Catching up with TTC #1, thread 7!

[MrsEG]

Starting a new thread as the old one is almost full!

@stormtrooperjulian
@thumper59
@TrashKitten10
@Bostonfern
@MrsR16
@Tropicana1
@Bettythecat
@purplefig
@MrsR16
@ELW85
@daisiesandpeonies
@PippaPug
@cupcakesandglitter
@Fivebyfive2
@LokiCat
@MrsH497
@BabySquid

Also tagging some grads as per the last thread, so sorry if anyone is missed off!
@Delilah7
@crossfitgirl
@RanchoRelaxo
@cookie0508
@mrsof20118

Please please forgive me if I’ve missed anyone, I basically just copied the last thread list and checked the last two pages!!!

@MrsEG - After about 40 mins my back starts really hurting as I can’t often get comfortable and where I’m short I always have a gap behind my back, next time I’m going to ask if I can have a pillow to help because it’s so painful when I get off!
They are both transverse and were quite happy spinning around 😂 we have matching placentas which like you is why I don’t think I have felt one of them and the other one I think is more active late at night (doesn’t bode well does it when they are born!)

It’s worth going private, even for a couple of sessions it will really help for the next few months it will be worth it!

@mrsEG I won't lie the first few weeks were extremely tough, breastfeeding and the sleep deprivation was very hard at first, and I didn't enjoy a lot of the first month. Only at about 6 weeks things started getting easier, and now I'm loving every minute of it. All my mum friends felt the same, sort of loved and hated it at the same time. It's so bloody true when people say nothing prepares you. It was still a huge shock, even with all the daily mumsnet preparation and fully expecting it to be hard, the reality was so so so different. However, it's completely worth it for all the lovely cuddles, smiles and just growing to love a little being so much! So exciting to know you'll meet them in a few short months! Have you got lots of support and help for when they are born? My NCT friend had twins and they said their best buy was some blanket things that go in the car seat, that form a little pouch so you can essentially pick the baby up with the blanket and it keeps them swaddled in it so you don't wake them and you can pick them up one handed. I'll find the name of them. She said it was the best and most useful thing for having 2! Enjoy the magical second trimester and pamper yourself as much as you can 😘xxx

@purplefig My theory is, I’d rather overpack and not use things, than realise I’ve not got something I want/need (this is my blanket theory - I overpack for every holiday, weekend away...) Oh don’t get me started. I called DH after speaking to the GP and opened with ‘Those f**king Tories...’ - how is a physio waiting list of that many months okay? I’d be crippled before seeing anyone who could help. Private is £55 a session - not everyone could afford to do that! It’s so cruel and unfair on literallt everyone, the patients and the wildly overstretched NHS. Is your back feeling any better today?

@PippaPug Our twins are twins haha! Clearly transverse must be super comfy for them at this stage! Yep I’m the same, those hospital beds aren’t comfy at all! She let me roll on to my side after a while at mine as my back was hurting!! Pillows is a fab idea! Have you any idea when you might start your mat leave yet?

@MrsEG - OMG!!! That is amazing! I am so, so jealous that you have that...but I’m also called Emma, so I can live vicariously through that photo, haha!
I’m really sorry to hear about the pain and the really really crappy wait times for a physio. It’ll definitely be worth it, to go private even for a few sessions. It’s just expense that could be done without.

@purplefig if DH is on a night out, I think pizza and Netflix are called for!
WFH is the dream weekend transition! Plus I got to have crumpets this morning when I usually don’t have time 😀

@PippaPug - so pleased for you that the scan went well and you can feel them wriggling around. I’m hoping my the time mine comes round in a couple of weeks, the boy will be a lot more active and I get to feel him regularly.

We’re starting our Potter marathon tonight and a relatively early night for the train in the morning. Also, how weird is it to fancy a korma at 11:33?! 😂

@Crossfitgirl Oh thank you lovely. If you can find the name of those blankets they sound amazing! I’ve met one twin mum, and one lady pregnant with twins so far - we have a twin workshop during our NCT in early December too! Loads of help on tap as mum and sister live very close by. My sister could have written the exact same as you - in those early weeks she had a lot of ‘good god what have we done’ thoughts and struggled so much but like you, she powered through. It’s so helpful to hear stories like that though as I think knowing it’s a normal feeling and that it will pass will help me get through it! Glad to hear you’re really starting to enjoy her now. My niece is 17 months, she’s amazing. I remember her really coming in to her own around 6 months and she’s just been a bag of personality ever since!!x

@purplefig I was lucky enough to borrow a tens machine, I think it was the mothercare one? Basically I had to go to triage for reduced movements (I couldn't tell them I was happy with my movements, I'd been too distracted by labour to notice them) thought I'd be there for half an hour, as movements were fine once I concentrated, but ended up stuck there about 2 hours. Are you on the PBC facebook page? My birth story is on there, PM me and I'll send you a link or my name to search. I LOVE telling people about my labour! It was perfect besides the bit in triage. The most amazing thing I've ever done.
Honestly motherhood is amazing, it's bloody hard at first, REALLY hard, but it gets easier after the first few weeks and is totally worth it xxx

@mrsEG www.snugglebundl.co.uk/car-seat-blanket/

@Crossfitgirl Oh what a pain in the arse! Other than that is sounds totally perfect though. Oooo totally PMing you as I love that fb group . Also how did you meet your mum friends? We've got NCT next month and I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself to 'make friends', but also, I really do want some local mum friends!!

@ELW85 Weirdly enough I've got my leftover homemade korma for dinner tonight (not to rub it in ). But yes, Netflix is a must. Anyone seen anything good? I always end up watching the same old stuff due to choice overload! Enjoy your Potter marathon - truly, is there a more satisfying way to spend a wintry eve?!

@MrsEG I'm a chronic over packer too, so I'll just embrace it for birth! Your comment to DH made me snort with laughter, so true. Hope you can track down a private one soon and start to get some help and advice. Back is way better since discovering he magic of sleeping with a pillow between my knees thanks. Still VERY excited to try my gigantic pregnancy pillow tomorrow though...

@purplefig mainly through my NCT group, we have a group WhatsApp and it's been a godsend, so when you go, make sure at least someone gets everyone's number and creates a group. It makes the 3am feeds and unsettled nights so much less lonely as someone else is always up at the same time, and its a massive support. I have a couple of other friends who are just friends of friends that happened to be preggo and I asked for their numbers and arranged to go on walks and things. But even without that, you will meet people. I would suggest going to local baby groups, things like feeding peer support or whatever your local HV service offers as it'll all be new mums wihh similar age or very new babies - that's if you plan to bf, unfortunately there's sod all out there for ff babies support wise which is sad. Find out what's on in your local area in advance so its easier to think what you want to do when baby is born. Block booking stuff might be good as it means you'd see the same people each week for a number of weeks so you would he more likely to make friends. But what I will say is, don't put pressure on yourself to go out too soon or too much. Value napping or resting over everything else in those first weeks, as having a little bit of sleep makes a huge, repeat HUGE difference to how you feel. It might be the difference between feeling like you're not coping, and actually getting through the day. I tried to do quite a lot in the first month, and actually it was way too much pressure on myself and next time round, I'll be staying at home and only going out when I'm ready, and I'll be doing it gradually so I get used to it. I'm starting baby massage in a months time but until now, I wouldnt have committed to doing anything weekly. It's far easier to pick and choose what you do each day, dependent how the day or night has gone. Once baby is in more of a routine it's then easier to get out and about to things for certain times etc.

Please enjoy the rest of your pregnancies, do all the coupley stuff, enjoy the kicks and rolls you feel, rub your bump, and book a newborn photoshoot, they are the cutest bloody things ever!

@Crossfitgirl oh wow, your advice is super helpful!! I think I'll have to get a bigger bag... 😂 I'm glad you're doing ok and Olivia looks absolutely beautiful!

@ELW85 I'm surprising my DH tomorrow by taking him to London to watch Wicked! I've had it planned since the beginning of September 😊 we're then going carpet shopping on Sunday I think - we need to get this nursery done!

@PippaPug I'm so glad everything went well! Goodness, 75 mins! You must have loved every second!

@MrsEG oh no! I hope you get sorted sooner rather than later...

@ELW85 Ha, I’ll have to send you a photocopy!! I’ve had it since I was 16, it’s honestly one of my most prized possessions! Perfectly acceptable to eat korma before noon. I had such a craving for soup with crusty bread before and was tucking in to it long before midday!

@crossfitgirl Thanks so much for that link lovely!

@purplefig You’ll love the pregnancy pillow! It’s just so snuggly!! I’ve just finished a series on Netflix called 60 Days In - sheriffs plant moles in a Jail for 2 months to get feedback from them. Honestly I was hooked after episode one! Also I agree with CrossFit - I’ve met a lot of mums at yoga and aquanatal but my sister has met her mum friends at baby groups, especially toddler coffee mornings etc. There’s a lot more common ground when you’re meeting every week to moan about your lack of sleep haha!

@MrsR16 Thanks lovely! I’d love to see Wicked - sounds like a fab weekend!!

@Crossfitgirl ahh that's fab to hear - our local NCT has an opt-in phone sharing option which I ticked (heartily!) so hopefully we'll get a whatsapp group going. Guessing most of the people going will be in the same boat (first time mums) so hopefully it'll be easy enough. Local baby things is a great shout too - I know there's a local breastfeeding support group literally 5 mins from our house, so I'll check the times that is on. Great shout about not overdoing it too - I fully intend on doing a whole lot of nothing for at least the time DH is off on paternity leave and probably more like a month. It'll be Feb, so I'm thinking it's a great time to hunker down and live in a newborn bubble.

@MrsEG Oooo that sounds interesting, thanks I'll check it out. Yeah I've met some mums at yoga, but I think lots of them already have kids. But still I figured they might be at some of the local baby groups and it'll be nice to recognise some friendly faces. Totally agree there's got to be more common ground once you've got the baby and you're meeting regularly though. How're you doing this afternoon? Are you WFHing? Hopefully that helps (at the very least you can wear comfy clothes and have access to a bath which is more than can be said for most offices).

As I'm self-employed I'll be on Maternity Allowance and I've just been reading that it's currently suffering from huge backlogs due to 'staff shortages'. You can't apply until you're 26 weeks and you're supposed to hear back in 8 week, but apparently some mum's aren't getting their first payment until weeks and months after they've given birth.

I'll be OK as luckily DH can cover most outgoings and we have savings etc. But it could so easily be a huge worry and it just feels so cruel to subject new mothers to this kind of financial stress when they've just been thrown right in at the deep end! Wow I have enjoyed ranting about the government on here today .

@MrsR16 - what a wonderful surprise! Lucky DH 😊 I hope you have a wonderful time! I’ve not been to a show in the west end before so can’t wait.
Progress toward the nursery will be a lovely way to spend your Sunday too.

@purplefig - oh so jealous of that Korma!! We watched The Laundromat on Netflix the other night, and really enjoyed it. It’s about The Panama Papers, and gives a bit of an overview of corrupt lawyers etc so maybe not a chill out film, but decent!

@MrsEG - it would be in my prized possessions too!
I’ve also just finished watching 60 Days In. Robert totally needed psych evaluation, didn’t he?

Happy Friday! I've been shooting a video all day - using my house as a set - everyone has just left and I've collapsed on the sofa! So happy it's the weekend and so happy everyone has gone!
My weekend looks fairly chilled - I have a gig tomorrow night with friends - I'll be pretending I'm drinking and hoping that don't guess that I'm not! What's everyone else up to?

Quick question: did anyone get intense dizzy spells in first trimester? Mine are about 5-10 a day. I feel like I'm about to pass out rather than faint. When I went to the doc a week ago (for a check up) she said my blood pressure was normal but low end of normal - bit concerned it's dropped.

@PippaPug I'm good thanks. Apart from the dizziness, this week has been a bit easier. How are you? Did you want to find out the genders or were babies just not playing ball?

@Crossfitgirl Olivia is beautiful and your tips and advice are all so valuable. I feel like an actual baby is so far off for me but it's lovely to read about other people's journeys into motherhood!

@purplefig ahh it's really interesting about maternity allowance. I have my own company and had no idea I'd be entitled to any maternity pay at all. That sucks about the delays though!

@MrsH497 Sounds like you need to rest and take some time from work! Hope you're feeling less sick.

@Lemonysherbet Is your throat feeling any better?

@LokiCat How exciting that you told your colleagues! Not telling dole is killing me. I was a bit useless on a shoot today and I wish I could have told the people with me why! I currently just look a bit crap at my job 😂

@ELW85 Ian mckellen! Enjoy! I work from home most days and am quite partial to an afternoon nap! Have a great weekend!

@MrsEG Sorry to hear about those physio times. Hope you manage to book in a private appointment.

@PippaPug glad to hear the scan went well and you got to see them both for so long!

@Crossfitgirl glad to hear you're doing well and Olivia looks adorable! Great tips on the hospital bag list as well 😊 random question RE birthing ball which I've been thinking about - do you deflate it and then re inflate it at the hospital, or take it in all blown up?

@purplefig haha I used to watch LOADS of one born every minute (thankfully a long while pre preg) but thankfully the only one I can vividly remember was this girl that had the calmest water birth, she barely made a sound and it seemed so peaceful and relaxed! I manage to use it as a positive birthing reinforcement 😂 thank god I can't remember any of the rest of them haha!

@MrsEG do give your midwives a call - when I was having really bad sciatica a few weeks ago they told me to let them know if it persisted and they would arrange for me to see a physio. Thankfully that weeks yoga session really sorted me out so I didn't need to but I do think they might have quicker access to pregnancy related physio than the GP

@purplefig That’s shocking! At the risk of sounding terribly Manc, that really boils my piss! How on earth can women be expected to just wait for the money to come through? If there are such delays why do you have to wait to apply til 26 weeks? Like you say that must add so much stress for women who are really going to rely on it. What if a woman has a premature baby?! This bloody government! I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed that it all goes through quickly for you!

@ELW85 OMG - Robert was clearly someone in need of some professional help! Did you watch the aftermath show where they went to their homes, and he had his ‘10 rules of Robert’?! Why is that man allowed to teach children!!

@Larrydavid Ooh that sounds like an exciting day! Are you a singer? I did get quite dizzy in the early day’s, I do a bit now too - my BP has always been on the lower side. Make a really concious effort to drink plenty and have lots of snacks as that would always help me. Sometimes I just needed some sugar!! My bag was always packed full of jelly beans!

@Tropicana1 Thanks lovely. I think I’ve been able to self refer via my private healthcare at work thankfully! So they’ll cover about 60% of the cost. Puts my mind at ease! How are you feeling at the mo?

Happy Saturday all, and Halloween weekend! Will post a pic of bump as a Pumpkin later!!

@tropicana1 I forgot to take mine as we were in such a rush, but I'd have taken it blown up and left it in the car, and got DH to go out for it later if needed. Spose depends how much time you think you have, how big your boot is, and whether you can be arsed deflating and reinflating x

@tropicana1 they had loads at the hospital anyway x

Hi all, looks like I missed loads of posts yesterday!! Just about caught up I think.

@crossfitgirl, Olivia looks like she's becoming a little character! So good to hear from you and that you're both doing well xx Great tips on hospital bags, I'll have to start making a few notes I think! Xx

@Larrydavid, what gig are you going to?? Xx

@MrsEG, omg don't get me started on this government! Dh says I shouldn't watch the news anymore, he's worried I'll get worked up and go into early labour 😂

Not sure about you ladies, but I could happily have a duvet day with all this rain! Alas, food shopping and general errands call.. Excited though, we ordered some animal canvases for the nursery and they're at the post office waiting for us to collect 😀

Hope every one has a good weekend! Dh is at a gig tonight, so I'll be at my parents, we're having ribs and chips from the Chinese, then watching Strictly 🙂

@MrsEG - haha our pickley twins! How’s the nursery prep going? I’m off to pick up a bouncer today, I have so much in the nursery now, just can’t wait to start decorating now! I will be working as long as possible as like @purplefig I’m self employed, but will stop by Christmas at the latest as the midwifes/consultant thinks that’s the latest I will be able to work - as I’m on my feet constantly. How about you? How’s the pain?

@ELW85 - I’m sure you will, I got to 20 weeks and then I could start to feel something, but I wasn’t 100% sure till Tuesday and that’s with twins!

@MrsR16 - it was wonderful and I couldn’t stop staring even when all we could see was a arm or a leg 😂 I could watch them all day long! How are you?

@Purplefig - I’m in the same boat as you about SE, and I’m pretty nervous about this to be honest and the forms are overwhelming at times....added to the fact work has been a bit hit and miss and currently struggling to get work due to the fact I can’t go abroad for jobs for 6/8 weeks now due to scans etc which is what a lot of jobs are asking for at the moment, I’m pretty stressed about it all. How’s your maternity pillow going?

@Larrydavid - I got quite bad dizzy spells, and my blood pressure was in the bottom end of normal, it lasted till 14/15 weeks - my tricks were make sure you eat little and often, and when you move from sitting to standing do it very very slowly....and if there is anything on the floor leave it - I would get horrendous headrush if I picked something up from the floor and felt awful, so I stopped (including unloading the washing machine 😂) as I ended up holding onto the sides for ages. You can always go back and ask for your blood pressure to be checked again?
We decided not to find out the genders, so we looked away as we like the idea of a surprise - I’m sure I have two boys though!
Hope your evening of pretending of drinking went well and no one clocked on!

@Tropicana1 - it was wonderful! How are you?

Morning all!

En route to the big smoke and DH is sleeping on the train; I wish I could!
19w today and all of my apps are telling me the baby is only going to go on a growth spurt from here 😂

@Larrydavid - nap-ternoons are the best! You sound like you’ve got a really hectic job, so remember to take your time. I felt like I didn’t have to change pace for ages and then I realised I was wrong and I feel better for it now 😊
I still get light headed now. I was packing ur case this morning and stood up too quickly which firmly put me on my arse for a couple of minutes. Awful.

@MrsEG - Robert is terrifying. I definitely wouldn’t let him near kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did have some sort of behavioural or personality disorder. He really needs proper help.

@PippaPug - thank you for the movement reassurance, I’m sure you’re right! And sorry to hear all of the SE hassle you and @purplefig are going through. Definitely not required at a time like this.

@ELW85 ooo thanks for the Rec, I love a good documentary. I ended up just snuggling the dog and reading, seemed to suit the weather! Have an amazing time in London with DH.

@Larrydavid oh yeah you should deffo look into it - I think it's a similar / same amount to statutory maternity pay. You just need to earn a minimum amount and have paid enough NI in. Your Friday sounds hectic - enjoy your chilled weekend. Like @ELW85 said, I too felt much better when I started taking it a bit easier. An excellent excuse to retire from hoovering if nothing else 🤣

@Tropicana1 that's so weird but I think I know the one you mean!!! I was like HOW is she giving birth right now?!?? Now of course that's the only type of birth I'm watching 🤣 I used to watch 1bem and it massively influenced my opinion of birth. Now I think it's outrageous how dramatic / edited they make it given it's shaping the watchers view of what birth is.

@MrsEG you go full Manc - it is totally shocking!! Couldn't believe it when I was reading up on it. Women having to get credit cards etc. out just to cover basic bills. Have a fab party -deffo post a pic of you as a pumpkin!!!! 🎃

@PippaPug that sounds really sensible. I'm going to plan to work to end of Jan but I work from home (largely on my arse!!) and I can work around my nap schedule so it's a totally different kettle of fish to you. Plus I've only got the one in there! I found a great explanatory thread on here with exactly what to do to apply for mat allowance...I'll try and dig it out...YAY I saved it! Ok sorry everyone for the long post but it might be useful for anyone that's self employed:

1. From 26 weeks APPLY. You apply with DWP (Department for Work & Pensions) and NOT HMRC as it's not HMRC who pay you maternity allowance - it's DWP. You can download the form from the government website that I linked from. It's a REALLY simple form - but there are also help pages on the same Gov link. DWP basically don't care about how much you earn from being self employed - they just care that you are self employed and willing to pay the minimum NI required.

1. DWP will contact HMRC on your behalf and then HMRC will write to you to tell you how much you need to pay and what reference to use.

1. All sorted! Don't panic if in-between you get a letter from DWP saying you're only getting £27 a week - this is what you get if you don't make your NI payment to HMRC. It can take them 6 weeks to sort everything. But don't panic. If it does overrun when you wanted to start maternity leave, they will backdate it for you.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3045731-maternity-allowance-self-employed?msgid=88934004#88934004

www.gov.uk/maternity-allowance/how-to-claim

Urghhh no idea why the formatting is so off in that post - I'm in the app and everything! Weather is dreadful here so we're having a quiet one. I've got a smokey aubergine chilli in the slow cooker and we're just about to go through the nursery stuff and make a bit of a plan. And wash all the clothes we've got so far. Newborn clothes are just too much 😭❤️ have a lovely Saturday all! X

@purplefig - would you mind if I Pmed you over the weekend? X

@PippaPug no of course not, go for it x