Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@Indreamland they say to count kicks from 24 weeks precisely for that reason. I know I started feeling movements early, but mine disappeared for a week and then returned for a bit and the last couple of days disappeared again.
I know when I experienced the fluttering last time about 19/20 weeks there would sometimes be days I hadn't felt it and if you're busy then that's probably why. Youre moving a lot and so baby is sleeping or you're so busy you don't feel or notice the movements. Try not to worry, I know easier said than done!

@DuvetCaterpillar wondering how you are? Hope all is well.

Thanks @rubyroot, everything was fine and we got some great videos of him/her wriggling around in there. Measuring a couple of days ahead this time. Massive feet 😂 feeling so much better and like I can relax and concentrate on other things, so I'm glad I went, but I'm going to have to learn to deal with the between scans anxiety better after the 12 week scan next week.

@Dimblebimble excellent news, glad it went well. I managed 3 weeks as didn't have my 12 weeks until 13 weeks. So I had a 16 week scan and then I'll be waiting for my private anomaly at 19 and then NHS anomaly just before 20

@sadtoday21 I haven't felt any movements yet either. Together with my non-existent bump and the fact that baby has usually been quite "chilled" on scans I'm getting really worried. Everyone seems to say how much their babies are wriggling or dancing around on scans and mine never has. She has been in different positions between scans so must move somewhat but I'm starting to get really scared about why she is quite still on scans and whether there is a reason for this. So that is also fuelling the anxiety about no bump and no movements. Anomaly scan is in 12 days but feels like a lifetime away.

@rubyroot that's our plan too, to have an interim private scan at 16 weeks to find out the gender and for reassurance. I have a weird feeling that it's a boy and have been calling him he rather than it, and my sister said the same thing too after seeing the video which is really weird! Don't have a preference, just have a weird feeling that it's a boy.

@strawberrye The lady who did my scan today said they are programmed (not the right word, but you know what I mean) to be active for 20 minutes then still for 20 minutes, so it just depends if you catch them at the right time.

@strawberrye sorry to hear you are anxious, I completely understand the feeling! Also counting the days until my anomaly scan - also 12 days away, actually! We must both be having the scan on the 21st. I wouldn't worry too much about the lack of bump, mine is also quite small and not enough for strangers to notice yet. As for movement on the scan, the last time I went at 16 weeks baby boy was quite chilled out too and not moving much. They sleep a lot right now and you might have just caught them at the sleeping time. I find that going to the midwife to listen to hb between scans is somewhat helpful for anxiety. How many weeks are you now?

@fnej01 thanks for the reassurance! How many weeks are you now? I completely understand the need to stay off MN sometimes to deal with the anxiety - glad the yoga and swimming are helping a bit. Been meaning to try prenatal yoga as well. I guess since we both have the anterior placenta it might just take a bit longer for movement grrrr!

Well ladies, I finally purchased some maternity jeans for comfort today - absolutely fab they fit nice and tight like my normal skinny jeans, but just have a soft elastic waist. You can't even tell they are maternity jeans. Got them from JoJo Maman Bebe. Very pleased. I was holding off because was afraid to buy anything at all, but I have to say the elastic through buttonhole trick with getting a bit old and feeling much better now. I recommend it!

@TinyPaws sending you hugs through the scanxiety and wishing you all the best!! I'm sure your results will come back low risk and all will be well.

Thanks @sadtoday21 and @Beaglemum93 I think I realised just how worried I was when I burst into tears after opening the letter. I will certainly relay to relax a bit more now. Xx

@strawberrye mmy first born was always still on scans, a sonographers dream. They always commented on how well behaved he was. He stayed in the same position all pregnancy. None of this rolling or turning upside down etc. Unfortunately he didn't want to move during my induction either which is why it ended in c section! 😂

And unfortunately at 21 months he hasnt kept up with his lack of movement. 😭Although I think he's relatively chilled, despite starting the terrible twos recently.

This one... Well he's totally different. He's always on the bloody move. Difficult to scan and absolutely crazy the amount of moving he does!

So what I'm trying to say is all babies are different. Yours may be sleepy in the day and more on the move at night. Who knows? But in my experience it's nitgubg to be worried about

@Catconfusion I was crying like a baby when I got my nipt resukts. Ring my OH who I sacred and he thought it was bad news because I couldn't compose myself!
I think it was the sheer relief.

Arh bless you @rubyroot I can imagine it was tough after everything you went through.

I didn't realise how worried I was until I got the good news. My DH is the eternal optimist. He just nodded and said he knew it would be fine. I guess they worry in a different way to us. If it goes wrong we have to deliver the baby so it's doubly nerve wracking. Xx

@TinyPaws good luck for 12 week scan, are you carrying your baby or your partner?

Sorry I can't remember. If its you then she can just smoke outside? My OH smokes, I really want him to stop, as I can't bear the thought of him not being here for our kids. But there's little I can do 😭
If your partners smoking when she's carrying your baby, we'll that's really tough! I guess nicotine is massively addictive and it must be difficult. Hope you're alright x

@Catconfusion, it's bloody tough being a woman, totally brutal.

I don't know what it's like for all men, but I think they don't have the emotional connection that we do with baby when we're pregnant. I always loved my little one when he was pregnant and of course it was overwhelming when he was born. My OH on the other hand was totally overwhelmed for the love he felt when he was born as I think this was the first time he experienced proper live for him.

I was pregnant.. Not he!

@rubyroot that makes total sense and I agree they don't have the same emotional connection until baby is here and tangible. It's so sad what you both went through and must have been heartbreaking. You've done so well in this pregnancy to face the worry and struggles let along the troubles you've had at work. I'm sure it will be worth it when baby is here and you'll never forget the one you lost! Xx

Oh I was referring to my successful pregnancy there. To be honest I really disconnected myself during my termination. I couldn't face seeing my baby at 13 weeks. It was difficult what I went through, but God I'm aware that there's so many women that go through much worse. Yeah, work sucks. But priorities eh? I'm not stressing myself out about it. I've currently got bigger fish to fry.

That's a great attitude @rubyroot it's definitely about self preservation. Xx

My 20 week scan got booked in at 20 weeks plus 6 days so the latest they are supposed to do it 😐 it's a week after my birthday. Would love for it to be before instead. Got an appointment with a doctor at the hospital on Monday about having a c section this time. I hope they take me seriously. A midwife friend works there so I might ask for her advice. I will be doing a lot of prep for the meeting.

How is everyone doing? Sorry I've not been around much, what with work, DD and we're trying to get our shit organised for moving 😏 But today I made the 24 week mark and so, so relieved. Thinking of just finishing up at 29 weeks (actually 28 coz of annual leave) due to DD coming at 32 weeks and I had a week hospital stay before that.

Hope everyone's been doing okay!

@ChikiTIKI my scan in also at almost 21weeks - it's still in the range though so I wouldn't worry too much!

Thank you for the support. Feeling quite uncomfortable today baby seems to be stretching me today.

@Squiff70 congratulations on your scan.

@Catconfusion congratulations on your results. My DH is the more optimistic one as well but is more apprehensive this time.

@tinypaws sorry you and your partner have had an argument.

@ChikTIKI I had my 20 week scan at 21+1 which wasn't an issue.

@janey15 thanks, you're right - 4 days isn't much, it's more the fact it's wrong that's bothering me 😂 you're right though @rubyroot @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I should question it next week to be sure.

Sorry I left some of you hanging on that last post . We've told our parents now so I'm allowed to tell you... The consultant is quite sure that we're having a girl and a boy!

@TinyPaws it's perfectly normal to be scared about the tests at the 12 week scan, especially after loss. I was petrified and had nightmares every night that something was wrong, but the tests showed I had nothing to worry about. I'm sure you and baby wil be okay. Your partner smoking is not okay, however, even though it's her choice to do so. Can you encourage her to ditch the fags asap? I hope you guys can get through this rough patch.

@sadtoday21 I know what you mean about feeling movements, or lack of. I'm 16+3 and felt a tiny flutter this morning which could very easily have been gas. Nothing since though, and sorry for the TMI but I'm very gassy at the mo so it wouldn't surprise me. Hope you feel something more definite very soon, but try not to panic if you don't.

Congratulations on your test results @Catconfusion, that's fantastic!

@Navy123 don't worry - it would annoy me too 😂