Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Hey lovely ladies, 12 week scan went very well. Baby is doing brilliantly. We're so relieved! All measurements were normal. Now to wait for the combined test results. Xx

@ChikiTIKI if I'm honest I would be requesting the harmony test for piece of mind. Your result is technically low risk but seems high for someone so young. I'm 40 but anything under 200 I would want the harmony. It probably is a combination of the neck measurement being on the higher side of normal and the hormone levels. Both of which can mean a normal pregnancy.

Try not to worry as chances are it will be fine. You can even find out the gender with the harmony at a private clinic so might be nice anyway to know now if you want to. Good luck! Xx

I checked and the neck measurement was actually 1.8mm.

Its the hormones making it a higher chance. HCGa was 3.56 and PAPP-A was 0.57. Both should be around 1.0.

@ChikiTIKI 1.8mm is very average and to be honest I think this is the biggest indicator as opposed to the hormones.
Try not to worry. My friend had 1 on 80 I think based on hormone levels too. The NHS test is not very accurate. Do get a Nipt test for peace of mind if you feel the need. My friend wasn't going to bother, but I think she was happy when hers came back low risk and so relieved.
Try not to worry its still low risk and the nuchal sounds really good.

@Catconfusion congrats that's an amazing scan... Love the lil foot. My 12 week one was pretty crap as my little one wouldn't stop moving! In fact it said that there was poor visibility which did get me worried, but they reassured me everything was okay and got to see all the main organs etc.

@ChikiTIKI sorry you're worried about your results. It is such a small chance but I would probably worry too. If it were me I would probably have the harmony for peace of mind but it isn't necessary. As you said, the cut off for high risk is 1 in 150 and the NHS doesn't think it needs any further investigation because it's so unlikely. How do you know your blood test results? I was never told mine, I just got a letter saying the risk was low and the chances.

Great news @Catconfusion!

Great scan @Catconfusion! Another milestone checked off! Fingers crossed for the results!

I'm m sure it's fine @ChikiTIKI and it's good they said it's the hormone levels. I just know of that was me I would stress over it and have the Harmony but that's because I'm such a negative nancy! If this has eased your mind then there is no need to spend any money on further testing!

Btw you don't have to have the harmony it can be any nipt test. I had the prenatal safe and test was Tuesday morn and I had results back the Friday morn. Was great not having to wait too long. I'm not sure how long the harmony takes.

@ChikiTIKI sorry your results have got you worrying. To be honest I'll be having NIPT this time no matter what, because I just know how much I'll worry no matter what the result! I reckon a few hundred quid vs 6 months of worry is worth it even though I don't just have the cash lying around! Logically you are of course low risk and I hope the knowledge that it's not the nuchal measurement that has skewed results has reasssured you a bit.

@Catconfusion congratulations, that's a lovely scan pic and great news.

All the positive scans on this thread are really helping me feel a bit more hopeful

Re NCT, our classes weren't helpful re birth as the teacher actually deferred to me on everything once she found out what my job was! I'm only in touch with one mum still, we never really gelled as a group (they were all older and much richer than us for a start so I was priced out of their social events fairly early on!) but they also all lived quite far away from where the class was held. 40 mins drive is quite a way to lug newborn twins so the meet ups petered out quite quickly. Just my experience though, I have another friend who has got an amazing support network of fab mum friends from Nct.

I don't know what to do 😞 my sister is a doctor and doesn't think the results are anything to worry about. She thinks the neck measurement is the most useful thing and that is in the normal range. Apparently the limited evidence that hormones might have impact on outcomes comes from a study but that study showed DS only more likely when scan abnormality found AND the PAPP-A hormone was under 5th percentile, of which I have neither of those factors. I might just see how I feel over the weekend... I worked from home today (car was having its MOT) and really struggled to concentrate in the afternoon when I was waiting for a call back from the hospital. Might have to work over the weekend to catch up 😔

I called up to grt the hormone results. The letter only said "low chance" and didn't even give the actual chances. Felt like a bit of an insult to my intelligence honestly. I called up first time to get the actual odds and was quite shocked about the DS chances so later called up to ask more. They didn't get what I was asking for at first... Twice the woman said "do you want me to go through the chances again". And "I have already told you the chances" when I asked for the blood test results. I. The end I had to say "I had blood tests taken to test for some hormone levels.. Can you tell me the numbers in the results?" this is the team that specifically deals with screening test results. I was. Frustrated almost to the point of tears... I even had to say "my bmi is low, I am not old, something must be out of the normal range to get this result". They seemed confused about why I was calling. I explained when I had DD the chance of DS came back as 1 in 10,000 and she said "yes this is significantly higher risk.... Have you thought about what you want to do about it?" I didn't know what to say...... 😐 I haven't and won't be given any options on what to do about it by the NHS.

Sorry for the rant. I'm not going to read it back as my phone changes everying I type to a load of non-words and it will just annoy me! Hopefully it makes sense.

@ChikiTIKI I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone so unhelpful. I struggle as well with healthcare receptionists and professionals sometimes. Today we met our consultant and it was like blood out of a stone getting our Nuchal measurement. In the end I just glanced at my notes as she just kept saying it's normal. Of course I wanted to know how normal. I guess they get so used to the general public not understanding or being interested in the precise measurements and levels. As we know though, these are important when looking at risk factors.

It sounds to me like it's highly unlikely you will have an issue. I think though I would still have the harmony to make absolutely sure. I think it's a shame this isn't available on the nhs as it does seem much more accurate. Of course it won't give you a definite answer but it will look specifically at the baby's dna rather than the hormones which can be misleading.

Try not to worry. I know it's very hard. It sounds like the scan went really well which is so encouraging. This period of uncertainty will pass and you will hopefully begin to enjoy your pregnancy. Xx

@ChikiTIKI i agree with your sister. The nt measurement is the main thing and yours sounds definitely average. Mine was 5.8 when I had my termination which was later diagnosed as t21.
I really think the NHS test is a load of crap, it's up to you, if it's going to worry you it probably is worth forking out the 400 for a nipt test so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without having any doubts. However, if you feel that your mind has been put at rest then you can accept the fact that you're low risk and also enjoy your pregnancy. It is a low risk resultbajd I know many people who have had a similar result or a higher risk result and babies have been fine.

Gosh @ChikiTIKI how worrying and how frustrating that the NHS staff have been so unhelpful. I think given your result, I would want to have the harmony for more peace of mind now. My friend had just received borderline high/low risk and her NHS trust offered her the amnio which she's taken - it's so odd how the trust she is under seem so geared up to reassure expectant mothers wherever they can and others like yours are so backwards in being helpful!

X

Also @ChikiTIKI I echo what @rubyroot said. My Harmony results were back in a week but you don't have to have the Harmony, any NIPT will provide the reassurance you're looking for.The Harmony is just one brand name of NPIT - they all do the same thing.

@Frillyfarmer it's strange isn't it how some areas are pretty blasé about the testing. I guess they probably don't see the three trisomys every day.

With my consultant yesterday it was a nightmare just trying to get information about the screening. She just kept saying baby is doing very well and not to worry. Of course at 40 I am worried. Our nuchal fold was only 1.6 so very good score however we want to be pretty sure.

@rubyroot I agree that the nhs combined test is a bit rubbish. I think I'll trust it if we do come out low risk but if there's any doubt we'll have the NIPT. We've been told it's £200 at our hospital with a subsidy if we're high risk. I guess if we're borderline it'll be full price as they probably won't help if they deem us a lower risk. I just think it's crazy that couples have to go through all this uncertainty. The NIPT has been around for a while now so should be offered on the nhs! Xx

@Catconfusion I really hope for future pregnant ladies that NIPT is rolled out by the NHS sooner rather than later for all patients. My friend wasn't offered NIPT but because she's high risk they offered the amnio, which is absolutely accurate but invasive and not without risk (and bloody painful looking at the size of the needle!) they have to grow the chromosomes in lab conditions for the two weeks following the amnio so she is in the most awful limbo waiting for her results to come through- honestly I don't know how she's keeping it all together.

Hopefully your results come back low to reassure you, but I do think based on what I've read the combined test is unrealistically skewed by age so causes unnecessary stress. If that's the case I think it's worth £400/500 for the NIPT but again annoying it is an expense you have to bear.

19+1 here today, feeling the occasional flick and bubble most days now but no consistent pattern as yet. I've already been asked when I'm due a couple of times, and their reaction when I say I'm only halfway through confirm I must look massive. I carried my little boy all out in front and I was big with him. I struggled all of my adult life with eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with my body image so for me the hardest bit of pregnancy are the comments on my size. Nicer problems to have though I know, considering the journey I've had to get to this point 💞

@Frillyfarmer I carried DD all out front and am the same again too! I'm a size 14 anyway but it's like a football stuck on me and huge! I am also getting the disbelief when I say I'm due early Jan. I know ladies on here have worried about having a small bump but I understand it's hard having a big one too, and that's without any issues with size or food. Ignore the rude comments (I know it's hard), everyone is different and your body is doing a great job of growing this little girl xxx

I absolutely loved my massive bump last time, it was lovely and prominent and round. Be proud of your bumps ladies. But then I didn't put on weight anywhere else at all. I was all bump!
I didn't mind being called big as most comments soecifically related to my bump. Though I didn't appreciate the beached whale comment from the mil when I came back from holiday after 4 weeks away at 24 weeks
Think she likes making bitter comments and I think she was fat all over during her pregnancy. Still no excuse tho

I completely agree @Frillyfarmer it's rubbish. Your poor friend! I don't think I could go through an amnio. As you say at least she'll know and if her hospital has a good safety record with them it's probably very low risk.

Our hospital subsidises the NIPT by £200 with a high risk result on the combined so we will take them up on that if we have to. If it's borderline we'll pay the full price.

Great you're starting to feel movements. I'm sure you'll notice a pattern soon! Xx

Hi everyone, sorry for the selfish post, but I'm feeling terrible and can't stand scrolling through everyone's posts on my phone!
I've been feeling loads better this week and have been reducing the antisickness tablets to once or twice a day. We went out last night for a meal with friends then to a music thing where I stood for a couple of hours sipping water then drove home by about 11.30pm. This morning I can barely get out of bed. Feeling very sick, retching, exhausted and dizzy/thick-headed. Is this just tiredness?
I'm 12+2 and have my scan on Monday which I'm trying not to think about. I've been quite stressed at work this week and also have a referral to the breast screening clinic to add to my list of worries!
Please help me get things in perspective before I lose the plot! Xxx

I'm all at the front too @rubyroot. My husband said to me last night "you don't even look pregnant from behind, but from the front your enormous!" 😂

@janey15 I did not have sickness anyway as bad as yours, it was just a constant a
queasy feeling and sick sometimes, but it was definitely worse if I was tired. I hope you can rest up today and tomorrow? Look after yourself and things will feel more manageable when you aren't feeling so unwell xxx

I'm so sorry @janey15 you're feeling this way. I'm still struggling at 12 plus 6. I find it's much worse if I've exerted myself or got stressed. Hopefully it will pass. Just rest up today if you can and you should feel loads better tomorrow.

Good luck with your scan on Monday and I hope the screening clinic goes well too. Xx

Had scn today and although I'm suppose to be 16 weeks, both head and legs measuring 16 weeks 4. Trying not to over think this or worry. I know its stupid right?!

@rubyroot don't worry about the dates on private scans after the dating scan, the nhs would just say the baby is measuring at the 60th percentile for example. Babys are all different sizes when they're born and grow at different rates.