3 binge occasions early pregnancy

[Mrsdt15655]

I know this topic has been posted on before but I'm going out of my mind with worry. I have anxiety anyway but it's getting much much worse in the last week. I found out I was pregnant but before that I had three occasions when I drank a huge amount of wine (no other drinking besides that). My distress is such that I have booked a termination for tomorrow. This was a wanted child and I am so distraught that I have messed this up so badly. I drank heavily at 3+4 weeks, 4+4 and 4+5 weeks. I am desperate to hear from anyone who has done this. The other complication is that I have a fatty liver and therefore my body doesn't metabolise alcohol very well - a reason I haven't been drinking but I assumed I couldn't get pregnant as have been trying for a year.

Please stop worrying. Your baby will be fine. Look after yourself over the coming months, eat healthily, maybe have some online counselling to deal with your anxieties. Cancel the termination and start looking forward to becoming a mother. I know heaps of people who drank heavily then subsequently found out they were pregnant. My DD was conceived (with a coil insitu) during a red wine infused holiday to France and she is perfect.

OP your baby is 100 percent fine. The placenta to supply blood to your baby isn't connected until weeks 7/8, until then the baby lives off the sac from the egg. So it's impossible to transfer any alcohol. It's natures trick to keep the baby safe until you know it's there. It's literally impossible for you to have exposed your baby to anything.

I just read something that said pregnant women shouldn't even use mouthwash due to the alcohol content. I'm becoming increasingly anxious and depressed. I know it sounds like I'm blowing this out of proportion but I can't bring myself to believe that I haven't done any damage.

OP when I conceived my child I was on an all inclusive holiday where I drank massive amounts every day, I returned home with a duty free litre of gin and a duty free litre of vodka, I had consumed most of these by the time I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant, my daughter is completely fine. Stop catastrophising this, it's really no big deal.

Hi OP, totally understandable that you are worried but I know two ladies who didn't realise they were pregnant till 12 weeks. They both binge drank during that period quite a number of times and now have very healthy children of 5 and 9 years old. My understanding is that it is only sustained heavy drinking that causes issues. Three occasions isn't going to be a problem. Stop beating yourself up!

My understanding (from reading Expecting Better) is that heavy drinking in very early pregnancy can cause miscarriage. And if you don't miscarry, then you're fine. It's regular heavy drinking later on that causes problems. (And that's something like 7 drinks a day, every day.) Why don't you try to download an e book copy of Expecting Better and read the relevant chapter tonight. Honestly this is not a reason to terminate. (Off the back of reading that book I have enjoyed a glass of wine every few weeks and I have no concerns for the health of my baby.)

I went for an ultrasound today due to my panic and both the sonographer and midwife said that I cannot be 6+2 weeks today, which is what I calculated based on my lmp. They estimated 4+5, which I think is also inaccurate based on my estimates but there is a possibility I ovulated late (my periods and ovulation have been incredibly unpredictable since I started taking fertility drugs). If I am around 5+3 (as a mean of lmp and their estimate), that would mean I drank heavily around my the time I was 4 weeks. I know a few days shouldn’t matter but I felt like such a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Thanks for all of your replies. This has been a very dark time for me and your support helped so much. It also made me realise that my anxiety needs to be dealt with and that I clearly have some panic around pregnancy in particular. I have been in touch with a therapist who specialises in these issues. Even though it his has been so hard, I think I needed to go through it to make some positive changes.

I should probably add I had three miscarriages between the ages of 33 and 35. I think some of my fears are related to this.

@Mrsdt15655 I’m pleased to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I agree with other posters that a huge number of women drink in early pregnancy before they find out they are pregnant, please don’t terminate your pregnancy on that basis. I found out I was pregnant in the airport on the way home from a boozy weekend away having drank for 3 days solid! It is an anxious time but please try not to worry and don’t be too hard on yourself.

You need to stop going on the Internet. The amount of scary stories out there is terrifying and would give anyone anxiety! I was on a work trip at the beginning of my first pregnancy, in a country where the 'forbidden' foods are very common, before I got any symptoms (I did not suspect I was pregnant), so ate unpasteurised cheese, ham, hot dogs from a dodgy street stand near work, drank alcohol, you name it. The first four weeks of pregnancy we're not really pregnant, so please please do not beat yourself up!

I drank an awful lot before discovering I was 20+ weeks pregnant with DS2. I shudder to remember how much I drank over Christmas and New Year (when I was about 8/9 weeks pregnant) then a couple of glasses of wine 2 or 3 times a week on top. Obviously I stopped at once when I realised I was pregnant, but I worried terribly that he'd develop FAS. But just because there are risks, it does not mean that it is inevitable! DS was absolutely fine, healthy and doing very well at school 8 years on. I can't imagine terminating a wanted child because of such a tiny, tiny risk. And it is a tiny risk at such an early gestation. Really. Many, many women drink too much (and do much riskier things too) before they find out they are pregnant. The vast, vast majority of them have perfectly healthy babies.

Thank you for your insights. I have been fretting a bit again today and thinking perhaps the ultrasound was wrong and I am further along than they say. I am an anxious person anyway but it seems that pregnancy seems to be making it much worse. I keep having flashbacks of how much I drank, the way I drank and the carelessness of it. I then keep thinking about how I haven't drank like that in years and wonder about the bad luck of having such a binge the one time in my life it was such a bad thing to do. Even so, your messages truly are reassuring me. Even the sonographer said that anything that gets to the embryo at this stage is diffuse and very unlikely to cause an issue. They didn't see a fetal pole yesterday, which is why they think I can't be 6+2.

I just had a phone conversation with my obstetrician and she said that they have no guarantees and that I did drink a huge amount. This phone call has made me so upset and put me back at day 1 in terms of my anxiety. I have no idea what to do as I don't want to have a late termination. I'm worried sick, I can't sleep. This is the worst time of my life when it should be the happiest.

I suppose they have to cover themselves. If they say it's 100% fine then something was to go wrong they could be in trouble.
Once again though, please don't worry. Anxiety is a bitch and it's so hard to release yourself from these thoughts.
I am currently pregnant and I probably had quite a few drinks in those first few weeks before I took my pregnancy test. It was the same with my first child, now 15 months old. No problems whatsoever. I even had a few drinks around the 25week mark last time when we were on holiday. I haven't done that this time because it's not worth it.
Please, please be reassured. Your baby will be fine. FAS usually happens with people who have drunk a lot constantly throughout pregnancy.
I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

There are no guarantees in life.

As it stands, you are pregnant with a wanted baby, that you've been trying for a long time for, trying so much you are on fertility drugs. At your age, given the struggle to become pregnant, you might never become pregnant again.

Throwing away that chance, along with the wanted life you carry within you, because you cannot be '100%' is madness and something that you would likely regret for the rest of your life.

The chance of you harming your baby through your drinking is absolutely tiny, but the chance to you harming it by going through a termination is 100%

It might help if you try to recognise that the issue really isn't your drinking, it's your anxiety. If it wasn't drinking, it would likely be something else - forgetting your folic acid, or eating the wrong cheese.

The biggest danger to your wanted lovely pregnancy at the moment isn't your early drinking binges, but your anxiety. I'd suggest you need some urgent mental health intervention to help manage your anxiety.

I got a positive test on 28 December (a few years ago) and had spent most of December drinking. It honestly didn't occur to me to be as worried as you seem. She was born healthy and fine and is a very happy intelligent toddler.

If you wanted to terminate for other reasons, then that would be up to you but if your only concern is how much alcohol you consumed, I think that is something you would possibly really regret.

Do you live in the UK? I'm guessing not as you've spoken to a consultant already? We don't get referred to a midwife until 8 weeks and wouldn't see a consultant until later.

Please please don't terminate for this reason!! Honestly, this happens to lots of women, as people on this thread have testified.

Stop googling! You will always, always find something to back up your fears on Google. That doesn't mean it's gospel!

@kirinm I am in the UK. I've spoken to a private consultant. As soon as I got the positive pregnancy test, I went to see her and at first she was reassuring but now seems to be saying that there is a risk and keeps highlighting the amount. I keep having flashbacks and thinking about the way I drank.

I think getting help for your anxiety may ease your turmoil.

Think how much you have wanted this baby. Don't self sabotage! Keep talking and sharing on here.
The guilt is your instincts kicking in already.

You've come so far!!! Can you share these worries in real life with someone. We've all done things

Also you don't share nutrients etc for the first 6 weeks!!!!

Sending you lots of support!

She doesn't sound like someone who is very helpful to be honest.

I take very strong anti-convulsant medication. There is a far greater risk of birth defects including heart defects caused by my medication than alcohol in the very early stages and I took this medication from before conception and all the way through pregnancy - my medication was actually increased during late pregnancy. At no stage did anyone suggest I stop taking it or that I was taking a huge risk. I'm staggered by this doctors behaviour.

You’re letting your anxiety run away with you op. The alcohol won’t have harmed the baby.

I was under the impression that until 7-8 weeks at least the only thing feeding the baby is the yolk sack and the placenta doesn't take over completely until after that? So none of the alcohol would have got into your baby. You've had a lot of people explain their similar situations and positive outcomes, OP, try to focus on that and the likelihood that your baby is absolutely fine ❤️

Thank you for your support. I keep wavering between thinking everything will be ok and then panicking and thinking the worst.

Please don’t terminate for this reason. I spent a full week getting incredibly (and I mean incredibly!) drunk every night in Tenerife before finding out I was pregnant 5 days after getting home. My daughter is absolutely fine, no problems with the pregnancy and she is a perfectly happy, healthy almost 13 year old. You won’t have done any damage so early on. Try not to worry.