Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@Navy123 found you too! X

@Frillyfarmer I was offered the whooping cough jab at my 20 week scan and had it then.

I rang my GP surgery a couple of weeks ago to see if I could get my flu jab done today at my midwife appointment and was told they aren't giving it to under 65s yet... Will enquire again today when I'm there. I have asthma so usually try to get it early in the season anyway, but I'm particularly keen to this year.
My OH has had the jab at work and my family have had it done too at pharmacies so that they can help out with baby and not pass anything on (hopefully).
My workplace were giving out flu-jabs but said they wouldn't do it on pregnant women (I think it's a slightly different shot or something??)

Anyway... off to pee in a pot for the midwife now. Fun!

@KnitKitty it's not a different vaccine for pregnant women. Just go to a pharmacy and get it because it looks like they're going to run out of vaccines again this year. It's still free and they just send a letter to your GP to inform them you had it.

Morning ladies. Was so busy over the weekend so not had a chance to be on MN. Probably not such a bad thing though as anxiety is high again because the pops and flutters aren't very frequent still and it's been almost 2 weeks since 20w scan. Hate this not knowing how Bubsy is in there. Seeing midwife Wednesday quickly for a doppler check, really hoping there is still a HB. I had the whooping cough vaccine on Friday and my arm is still aching from it. Have the flu vaccine booked in for Saturday at my GP.

Tried to catch up on the couple of pages I missed.

On the BF convo I really hope if Bubsy comes along and all is well that I can BF but I know my mum couldn't with me and my sister so I'm planning to but will have a back up ........not that I've really given too much thought to beyond getting from one day to the next at the moment. I keep setting milestones, next is Wednesday at the midwife. If all is well then next will be 24 weeks. I'm so scared of things going wrong again.

@ChikiTIKI congratulations on finding out you're having a girl! Am I the only one who hasn't found out who actually has the results?

@janey15 I waited until 18w before allowing work to find out but no announcement, just couldn't hide my belly anymore after hols so decided to not remove the baby on board badge every morning when I got out of the tube station. It's so hard after loss isn't it. I hate all the congratulations. I'm like congratulate me if baby actually is born live and well. Sorry nieces were told when you didn't want to, that's very annoying. I would be upset. Generally others not going through it which is everyone as it's not their body, will be more confident, even my DH is really relaxed now and I'm like still super worried. It's totally natural for you to feel like this.

@SunshineCrocodile I totally understand not wanting to join a month/antenatal thread. I can't bring myself to do it either. Too much excitement of buying stuff etc. I feel so much safer here and love how everyone gets how I feel and also that because we're at different stages I can ask questions and someone will have some advice.

@Frillyfarmer she doesn't sound like a friend at all. I'd choose to cut her out, you don't need people like that in your life.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how was the trip to the London Transport museum? You must have been so tired afterwards.

Sorry you're anxious @InDreamland, setting little milestones makes it a bit easier to deal with I think. Babies don't generally have a pattern of movements until 32 weeks apparently and they only say to worry if you haven't felt any movements by 24 weeks. Do you have an anterior placenta? If you do that makes feeling movements worse. And there are still places where the baby can sit that I can barely feel him moving and I'm 30 weeks now. The whooping cough made my arm hurt for like a week too! It's so much worse than the flu jab! Better than the baby getting whooping cough though.

@Beaglemum93 my placenta is posterior so apparently should be fine for movements. Thanks for the advice, I know others have also given similar advice about position of baby and no. of weeks, I am just a worrier. I'm dreading the flu jab at the weekend, last time I had it I got a horrendous cold, it was awful.

@InDreamland I'm a worrier too, I'm currently at a record for the longest I've managed to stay away from the PAU (2 weeks!), until this I'd been there at least once a week since 18 weeks. The flu jab wasn't bad, it just felt like my arm was bruised for a couple of days. The cold you had last time was likely a coincidence because it is an inactive vaccine so it can't make you ill.

@Knitkitty my DM cat used to love curling up on her bump with my sister.

Catching up on some of the conversation. Me and DH are DTD much less than normal mainly due to tiredness. I did join the antenatal group for Jan and the FB group, now only use the FB group as I find it easier to only join in on some conversations. I BF DD1 and did have some problems to start with, it's my intention again but I don't want to put as much pressure on myself this time. I've had my flu and whooping cough vaccines and know my GP surgery only got the under 65 ones last week.

@InDreamland I find it better to focus on small milestones as well. I've even set DH a limit of he can't start getting stuff down from the attic until 30 weeks.

My grandmother passed away on Saturday, 9 days after we were told to expect hours, I'm glad I got to spend some more time with her and that she's not suffering any more. I will miss her greatly.

Today is the same gestation that DD2 was diagnosed with her heart condition, I have a scan and consultant appointment this afternoon, feeling very nervous.

Hi all, haven't been on in a while...
8 weeks now and 🤞🏻I have no physical reason to worry. I have been hit really hard by nausea and found it very difficult to pretend everything is fine with DM whom I see twice a week so have come clean to her today. She wasn't surprised but said she didn't want to ask. Promised me she and DF will keep it to themselves until I say otherwise - let's hope they keep that promise.

On the subject of dtd, we have done it a grand total of once on one of my very few good days. With my previous mc I had some spotting / light bleeding early on so was very anxious and didn't want to do anything to cause irritation that might lead to bleeding and freak me out. Once I got a bit more confident that this pregnancy isn't an exact repeat of the last the tiredness, nausea and general crappiness kicked in to keep me from feeling like it. I go to sleep pretty much when my DD does and that's that!

I bf'd my first up until my mc, she was about 21 months when she self weaned as I got pregnant. I hope to do it again, hopefully with less tears having had some previous experience. It was a heck of a lot harder than they talked about in the classes and many issues I encountered were never mentioned. I was still glad I persevered as when it is established and you've gone through the major hurdles it's pretty easy going. My milk actually never dried up 😳 and with the sore and growing boobs at the minute I have wet nipples quite often! Possible tmi 🤪

Toddler DD is off sick today. I always catch what she has so I am bracing myself for an even crappier end of the week / weekend...

@Bluebelltulip sorry to hear about your grandmother it's good that you got to spend some invaluable time together. Good luck for your appointment! Hopefully you will be a bit less anxious once you've had it

Sorry about your grandmother @Bluebelltulip. Hope you're ok. Good luck for your scan today, it's understandable that you're nervous but I've got everything crossed for you that all is ok.

@Twitwooo good to hear things are still going well for you. Have you had/are you having any early scans? Sorry your DD is ill, I really hope you don't catch it!

@Beaglemum93 thanks! I haven't had any early scans. I am tempted every day to book one, but the aforementioned worry about irritating things down that and causing spotting is so far keeping me from doing it. I think it will stay that way until I get my 12 week scan through, unless my symptoms disappear which will probably worry me more than the possibility of spotting 🙊

Wow, I've not been on in about a week and I've lost track of the thread. I think there have been some scans (I love seeing them) and some gender reveals. I get so excited for everyone, I'm the only person in real life who I know if pregnant and I'm too early to tell anyone yet anyway.

I've made it to about 10 weeks (today going by my last scan), and am recovering from a week of the MIL staying with us. Hiding my nausea and tiredness from her has left me exhausted and to top it all off I now have an ear infection. I have my harmony blood test and viability scan on Wednesday and I'm hoping this little one is continuing to grow and be strong.

Hi all, hoping you dont mind me jumping across? I joined the huddle after my boy died at 5 days old and got our BFaintP this morning. Feeling bloody nervous, as I am sure you all are as had MC & MMC before my DS#2. Scan booked in for 6 weeks

Thanks @Beaglemum93 and @Twitwoo now trying to distract myself until 4.

@Twitwoo I hope your DD feels better soon and that you don't get it.

@Kayjay2018 I hope you can relax and get some rest, hiding symptoms can be exhausting in itself.

@Twittlebee welcome my fingers are crossed for you.

Oh @TwittleBee! So glad to see you here, I'm (cautiously) thrilled for you! . Know you must be so anxious but everything crossed. I'm only 6+5ish here so not far in front, very much in the throes of first tri anxiety too.

Sorry everyone, about to do school run so will catch up with the rest of the thread later but couldn't not offer congrats xxx

Awww @TwittleBee that's so sad to hear. Hope you are here to stay and tentative congratulations x. Those first few weeks are the hardest.

Good luck for your scan today @Bluebelltip. I appreciate the anxiety will be very high, I'm sure things will all be okay and the heart condition last time was just down to chance. Sorry to hear about your grandmother, hopefully she had good innings and lived a full life x.
Regarding movements, I had anterior and never had an issue feeling movements-at all. This time I have a posterior, but I think the fact I have felt them so early is more due to I know what to expect. My baby, unfortunately never had this pattern that midwives speak of, and he changed his routine so many times and gave me the fright of my life so many times. I went to be monitored so many times and in the end I kind of just waited, I know I shouldn't have as you should always go in, but I was worried about coming across as a bit of a pain in the arse to be honest... There was nothing the midwives did to make me feel this way. Sometimes he'd be going mad at 9.30 in the morning. Other times I'd not feel him until 9/10pm at night. I didn't understand the pattern thing that people talk about as it never rang true for me. I also don't understand how they expect babies to have a patten in the womb, yet when they get out they're as erratic as anything! Ah well.

In the early stages of movements I guess you wouldn't expect to feel them every day or every other day. They can easily change positions and then you just don't feel them anymore.

Thank you for the warm welcomes!

@SunshineCrocodile - ah yeah of course you are only about 2 weeks ahead then!

@rubyroot - that is so true! babies have no routine when they are out do they!

@Bluebelltulip I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's always hard to lose someone but I do think especially so during pregnancy. I'm glad you got a few extra days with her. Hope your scan has gone well.

@Twitwooo nice to see someone else here in first tri! Sorry you've been feeling crap. DD also got sent home here today, apparently there's a virus going round at school. I have loads of work on and husband is away this weekend so it's inevitable I'll catch it. She's currently asleep on me. Hope you escape the lurgy.

@Kayjay2018 10 weeks! That's flown. Good luck for your scan on Weds, hope the infection clears up ASAP. You're a hero to have your MIL in the house in early pg, not sure I could!

@Beaglemum93 glad I'm not the only one worrying so much. I'm rather pleased with myself that so far (not wanting to jinx it though) I've stayed away from the EPU with this pregnancy. Doesn't help though that my midwife appointment on Wednesday was moved to Sunday, I got a call at lunchtime to say she can't do Wednesday now. So anxiety getting worse and worse. I had got Wednesday morning set as my next milestone and it's now been forcibly shifted to Sunday.

@Bluebelltulip so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard even though you managed to have some extra days with her hope you're being looked after at home. I hope your scan and consultant appointment goes/went well this afternoon. I set DH a limit on when he could open the envelope to find out the sex, apart from I keep moving the week longer and longer as I just can't do it.

@Twitwooo hope you don't catch the lurgy! Good that pregnancy so far is going well.

@Kayjay2018 goodness a week with MIL in first trimester! You're a better person than me!

@Twittlebee lovely to see you here. We were on another thread together last year. I commented on the September antenatal thread - so sorry again about your DS. tentative congratulations on your BFP. hope this is a textbook pregnancy and nice and uneventful. How's the woods situation too? I recall there being issues with the neighbour claiming land.

On DTD, I spoke to DH again this weekend and he admitted he found the idea of it a bit weird now with Bubsy being in there so I'm feeling slightly less guilty about it ......before he was saying it was okay because he knew I was worried about it causing a problem.

@Indreamland I ended up finding out the sex of my little boy that I lost at 13.5 weeks. I did so inadvertently, I had appt with geneticist to discuss risk of it happening again etc and she said something and I said I think it was a boy and she said yes. It did make me cry more (in the car after the appt) but I'm glad I knew, even though it did personalise it all a bit more. Its up to you, but if anything did happen now, and it won't, you would end up knowing the sex anyway so you can't protect yourself.

But then you may just want it to be a surprise now, I don't know how you're so constrained, I'm so impatient and end up having to know! 😂

I have just sat through 2 hours of Down's syndrome training then come home to my screening result of 1 in 528

I know I'm 34 but I can't help but worry about this result. My DH thinks it's fine and is acting like I'm being silly but I was expecting a lower risk.

I just wondered what other people have had and how you felt about the numbers?

@janey15 down syndrome training? What even is that? Those stats sound fine. What was your nuchal that is the main thing? Also I believe that the risk factors for a 34 year old are lower, so if its in line with your age, all is fine. X