Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Wow this thread moves fast

@janey15 I think parents lose some tact and common sense as they age, I've noticed it more with my mum than dad. A few christmas ago whilst cooking dinner I was told I looked pregnant (I wasn't), when I phone up for a chat it's never positive at the start, one lunchtime I called and she informed me that if they developed dementia they were looking into Dignitas! I only phoned to check they were ok.
@Squiff70 it's so hard with pets, it would be easier if they lived as long as we did. 16 is a great age and what a lovely owner to do what was right for him, even though it made you so sad. How lovely to have three potential options, I get the all girls comment (went to an all girls school), As I have a son I've been outnumbered with boys for years. Good thing is they tend to be mummy's boys.
@strawberrye @Frillyfarmer Congratulations on your little girls @sadtoday21 Congrats on the little boy news. I was never sure if I wanted to find out the sex last time round but my son proceeded to uncross his legs and show us a full frontal so there was no doubt. I found he took on a personality once I knew what I was having. I'm not sure what we will do this time round
@KnitKitty I've never tried ginger beer, so after reading your post I now have a bottle stashed in the cupboard, willing to try anything. DH is wanting me to eat healthily, I'm just trying to eat 😝. He gave me a funny look when I scoffed 2 packs of frazzles!

@SunshineCrocodile Thank you, I'm taking it one day at a time. How far along are you now?
@rubyroot I agree that boys are great, sadly as mine is almost 16 years old I have absolutely nothing left over. Plus this one is with a new partner so getting newer stuff starts everything with a clean slate. Oh and can vouch for boys reaching an age when they start looking out for their mums, mine is now taller than me (and I'm 5ft10), so any hugs are more him hugging me if that makes sense.

Think I will sleep better tonight, last night I was a bit nervous. Next midwife is at 10 weeks and my nuchal scan is scheduled for Halloween! I'm going to look into the Harmony test, sonographer today was of the opinion to wait for 12 week scan but I think I would rather know any issues earlier.

@Squiff70 didn't realise you were having twins! I hope it's not out of turn to mention but I have twin dds (DCDA which I assume yours are too) so if I can help with anything please shout out - fwiw that pregnancy was uncomplicated, went to 39 weeks and they're now healthy 5yos. I'm rubbish at guessing, was convinced it would be one of each but no!

@Kayjay2018 I'm a mere 4+3 so only just pregnant really! I'll feel like a fraud until the first scan I think, but nothing will really reassure me until I'm past 10 weeks at least. I'll be getting the Harmony too I think.

Thank you @sadtoday21 I sort of thought I'd be less anxious but the last mc knocked me for six again. I guess once it's happened the worry just never goes away.

I hope everyone's having a lovely weekend. And now I'm going to bed, at not quite 9pm on a Friday, because I am truly rock'n'roll - and totally exhausted 😂

Hi @SunshineCrocodile. Yes, my twins are DCDA. Apparently 2/3 of DCDA twins are different sexes. We had twins (sadly born at 19 weeks in January) and had a boy and girl then too. Thank you for the offer of advice - I may well take you up on that! Are they as hard as you imagined?

@KayJay2018 congratulations on your scan.

@strawberrye and @sadtoday21 congratulations on your gender scans.

@frillyfarmer I hope the party goes well.

Thank you for the well wishes, I'm feeling a bit better today. I even did some kind of baby related things, I bought some maternity pads (as I need them whatever happens) and I sorted some of DD's things out to make room for baby bits.

@SunshineCrocodile you obviously are proper rock n roll as it's actually Saturday! Hard to remember when every night is party time 😉

@Kayjay2018 thank you, although I'm not sure my mum ever had much tact to begin with!

Ahaha @janey15 I must have been rocking out too hard in my pjs and slippers to pay attention to the date!

@Squiff70 I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be completely devastating and I can fully understand how anxious you must be now. May I ask if they had names?

It's really interesting that DCDA are usually one of each - I genuinely didn't know that! I guess it ties in with the idea that boys are conceived with speedy sperm and girls are conceived with the stragglers - makes sense if you ovulate at slightly different times from each ovary! So two girls were a one in six chance eh? I feel lucky!

Twins are full on - it can be frustrating trying to cope with two at once when most others in baby groups etc are dealing with one. I totally recommend finding a twins and multiples group where everyone's equally frazzled! But there are so many advantages too - when they're a bit older they keep each other company, can play together and give each other reassurance. Won't lie, the first year or two are pretty tough but it does get easier! Mine are at opposite ends of the spectrum physically and personality wise, but they're such fantastic little individuals.

@Bluebelltulip I'm glad you're feeling better. Small steps!

@SunshineCrocodile don't worry - I'm exactly the same. I've got to go out next Friday and I'm absolutely dreading it 😱

@janey15 @SunshineCrocodile I have the MIL coming next Friday for a whole week!! I don't know how I'm going to hide the constant feeling sick and being sleepy- eek!! I think I'd rather a night out 😝. I'm lucky that she is a great MIL, just it's currently easy to hide this from my son, DH has to put up with my moaning as do the dogs, I don't think she will be easy to fool.

@SunshineCrocodile thanks for the advice! Ii'm expecting a rough ride until they're about four to be honest, lol!

Yes, we did give our son and daughter names, but I've chosen to keep them off MN to protect their identities as well as my own. I hope you understand.

I had a bit of a scare last night. For some stupid, unknown reason I smacked my tummy into the kitchen door handle and instantly was sporting a 3 inch bruise just under my belly button. I'm rhesus neg so I didn't know if I'd need an anti-D injection so I rang the MAU and they said they'd speak to the medical staff and would ring me back either "tonight (last night) or in the morning". Suffice to say I slept with my phone off silent all night and they haven't called me. I'm not sure what to do.

I don't really know much about this but a 3 inch bruise sounds quite a big bruise and it sounds like they could give you the jab as a precaution. It's a bit shit they haven't rung you back. I would call again and try and get an injection. Don't let them fob you off. I'm sure it's only as a precaution.

@Squiff70 found this thread. Don't know if it'll be helpful or not.. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2549334-rhesus-negative-bruised-bump

They rang back just after my last post here and said I won't need the anti-D. Thanks for the link though. The lady who posted it was 35 weeks nd hadalready had an anti-D.

Hope they've got in touch by now @Squiff70 but agree with @rubyroot, you should at least be seen. Speaking as ex-midwife, I would call back and tell them you're coming down to MAC for your anti D. I think they've forgotten to hand over the info at change of shift frankly, which isn't good enough. The risk is small but best to be on the safe side x

Oh and of course, totally understand not sharing names, I don't share my daughters' names on here either. I don't post anything controversial really but don't want anyone I know reading updates about my EWCM either!!

Haha cross posts, I'm glad they got back in touch!

@InDreamland @frillyfarmer @MyHeartIsBroleButIHaveSomeGlue @sadtoday21 @KnitKitty @SunshineCrocodile @Squiff70 @janey15 @Kayjay2018 @Bluebelltulip thank you all for your congratulations, knowing the sex has helped it feel more real and I am daring to feel more excited! Even bought a few things for baby - John Lewis have 20% off nursery things at the moment if anyone is interested. Would have been thrilled either way if it were a girl or a boy, I'm still really happy to have got to the stage in pregnancy where we can find out the sex, at some times over the past 2 years I've really felt that was impossible. I know there's still a long way to go yet including next nerve wracking milestone of 20 week scan but for now I'm going to ride the wave of excitement and positivity :)

@frillyfarmer congratulations on having a girl too! It's funny I had a strong feeling that my baby is a she too. Had a dream the night before the scan that baby was a boy though - so just shows these pregnancy dreams aren't premonitions! Sorry you're suffering with PGP, sounds miserable. Have you thought about physio to help? Hope your little ones party went well!

@sadtoday21 congratulations on your boy! I think boys and girls are both wonderful and the main thing is a healthy baby. Plus I totally don't subscribe to the it's a pink one/blue one thing, as if little girls can't do things which are stereotypically boy things and vice versa. Ignore your family, they will come round and it's unfair they are openly disappointed about the sex. Isn't it weird going from calling baby "it" to "he" or "she"? I have an anterior placenta too, I think it just means movements can be more difficult to feel.

@KnitKitty thank you for your reassurance, as ever you are the voice of reason and positivity :) You're right I am longing for a nice round bump to act as proof or a reminder I'm pregnant - but I'm sure that will come, for now it looks like all those pre-pregnancy abs exercises were actually doing something haha! How exciting that you saw tummy move with baby girls movements, such a special moment! Glad that the tummy pain was just wind.

@Kayjay2018 hope you're managing the nausea ok

@rubyroot beautiful bump!

@Squiff70 ouch I hope it's not too sore.

I've still got a headache today, I was told to ring MAU if it got worse or if I felt ill. It's not worse but no better either, I've left a message for the bereavement midwife as my community midwife isn't in until Thursday. I'm just not sure how long I'm ok leaving it for or if I need to see someone to make sure.

So the cons of feeling movements early, are having no movements for the last 5 days 😳 I'm sure I'm being paranoid and baby will have just moved and given its so early I just can't feel it any more. Roll on Saturday for my 16 week scan.

@Bluebelltip is your headache related to high blood pressure?

Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been terrible with keeping up. We had harmony results and nuchal scan today- all good news! Low risk (1 in 10,000 chance for all three trisomies) and baby is looking healthy. I’m having a girl! So overwhelmed. I thought we were having a boy for some strange reason. Less likely to inherit my dh’s condition (very rare in girls) so feel relieved. Got my nhs scan on Wednesday.

Some lovely bump pics! Glad to hear about so many positive scans. I would have been due this week so I’m so grateful to have a little girl curled up inside me.
@rubyroot I’m sure baby is fine- maybe a cold drink will get them going? Hope the scan on Saturday goes well.

@Mistymeow great news on scan, nipt results and the gender esp in relation to your dhs condition. How many weeks are you now?

@rubyroot thank you. I’ll be 13 weeks tomorrow. Still in shock. Hope you feel your little one again soon x

@Mistymeow congratulations on your results.

@rubyroot I hope your little one reassures you soon, it's nerve racking at that stage in movement terms. Last week I had high blood pressure on Thursday but no headache then on Friday I had a headache but blood pressure was fine. I've been told to look out for other signs of high blood pressure (swelling, visual problems, pain in lower ribs, headache getting worse) and go straight in if any happen. None of those have happened but headache hasn't improved either, midwife got back to me and said if I'm still getting a headache tomorrow that she wants my blood pressure and urine checking again. I've not had any of these problems in my previous pregnancies but my mum had severe pre-eclampsia with me.

@Bluebelltulip I've had headache for 6 weeks now 😳 blood pressure not high. It could be entirely unrelated to your blood pressure, or indeed you pregnancy. Although I completely understand the need to monitor.

I went to Dr's when I had it for two weeks and just got sent away, I need to go back really but the fact I always get fobbed off makes me not want to bother, also it takes two weeks for appts 😭

@rubyroot I've always found midwives take these things more seriously than GP's, are you due your 16 week appointment soon? I hope your headache goes soon.

Congrats @Mistymeow, so happy for you that you've had the results you were hoping for! And congrats to you, @frillyfarmer and @strawberrye on your little girls and @sadtoday21 on your little boy!

@strawberrye I am having the opposite problem, I am short and a little overweight and already have what looks like a slight bump at 9 weeks, but assuming it's just fat and bloating at this stage 😕 I think the consecutive pregnancies and miscarriages have led to a build up of fat around my belly, which is normally pretty flat. Feeling very jealous of all of your slim builds in the photos 😂

@Squiff70 really sorry to hear about your poor dog, so sad 💕