Anyone else due August 2020?

[Jem9153]

How are you feeling if so? How far along are you?

I’m due 12th August, 21 weeks 1 day today, first baby and I’m having a boy!

I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed with this whole pandemic and the unknown of whether it’s going to be better by then! Fingers crossed for the best.

I also really want to start buying things but feel bad for shopping online given the current scenario, I just don’t want to leave it all til last minute and be really unprepared.

Would love to hear from you all

@stephd2020 what are his reservations? Maybe you could work through those to convince him. Show him positive home birth stories online or something?

Morning, I know a few were struggling to find little sizes but next and Jojo both have stock on options at the moment. Neither are great for neutral but still some options.

Pressed post too soon, @StephD2020 as @JMill13 says show your husband the positive birth, we did Hypnobirthing with my first and DH was more in for home birth than I was by the end. To start with he did say he wanted the professionals around but by the end I’m sure he would have decamped to a field just us!

The online baby show looks good today, loads of useful talks and good discounts.
I got the ocarro set at a baby show in Feb and looks like they have similar offers on.

@jmill13 yes I think his reservations are all about what could go wrong and how quickly they can be fixed. I've asked him to do some research so we can talk about it on a level playing field as otherwise I just end up being teacher!

@Bert2020 my antenatal classes are doing hypnobirthing for free at the moment (bump and baby) so defo going to have a go at it. Normally not my thing but I am open minded so seeing as it's free and I've got time on my hands I may as well! Did you use hypnobirthing? Did you have a home birth too?

@2020Aug yea the online baby show does look good! I thought the talks were quite useful too! Defo worth doing if you haven't done one already x

@StephD2020 we did a private Hypnobirthing course which was great, helped alleviate any anxiety. Unfortunately at my 40 week check things went pear shaped and dd was born 9 days later in theatre with a spinal block I would definitely recommend it though but as you say keep an open mind. Things can change but hopefully with as much preparation as you can the outcome will still be positive.

Morning all, hope you're all ok today!🌷

Sorry if we covered this before, but does anyone have recommendations for decent bras? My boobs seem to be spilling all over the place at the moment and it's very depressing 😢

Just to let everyone know they're doing a live baby show this weekend on Facebook page. They've got pretty much every brand on there with discount codes so make sure you check before buying anything as could probably save a few ££'s xx

Bloody typical I ordered the Tommee Tippee starter pack last night and now I found a 15% off discount code for it lol

@2020aug sorry just saw you had already mentioned it! Xx

Oh man I forgot about the baby show 🙈🙈

I'm enjoying reading the positive birth company Hypnobirthing book at the minute. Might pay for their course too. Always just assumed it was a bit wishy washy for me but the more I was seeing about it online the more I liked the idea of it. It seems to have helped a lot of women transform their birthing experiences a bit to be more relaxed and in the moment.

@stephD2020 are you far from the hospital in case anything did change? My cousin accidently gave birth last year in her mums bathroom, just sort of happened and all was fine and they took them straight to hospital in an ambulance after. Women have been home birthing for years though so if it feels right and more comfortable I'd go for it.

That's the reason I picked the hospital I originally did because its midwifery lead and doesn't have that actual hospital feel about it, no doctors or machines etc. (I'm a bit scared of hospitals) but it's only across the street so a very short 2 minute drive across the road to the main proper hospital if anything was to go wrong. Whereas where I live is a good half hour drive without traffic away from any hospital.

@JMill13 yea the proximity to a hospital is key for sure! So I am 0.6 miles from my local ambulance depo and hospital. This hospital is where I have all my antenatal appts and blood tests/scans. Sadly they don't actually do deliveries there, the local hospital for labour ward is 6 miles away, which is around 15 mins. So definitely a consideration. They do have a midwife led delivery unit so that is most definitely an option. Gonna see what the midwife is like on Monday and what restrictions have been lifted. X

@Beau2020 thanks for the reminder about the baby show just ordered the bottle warmer we wanted with the discount!

@cannotmakemymindup no worries, I also got that last night!

@jmill13 I just ordered the positive birth company hypnobirthing digital course too, very excited to start hypnobirthing. I'm actually a qualified dream therapist so I'd love to be able to one day link hypnobirthing with dream therapy

@stephd2020 that's not too bad, distance wise. The only thing near me is a GP surgery so I get all of my community midwife appointments there for pee checks, blood pressure and baby's heartbeat but scans and all those other big appointments I have to travel into Belfast to the hospital.

@beau2020 ooh now I'm curious about Dream therapy, what does that entail? Let me know what the Hypnobirthing pack is like, I'm hoping to get it after I finish the book if I still need to.

This baby show, is melting my brain the links to everything I want don't seem to be working.

@JMill13 I had that issue aswell, seems like they're having some technical difficulties 🙈

So with dream therapy I help / guide the dreamer to understand a deeper meaning to their dreams to often help solve waking life problems, worries or deep routed issues buried in the subconscious through dream interpretation xx

Well just had a call from one of the community midwives in advance of my appt on Monday. Still going ahead but probably won't be her as she is on call tomorrow night. Had to ask all questions over the phone as on Monday they want me in and out as quick as poss (which I wasn't quite prepared for!). So literally just going to be a quick test of urine, BP, routine bloods and listen to baby. This feels like the shittest process ever and I don't know if this is just antenatal appts generally or if this is all just down to Covid? Feeling rather shit and unsupported today about it all, not gonna lie.

And to top it off, my trust are not likely to reinstate home births before the end of August so I would have to go down the IM route if I want one. But DH doesn't want one and turns out it's nothing to do with risks he's worried about money as we are moving. I expect his position would be a little different if he were the one having the baby..... 🙄

Ok. Moan over. Sorry ladies, just had to vent to someone that isn't DH! X

@StephD2020 no that's not a normal appointment at all. I actually can't believe in the difference in care we are all receiving.
The midwife I have seen at 16 weeks and 25 weeks has still asked questions in person.

However she's not once asked about my mental health and is a bit dismissive of my anaemia. Reminds me to eat red meat and green leafy vegetables which I know but is not going to massively increase my iron levels as I am a Sickle Cell carrier so just don't process iron very well overall. Plus admits she hasn't read my notes.

If it wasn't for Covid-19 I would be asking to switch to another midwife (however the one of seen isn't even my named one) as she is do dismissive and condescending in her appointments.

@stephd2020 that's such a shame and I feel the exact same! I had my 28 week GTT last week and I have my midwife appt next week. They were very dismissive, I was rushed in and out very quickly and I was made to feel a bit uncomfortable when I asked questions about the 6 tubes of blood they took from me. As a first time mom I just feel really confused about all the different tests and things to do, it can be very overwhelming. ☹️ it's such a shame isn't it but I understand everyone is feeling really under pressure.

Ah @StephD2020 sorry about your home birth likely/possibly not happening. We are still 3 months away, I hope things change before then. If it’s any consolation, can you go for a birth centre? There are some truly amazing ones and with lights dimmed, candles etc you can make them really quite a nice environment.
Care is so hit & miss, I never saw the same midwife twice in my first pregnancy and have seen one twice this but that’s because of the GD putting me into a focused team. In an ideal world I think everyone should get to see the same midwife or just a few so they are more likely to pick up any issues and you get to build a rapport rather than a new face each time.

@cannotmakemymindup that sounds rubbish - if any of mine were condescending or dismissive I think I would walk out! And having a very important underlying health issue like that is something they should be all over, surely?

@Beau2020 yup I'm the same as you! Totally overwhelming at times and the level of care is just not what I would expect at all. And to be honest I'm not one to make a fuss (I never get sick and don't go to the docs for anything) but I feel like I CANT right now and that's what is most stressful. I even wanted to ask my midwife something last week and thought 'there's no point in calling, just wait it out and ask on Monday, they probably won't reply anyway.'

@Bert2020 yup I can go for a birth centre and the one I'm closest to is a really good one. What is putting me off that is the current situation as DH still won't be able to come in until active labour and also he'll be asked to leave an hour after I've given birth. You are right though, a lot could change between now and then!

Having had a cheeky little afternoon sleep on it (😊) I think I am dead set now on the independent midwife route. I know DH is against spending money as we try and move but I'm self employed so gonna get my shit together this week and find some work that will cover the cost! Have already picked up a third of it unexpectedly yesterday so just need a few more days work to come in and then I think he will feel more comfortable about the whole thing.

I also went on the baby show and listened to a woman called Milli Hill who is the one who authors the positive birth book (I think some of you on here were recommending her to me) and she was lovely so have ordered her book too. Not just gonna moan about this situation. I am a resourceful, successful woman who just happens to be pregnant and I need to remember to approach this like I do everything else!

Thanks for letting me rant ladies - much appreciated! 🥰

I'm so shocked and surprised and the different levels of care depending on trust area. From talking to friends who had babies pre-covid... in NI the only thing that seems to have changed is what hospitals we're as a couple have been made covid only....but everyone is still getting the same appointments and times in the appointments. Obviously partners aren't allowed or anything but I find it crazy. The midwife I seen on Wednesday although new to me, was asking all questions, even had time for a random conversation about nothing really. Was in and out in 20 minutes but it felt like plenty of time and not rushed, she went through my notes and told me when I'd next have to come back.

Anyone have much luck with the baby show today? I see they have a 5 piece mamas and papas occaro set up and I want it really badly but I'm u sure if the 5 pieces is enough or do I need other things too? Also can't work out what the differences are in each ocarro set, anyone any clue?

@stephD2020 rant/vent away that's what we're here for. It's mad that you're not getting treated the way you should at all. Hopefully your appointment Monday goes better than you think

Sorry to hear you can't have your home birth @StephD2020 - everything I have read on my local hospital website says about DH leaving after an hour, when I went to triage the other day they told me if he bought his own bed & food then he could stay, not getting hopes up but thought I'd share in case it's worth checking with someone at your unit (maybe you already have).

I have good days and not so good days with being overwhelmed- it definitely is a different experience due to covid. The shopping online is driving me slightly potty! I know she is very controversial but I bought the Gina Ford contented baby book (as well as positive birth and French children don't throw food) and there is a good section on pre birth covering what to buy and why, what to get ready, setting up nursery etc - I am finding it quite good and concise which I like! Again, just thought I'd share in case it's useful to others.

@Jmill13 That appointment sounds fab!

A bit like @StephD2020 I am used to getting stuff done, so I am making sure I push for the tests I know I need to have etc,. Writing notes before appointments to make sure things get covered even if the midwife doesn't pay attention, I know I tried. This can I add is the midwife who didn't want the second blood test I had requested from a doctor, as she didn't think I would need it "I'm not really that aneamic". Then obviously results came back and doctor plus consultant are concerned by it and want to have an additional two blood tests at least to determine if I have improved after iron supplements. Otherwise other courses of medication will be needed. So when she's reminding me to eat green vegetables just proper gets my back up, as it's like she didn't even believe I was anaemic to require any treatment.

I know that at least the consultants team is proactive and wants to be thorough so at least on that side I'll be taken seriously and the care will be good.

And I wish I could walk out from the midwife but when you're in that position it is that feeling of vulnerability I find that holds me back.

Anyway thanks for letting me rant ladies!!

@WorriedButterfly I too have bought and read the Gina ford book and I know it's controversial but a couple of my work colleagues swore by it so I thought I'd have a little read of it. Do you think you're going to give it a go? I found some info really helpful as a FTM who hasn't had any antenatal classes so didn't have a clue about when to feed or how much 😅 (I never knew you had two types of milk in the same breast!) and I do like the sound of trying to do 3hour feeds and having a bit of structure to our day rather than demand feeding, but I won't stick to it religiously as it seems hard to leave the house 👀 not that any of us are going anywhere yet however... haha

@JMill13 we have the ocarro 8 piece bundle, but only because it worked out cheaper than the 5 piece plus the car seat that we wanted to be able to fix onto the pushchair. We weren't fussed about the isofix or the umbrella or changing bag but they effectively were free due to the price if you added up the bits we wanted together. In mamas and papas store, the '5' was a bit misleading in 5 piece because a drinks cup holder and the clips for the bassinet count as 2 pieces if I remember rightly? So it was essentially the frame and pushchair, carry cot, clips for this and drink holder. I have seen online the 5 piece with a car seat though so if that's the one on the baby show I'd say go for it!