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Original poster

Trying to find a loophole - any sonographers on MN?

118 replies

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 03/04/2020 14:34

I've got my 20 week scan next week.

My partner can't come for the obvious reasons.

If there's an opportunity to find out gender it's something that he wants to do. But he wants to do it together. He's very sentimental and he wants us both to find out at the same time.

There's no video to be taken or video calls to be had in the room and the sonogropher will not write down a gender.

So I was thinking I could ask for a crotch shot and then ask a different sonogropher to assess it and email us the gender.

Unless anyone has any other suggestions? :)

OP posts:
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Elouera · 03/04/2020 14:36

Would they be able to text you their 'thought' on the gender later in the day when you are home? Or email?

screwcovid19 · 03/04/2020 14:36

An NHS scan? No you really can't ask their staff to take an extra picture for you and email it to you with their opinion.
Is this a joke???

Bitofeverything · 03/04/2020 14:38

Are you sure the sonographer won’t write it down?

screwcovid19 · 03/04/2020 14:38

Misread your post, apologies. You want a sonographer on Mumsnet to check and email you?

WickedlyPetite · 03/04/2020 14:38

But he wants to do it together. He's very sentimental and he wants us both to find out at the same time

Well then wait until you give birth Hmm

Nixen · 03/04/2020 14:38

Are private scan places still open? Go pay for a gender scan there and they’ll be more likely to let your partner attend / help with gender reveal stuff

Bitofeverything · 03/04/2020 14:39

There’s quite a lot about what your partner wants in your post.

KipperTheFrog · 03/04/2020 14:39

If he’s that set on finding out the sex together, wait until the birth.
Or you find out at the scan and then tell him.

London91 · 03/04/2020 14:39

Some private places are still doing scans. Could you pay for a scan? They told me the gender at 16+2.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 03/04/2020 14:39

Why won't she write it down? At my 20 week scan (3 weeks ago) she offered to write it down in case we were planning on a gender reveal type thing.

MrsJoshNavidi · 03/04/2020 14:39

Don't you think the NHS have enough to do at the moment without helping you keep DH up to date on the sex of your unborn child.
Best thing IMO is for neither of you to know, if you don't want to know without DH being there.

LockdownLucy · 03/04/2020 14:40

Sonographer can write it on folded paper!

Darkstar4855 · 03/04/2020 14:42

I think your partner has to either wait and you find out together at birth or you find out at the scan and tell him later, sorry. The health service is under huge amounts of pressure at the moment. The sonographers won’t have time to be printing “crotch shots” and e-mailing you thebsex.

MrsJoshNavidi · 03/04/2020 14:42

why won't she write it down?

In case she's wrong, and the OP goes and buys a load of pink stuff and then sues the hospital when she has a boy.

Beansandcoffee · 03/04/2020 14:43

Tell you what why don’t you wait until the baby is born then you can both share the surprise.

LH1987 · 03/04/2020 14:44

On my scans, it says the gender on the report that goes in my maternity notes because I wanted to know the gender. Could you ask sonographer to include it on the notes but just not tell you in the appointment :)

Mulanlin · 03/04/2020 14:46

There’s quite a lot about what your partner wants in your post
Because it’s his baby too and he and the OP presumably are in a loving relationship and she cares about his feelings? Because he’s sad about missing the baby scan?

iano · 03/04/2020 14:48

It said it on the report at my scan. Ask them to put it in the report and put it in an envelope.
Or wait until baby arrives.

Sittinonthefloor · 03/04/2020 14:48

A) What do you want?
B) your partner needs to grow up.

Sittinonthefloor · 03/04/2020 14:52

Sorry OP that was too harsh. But he should be prioritising supporting you, and understanding that you are the one having to go in your own and not making it all about him & that he’s missing out n some kind of special trip - it’s a medical appointment. Hope all goes well.

MrsG010814 · 03/04/2020 14:53

Your partner needs to grow up. Given the current situation you either need to find out and tell him or just wait until the birth. Some areas don't actually offer to tell you the sex at the scan as it isn't the purpose of it.

Joans3rddaughter · 03/04/2020 14:55

Find a Radiographer/Sonographer to do that? Absolutely no chance.

bengalcat · 03/04/2020 14:56

In our trust sonographers write the sex on the report for those couples that wish to know . If yours does this why not tell her your dilemma prior to your scan and ask her to file your report without showing it to you or saying then when you get home / back with your husband read it together .

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 03/04/2020 14:56

Do you know they definitely won’t write it down? That used to be the rule but in the current situation of no partners allowed I have seen several posts where it has been written down for you to find out together. The nhs sonographers are writing ‘probably a...’ as they aren’t allowed to fully commit in writing?

Elephantonascooter · 03/04/2020 15:01

Of course they will write it down