The Graduates of TTC after loss thread #7 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle

[TwittleBee]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss.

We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth/neonatal death.

Plenty of births on the last thread, congratulations to you all!

Let's start a fresh roll call below? I'll collate as we go.

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Laney79 @yukka @ChikiTIKI @Rubyroost I really appreciate the advice! BF feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done, far more difficult than the birth itself.

I need to set up a FB account still, so apologies for posting this here, but just struggling a bit and now Coronavirus has shut down my GP and only limited access to MW.

Does anyone have any tips for increasing milk flow when pumping? I’m only getting 2 fl oz max per session and baby drinks this in 15 mins! I can’t pump enough for dh to feed him while I sleep and therefore not sleeping at all because he feeds every 45 mins or so. I’m exhausted! I also can’t use right breast atm again because he has a poor latch on that side and just tore half the skin off my areola. Help! 🥺

@Mistymeow I didn't bother. My contractions were giving me pain and I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. Babies sugar levels were fine and I just hand expressed after c section until he latched. He took about 15 hours to latch. But my other took 48 hours so he was better.
@sadtoday21 no decent advice I'm sorry. Warm flannel on boob to stimulate milk? Apparently what you pump does not necessarily link to milk supply. Some ladies are able to pump a lot, others can't. They do say being in the same room as your baby and looking at baby stimulates hormones. Also try doing it late at night. I know this probably defeats the purpose of sleep. As far as sore nipples are concerned I purchased some nipple shields (mendela) which I use when I can't handle any more pain. I also used them tonight when baby was fussing at breast but too tired to feed. My friend recommended them, said without them she would have ended up giving up b feeding.

@Mistymeow they only made me test every four hours.

@sadtoday21 I don't have a lot of experience with pumping because my DD couldn't drink from a bottle until she was 10 months old, although we did try. But to build supply instead of feeding her on both sides during a feed I would do both sides then back to the first side. After a couple of days doing that there was much more milk. I could definitely feel my body was building the supply too because it made me all sweaty at night like when my milk first came in xxxx

@Mistymeow how are you? Xx

Hello, just wondering how everyone is getting along? I hope everyone is doing well.

I've just reached 32 weeks yesterday and am off for a growth scan and appt with consultant today. Hoping that all is well and that I'm not harbouring a gigantic baby (DH was rather large at birth 😀).

Am feeling slightly anxious about covid 19 and the predicted peak being due at the same time as my bump as home birth is not an option for me and I have a number of hospital appts before then.

For those of you who have had your babies or who are ahead of me date wise, what was the advice if baby was not in the correct position at 32 weeks? Mine had been head down but last time was transverse using me as a hammock. At what point do they make a decision about birth options?

I've also decided (having seen the shelves in our local supermarkets) to go down the reusable nappy route - does anyone have any experience? I've bought mine second hand after using the nappy lady app - not sure whether this is is right way to go- the couple I've got look like baby will have a huge bottom once it's on!

Hey @Kayjay2018 good luck with the appointment today. My baby was head down at 28 weeks and then went to breech at 32 weeks. At 35 weeks he was then head down and now 36 weeks he feels engaged. I don’t think they’ll discuss alternative birth options until 36 weeks. Most babies turn before then. Even after they can get into position.

We booked a c section for 39 weeks plus 5 (soonest appointment they could get) as I’m carrying a very big baby 99.8 centile and I’m over 40. Also have arthritis in the hips so worry the physical side of labour will be a bit more gruelling. This was our choice as the consultant recommended an induction at 38/39 weeks. So even if your baby is big they might recommend an early induction.

I’m actually now wondering if we should book the induction for 38 weeks as I’m worried the section might get cancelled due to corona staffing issues. I really don’t like the idea of going overdue.

How are you feeling about the birth? Do you have preferences? x

@Catconfusion wow your little one was doing cartwheels 😀. To be honest I'm just worried about being in hospital full stop. Baby needs an ecg when born so no option of home birth. Ideally I'd like to be in, avoid an epidural if possible and out as soon as I can. I did have an epidural with my son, it was great but did mean a stay in hospital. I've been told we can use the birth centre )on same floor and next door to the delivery suite) so at least that's something.

It might be worth having a chat with your midwife about bringing the dates forward, I expect they will be looking to relieve pressure on themselves wherever possible!

@Kayjay2018 yes we were amazed how quickly he turned. I wasn’t really aware of it so must have happened over night.

Yes it’s such a worry just going there. I have physio this afternoon so we’ll be taking the stairs and getting there as close to the appointment time as we can.

It sounds like you have a good plan and I’m sure since you shouldn’t need much intervention they’ll be able to accommodate you. We’re hoping to be honest I just go into labour naturally in which case I’ll be doing all I can to avoid the epidural. It seems much more likely with an induction to need pain relief. It’s our first baby so we’re optimistic about it being a simple process but mindful it may be drawn out and need interventions. x

36 weeks will he when they discuss birth options.
Coronavirus is bloody scary. I'm sick of midwife and health visitors coming round. I'm going to tell hv not to bother at 6 weeks. I've got to go to hospital to sort tongue tie tomorrow. 😬
@Catconfusion of course there's a possibility your baby won't be that big!!
@Kayjay2018 I bought all the nappy stuff last time around, but ended up selling it on ebay. All the nappy changes when they're tiny and the tiredness I decided I could not keep up with it and then it does add bulk so you'll need bigger sized clothes. Good luck, hope you do better than my crap attempt!

Coronavirus is also bothering me, I had to ask the midwife to wash her hands on Thursday which is utterly batshit considering they are out in the community. I cancelled baby's newborn hearing test which should have been at the hospital today because I just don't consider it sensible to take a baby into a hospital when we live such a remote, holistic lifestyle on the farm!

I'm meant to have my 9 day check today and the midwife called to say she would come between 12 and 4 which has really really annoyed me. At this point I'm about to tell everyone to just leave us alone. 😂

@Rubyroost obviously a chance he won’t be so big but likely on the bigger side. We’re so tempted to go for induction at 38 weeks as was originally offered. Him potentially not being as big is another reason this might not be such a bad option. Just worried about what the hospital will be like if we wait for the section at 39 plus 5 or if it’s cancelled!

It must be difficult at the moment with all the visitors you’re having. I can’t believe a midwife wouldn’t wash their hands. How many more visits will you have until you’re left alone for a bit. x

@Catconfusion just back from hospital and I like you, avoided the lifts, didn't touch any bannisters, alcohol hand stuff every so often. It's all we can do to take care of ourselves. The midwife I saw today advised that they do have arrangements in place for any pregnant women needing to go in whilst displaying covid symptoms (which was reassuring) apparently they have special rooms set aside.
@Rubyroost eek - I have two small backs of first size disposables, maybe need to get some more just in case. I've also just ordered some vest extenders for big nappy syndrome.
@frillyfarmer I can't believe the midwife!! Aargh - think I'll be taking my own dettol wipes and hand wash in with me at this rate! Even my doggy daycare lady has set up a cleaning station at her gate for after we have handed the dogs over and our interaction with her is minimal!

So scan went well, bump is currently around 4lb 6 (that seems a bit big to me) apparently that is about 50th centipede on my growth chart. Consultant very happy, been advised to stop aspirin at 36 weeks, and she really wants me to birth on the birthing centre as more relaxed environment. Ooh and this working from home lark has health benefits - my blood pressure was the best it's been the whole pregnancy. Starting to think there may be a baby at the end of this journey

@squirrelnutkins1 I’m ok thanks! I was able to go home yesterday overnight but back in again today for monitoring, then elective c section tomorrow when I’ll be 37 weeks exactly. It’s all a bit surreal. How are you doing?
@Kayjay2018 yes my baby is transverse since 36+4 weeks and I’ve been kept in for monitoring because of her position and I need a c section. They are being overly cautious because at 37 weeks (which I will be tomorrow) if the waters break it can be dangerous- risk of cord prolapse. I can’t deliver naturally in this position hence c section. But at your gestation baby still has plenty of time to move, I wouldn’t worry- I’ve just got a very cheeky girl who is small for dates and managed to get herself into this position! Chances are very good baby will have turned and they will do a scan to check.

The hospital are doing well to manage corona- you are only allowed one visitor/birth partner and they can’t swap (it’s a wristband system). I find this reassuring and sensible. Hope everyone else is doing ok!

@Mistymeow funny that... My consuktant was more concerned with risk of still birth because of size of baby and maternal age. He said he wasn't concerned about cord prolapse even tho baby was transverse and I had extra waters.
@Catconfusion you know the reason why I say that is because my baby was off the scale but born on 57th percentile for weight. Tho he did have a big head as predicted! Not sure about abdomen as they don't measure it at birth, but that also looked big too.
In terms of visitors, I won't be having any more. I will tell hv I don't want her around. I just need to go to midwife clinic at local children centre for an extra weigh in as baby hadn't quite put on enough weight. So I'm hoping he's put on the requires amount and I don't need any more visits. We also have a trip tomorrow to a children's hospital to get baby's tongue tie done. 😳

@Mistymeow thankfully baby has moved head down I discovered today (explains the pain in my ribs - big feet!!) the bony bit I'm feeling to my left hand side is definitely a bottom. I really hope all goes well tomorrow - how exciting!!!

@Rubyroost maybe I have hope mine won't be a 9 pounder given the sizing discrepancy and instead just has long legs like its mum and a podgy tummy (like DH 😝). As for tongue tie - my sons was done at 5 months old - he was away from me for seconds - they just made sure I had a bottle (couldn't breastfeed) ready for when he came back in. I honestly don't think he knew anything had happened.

@Kayjay2018 good news about head down. 👍Aha yes, my toddler had his done at 6 days. I think the younger they are the better. Funny how both of them have it, but I don't nor does my partner. It's more the going into hospital and getting coronavirus that bothers me.

@Rubyroost I was always told it was hereditary (on my sons dads side) but NCT lady said it's becoming more common and there is now a theory that it's linked to the folic acid we are taking.

Well I'm now officially in an isolating household. DH has a cough that developed Friday, so me DH and teenage DS (and dogs) are now indoors till a week Friday.

In a way I'm so glad my scan etc was today, I know things are ok with baby at the moment - will have to shift my fetal heart scan next Monday though, will call them tomorrow and hope they have space to fit me in later

@Kayjay2018 I wonder if it's just more diagnosed rather than more common. I asked midwives and paed if he had tongue tie, all said no. I had a look once home and thought I saw one and then asked breastfeeding lady who confirmed he had one. I think so many people know about them now that they press for a diagnosis.

Hope you're all alright, although I can't see the point in isolating fir a week when you can still pass it on 14 days after you've recovered!

Hi everyone :) how is everyone feeling about the recommendation that we self isolate for 12 weeks?

I'm 34 weeks tomorrow so only 6 weeks to go, but still feel like it would be hard to fully self isolate for that time. DH has to continue working and to truly self isolate I'm meant to stay 3 steps away from him and sleep in a different room, which just feels depressing 🙁

@Dimblebimble I'm still in that category due to asthma, it's not something I'm looking forward to especially with 2 small children but I'm trying to be more positive today. My usual routine involves going out to a group of some sort all of which are cancelled so I wouldn't really have anywhere to go anyway. Going to try and keep some structure to our day as I think that will help massively.

I thought it was social distancing rather than isolation? I'm crapping it to be honest, feels like unchartered territories. Feels so weird

It is social distancing @Rubyroost but still amounts to being in most of the time.

@Rubyroost it's poor that medical professionals are still not picking it up isn't it? No one spotted my DS tongue tie - it was me, then all I kept getting was that in 99% of cases it didn't cause feeding issues. Well I was obviously the 1%!

@Dimblebimble @Bluebelltulip today is the first day of our household isolation, going to be interesting to see how our broadband holds up with 2 adults working from home and a teenager doing online revision. Luckily we have food in for us and the dog and all my baby stuff has been ordered. Parents have been advised to stay away, and an online shop for MIL ordered so she can stay home too.

Interesting times for us to bring our babies into the world. All my remaining NCT classes have been cancelled and they will try and do them online apparently.

Hey everyone also thinking of you all given the news.❤️

As you know from my previous posts, I’ve been deeply worried about Coronavirus since January- it literally kept me up at night the last month of my pregnancy. I started social distancing back then and since birth have gone into full self-isolation for me, DH, and baby. We haven’t left the house once in past two weeks and only had MW come twice (I changed HV to phone call). The MW is coming to our house today to discharge us (against my wishes) but will make it fast and ask her to wear gloves. Luckily bf is now established and doesn’t hurt anymore, so Rumi and I have a rhythm now and I’m happy with his feeding. It was really hard at first but now we seem to have the hang of it thankfully!

@Rubyroost and @frillyfarmer are you self-isolating too? I’m quite worried it will impact Rumi’s ability to get his vaccines at 8 weeks. How are you doing otherwise? Are you settled into a good newborn routine now?

Thanks @ChikiTIKI for the excellent advice on feeding - I’ve tried your method and it really works! How are you doing with all this Coronavirus madness?

@Rubyroost thanks also for the nipple shield advice - I’ve mentally filed this away in case the pain gets worse again. For now I’ve found changing the angle of my latch has helped a lot, sound weird but I get him to latch lying down and then I shift him into my arms and that seems to work. Also I have more milk now so he’s not sucking as hard as before. Did you say you have to go to hospital for tongue tie? Hope you can get it resolved quickly!

Rumi will be two weeks tomorrow. He seems to be feeding well and sleep is an issue, but I love him so much I barely feel the exhaustion of it all. It only hits me now and then. Bleeding stopped a few days ago and was able to be intimate again with DH, which was really nice despite having to constantly keep an ear out for crying baby! 😂 My body feels almost back to its pre-pregnant state and tummy has gone back down now (I read online it takes six weeks for tummy to be back to normal, but I think bf is helping it contract much more quickly)! I can’t help but think the natural birth is contributing to this quicker recovery - it feels so much better than after the surgery I had before. My hormones are a lot more balanced than they were then.

I hope you all have your babies soon! 🥰