Things people dont tell you about pregnancy....

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Just for fun!

My ribcage has gotten wider
My hips have gotten wider
I can only get good deep breaths if im sat straight up or standing

URGH

Rib Cage will expand
Hips expand
Leg cramps are awful
Food you previously loved tastes shit
Coffee becomes unbearable
You will pee 69999 times a night
Pregnancy glow is mostly make up
Lots of people dont enjoy it
Feet grow and swell then shoes dont fit (I went home in slippers)
Tea and Toast will seem amazing

When you get quite big your vagina starts to get random sharp pains and it can be quite awkward when you're standing in a shop and it happens and you feel like everyone knows😂

Hair on the belly.
How bad the tiredness in 1st trimester would be.
Weird, hyper realistic dreams.

Oh, and I snore now! I've never snored in my entire life. Please tell me the snoring will go away after baby comes!!

I came on to say vulval varicosities. Others have mentioned it more acceptably as swollen labia, but it is actually varicose veins in the vulva. Wonderful.

Vulval varicosities. Vulval varicosities. Vulval varicosities. It sounds so revolting as well as being pretty uncomfortable.

Nevermind not sleeping once the baby arrives, you don't sleep for months on end before the baby arrives!
No one told me my feet and calves would swell up so bad after birth I couldn't get my feet in any footwear at all and I had to do nappy changes stood up because I couldn't kneel due to pain.

All the ones I've got have already been listed except one.

The craving for carbs that would turn into full blown nausea, and if left too long actual vomiting. The vending machine at work got so much money out of me due to a NEED for salt and vinegar crisps.

The ones that were listed:
So much snot - Just... So much. Constantly blowing my nose.
Nosebleeds - Might be linked to the large amounts of snot, but it would have been nice to have some warning.
Carpal tunnel - Owwwww. It went away before the end of pregnancy. Now I have Mother's thumb in both hands. Another thing I'd never heard of before.
Leg cramps - Never had them before, but DH used to. And I hope to never have them again.

Thrush. Pregnancy thrush. Nothing could shift it, sooo itchy for the duration. went as soon as I gave birth.

Midwives were familliar with it, NOONE told me or has ever mentioned it - didn't see it so far on this thread...

And the heartburn

Nose bleeds
Losing a tooth
Smelling EVERYTHING a thousand times stronger
Pooing during labour 🙋🏼‍♀️ but not caring at the time
How adept you will become at vomiting.
The mucus 'plug' looking like runny, blood-streaked jelly (I was expecting a neat little cork-like thing to just 'pop' out.
Wind. Wind that follows you round.

Afterwards:
The absolute loss of your last scrap of dignity by the time you leave hospital,

(Also sometimes before) swollen ankles and feet that are so 'tight' it's painful to walk.

That wind again - when the midwife is parting your bum cheeks to check your stitches.

The itch of stitches when they are healing - usually when you are out in public.

The absolute pain of your milk 'coming in' - having to sleep with an extra quilt bunched up between wide open arms.

How nature ensures continuation of the species by cleverly making you forget all of the above so you have another, only ever recalling it all when somebody asks you to remember it.

Black nipples
Increased vaginal discharge
Increased sense of smell means you can smell the discharge
Weird sex dreams
Flabby bum

Blinding migraines
Carpel tunnel
Swollen vag leading to inability to empty bladder fully
Pre natal depression
Things i had heard about but didn't realise what they would mean for me
Hyperemises
Exhaustion
That there was a chance my baby wouldn't be perfect and fit to take home at the end of it all

I was quite lucky and escaped some of the common symptoms, so they're not always inevitable. Zero heartburn, slept like a baby right up until the night before my planned csection, feet didn't change size.

Did however have constipation from hell starting in week 14 and only went away 1-2 months post partum. And spectacular nosebleeds every day in the third trimester. Couldn't leave the house or drive without tissues right at hand in case one started up.

The one thing that nobody prepared me for was how you feel yourself "slowing down" more and more towards the end. It felt like the radius of things I could physically do kept shrinking and I had to adapt my errands to distances I could still walk or planning stuff around access to toilets.

It actually hit me quite hard, and I imagined this was how life with a chronic/progressive illness must feel like. I felt a deep sympathy and sadness for people who must live like that all the time. It also scared me a bit that the line between health and disability is so thin, but most healthy people take mobility and energy for granted.

Restless legs!!! Arrrrrghghhh!!!
Insomnia.
SPD
crushing ante natal depression which disappears when the baby arrives

Snore really loudly and also wake up in a pool of your own dribble. Lovely!

I'm only 9 weeks. Was working late last night, so had an Indian takeaway as a treat, I am now so so so bloated and flatulent, which is not going well with the morning sickness ha ha. I forgot how pretty much every nice food eventually gets wiped off the menu and I'm left with yoghurt, pasta and bread that doesn't make me feel sick, bloated or give me heartburn. Oh the joys! Only another 31 weeks to go...and who's counting lol?

Feet went up from size 7 to 8 and got really wide. Never went back to the original size.
Heartburn. Awful heartburn all.the.fucking.time.
Also, my ribcage got wider and never shrunk back.
Other than that, I had a really easy pregnancy.

Honestly I feel like no one told me anything about pregnancy, every thing is a shock to me!

Your nose gets bigger.
Your feet get bigger and don't go back down
Your torso gets wider and doesn't go back down
You lose or gain hair
The sickness is not just in the morning and it doesn't go away after the first trimester (for me anyway)
The after birth can be neay as painful as the child coming out
When your uterus is shrinking back down after having the baby, it can also be as painful as contractions.
Gas and air does not work, it just makes you lose control (again, for me anyway)
Constant heartburn
Everyone tells you you can eat as much as you like because you are eating for 2, what they fail to mention is, you can't fit it in and you will probably puke it back up anyway

Oh and everyone tells you to get as much sleep as possible before the baby comes, what they fail to mention with this one is you are so uncomfortable it's almost impossible to sleep

I can't shave my legs!!!!! 29 weeks and god knows how I'm gonna shave next!!

I'm shocked at the nose and feet growing thing 😂 did not know this !! Something to look forward to 🙃

@Foxd0g almost instantly for me although I occasionally wake up with stiff fingers (that’s what she said ) And I’m 5 months since birth. literally a few days after birth I was back to normal. I sympathise whole Heartedly good luck with it all x

I never knew it could feel like the baby is kicking your actual vagina...always happens in the most awkward of situations.

Hormonal rage! I used to be such a kind wife 😄

The horrific night sweats after that went on for weeks post birth.
Heartburn
Leg cramps
Bleeding for 10 WEEKS post birth

Oh and your periods being even worse than before.

Carpal tunnel. And a B belly. Some people don't get the perfect round bump, some people get a massive bump and a shit ton of wiggly fat underneath it that looks like an entire other baby.