Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Thanks @InDreamland @rubyroot @strawberrye @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue

Everything went well at the scan. Baby measuring 9 weeks 5 which is spot on with my dates, but a tiny bit (2 days) behind the earlier scan. She did say it was quite curled up so it might be bigger if it stretched out. Baby was wiggling and we could see the nose and legs.

So happy that everything seems to be going okay, keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way!

Good luck for today @InDreamland

@Dimblebimble I'm so happy for you and what a lovely scan picture of your little one! Have you passed one of your own milestones now? My last milestone was 7 weeks, now need to get to my scan and harmony test in 2 weeks time, then results and nuchal scan two weeks after that.
@InDreamland thinking of you today getting ready for your scan, I hope all goes well for you.

Arh @Dimblebimble so happy for you. What a beautiful scan picture! Congratulations. Xx

Thank you @Catconfusion :)

@Kayjay2018 Yes, the main milestone for us was 8 weeks as that's when my other pregnancies have stopped developing. So I'm starting to feel more hopeful now that we've passed that. Once we pass the 12 week scan I will feel much more relaxed. I need to look into tests now, which I didn't want to do until we passed 10 weeks. I'm trying to take it one step at a time, to avoid getting ahead of myself. The midwife said they do the nhs testing at the 12 week scan and we should hear within a week if there are any issues, so I need to look into the advantages of the harmony test. If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to have it? X

Congratulations @Dimblebimble.

@Dimblebimble what made me decide to do it is primarily my age (38) and DH is (52), plus personally I would rather know likelihood of an issue before 12 weeks and announcing this baby to the world. When I had my son many years ago I only had the nuchal scan, I think now I've had a MC my view of pregnancy is tainted and I'm more aware than I was back then. I was recommended to the fetal medicine centre in Harley street, they do a package of 10 week scan, harmony test, results session and nuchal scan for £400, plus if it shows potential issue they offer further testing at no extra cost.
Anyway I have to get to 10 weeks which is still a few weeks away, currently working from home as having a bit of spotting (not pink or red just coloured a bit) which has freaked me out. I would have been due AF this week and know I have some bruising around where little one has tucked itself in, so scan lady said I might get some and not to worry, but I can't help it

Yes @Dimblebimble!! Great news! I also did the Harmony at the Fetal Medicine Center, for similar reasons to @Kayjay2018. Totally agree that my MC and ectopic tainted my views of pregnancy. I am 37 (had DD at 34) and I know age effects the NHS results. I didn't want any additional stress or anxiety caused by a potentially high result. I also wanted to know of any issues sooner rather than later, taking the view that I could deal with it (in whatever way that may be) rather than having to wait until the pregnancy had progressed. I would thoroughly recommend the Fetal Medicine Center package done at 10 weeks. You get Harmony results, two scans (one nuchal) and the combined test results you would get from the NHS. You can still have the NHS 12 week scan but I declined all their genetic/blood tests. Fetal Medicine Center were super lovely and kind when I cried on them before both my scans due to anxiety!

@Dimblebimble lovely scan and excellent news.

Regarding the harmony scan, I'm not sure what the pros of this are against the other tests and I'm not sure why everyone goes for this one. I had the prenatal safe. Cost 400, had the test at 10 weeks 2 on Tuesday morn and had resukts back on the Friday morn which was a massive relief as I didn't have to brew on it over the weekend.

@Dimblebimble I had it because I had a tfmr at 13.5 weeks after baby had been diagnosed with hydrops and on the day of my termination we got results of cvs which was t21. So I wanted to know sooner than later. Suffice to say I didn't get the nipt even though I was 40 as I'd had low risk NHS results with previous successful pregnancy and a healthy baby. I guess I didn't think it would happen to me, despite previous loss. I wouldn't bother though really unless you're 35 or over

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's great to hear you had a positive experience with the fetal medicine centre, I'm really nervous and still don't really believe I'll make it to the appointment. It means a trip to London so booked a day off for the first one and managed to book a weekend appointment for the results and nuchal scan, I'll have had the nhs nuchal one a couple of days before I get the results (couldn't make it work any other way). If little one hangs in there we will see them 3 times in a couple of weeks, then 4 week wait till extra scans kick in to check his/her heart

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @strawberrye @rubyroot @Dimblebimble @Kayjay2018 thank you.

Thankfully all went well with our scan. Bubsy still alive and sonographer said all looks normal. I am so relieved. Can't believe we have got to 20+1 and things are looking okay so far. Seeing midwife in 2 weeks for a reassurance appointment to listen in on doppler. I need to get my 25 week appointment in with my GP now. I still don't want to look at the sex in the sealed envelope. Maybe if we get to 24 or 25 weeks. Thank you all for putting up with all my anxiety recently! You ladies are fantastic!

Here's our little baby ❤

Congratulations @InDreamland wonderful news.

@Dimblebimble fantastic news on your scan! Like @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and what @Kayjay2018 reasons are I had the Harmony test package at the fetal medicine centre, after 2 mc's and my age (39) I wanted to know risks as soon as possible and also Harmony is more accurate than the NHS combined test. Great experience there and would highly recommend them.

@janey15 glad the nausea has eased. I don't really get achey. Have had calf cramps in the middle of the night. The achey boobs eased off at start of second trimester. I've had some mild lower back ache when I've been on my feet too long.

@Bluebelltulip thank you.

YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS @InDreamland!!!! Been waiting for your update and just did a little tear for you and your beautiful Bubsy!! This is a real milestone and I hope you relax and feel the joy for today at least! Bloody chuffed for you xxx

@InDreamland that is one very cute baby scan, look at that face! I'm so please for you and I totally understand the nerves, I know mine will continue past 12 weeks (should we make it that far). I don't even know you and your message and scan has put a big smile on my face!

YES! @dimblebimble @InDreamland I have been checking back all morning for your updates and so so pleased to hear that both scans have gone very well. Brilliant news, and that step closer to your rainbow babies!

I had my 16 week midwife appointment today which went well. I really like my midwife, she takes time to listen to my anxieties and answer my questions. She used the Doppler to listen in to the heartbeat (although said its not meant to be offered at 16 weeks any more) and found the heartbeat straight away, let me listen for a little while which was lovely. She also helped my anxieties about the 20 week scan when she shared her experience of how rare it is to get bad news at this scan. Positive pants well and truly in place today

So happy for you @InDreamland and Dimblebimble! Lovely scan pics too!

Sorry I haven't been in touch - I've got a really nasty cold and just trying to breathe is wiping me out. Anyone else got the dreaded lurgy?

Excellent @Indreamland hopefully you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy now. Are you scared of knowing the sex in case you get too attached? 20 weeks is a massive milestone. Of course things can go wrong, you know with childbirth etc, but that risk is as low for you now as anyone else. All development and organs appear normal and there's so much they can see on the anomaly scans. I'm having two tho btw, as I did last time. I'm having one with this brilliant consultant who specialises in fetal abnormalities and then one with the NHS. She also amazingly managed to make me feel super reassuured last time donuts worth the pennies

Beautiful scan @InDreamland congratulations! Xx

Thanks @Squiff70 @strawberrye @rubyroot @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Bluebelltulip @Catconfusion @Kayjay2018 😊

Thanks for sharing your reasons for choosing the harmony test @InDreamland @rubyroot @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Kayjay2018. I am 29, almost 30, so I guess age is less of a factor, so the main motivation for me would be to find out sooner and more reliable results. I'm not in London and it's a few hours on train. Looked locally but when I search harmony test a lot of the ones only say NIPT on the webpage, not harmony. Need to do some more googling...

Congratulations @InDreamland, so glad everything is going well! It's so hard to relax after a loss. I'm paranoid before every scan but my husband always says worrying doesn't achieve anything. I've promised that after the 12 week scan I'll try to relax.

Thank you all so much for your lovely posts. You have no idea how much I appreciate all your support, don't know how I'd have got this far without going mad without you all. The relief really is immense at this stage ......next milestone I think is reaching 24 weeks when Bubsy is then considered "viable".

So I think the strange feelings I've been having which I'd eventually dismissed as wind or thought it was a sign something was wrong is actually the start of feeling movements. Let's hope in the next week the feelings get stronger. I've had quite a few pops today.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how have you been finding the commute this week? Hope it's been better for you.

@Kayjay2018 the nerves are so normal, especially when pregnant after loss. This is definitely great safe space though to share those feelings.

@strawberrye great news on hearing the HB today. It's so beautiful to hear isn't it. The sonographer let us hear HB today too and it's just an amazing feeling.

@Squiff70 hope that cold goes soon! Being unwell on top of pregnancy is so miserable.

@rubyroot I think being scared of getting too attached is part of not wanting to find out but there is also a part of me that does like the idea of having a surprise. DH I think is trying to hide his desperation to know but the fact he keeps bringing it up is a dead giveaway. Is your non-NHS one going to be private? Or referred from NHS?

@Dimblebimble I think I've read NIPT is just like Harmony but different brand but don't quote me on that. Definitely look into it if you want the extra reassurance. I'm so glad we did it. Don't worry about being paranoid before scans, even some ladies who haven't experienced what we have get nervous.

@Dimblebimble there's no need to get the harmony specifically. The umbrella term for all the tests is nipt. Any nipt is usually very accurate. I think everyone goes on about harmony as it was one of the original and is just a trade mark. I had the prenatal safe. In fact I looked it up and its actually more accurate than the harmony 99.9 percent over 99% well that's what the websites say anyway. I'm not sure if there's any advantages that the harmony may have over the prenatal safe. But there's other ones too and I think they're pretty similar. It's like buying Nike trainers or Puma