Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Thank you for all the supportive posts on my scanxiety ladies. I'm still super worried here. Still not take had any movements, all the feelings I've had in the tiny area I think has just been wind or muscles twitching. 20 weeks tomorrow and worried I've not had any clear moments yet.

@Squiff70 I hope the bruising has gone down now.

@rubyroot I hope the movements come back soon.

@Mistymeow great news on the results! Lovely scan photos.

@InDreamland I didn't have any movements at all with DS until 25 weeks, and I think NHS day first time mums should feel them from 24 weeks so I wouldn't panic about that. Your scan is just a day away now and hopefully baby is doing well in there and everything is as it should be. The 20 week scan is my next big hurdle as well, although I don't have it until 21 weeks 😩 so another 2.5 weeks to wait! Will you find out what you're having if everything is well at the scan? I know you already have your envelope, but didn't think you'd opened it yet? X

@Frillyfarmer that's a long time to wait (in our world). Hope it passes quickly for you. Can't believe today I am officially half way through. So anxious for tomorrow. I keep feeling a tiny but of mild but not painful pressure down there and worried it may be the start of something sinister. This is the furthest I've been so now all new to me. DH wants to know, he wanted to open the envelope a few weeks ago. I'm still undecided. I won't be asking them tomorrow and if they offer I'll politely decline. Right now all I want is a healthy baby. I tried talking to Bubsy last night as they say they should be able to hear now but all I could think was what if the worst has already happened.

@Indreamland good luck for tomorrow. All will be fine. I imagine the anxiety before will be extremely high, I've given myself the shits before all my scans!

I never spoke to mine in my last successful pregnancy. The midwife was going on about it, but I just felt weirded out. The way I saw it was they'd hear my voice all day any way and it just felt odd talking to my belly. I know of course lots of mums like tk talk to their baby. It annoyed me that the midwife kept on putting pressure for me to talk to him, I don't think there's actuly much evidence that talking to them has any impact.

Thanks @rubyroot I have convinced myself today all has gone wrong and that I'm leaking amniotic fluid. Maybe it's sweat but convinced it's the worst. Have to admit I did think it was weird last night but thought I'd give talking to Bubsy a go.

I also thought I was leaking amniotic fluid at one point. Dunno what it was in the end, but wasn't amniotic fluid. It's easy to convince yourself all has gone wrong, not long now and you'll have your reassurance

@InDreamland good luck for tomorrow, you may find it feels less weird talking to your baby once you feel movement.

@rubyroot did it feel warm and damp? Sorry if TMI but I do have a liner on and that feels pretty dry, it's the underside though of my thong and my leggings in crotch area that feel warm and slightly moist. Major worry at the moment. Also kept having feelings in lower abdomen just above pelvic area of like muscle spasms, not painful but they are noticeable, almost like the muscles are lightly vibrating or fluttering like a string being twanged if that makes sense. Forgot to say in my last post that's really poor of your midwife to keep pushing that, I mean medically or as a preparing for baby's arrival it's not essential I don't think.

@Bluebelltulip thank you. I'm so anxious. Don't think I'll sleep tonight. Crazy question but I honestly don't know the answer, do they only hear through your belly? So if I listen to music through headphones would Bubsy hear it?

@InDreamland I think it's only through your belly that they can hear, there is a lot of body noise between your ears and theirs. My DD1 was definitely more familiar with the music I listened to in the car than the music I generally listened to while working with headphones on once she was born. It's amazing what sounds they can react to, DD2 used to move a lot if she heard DD1 laugh whereas so far this baby goes quiet movement wise if DD1 is being noisey.

Thanks @Bluebelltulip in that case I'm going to be playing more of my favourite music out loud in the house if everything is okay tomorrow. Determined Bubsy will like classical, Take That and Backstreet Boys!

@InDreamland my DS loves piano guys and Disney classics and I'm convinced it was all that car music I played!

Desperate to just lie in the bath tonight soaking but paranoid about hot baths still! I've got absolutely wet through doing the horses tonight in all the mud and rain and I just feel like a scarecrow!!

Ahhhh @Frillyfarmer - I seem to have missed that you're having a girl! Super exciting. Am I right in thinking you already have a DS?

@rubyroot I never talked to DD and I'm not talking to this one either. Makes me feel stupid and awkward if I'm honest! DD is a brilliant talker, she spoke early and her vocabulary at almost 3 is expansive. So I am not stressing about it or it's impact!

@InDreamland don't worry about movement, I was 21 weeks when I felt DD and remember being really anxious about it. Then one day I just felt this popping feeling and that was it! I just knew it was her! You will have that moment soon. Also, super restrained on not finding out the sex! But totally get what you're saying about just wanting a healthy baby. What time is your scan tomorrow?

How are you @Bluebelltulip?

Congrats on your results and another one having a girl @Mistymeow!

All OK with me, except I'm EXHAUSTED. Really struggling with insomnia right now, seem to be wide awake for a couple of hours each night, which is not helped by the fact that DD isn't sleeping well. I'm really struggling and feel very foggy. And heavy. Bump is bloody huge. So generally just tired!

Sorry to everyone I've missed! xxx

@InDreamland I just remember a lot of moisture coming out at once. No doubt it was moist and dry as is everything comes out that area. I am currently bent over in pain as my left hand side has just started hurting. No idea what it is, but I've been here before and just have to put all these aches and twinges down to pregnancy pains unless I'm given other reasons to think it's something sinister.
I don't know the pain you describe, but I think there's so much going on in our abdomen area it could be anything. Ligament, stretching, trapped wind etc etc

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels awkward. I was made to feel like I was some hardened insensitive woman not talking to baby. But I had fully bonded with my baby in pregnancy without talking to him

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm tired too, my headache has eased a lot today. DH is busy with work over the next few weeks, which involves some late days and an overnight next week so I'll be on my own with DD quite a bit, hoping the headache doesn't return.

Thank you @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Bluebelltulip @InDreamland @Dimblebimble

@rubyroot I might give it a go, I talk to myself and my cat often enough so I suppose baby may as well join the gang! Odd that the midwife was pushing it on you. It’s up to you how you choose to bond with your bump.
@indreamland I think we all feel the same for the big 20 week scan but remember the odds are in your favour. When I feel scared I visualise my baby being given to me screaming in my arms and it calms me down.
@dimblebimble I’m also short and bloated a lot from 7 weeks- the progesterone is the culprit! However I’m 13 weeks and I do have a small bump so I think if you’re short you tend to show earlier.

@Mistymeow glad it's not just me 😂 with your progesterone, how long do they recommend taking it for? They gave me a 4 week supply at 8 weeks, so will last me until just before the 12 week scan. The midwife mentioned taking it up until 12 weeks, so not sure whether that's all they're planning to give me or not...

@Dimblebimble that sounds about right as by 12 weeks the placenta is up and running so you won’t need the progesterone. I think I’m taking it until 16 weeks (need to check that!) but I’m under Dr Shehata’s rmc and I know he does things differently. I would stick to the midwife’s advice.

@Mistymeow Ah that makes sense. I have a scan at the epu tomorrow so if everything's okay I'll check with them.

@Frillyfarmer you've definitely convinced me to play lots of the music I love out loud at home. I think taking a bath is fine as long as it's not steaming hot.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thanks, I think I am desperate to feel Bubsy as at the moment I have no idea if they're okay or the worst has happened. Scan is booked for 11am. Sorry you're feeling so exhausted, hope the pregnancy insomnia eases and lets you sleep. I keep waking in the middle of the night too.

@rubyroot I hope you're okay! It's scary though isn't it when you get even a little twinge.

@Bluebelltulip glad the headache has eased off.

@Mistymeow that's a good way to ease your anxiety. Wish there was a way for something other than scans and dopplers that work for me.

Good luck for your scan @Dimblebimble

Evening all, I think I've read through all the evenings posts but haven't got the brain power to respond individually- sorry!
I'm feeling better with the nausea so just taking 2 tablets a day while at work. I have actually been sick s couple of times as a result but still much better than constant nausea.
Being back at work is really taking my mind off things but I'm exhausted and feeling quite stressed about workload, feeling unable to catch up after being signed off and problems with a colleague. Normal teacher stuff but it's making me feel a bit tearful at the moment.
Does anyone else get really achey over night? I'm sleeping quite heavily but wake every time I move as I feel like I've seized up! Not sure if it's pregnancy related or because I haven't done pilates since July?!
Also had a row with DH last night. I got proper hormonal and shouted at him! Feeling a wee bit embarrassed and irrationally worried I've harmed baby with my silliness
Good luck to all with scans coming up and I hope you're able to keep reasonably calm. I'll be a mess before mine on Monday 🙈 I really feel invested in all our outcomes and hope we all get our deserved happy endings 💜

Good luck today @Dimblebimble and @InDreamland! Thinking of you both xxx

@InDreamland @dimblebimble good luck today, will be thinking of you today

Thinking of you both today @Indreamland @Dimblebimble. Good luck!