Things people dont tell you about pregnancy....

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Just for fun!

My ribcage has gotten wider
My hips have gotten wider
I can only get good deep breaths if im sat straight up or standing

URGH

Swollen labia.

Didn't happen the first time, currently 33 weeks with my second and by lunchtime I feel like I've been kicked multiple times in the lady parts. Lying down eases it, but then the heartburn is far, far worse so I can't win.

SPD! Didn't have it first time round, got it this time and I've got 18 weeks to go and it's getting worse by the day! ☹️

I could hardly sleep from 18 weeks onwards. 18 weeks!!

Pelvic girdle pain.

I went up a shoe size (and stayed that way)
I heard heartburn was bad but jesus christ, the pain was unreal, i struggled to eat anything
I have hair under my chin
The extreme tiredness and lack of energy
The sense of smell increasing, i could smell just about everything, even water had a stronger smell. It still doesn't seem to have gone back to normal (4 weeks after baby)

There's probably more but that's all I can think of at the moment

Piles. Why does no one tell you about the piles?

Growing pains, the constant ache just above your mini, so I literally have to carry my bump and support it until I discovered the bump support band.

Peeing 1000000 times per night

Everyone having an opinion - should you be eating that, too much cholesterol etc etc

Cellulite. Covered in cellulite

Boobs are so painful for the first trimester.

Mood swings and depression, loneliness! (Just being truthful)

Carpal tunnel!!! Both hands!!! Couldn’t even hold a drink first thing in the morning. Also varicose veins on your lady parts -thankfully disappeared a couple of weeks after birth but oh my god was I terrified what I saw them!

Seconding swollen labia (varicose veins anyone?)

Also to keep them company, haemorrhoids. Ones that can get thrombosed (i.e. Hard) so you find it uncomfortable to sit forward (avoiding irritating the 'roid, but then squishing your swollen vag) or leaning back (sitting on the' roid, relieving your vag).

Sigh. Seven weeks to go...

Heartburn so terrible that gaviscon was on a daily basis (hourly!)
It also affected my eyesight and I wore glasses for pregnancy and first year of DC life. Then gradually eyesight came back and now eyesight is fine!
Some people said it was coincidental but midwives and nurses have since confirmed it can happen.

Definitely the hairy belly.

I have weird blue marks on my boobs, like bruised broken veins, no idea what they are or if they're here to stay.

It being almost a military operation to turn over in bed.

Exactly how dark your nipples go. They're almost black at times!

But also nobody ever really explained just how lovely it is to feel your baby kick and move. Can't put it into words. And nobody said exactly HOW GOOD my hair would look

That you can end up with any number of pregnancy symptoms from the list- or practically none.

I lucked out and only had a couple, and they were all the interesting/positive ones. Apart from an insatiable craving for almond milk and a super sensitive nose, I spent 9 months in blissful pink hormone fog. DH said I was like a drugged smiley dugong wallowing in the warm shallows. Not one minute of nausea.

That birth thing was a bit of a wake up call though...

Being sick everyday 😵
Yay to bigger feet (and wider 😕)
Generally more hairy
Implantation pains
Tits like watermelons...but too painful for OH to touch!

Third time here but no one told me about
Leg cramps
Wind
Going up a shoe size
Pelvic girdle pain
Being out of breath
Sweating
Crying
Mood swings
Bad skin
Bladder weakness
But it's all worth it and goes away after the birth 😃

Forgot to add - the world thinking they own a stake in your body. From strangers touching and commenting, to people you know suddenly deciding to instruct you on what you're eating ("don't eat that!" versus "you're not eating enough!"), sleeping, either reminding you not to drink or telling you one won't do any harm, whether you should come back to work, dissecting your symptoms, asking personal questions about your marriage and finances, how you'll feed your baby, blah blah blah

Nosebleeds! Now that has taken me completely by surprise, especially as I've never had a nosebleed before in my entire life.

And I was expecting sore boobs but oh my god, not this sore!!

Oh and insomnia every morning around 4 I'm sat at the kitchen table eating salt and vinegar crisps

The smell of the umbilical cord stump before it shrivels up and falls off. Actually, the whole shrivelling and falling off thing. It's just nasty.

That you won’t be able to see your floof no matter how much you try, god knows what lopsided patchy pubes I was rocking after trying to shave for the birth 😂😭

@Hoolahlah66 please tell me it goes away after the birth! I'm currently typing with my wrist support on and wondering how many times I'll wake up with numbness and pain in the night!

In the mornings I can't do anything with either hand and my fingers are all locked up

Heartburn
Constant runny nose
Bloating
Wind
Extra hair everywhere
Skin going like a 13 year old with acne problems

And to counter a PP, my feet shrank a whole foot size. Had to get rid of loads of shoes when I was pregnant with my DD

My face went a funny colour. And the tummy line.

It's post partum I didn't know about:

You'll waterfall blood the first time you stand up post birth

Your hair will fall out

It stings like a be-ach when you pee

Breastfeeding will (at first) feel like your baby has hedgehog spikes in their mouth

A Brazilian wax can be your best friend

Under boob sweatiness!!

No sleep, tiredness, breasts so sore that you have to sleep in a sports bra, horrendous varicose vein (that made its way all the way to my labia) the heartburn is absolutely horrendous, the fact that you can in fact go further over on your second pregnancy than your first, that your second birth can be far more traumatic than your first.

And don't get me started about afterwards!!

All worth it though 👶🏼

The discharge is the one thing nobody told me