found out early enough to stop drinking before any harm could occur.

I think you’re worrying unnecessarily. I had a very boozy weekend in Amsterdam. A weekend with friends where we attempted to drink every flavour of vodka in my house (I had 18 different bottles).
My pregnancy wasn’t impacted, and my 3.5 year old had no health issues.
Rather than terminate, why don’t you book a harmony test? That way you can be reassured if there are complications?
Babies born with fetal alcohol syndrome are not the result of a few boozy nights before the parents know they’re expecting.
To terminate a wanted baby is mind blowing to me.

Please calm down. I know of somebody who didn't know she was pregnant until she was in labour. She had multiple boozy nights out, hot tub weekends, all the foods you're not meant to have and her baby is fine. There are lots of cases like that

The scientific articles online are terrifying me. I have read every scientific paper on this and they say that high blood alcohol levels even at this early stage could start a process that is impossible to come back from. The evidence is damning and when I think that I could have harmed my child, I feel sick to my stomach and can't bear the thought that my baby could be born with huge disadvantages in his/her life down to my stupidity. I did speak to a consultant friend (albeit not an obstetrician) and he said that it should be fine and I should concentrate on the pregnancy going forward. My thoughts are completely jumbled. I haven't been sleeping and I don't know what to think.

Echoing everything everyone else said about how this happens to lots of women all the time and the extreme, extreme unlikeliness of it causing anything wrong. I’m 44, so a fair bit older than you, and found myself unexpectedly pregnant at the end of November, and the week before that (before I’d tested) I’d been away at a conference and had, on 2 nights, huge formal dinners that started with early pre-dinner drinks, wine throughout, and finished in the early hours of the morning in the hotel bar each time. I’m now 24 weeks and the baby is doing absolutely fine. So please try not to worry that youve caused any harm. But your strength of feeling about it and your reaction so far does seem to be something worth exploring, to help you get through the pregnancy? Wishing you all the best.

Thank you for all your replies. I have never used Mumsnet before I could see how supportive the community is.

I spent a debauched weekend drinking, smoking and partaking in class A drugs 5 days before I found out I was pregnant.

I’m not proud of it, I’d done a pregnancy test the afternoon before we went out as I knew there was a chance I could’ve been (we’d been actively trying). It was negative so off we went and enjoyed ourselves.
5 days later I felt awful and took the second test and was horrified/ overjoyed to discover I was pregnant.

I spent a long time worrying, I eventually confessed to my midwife and she did her best to reassure me. I did enjoy my pregnancy after the 20 weeks scan was fine.
Happy, healthy child born who is now a whacking great gorgeous 10 year old.

When you say "strength of feeling", do you mean instinct that I could have done some harm?

The problem with articles about alcohol in pregnancy is that you’re never going to find a proper definitive study under proper scientific conditions with suitable control evidence, because (obviously) pregnant women are not going to volunteer for it. So the articles are all going to be based on an certain element of extrapolation, without being able to fully isolate and test the effects of alcohol.

@Mrsdt15655 by “strength of feeling” I meant more than that - it was that you are considering termination because of it, and that you describe having something like a phobia of alcohol now. A lot of us will worry about our babies, for various reasons, and may worry that something we did or didn’t do has caused harm - I mean this very kindly and gently but you seem very anxious about something that a lot of women encounter in pregnancy and are able to see past. Your feelings are real, and mustn’t be dismissed, so please don’t think that I’m telling you that you shouldn’t feel scared or nervous, because pregnancy is hard for people in all sorts of different ways. But this particular thing really does happen all the time - it’s not at all unusual for women to find out they’re pregnant by surprise and after they’ve been drinking/smoking/eating Brie/ whatever.

@Secondsop Thanks so much for this considered reply. It's just the amount. I keep having flashbacks about how drunk I was - it seemed to go straight to my head. The midwife I spoke to said that was common in pregnancy as we can't handle alcohol with the pregnancy hormones. She even told me she was very drunk herself on holiday and when she could barely stand up, she suspected she might be pregnant. I know this should reassure me but I drank SO much. Three bottles of wine is a shocking amount of booze to put into a tiny embryo. I had a scan the next day in my panic and they couldn't even see a gestational sac. I had one 7 days later and they could see the gestational sac and yolk sac. I have been on the phone to any expert who will listen and they say the chances are small but I keep thinking about how intoxicated I was. I can't seem to let it go. I found two examples of women on US sites who said that early binges caused FAS but I don't know how reliable this is as I can't find any other examples of early pregnancy drinking causing such effects. I have no idea how I could get past the next 8 months with this anxiety and worry.

A scan that early with no sac, and a scan a week later with a gestational sac and yolk sac, sounds like entirely normal, standard progression to me. It accords exactly with my own experience of early scans. At the times you were drinking, there just wouldn’t have been anything significant formed. As you say you’ve found 2 examples - but just on this thread you’ve had maybe 10 examples of women who drank as much if not more than you and whose pregnancies progressed fine. You will also find examples of pregnancies where the women did everything “right” eg abstained from drinking for months beforehand, took vitamins, etc, but where the pregnancies sadly didn’t progress; there’s always an example for everything in pregnancy and you can never be 100% sure about anything - but you can take comfort in the fact that you have done nothing in the slightest bit unusual. When you get further along, you’ll get numbers for things like risk of anomalies, and you’ll never be able to be completely certain about anything (even a risk of 1:10,000 isn’t a zero risk). If you can find some strategies for coping with risks in pregnancy, you might find that helpful.

Oh OP you sound so upset- please try not to admonish yourself- it's a very strange time at the moment.
I too had a LOT to drink ~smoke, swallow, snort~ just before I found out I was pregnant with my DS (We took a VERY long time to conceive and finally gave up so we had no idea it had happened). He is absolutely perfect in every way (Although is currently eating woodlice but that's not to do with it!)
If you want this baby then please don't do something you might later regret.

@YouBringLightInToADarkPlace Thanks so much for getting back to me. Could I ask if you had such an excessive binge like this? From what I've read, the evidence shows binges like mine is far worse than steady drinking. The strangest thing is I drank quickly and totally unlike how I normally drink. I don't know why - maybe anxiety due to the current situation, maybe just wanting to have a bit of fun while being cooped up inside. I am in complete shock that I did this - and would be even if I wasn't pregnant. My friend - the consultant - said that this shock is good as he knows women who drank over the whole pregnancy (which is not good - albeit their babies were OK) and he thinks an early shock for me means I will avoid alcohol for the remainder of the pregnancy, which I would have anyway.

binges like mind *are - editing my reply too quickly!

Don't terminate a wanted child for this!
You're not sharing via the placenta early on anyway.
I understand that you feel guilty, but you didn't know. As long as you don't drink throughout you'll be fine.