The Graduates of TTC after loss thread #7 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle

[TwittleBee]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss.

We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth/neonatal death.

Plenty of births on the last thread, congratulations to you all!

Let's start a fresh roll call below? I'll collate as we go.

Congratulations @fnej01 and @frillyfarmer well done!!! 💕

Apologies for not keeping up with the thread fully - newborns are tough! Rumi is 7 days old today. Having a newborn is definitely challenging, but wonderful. I’ve slept about 2 hours per day only since he arrived and we are constantly feeding at home, haven’t left yet. I had some problems with bleeding cracked nipples on my right breast due to poor latch and was in a lot of pain for the first few days. Rumi and I both cried a lot - he’s always so hungry and feeding him felt like cutting glass on my nipples and I dreaded it. Luckily we are doing better now and he hasn’t lost too much weight. I got a nursing pillow and learned some different positions that were easier for latching when he was screaming. It’s a bit of a learning curve for us both and harder than I thought. At one point I definitely felt like a complete failure and thought how can I get a PhD but I can’t even feed my own baby? Cue loads of self doubt. When my milk came in I was really emotional too and felt like I loathed DH for a short time. It all passed quickly though and it’s slowly getting easier, although Rumi still only sleeps in my arms all night. I was keeping up with work emails from the hospital at first but now I don’t care about anything except feeding and taking care of Rumi. It’s a full time job for sure, even with dh at home to help. Any advice from others on feeding etc would be most welcome!

@Beaglemum93 I want to join the fb group but I’m not on fb. Are you ladies chatting on MN as well? I had a question on cluster feeding (or as I like to call it cluster f*%^!!). Rumi is feeding almost every hour today and I want to know how I can get him to stay awake after one breast to offer him the other right after so he can get fuller and go longer between feeds. Any thoughts?

Hi @sadtoday21. Feeding is bloody hard work! When I had my DD I felt really annoyed that no one had told me how relentless it is in the early days. Regarding cluster feeding is less about feeding to be full and more about the baby trying to up your supply. They will often cluster feed during growth or developmental spurts to help you produce more milk to meet their changing needs. That said, baby stomaches are also tiny and at this age it is usual for them to feed constantly! I found by three months that DD was able to go longer between feeds and now with DS, who is ten weeks, it is also stretching out. Although we still have super fussy evenings where he is surgically attached to me!! You sound like you're doing brilliantly xxx

@sadtoday21 the feeding is tough when it's like that. I feel for you.

Only thing o cs suggest to help keep rumi awake between boobs is a bum change.,.that always wakes my little man up a bit x

@sadtoday21 if you haven't already got some then get dh to get you Lansinoh cream and apply it after every feed, will prevent any further cracking/pain and is fine for baby. I also found their Breast pads the best too.

Agree with the others, Rumi will be getting supply sorted and it will calm down but can take a couple of weeks. I remember by 4 weeks we were sorted on feeding every 4 hours. His little tummy is growing by the day too to consume more and more. I also opted for changing the nappy to keep awake, my friend would literally lift and bounce baby and feed again- aiming for 30 min feeds. I found that hard when they are so tiny.

Stick with it, and yes scrap the emails!! Focus on both of you. Have you considered expressing? This can also help supply and if you're happy with it then dh can do a feed and you can get some sleep xxx

No one tells you how hard it is. Both my nipples are currently falling apart and I'm totally engorged and tits are rock hard. Scared of getting mastititis. Pumped 8 oz yesterday and 6 this morning and it's still giving me little relief! Also worried that this is just going to increase supply even more. There are certain days when they do more cluster feeding, but I found after 6 weeks things got gradually better. Kellymom is a good site if you haven't already seen it.

There's deffo more dialogue over in the Facebook page. I don't do Facebook but created one last time I had a baby to access groups such as breastfeeding support and weaning etc. It won't take you long to create a Facebook

And as far as the cluster feeding goes. I just went with it with my first. I know its hard and I remember it well. I don't think there's a way of getting them to feed more. They get full and digest the milk quickly and then ready for more again!
If you want to try and wake them for a feed you can try changing nappy, doing skin to skin etc.

@sadtoday21 my DD fed all the time, even once established it was about 8 hours a day of feeding. She would pass out at night after a feed which took 2 hours for her to take. We discovered at 8 months she has a severe lip tie and probably and undiagnosed tongue tie too, so feeding was very slow. I heard putting a hot water bottle in their moses basket can help with "the transfer" when you need to put them down (obviously remove the hot water bottle once it's warmed the bed, and then put the baby on the warm spot). I never tried that though as it wasn't long before the constant feeding phased in to the 2 hour feeds followed by her passing out.

Wow, been a while since I posted here! Been so busy with uni and life in general. In case some of you don’t know who I am, I’m a graduate of the TTC after loss thread many moons ago

Backstory: I suffered a MMC at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy back in April 2018. I didn’t discover this until I went for my 12 week scan, expecting all to be well. Needless to say it was devastating. I chose to go the surgical route.

Much quicker than expected, I got a BFP in June 2018, about 9 weeks after my MMC. I was overjoyed but also terrified, and had almost convinced myself this pregnancy was also going to end in tragedy. How did it go?

Well, my rainbow baby is turning one this Saturday

Oh my goodness @cobaltrose96 she is adorable!!!!! 😍 Hope you enjoy the birthday celebrations. Lovely to hear a positive story and see such cuteness!! Xxxx

@CobaltRose96 she is so lovely! I recognise your name- really pleased it’s all gone well :)

A bit of drama here. I’m 36+2 and had my growth scan which showed baby is little and no longer growing on her line. The sonographer said “well you’re seeing the diabetic team on Tuesday anyway but you can get checked out at triage if you’re worried.” I said yes I am worried! I saw the consultant- they were really lovely and said as I’m so close to term and because of the diabetes they think it’s best I’m induced tonight, as baby will do better outside the womb. I’m still in shock and am a bit frightened but got DH here. I didn’t want her to be pre term but the alternative was to be monitored every day until 37 weeks and that would make me sick with worry whilst not in hospital. Hope everyone else is doing ok x

Good luck @Mistymeow, I imagine it's a bit of shock but I hope the induction goes smoothly.

@Mistymeow oh wow! Keep us posted! Xx

Good luck @Mistymeow I assume they'll be giving you some steroids before. Its very near term so I hope your baby will be fine. I know its scary when they suddenly tell you you're having baby early and you got a lot less notice than me. Sending good thoughts your way x

Gosh hope all is well @Mistymeow xx

Thanks everyone. Cheeky girl has decided to get herself breech so they are going to try and turn her this morning and if they can’t I will have an elective c section, for which I will have the steroids for. Will keep you updated.

@TwittleBee thinking of you, assume you are in hospital?

@Mistymeow what a little bugger. Ahhh I see steroids more for c section, that makes sense.

Congrats @frillyfarmer @InDreamland and anyone else I’ve missed.

Wanted also to say good luck @Mistymeow I hope she turns and you’re not too long in the hospital xx

Hope you're doing alright @Catconfusion any more upcoming scans?

Hey @Rubyroost how are you and baby doing?

I’m doing ok thanks.Very uncomfortable so hoping I go into labour naturally. C section booked for 9th April if I don’t when I’ll be 39 plus 5. They couldn’t get me in any earlier. Just hoping corona virus doesn’t affect this. I had a scan last week and baby is estimated 7 lbs 11 at 35 weeks. Poly is still mild at 8.5 cm so not a worry. Another scan is organised for 37 plus 5. I’m wondering if I’ll be begging for an induction by then. Can’t imagine how uncomfortable I’ll be. x

@catconfusion sounds like a decent weight but I understand the worry for the next few weeks. Sorry you’re so uncomfortable- have you finished work now? Thanks for your concern.
@Rubyroost hope you’re little boy is settling in well. The steroids hurt the botty don’t they!

Baby is now transverse breech so they won’t move her and recommend a c section which I’ve agreed to. They are happy for it to be on the Tuesday when I’ll be 37 weeks as there is no sign of the placenta deteriorating and water levels are good. They think she is little because of the diabetes. I’ve had the first lot of steroids and will have the second lot tonight- will have my blood sugar monitored and I’m hoping I can go home tomorrow. As she’s little she’s got too much room to move so she’s been practicing all her disco moves- just hope she isn’t too little when she arrives. I just want her in my arms now x

Arh @Mistymeow such a shame she’s moving around so much but good news everything is stable and they’re happy to leave her in until Tuesday. I hope the weekend goes quickly for you and you can hold her very soon! Could you change to induction if you prefer if she goes head down. Mine was breech/traverse for weeks and then suddenly got into position seemingly overnight.

I’ve not been working for a while so thankfully at home and can rest up. Yes he’s looking big but I’m taking that with a pinch of salt after @Rubyroost found baby to be smaller than expected. I guess he will probably be in until I’m nearly term if I don’t go into labour before so I have a feeling he’ll be around the 10 lb mark. The bump is very uncomfortable so hoping the next few weeks go quickly! x

Yep @catconfusion and I had lots and lots of growth scans that all confirmed he was massive!
7 lb 8 at 35 weeks and had shrunk to 6lb 15 by 37 weeks and 2 days. 57th percentile in the end. Be interesting to know what the actual weight will be in the end @Catconfusion.

@Mistymeow the steroids didn't affect my blood sugars hardly. If you go over 8. 5 then they stick you on an insulin drip. I was free to go home on the Sunday, but I didn't as by then I was having contractions lasting quite a while and coming on every 5 mins. I was worried that I'd end up driving to hosoital in the middle of the night panicking and have an emergency c section so decided to stay in hospital rather than go home! Seems the consuktant made the right decision even though baby wasn't big. I think the extra fluid made me go into 'labour' but it would have never happened as baby was transverse.

But yeah they're a bit ouchy, can't say I looked forward to the steroid shots

@catconfusion I think I would ask for induction if she turned on medical advice, but I am worried about the restricted growth and her becoming distressed during the labour. I hope your baby isn’t going to be as big as anticipated. Not long now!

@Rubyroost ah yes I wondered what the limit was. First steroid hasn’t spiked any numbers so far luckily. I’m not looking forward to testing overnight every two hours but I suppose I better get used to it! Did you do any colostrum harvesting?