Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Nipt just stands for prenatal testing. Within that category you can get serenity, harmony, pre natal safe etc. There's more and more coming on to the market now as its been around for lonsger

Non invasive prenatal testing.. Sorry

@Dimblebimble @InDreamland @Mistymeow I'm so delighted to see all your lovely scan photos! Something so magical about them. I hope
you're all feeling somewhat more reassured.

@strawberrye your midwife sounds lovely! How nice to let you listen, it makes such a difference.

@janey15 glad you're feeling better but sorry to hear about work stress/arguments. I expect the build up to your scan isn't helping either, roll on Monday!

Sorry if I've missed anyone, just trying to catch up on thread but had to say congrats on all the scans! Just plodding along in early pregnancy anxiety here. Made it to 5 weeks and cb digi has gone up to 3+ so my worries are less about cp and more that I'll have another MMC at 8+ (having had two before, despite seeing heartbeat at 7/8 weeks both times). No point having an early scan as it won't help my anxiety so decided to book a scan for around 10 weeks and if that's ok I'll start believing it. Only another five weeks....

@InDreamland I'm just too impatient. I just need to know, but led by my partner who likes to know. I guess if I get that far I'll still be surprised at the birth with how little one looks etc.

I'm paying 150 I think it is for an extra anomaly with a private company. A very good consultant works one day a week with a private company fairly close to where I live and I trust her implicitly. She just happened to do my scan and cvs when I got referred to my nearest fetal medicine centre with my last baby. I'll always remember i thought it was the end of the road for me and at the time I never wanted to let a penis near me again. Her parting words were I hope you don't stop trying. Bless her!

@SunshineCrocodile I think those early days are so hard. Time is definitely slower during the first trimester, and it's so difficult to get the constant worry out of your head. We all empathise.

Yay @Indreamland I knew those fart like pops would be movements. That's how it started for me and I too thought it was wind until the movements got more noticeable. I think you're having a boy btw.

I've missed so much over the past week! I have been keeping up just haven't had time to post in a while.

Congratulations on your great scans @InDreamland, @Dimblebimble, @TinyPaws, @ChikiTIKI, @Kayjay2018, @strawberrye, @sadtoday21 and @Mistymeow. Sorry if I've missed anyone!

So sorry to hear about your dog @Squiff70 :( I hope you're doing ok x

I'm now 28+3 so officially third trimester! I never thought I'd get this far. Hopefully this trimester will go by a bit faster than the first two!

Congratulations @InDreamland - hopefully you can relax a little bit now knowing you've got over this milestone xx

@SunshineCrocodile thank you. First trimester is definitely really hard, I felt like it was going to be the longest pregnancy in the history of all pregnancies. Every little thing makes you think it's game over even if everything is okay. I think twice I declared myself out and stayed also on the TTC thread. Fx that you have an uneventful first trimester! If you get worried definitely post here, I really couldn't have got to this point without being sectioned if it wasn't for all the support on here.

@rubyroot that is really good I think for a private 20w scan. Pretty sure the prices I've seen in and around London are way more than that and great that it's with someone you totally trust and comfortable with. So what makes you think it's a boy? FWIW I am convinced it's a boy too, only because Bubsy didn't behave at the 12w NHS scan and I am sure gave the finger too so it has to be a boy right?

@Beaglemum93 wow 3rd trimester!!!!! How does it feel? How much baby stuff have you bought?

Thanks @Frillyfarmer I am so happy and relieved to have achieved this milestone, well Bubsy has anyway. Have already set the next one which is to get to viable stage at 24 weeks. It never ends does it?

@InDreamland I think boys are rude at their 20w scans, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know so he decided to uncross his legs (he was sitting buddha style) and give us a full frontal so we couldn't help but see.

@InDreamland, the third trimester has been much like the second so far (saying that I'm only 5 days in). I've bought most of the big items now, just waiting on the nursery furniture to arrive on Monday but we already have the bedside crib, pram and carseat. I get paranoid I've jinxed things every time I buy stuff though.

I've just had my 28 week midwife appointment. I'm borderline anaemic so now I have to take iron tablets. She reckons he's breech currently too but there's still plenty of time for him to move. It was lovely hearing his heartbeat again. I've been avoiding using my doppler recently because I'm trying to follow NHS advice and count kicks instead.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Yay to the third trimester @Beaglemum93! Exciting that you have bought most of your bits, but understand the jinxing things as I still worry. How are you finding things physically at this stage? I am 27 weeks on Saturday and am feeling like the second trimester honeymoon stage is OVER. I feel like pregnancy is very real now! All that is left from here is heartburn, pregnancy insomnia and waddling!!

I understand the reason for waiting for your scan @SunshineCrocodile. In my MC baby passed away after we saw a heartbeat (but was measuring small) so I understand it doesn’t always bring reassurance. The only reason I had such early scans this time was to check it wasn’t another ectopic. Anyway, good news about the CB digital. I hope the next few weeks pass quickly for you, the first trimester is certainly the slowest xxx

@Dimblebimble agree with @rubyroot – the Harmony is just a brand name for the NIPT. There are many others and they are all just as effective and reliable.

I loved the Fetal Medicine Centre @ Kayjay2018 I also had an 18 week early anomaly scan there and she was soooo thorough. I felt like I was in good hands in that place. My husband was most impressed with the hand towels and marble floor!

Great news about hearing the heartbeat and reaching 16 weeks @strawberrye!

Hope you feel better soon @squiff70! If it’s that cold that’s been doing the rounds, its bloody horrible. I haven’t felt so rough in ages! Horrible when you can’t take any of the good meds either! Hope it passes quickly for you and until then, get lots of rest xxx

I am OK, just feel like time is dragging. Also keep having moments of panic and sadness – I keep worrying that it will never be just me and DD again and her little world is about to change. I know it will ultimately be for the better, but it catches me and I feel so sad and worried for her. Its ridiculous – I have spent a year crying because she will have no siblings and now I’m worrying about her having one! Anyone expecting their second or with more than one feel/felt this way? I need to get grip!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue ooh, I'll have to watch out for the handtowels and flooring . I'm not sure that I'll book any more with them, because of my antibodies I will be having weekly fetal heart scans to check I'm not damaging him/her so this one will be pretty well photographed.

This little one will be my second, my DS will be 16 if this one arrives in May, so not sure how he will feel about that, especially as it's slap bang in GCSE season (bad planning on my part). I hope he isn't too put out, he has a younger half sister on his dad's side and he is good with her. This might be different as it's always been me and him and he spends more time with me than his dad. I think it's natural to worry no matter what age, think it's part and parcel of being a parent, they types of worry just change as they grow!

@Kayjay2018 it is like they know you're watching and have to do something.

@Beaglemum93 I feel you on the jinxing things. We've not bought anything and I have no intention of getting anything until new year (is that too late? Bubsy due mid-Feb). Also SIL wants to give us some of her baby stuff as she has 3 (youngest still pre-school but old enough to run around now). Hearing the heartbeat is so special, I loved hearing it yesterday. When you count kicks do you literally count up the number every day and note it down? Like keep a tally?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue eeaaakkkk you're so close to 3rd trimester! Have you signed up for local NCT/antenatal classes? Midwife and a few other people have tried to convince me to do them to meet other local expectant mums at similar stage to me. I'm just not sure, are they worth it? I was going to just sign up to my local NHS Trust 1 day course run at the weekend so it's more convenient for me. I don't know what to do now. Midwife also recommended a hypnobirthing course. Any advice or opinions?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I haven't had much heartburn yet (touch wood) or insomnia (I'm actually exhausted all the time, probably the low iron to be fair) but I've got a sore back when I'm on my feet for too long and I haven't been able to make it through the night without having to get up to pee in I don't even know how long. My balance seems to be really off too. I still don't feel pregnant particularly but I'm also starting to struggle to tie my shoes and shaving my legs has become a real chore haha.

@InDreamland I've just been using the app "Kicks Count" that was advertised in the hospital to essentially keep a tally of how many kick sessions (not exact number of kicks). I don't really need it though because I know what is normal and when they're reduced.

Thank you @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - it really is astinker of a cold. I can't even smell Vicks whatsoever and eating/drinking/breathing is totally exhausting!

I remember you from the TTC thread, devstated as each month passed without a BFP (understandable so, and just like the ret of us were) and now look at you! Your daughter will be FINE with her baby brother, trust me. Children adapt to change better than we often give them credit for. Yes, her life will change a little bit but her mummy and daddy still love her as much as they always have done. That love won't go away, you'll grow new love for your new baby. Yes, her routine may have to change to accommodate her brother a little bit but they will grow up together to have a very close bond, I don't doubt it for a second. She will be fine, and so will you :)

@Beaglemum93 oh gosh, yes to the shoes and balance! I feel like a weeble 😂

@InDreamland I'm not bothering with NCT as feel I've got quite a nice range of mum friends and two of my close friends are also due around Christmas so we can meet up/support each other. I didn't do NCT with DD but did the Daisy Birthing classes. They were good for being informed about birth and labour and definitely helped me with some tips for handling labour (which went out of the window when I was put on the drip!) I met most of my mum friends through classes and groups when she arrived (baby massage, baby sensory, swimming etc). Sadly I have lost a few of those as I couldn't cope with them having their second when I was having my losses, but otherwise would have kept in touch. Totally my issue and instigating. TBH I feel this time around I am less about making mum friends and getting out and about, and more about doing whatever I need to cope with two! 😂

THANK YOU @Squiff70. Really means a lot.
I hope your cold buggers off quickly. How many weeks are you now? Am I right in thinking you want to get to 20 as your next milestone/"safe point"? xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Sorry about the typos in my last reply! I am always too scared to check my post before hitting 'post message' as I so often manage to delete the lot!

I'm 15+4 today (16 weeks on Sunday). I lost our twins at 19 weeks so anything past that would be a major bonus. I may start to relax slightly after 20 weeks but very much taking things one day at a time for now. We haven't bought anything yet per se but picked up our Bounty and Emma's Diary packs today. The Bounty pack is brill but for anyone who hsn't got theirs yet, get it from Asda, NOT Boots - you get loads more including a full size pack of Asda newborn nappies, a George baby vest and some other freebies too. They let my partner redeem a pack from the Bounty app too so we got two packs of nappies and matching vests for the twins :D

@Beaglemum93 thanks for letting me know about the app. Noted for hopefully when I get to that stage.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you so much for helping me with making up my mind. I was made to doubt my decision on what to do and not do. Think I'll carry on with my intended plan and then if I decide I want to meet local mums if and when Bubsy arrives I can join those type of groups you describe.

@Squiff70 can't believe you're almost 16w now, not long until you hit 20w although I know it will feel like a lifetime. I'm staying clear of Emma's Diary after the grief I went through getting myself removed from their list after mc#1. Didn't know about bounty packs, will look into that.

I went to the NHS classes just to shut my midwife up! They weren't really informative to be honest and everyone was in couples so didn't really talk. The nct classes are longer and I think people join with the aim of making friends. My friend still meets up with her nct group. I didn't really feel the need for a new group of friends though. I've got some friends with toddlers etc and see them as and when but didn't really get lonely when I had my first. It's totally up to you and about what you want out of it.
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I have different worries, I can't imagine how I could love this one as much as my first born as he's so cute and squishy and lovely and amazing! I'm so in love! 😍 It's going to be weird having another!

Got my screening results today. The letter just said low risk so I called up and was told chance of downs syndrome is 1 in 190. I didn't think that to be a very low chance! I know in reality it's 0.5% however the cutoff for high risk is 1 in 150.

Wondering if I should call back and ask what made it show up this high? By bmi is low side of normal range, I am 29. The nuchal measurement was in the normal range, htink it was 2.5mm although the scan was done at nearly 13 weeks I think.

So I am assuming something was wrong with the hormone test? :(

What would you do in my situation? Harmony test?

Omg @rubyroot I have that worry too! I just love DD so so much, it's crazy to think I could love anyone else like that! But we will! Double the love and double the worry!!

@ChikiTIKI big hugs lovely. I can understand your concerns and if I'm honest that result would worry me to. The likelihood is that all is fine - as you say the percentage chance of your baby having downs is low. You are 189 times more likely to not have a baby with downs. But if you think you cant relax until you get some clarity, I would do a NIPT test such as Harmony. If anything just to put your mind at rest xxx

@ChikiTIKI sorry you are worried about the results, but those are still low risk! Most likely everything will be fine and I’m sure harmony would tell you the same. I think the nuchcal measurement is a bit on the high side tbh and that could be skewing results, more than the bloods. But it’s still great odds and you will be fine! Sending you hugs 🤗