Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Arh thanks @Bluebelltulip it's really reassuring and definitely more real now.

Thanks @Squiff70 A boy and a girl is lovely!

@Catconfusion great news about your results. It's such a relief isn't it.

@sadtoday21 it's weird, feels like muscles or organs inside sort of doing a short second or two spasm or vibration. Don't know how else to describe it. Easily mistaken apparently for wind.

@TinyPaws sending massive hugs! Good luck for your scan today, hope all goes well and it's one less thing for you to be worried about. What's happened at work? Your partner needs to get a grip, step up and look after you.

@fnej01 glad you've been working on the positivity. I need to try get into the zone but it only last 5-6 days after scan or seeing midwife then anxiety creeps in again.

@rubyroot thank you, I know I have a couple more weeks before the kicks should really start but I just can't help worrying. I think I had a few flutters again yesterday afternoon, at least I hope that's what they are.

@sadtoday21 maternity jeans/leggings are just so comfy aren't they after trying to hold out for as long as possible before giving into buying them!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 yay for reaching the 24 week mark! That's a massive milestone!

@Squiff70 one of each is so exciting!

A boy and a girl @Squiff70! So exciting!

Congratulations on getting to the 24 week viability milestone @UnicornsandRainbows1!

I've got a growth scan this afternoon, the scanxiety doesn't improve with time.

@Beaglemum93 good luck/hope it went well depending on what time your scan is.

I'm feeling fairly low today, I've got so much going through my head and it's getting on top of me. DH is distracting himself I think and keeps talking about things like camping stuff and other things that are very low priority and I'm struggling not to be annoyed and tell him that I don't care.

Good luck today @Beaglemum93!

Amazing news @Squiff70! Thrilled for you!

Sorry you're having such a rough time @Bluebelltulip. Definitely sounds like your DH is trying to distract himself and probably you. I'd gently tell him you're preoccupied and can't deal with anything else right now.

Sorry you're also having a hard time @TinyPaws.

I think you are definitely feeling movement @InDreamland! I'm sure I said to you before that with DD I didn't feel anything until post 20 weeks and even then it was subtle. Also I my midwife has told me on numerous occasions they don't ask you to count or look for a pattern until 28 weeks. Please don't worry, there is plenty of time for them to ramp up!

great news on your results @Catconfusion!

I feel irrationally irritated again today by a thread on here about wearing a baby on board badge. OK the OP was a bit tactless but some of the responses have got me really riled up! Calling women who wear the badges twee and obnoxious, and other posters saying they would deliberately ignore anyone wearing one! I sometimes can't believe the tone on MN and that this is coming form other women! Aside from that I am OK. Pregnancy is dragging. 28 weeks on Saturday and want it to hurry up as it means I am officially in the third trimester!

@Beaglemum93 hope the scan went well.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue oh no, that's not nice. I've not seen that thread, where is it? Obnoxious really? People can be really mean. They way I look at it is always, if it were one of my loved ones then I'd like someone to give up their seat, so I do .....obviously when I'm not pregnant myself. Glad you're okay though, can't believe you're almost 28 weeks! Feels like yours is zipping by and mine is dragging. Think we all feel like we have the longest pregnancy in history! I hope it is movement, had more pops rather than flutters today.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I sometimes think some of the people on mumsnet go out of their way to be obnoxious. There's no way they would act the same way in real life. But I think that's the way the site is going, the attitude from AIBU has spread!

In other news I had the first part of my rrot canal today. She only drilled out two canals, so I've temporary filling and they couldn't fit me in for second appt until 7 weeks. That'll make me 24 weeks and I worried about lying on dental chair on my back for so long, but I'm guessing that it's still relatively early and so not an issue re that vein thing. Can't remember what it's called. I check with midwife anyway. I'm just thinking it's best to get done and not have a flare up re infection, but the local anaesthetic etc worries me. I'm then going to wait until after my pregnancy to have it filled and a crown. I'll just manage with a temporary filling as then the essential work will be done.

@Squiff70 that's lovely news, a boy and a girl 😍
@Bluebelltip sorry you're having a shite time of it. Sending you my thoughts, you've been through so much x

Why do I do this to myself? I've just had to catch up on 2 weeks of posts... I need to check-in more often!!!

@Mistymeow, @InDreamland, @janey15 (and others I have probably missed out), such good news with your scans. Congrats!
Mistymeow... So excited you're having a girl!
InDreamland... The first movements I felt were like muscle twitches. I'm sure that's what you've been feeling. They were really infrequent to for a good 3 or 4 weeks, but gradually got more noticeable and a pattern has emerged in the last week or so.

@Strawberrye Baby probably just moves a lot during the night and you have your scans during the day when she's asleep. I think some babies are also more chilled out than others...

RE the DTD talk... We haven't done it since BFP either. I'm 24 weeks now. I haven't been told to avoid it, but was too scared to in the first trimester, and since they then wanted to keep a close eye on my cervix and are monitoring me for premature birth I just feel safer not doing it. Also, apart from a couple of weeks early on in the second trimester, I haven't really been in the mood anyway... Having another person in my tummy is a bit of a turn-off psychologically for me.

@Bluebelltulip Oh hun, what a difficult time for you. I hope you're okay (as much as you can be). Hugs xxx

@Squiff70 It's hard to 'bounce back' after losing a beloved pet. Take your time chicken. I'm sorry your rabbit is poorly too.
I'm really glad both babies are looking good though, that's wonderful news. And one of each!! How exciting! Congratulations!

I made a post on FB for BLAW; but just a generic one with a link to the Miscarriage Association asking people to read the do's and don't's of what to say if someone has a loss or where to get support if it happens to them/someone close to them. I was too chicken to post about my own experience.

@TinyPaws Oh gosh hun, I'm so sorry! I would be devastated if my OH started smoking again. Was it in response to the argument, or was the argument about the smoking?
Can you talk to your midwife about struggling? Mine was very encouraging about going to GP/midwife for mental well being during pregnancy.
How did the scan go?

@rubyroot well done for getting the tooth sorted. I hope it's not too painful.

I'm 24 weeks now. Viability week! It seems like such a massive mile-stone. Time is both dragging its feet and flying by.
I had my last cervix scan last week and it was still looking fine. Apparently it's not accurate to do it after 24 weeks so I won't be having any more internal scans... phew. But I am still seeing a consultant every 3 weeks or so.
I've got a midwife appointment on Monday (what do they do at 24/25 week appointment?)
My consultant has told me to keep taking the progesterone pessaries until 34 weeks because I've still got quite a high chance of premature birth and she says it should help... But every week seems like another bonus now and baby girl has a better and better chance.
I've also got my head around having a c-section a bit better now and feeling lots more positive about that.
The only thing that's bothering me at the moment is my boobs... They haven't changed at all... No pain, no growth... They don't seem full or anything. Is it a sign that I'll struggle to breastfeed, do you think? Or are they likely to explode in the 3rd trimester? So many women talk about boob changes being their very first sign of pregnancy, it's just got me worried (a bit).

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Hey there pregnancy twin! Glad to see you're doing well. Just to make our lives more similar, we're also planning a move too... It's taking a lot of my energy so not getting on here as much as I'd like.
I hope this baby keeps cooking for as long as possible, but I think starting mat leave early sounds like a good idea, just in case. How are you feeling? How's the bump going?

The OP didn't phrase her argument well but some of the replies! 😳 It was basically a fight to see whose hidden disability was worse and insulting people who wear the badges or get pregnant and expect a seat! I typed out a big long reply in my rage but couldn't be arsed to engage with them!! Not nice @InDreamland or @rubyroot but I've calmed down now!

Yay to 24 weeks and good to hear from you @KnitKitty! My pregnancy is dragging and everyone else's is flying! When will you get your c section date? I have to wait until 36 weeks until mine and I'm impatient!! No advice re the boobs, mine hurt loads with DD pregnancy at the start, it's how I knew to test. This time not much at all, had some random twinges. I don't really remember them being big or swollen before DD was born. It was when my milk came in that I really noticed a difference!

@KnitKitty your boobs will be fine. Mine got a bit bigger first tri. But aren't particularly huge. Believe me they will get huge when they start filling up with milk sand your baby hasn't drunk for a while!
I know lots of women leak before they give birth, but I never did. Not once, was totally dry throughout.

It's really rare for women not to be able to breastfeed though and some of it is lack of support for breastfeeding and thinking that they're not producing enough and having no one to help/support etc.

I struggled the first few days getting baby to latch because of all the drugs, but as soon as he latched he sucked the milk through like a pro. You'll be fine x

@KnitKitty

www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/milk-supply.aspx

My scan went well although baby is massive (93rd percentile) so I'll probably be tested for gestational diabetes again. She did say that he probably just takes after his dad (who is 6ft 4).

@InDreamland that's what my first movements were like, pops and like a muscle twitch.

@rubyroot I'm pretty sure the guidelines are to not lie on your back for too long in the third trimester so 24 weeks should be fine. Ask the midwife though to be safe.

@KnitKitty congratulations on getting to the 24 week viability milestone! My boobs haven't changed much since the first trimester in terms of size or pain. The health visitor told me that it's after you have the baby that they tend to become massive (between feeds). I've had a tiny bit of colostrum leaking most nights since about 21 weeks - not everyone gets this though, I panicked because I thought my body was preparing to go into premature labour (I'm still slightly worried about that to be fair).

Agree with @rubyroot regarding breastfeeding struggles @KnitKitty. It is very rare to actually not produce enough milk. There is a lot of misinformation and assumptions about breastfeeding. My advice would be to read up about the fourth trimester and cluster feeding (which is normal and not a sign you are not producing milk!) You do need a good dose of determination though! You will be fine xxx

Good news about your scan @Beaglemum93! I'm sure you probably just have a big baby! Did they say they'd do any more scans or checks or just the GTT again?

Got a call and answer machine message to say everything came back low risk on the NIPT earlier this evening. I went straight to bible study after so haven't really had time to process the news yet but know I am relieved. I was going to phone the clinic tomorrow to find out the actual numbers, because the baby's sex is in the report and we don't want to know yet. But I managed to very cautiously scroll down to get the results without seeing the sex (I had seen an example of the report before so knew the order of everything on it). Everything came back less than 1 in 10,000 chance!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm having growth scans every 4 weeks anyway because I have an overactive thyroid. The midwife doesn't even think they'll repeat the GTT again yet because I had one at 26 weeks and it was negative but I'll probably ask them to just do it again anyway for peace of mind. I'll talk to the consultant about it next week.

Great news on your NIPT results @ChikiTIKI! When do you plan on finding out the sex or are you keeping it a surprise?

@KnitKitty Omg stop copying me 😂 It's pretty stressful, fuck knows why it all has to happen during the same time but hopefully it'll go smoothly and everything will be fine. When are you thinking of moving? ☺️

Doing okay, baby's been moving around lots which has been loooovely, currently attacking me now 😅. I just want to finish work and be done with it though, everything's starting to hurt a tad, I can't even shave my legs anymore (thank god for winter 🙈) and I have a serious case of cba atm. Hope all has been okay your end

@Beaglemum93 I am not sure if we will find out before the birth or not. The reason I asked for it to be in the report was that I think I would have wanted to know the sex if there was a problem with the baby. Also as it gets near to the birth I may change my mind.... Birth can be so traumatic. It might be nice to find out the sex beforehand and enjoy the moment.

Great news @ChikiTIKI! I knew it would be fine but glad you now have that peace of mind. Well done for being so restrained and not peeking at the sex!

That's good you're being monitored @Beaglemum93 but I honestly think you're just cooking a big one!

Thank you @rubyroot, @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and @InDreamland.

Glad your scan went well @Beaglemum93 and congratulations on your results @ChikTIKI.

@rubyroot glad you are getting your tooth sorted.

I had a bit of a scare this morning, couldn't feel much movement and what I could feel was faint. Went in for monitoring and baby is ok and has tucked it's head into my pelvis. Got my next consultant appointment and scan on Monday.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm not sure when I will get the date, but I already have a fairly good idea of when it's going to be because my consultant wants to do it herself and told me she's aiming at a Thursday morning when I'm 38 weeks... Which would make it the 16th Jan.
Thanks for the advice RE boobs... I think it's just one of those everyone's different scenarios... Mine have never really hurt or fluctuated much during my cycles either so maybe they just like staying as-is. Also, I was being treated for high prolactin levels before BFP, so maybe they were already 'pregnancy boobs' before I even got pregnant and that's why they haven't changed... Hmm... who knows!

I did read something comforting on the NHS website about baby only needing a teaspoon of colostrum at a time... That made me feel heaps better.

@rubyroot Thanks hun; it's good to know that you never got any leaking before having your baby. And thanks for the link.

@Beaglemum93 I can imagine the colostrum leakage feeling a bit disconcerting, but it is normal, from what I've heard. I've been worried that I haven't had anything... We can't win either way, can we? There's always something to worry about! Haha!

*@ChikiTIKI That's wonderful news on the results! I can totally understand wanting to wait until the birth for the lovely surprise of the sex. For me though, it made it all so much more real finding out I'm having a girl... it's really helped me process the pregnancy, which I'd been struggling with a bit, so I'm glad I found out. There's no right or wrong thing to do really... Either way is a lovely way of finding out.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 we're hoping to move in November or early December... Still in the throws of paper-work at the moment, but nearly there I think! When are you moving?
Haha! Who needs shaved legs anyway?
I'm finding I'm more flexible some days than others... depends how baby is sitting. I had really bad round-ligament pain a couple of weeks ago for about 24 hours but that hasn't reappeared again, luckily. It's just taking me much longer to do things and OH thinks it's hilarious watching me get dressed and stuff. Socks and shoes are becoming a bit of an issue...

@Bluebelltulip sorry you had a scare, but glad you got checked and everything is fine.

Is anyone else a cat-mummy?
My cat is soooo adorable with this pregnancy. She's not usually much of a cuddler, but she has been insistent about coming to sit on my belly every-single-day in the second trimester, and she just lies there purring happily for as long as she can with her head resting on my tummy and her paws wrapped round me. It melts my heart. I can feel baby kicking away happily too... I think she can hear the purring.

@KnitKitty mine got bugger all for the first 45 hours of his life. I had to hand express colustrum with a syringe. He was getting 0.3 and 0.4 mks at a time. Didn't help that I had a crying baby the first night after I was recovering from a c section and a really heloful bitch on the ward told me that there was no one to help me hand express and I had to do it on my own as I would have to manage at home! If anyone has hand expressed with a syringe then you will know you need three hands. One to squeeze the colustrum out and two to hold the syringe and pull the syringe down as the drops come out. No idea why the midwives think this is a good method, Seend backwards to me. A very nice midwife turned up at shift change at 7am, saw I was distressed at being left and unable to feed baby and gave me a bloody pump. I could've hugged her.

I'm sure this won't happen to you though. It was a result of epidural, numerous top ups, pethidine and god knows what else they shoved into me as I was wincing as they performed c section.

Mls