Why isn't being pregnant an important enough situation to quit smoking

[loveyourself87]

I'm giving my self a very hard time about this and wanted to know from Other pregnant women who are smokers what they think.. this is a subject that will no doubt invite your typical 'just stop it', 'you're being selfish' etc comments but really wanting answers from women who experience this, have a go if you want but in the best words possible, it won't make a difference to how I feel. How is it that knowing full well I am pregnant with a much wanted baby isn't enough for me to stop smoking? I have cut down from 10 a day to around 5 a day, I vape during the day but on weekends I smoke more. I know the dangers of smoking to my health and more so the effect it can have on the baby. I'm just perplexed as to what the hell is wrong with me that I'm continuing to smoke. I've read the Allen Carr book, which helped for a bit but doesn't take away the need for a smoke. I vape during the day but when I get home it's as if a treat is waiting for me. I've tried to speak to the smoke free team and have been on the waiting list for 5 weeks and yet to be seen, spoke to the midwife and she said it requires will power! I was a strong minded person prior to pregnancy and was regular active in the gym and could quit if I wanted to but it's as I'd because I can't see the negative effects of the smoking on the baby it seems like it's not real! Ignorant of me I know but what did you do to help you quit smoking.

my friend has been really struggling with this lately. The real gamechanger for her was reading the statistics on the Tommy's website that the risk of stillbirth is 52% higher in pregnant women who smoked 10 or more, and
the risk of stillbirth was 9% higher for those smoking 1 to 9 cigarettes a day. This on its own wasn't enough, but she then read various blogs about women's experiences of stillbirth so that she had some idea of the pain and trauma and realised that if it happened to her she would always think that the outcome may have been different if she hadn't smoked, and that she would never forgive herself. Last time we spoke she hadn't had a cigarette in a month. Perhaps something similar would make it feel more real for you?

For me it was guilt, realising that this wasn't just my baby it was dh too, and how would I react if he was the one carrying and was smoking. I visualised the baby and poison going in. It was bloody difficult and I won't judge you. Then morning sickness crept in and I wasn't bothered any more

Gosh you're being aggressive OP when you recognise that this topic would cause a debate... People are posting potential pictures and statistics because you've asked for incentive to stop, or atleast are questioning why what you have done/seen so far hadn't been enough. I personally have no advice, I don't get it as I have never smoked. Doesn't make me a Saint by any book but I cut out alcohol and caffeine because it was enough to know there was the potential to harm or have an effect on my baby. Goodluck speaking to the GP, I hope they can provide some support to make you stop. I'm shuffling off now before I get attacked...

So you're not even a proper smoker and you're still doing it?

Get over yourself and pack it in. Farting about thinking how 'intriguing' it all is and buying bollox self help books is not the answer.

You know it's bad for the baby. All this naval gazing and asking for help, is just delaying actually quitting.

thank you for the pic, that would be horrible if smoking was a definite cause!

My nephew was born more deformed than that due to smoking. He would love to play football but can't run. Has learning difficulties and gets bullied daily because of his looks. They operated on him of course but it was so severe it stays visible. You can smoke again later, just try not yo do it now. I know how hard it is but messing someones life up in such a bad way is a much harder guilt to live with.

@Justasconfusedwithnumber2 were you hired by one of the mean girls above? Bar one person, all my responses have been so positive and full of gratitude! Re read if you can be bothered but I'm assuming you are the same person under a different name! Simple , if you have no constructive advise and want to attack me, I will respond with the same tone.

@squee123 I have actually been reading the Tommy's site this afternoon! Thank you for the info

@Besidesthepoint thank you for sharing your story, could I ask what condition your nephew has? X

@thefluffysideofgrey perplexed is the word I used! Kindly fart yourself off this post, no helpful advise! Look at all the wonderful posts who have shared their stories and tips whilst you are just here on your high horse!

Gosh, this thread is utterly bizarre.

OP, no one is offering unsolicited advice here.

You asked.

All the stuff about pps being ‘mean’ or having their own issues triggered by your inability to stop smoking is just a red herring.

Stop if you want to. Don’t stop if you don’t. 🤷‍♀️

.

@hystericaluterus re read previous comments. If you do not like my response then please don't comment. Loads of comments from pp's above were nice, the ones who want to personally attack will get a different tone! I'm not here to be your friend or make you like me! My questions and query have received a lot of very helpful advise which I am grateful for! If this post is bizarre or people are getting offended by some of the responses I give to people who I find rude then it's your choice to go elsewhere! This is mumsnet and everyone is free to ask what they want and speak their mind!

Imagine your tiny baby in a shoebox full of cigarette smoke and someone putting the lid on. That’s basically what you’re choosing to do every time you light up.

@haverhill thank you for your response! It is a horrible habit and that image is horrendous!

This is mumsnet and everyone is free to ask what they want and speak their mind!

Exactly, so don't get all mardy when people say things you don't like. Such a bad attitude!

You knew your post would be divisive and as you say people are allowed to speak their mind.

Hope you manage to kick the habit.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and I haven't had a cigarette since I found out I was pregnant at less than five weeks, but I still crave nicotine every single day.

When I was pregnant with my only other child fifteen years ago, I'm ashamed to say that although I cut down massively, I still smoked occasionally throughout the pregnancy - even having on in early labour. Thankfully my daughter was and remains perfectly healthy, but I've tortured myself with guilt over being so selfish.

Prior to getting pregnant with this child, my husband and I were TTC for sixteen months, and at the beginning of that period I gave up smoking, switching to vaping, then cutting down the strength before stopping that too. I had no cravings after that. After TTC for a year though, I became frustrated that I wasn't pregnant, and started to smoke again out of the blue when I'd be out drinking. I continued to smoke until I found out I was pregnant in May and then I gave up cold turkey. It's been hell this time though, and I still desperately crave them, especially after eating. I wouldn't recommend cold turkey.

What strength of vape juice are you using? Vaping during pregnancy isn't ideal but it's definitely the better bet. With the right equipment and strength of nicotine, quitting shouldn't be too harrowing using a vape.

Well done on cutting down.

@AFairlyHardAvocadoHoHo why is what I'm writing to other posters offending you? This is my post and I asked for advise from mums to be who haven't quit smoking! I do not understand why you wait till I post something that aggravates you then comments! I was looking for advise and have received it! If some posters want to use a different tone with me I will do the same, if anyone is not happy then go to another post! I really don't care. Stop taking away what this post is meant to be for because you get offended by people's responses.

@Alderaan thank you for being honest and sharing your story. It truly is difficult as there are hundreds of posts from women further into their pregnancy and still looking for advise on how to give up! It truly is the devil and I'm glad you have found a way. I'm currently using 6mg up from 3mg, it does the trick and that's what helps me cut down and go for days without smoking.

I do not understand why you wait till I post something that aggravates you then comments!

Because I just read the thread, I haven't been following it live... calm down. Good luck with everything I hope some of the posters who have quit while pregnant can persuade you to stop.

No, you mistake my meaning.

The point it was trying to make is this. I think that you are really overestimating how much people care about whether or not you stop smoking. Once the thread goes cold, people are just going to get on with their day.

This is not about what people think of you and your choices. It’s about what YOU think about / do about stopping smoking.

So when people tell you things aimed at motivating you to stop smoking (as you requested) and you respond with denial or attack (as you have done) you are effectively distracting from the issue that brought you here in the first place: You would like to stop smoking because you are pregnant. Only you can do something about that. It’s only going to affect you and your child. It’s got nothing to do with anybody else, including me.

@AFairlyHardAvocadoHoHo thank you

@hystericaluterus the ones aimed at motivating me to stop have been appreciated and responded to, the ones you are commenting about are rude! That is my opinion! I do not care if this post goes cold and everyone forgets, as I mentioned above, I'm not here for friendship or to seek approval! My query has been answered and I'm not depending on mumsnet for all the answers and help! I hope that clears everything?

IHope you find what you are looking for and manage to kick the habit.

I think you are aware you're going to get different opinions but by being rude and having an attitude because someone said something that you don't like isn't helpful is it?
You're getting upset by this responses because of your own guilt. Which is understandable.

You only need to google image as PP said and I think it will help you make a decision.
A study found that baby's who had mothers who smoke had development delays. They tested x amount of women.
I also remember watching a programme on it and her baby's FHR was much lower than it should be. The way the doctor described it on there was imagine having to struggle for every breath you take that's what your baby is feeling.

@hystericaluterus thank you